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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 4:36 am 
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High Skool Artist wrote:
did you know its raining cats and dogs outside, in fact i just stepped in a really big poodle

LOLOLOLOLOL*stabbedwithabigknife*

Um... a beaver walks into a pile of wood and says "Dam." DA EDN!!!!111!

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 6:14 am 
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Did hear about the guy who comitted suicide by drinking a can of varnish? It was a terrible ending but a very nice finish.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 7:08 pm 
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Alright, so there's a guy taking a ride through the Arizona desert with a friend. His SUV gets stuck, and he has nothing on him except for a half-empty bottle of water. While the man is searching for shelter, he stumbles upon a small cave, in which he decides to spend the night. Unbeknownst to the man, this cave also serves as home to a diamondback rattlesnake. He is bitten on the leg by the snake, falling prey to the powerful toxins within its venom. As all of this has transpired, his friend has successfully gotten the SUV unstuck; the friend promptly drives the rattlesnake victim to a nearby hospital, where the doctors successfully treat the bite. He returns home in good health.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 7:27 pm 
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^Seriously. Stop with the serious-no-punchline jokes.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 7:30 pm 
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What happens when you throw a German off a cliff?

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You get sent to prison

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 7:44 pm 
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^See, those are funny. The no-punchline ones were good for the first two.

A piece of rope walks into a bar (just follow along) and says, "I'd like a beer." "Sorry, we don't serve ropes." The rope gets very angry and storms out. He rubs his hands all through his hair and ties himself in knots as he has a tamtrum. Finally the rope walks back into the bar and orders a beer again. "We don't serve ropes. Didn't you hear me last time?" The rope says, "I'm a frayed knot."
AHAHAHA


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 8:04 pm 
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3 turtles walk to the park for a picnic, they pack 3 sandwiches and 3 sodas. So they sit down and are about to eat when they realize they forgot the sodas, so they argue about who goes back to get them finally one goes back, but before he leaves he says "Don't eat any of the sandwiches while I'm gone." The other 2 wait and wait and wait. Eventually they decide to eat their 2 sandwiches, they each un-wrap a sandwich and are about to take a bite when the 3rd turtle pops out from behind a rock and says "That's it I'm not going!"

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 8:32 pm 
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...

What?

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 9:41 pm 
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why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Quote:
because he was dead.

why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree?
Quote:
because the 1st one hit him on the way down.

why did all of the other monkeys fall out of the tree?
Quote:
because they thought it was a game.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 9:45 pm 
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Why did something semi-humorous happen?

Quote:
unexpected answer

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 9:46 pm 
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@ wulf: That wasn't funny at all.

@ inad: That was AWESOME.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 9:47 pm 
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Why did these jokes get driven into the ground in one day?

Quote:
because your mom's a stallion and I totally went there

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 2:31 am 
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What's black and rhymes with Snoop?

Quote:
Dr. Dre.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 1:34 am 
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Real Raamis wrote:
^Seriously. Stop with the serious-no-punchline jokes.
Okay.

Glen: Why was Farmer Brown angry?
Glenda: Someone "got his goat".

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 3:06 pm 
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The Snork wrote:
Real Raamis wrote:
^Seriously. Stop with the serious-no-punchline jokes.
Okay.

Glen: Why was Farmer Brown angry?
Glenda: Someone "got his goat".

Do I see an Ed Wood reference?

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 3:27 pm 
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What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
Quote:
"Here come the elephants."

What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants wearing dark sunglasses coming?
Quote:
nothing, he didn't reconize them.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 3:31 pm 
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Wulf: T_T

How many egotists does it take to screw in a lighbulb?
THE ANSWER, FOOLS! wrote:
One to hold it in as the world revolves around him.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 4:13 pm 
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whats T_T mean?

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 4:29 pm 
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silent wulf wrote:
whats T_T mean?



It's an emoticon. The T's are meant to be closed eyes with tears running down.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 5:25 pm 
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They are?

I always saw the lines as the eys and the top as the eybrow, like you're "wtf did you just seriously say that you moron"

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 5:40 pm 
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Avoid this guy wrote:
They are?

I always saw the lines as the eys and the top as the eybrow, like you're "wtf did you just seriously say that you moron"

Yeah, like half-closed eyes. I commonly use this emoticon instead, though: Image

And the big version:
Image

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 9:21 pm 
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Well, I had it explained to me differently, probably by someone who didn't have a clue.

Much like me when I posted that.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 9:27 pm 
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DumDeDum wrote:
Well, I had it explained to me differently, probably by someone who didn't have a clue.

Much like me when I posted that.
No, don't worry, most of the sources I've read state T_T did start out with your definition, but I guess that it has changed.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 9:32 pm 
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Back to the Future jokes, please.
Three men are on an airplane. It's going down. "We need to lose weight!" says the pilot. A bowler says "I've got plenty of these," and throws a bowling all off. A golfer says "I've got a lot of these," and tosses a golf ball off. A terrorist says "I don't need this," and throws a stick of dynamite off. They land safely. Later, the pilot is walking along and sees a boy crying. "What happened?" "A bowling ball fell from the sky and hit my dad! He's in the hospital!" The pilot continues on his way. Later, he sees a girl crying. "What's the matter?" "A golf ball fell from the sky and hit my cat! It's dead!" The pilot walks along. Finally, he sees a boy laughing. "What's so funny?" "My dad farted and the house blew up!"
Did I post that somewhere already?


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 9:41 pm 
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Askingforachallenge wrote:
Back to the Future jokes, please.
Three men are on an airplane. It's going down. "We need to lose weight!" says the pilot. A bowler says "I've got plenty of these," and throws a bowling all off. A golfer says "I've got a lot of these," and tosses a golf ball off. A terrorist says "I don't need this," and throws a stick of dynamite off. They land safely. Later, the pilot is walking along and sees a boy crying. "What happened?" "A bowling ball fell from the sky and hit my dad! He's in the hospital!" The pilot continues on his way. Later, he sees a girl crying. "What's the matter?" "A golf ball fell from the sky and hit my cat! It's dead!" The pilot walks along. Finally, he sees a boy laughing. "What's so funny?" "My dad farted and the house blew up!"
Did I post that somewhere already?

Jokem'n wrote:
This joke is like second grade all over again. And that's because we all thought it was the funniest thing ever. Although our version was a little different.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 6:18 am 
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There was this one time, when this family went up to a talent agent, and the father says "We've got a family act for you to see." They all fornicate and defecate creatively, and the talent agent, all wide-eyed, says, "What would you call an act like that?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats."

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 9:11 pm 
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How does a redhead get to a man's heart?
Through his ribcage

What do you call a redhead with an attitude?
Normal.

How do you get a redhead's mood to change?
Wait ten seconds.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 10:07 pm 
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Setsumi-san wrote:
How does a redhead get to a man's heart?
Through his ribcage

What do you call a redhead with an attitude?
Normal.

How do you get a redhead's mood to change?
Wait ten seconds.

Image
Gingers!

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 10:15 pm 
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Pop_tire1 wrote:
Hitler



Wait wut

I'm pretty sure that wasn't in the episode


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 10:35 pm 
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the basic premise of the episode was that Cartman was calling for the death of an entire group of people even though he was one.

I saw that as a reference to Hitler wanting the world to be all blue eyes, blonde hair, even though he wasn't that... Maybe I was wrong.

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