Homestar Runner Wiki Forum
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Jokes
http://forum.hrwiki.org/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=14355
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Author:  Askingforachallenge [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

Image
I'm from Arkansas

Author:  Hi Guys [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

DS_Kid wrote:
Hi Guys wrote:
There were these two fellars standin' on a bridge, a-goin' to the bathroom. One fellar said, "The water's cold" and the other fellar said, "The water's deep". I believe one fella come from Arkansas. Get it?



Mmmmmmmmmmmmm
You're awesome. As a reward, I'll be your slave.


I'm sure this won't lead to wacky situations with homosexual overtones!

Nope!

Author:  Biscuithead [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

That Arkansas one was another Black joke wasn't it. I really don't get these ones.

Might be due to the fact that there aren't many black people around here, and the ones that are mostly immigrated from Africa in recent years.

Author:  HHFOV [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

Also you guys kinda outbred all the half-caste Aboriginees into whites working on the rabbit-proof fence.

If Aboriginees can even be considered Black in the first place, but whatever.

Author:  Biscuithead [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

Yep that's right. We also hunt crocodiles, play didgeridoos, throw boomerangs and wear those hats with the corks. Oh and kangaroos regularly hop down the streets.

Author:  Askingforachallenge [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:39 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

VEGEMITE!?

Author:  Biscuithead [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

Oh of course, that too.

Author:  HHFOV [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

I wasn't trying to stereotype Australians or anything.

I'm just saying that that's a major event in Australian history and that that plays in as a factor in what you were talking about.

Jesus the Jew.

Author:  Jitka [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 2:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

Biscuithead wrote:
Yep that's right. We also hunt crocodiles, play didgeridoos, throw boomerangs and wear those hats with the corks. Oh and kangaroos regularly hop down the streets.


that's not a knoif

Author:  Hi Guys [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 2:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

Biscuithead wrote:
That Arkansas one was another Black joke wasn't it. I really don't get these ones.

Might be due to the fact that there aren't many black people around here, and the ones that are mostly immigrated from Africa in recent years.


No, it was a reference to "Slingblade".

Author:  Einoo T. Spork [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 2:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

Jitka wrote:
Biscuithead wrote:
Yep that's right. We also hunt crocodiles, play didgeridoos, throw boomerangs and wear those hats with the corks. Oh and kangaroos regularly hop down the streets.


that's not a knoif

Image
THIS is a knife

Author:  Jitka [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 2:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

Einoo T. Spork wrote:
Jitka wrote:
Biscuithead wrote:
Yep that's right. We also hunt crocodiles, play didgeridoos, throw boomerangs and wear those hats with the corks. Oh and kangaroos regularly hop down the streets.


that's not a knoif

Image
THIS is a knife


good job son

Author:  Biscuithead [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 2:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

I was looking for a proper image from that Simpsons episode, but the internet has failed me.

Author:  TheHumanScreenshot [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 3:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

What looks like half a chicken?

That joke wrote:
The other half.


What's the difference between a coyote and a flea?

That joke wrote:
One howls on the prairie, the other prowls on the hairy.

Author:  iand93 [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 4:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

Einoo T. Spork wrote:
Jitka wrote:
Biscuithead wrote:
Yep that's right. We also hunt crocodiles, play didgeridoos, throw boomerangs and wear those hats with the corks. Oh and kangaroos regularly hop down the streets.


that's not a knoif

Image
THIS is a knife
I see you've played knifey-spooney before.

Author:  AbuGrape45 [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 4:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

TheHumanScreenshot wrote:
What looks like half a chicken?

That joke wrote:
The other half.


Actually, that is incorrect. That punchline would imply that a chicken would have a head or a tail at each end of its body, which is not possible.

Author:  iand93 [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 4:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

Setup to well-known racist joke. Non-racist, more realistic punchline replacing original racist punchline.

Author:  Choc-o-Lardiac Arrest [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 4:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

iand93 wrote:
I see you've played knifey-spooney before.

Reminds me of that episode of Ed, Edd, n' Eddy where Ed asks Jimmy if he's ever played Splish Splash in a Bath. Oh god, I gotta go watch that now...

Author:  Dark Grapefruit [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 5:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

So this tourist from the Czech Republic comes to New York City. As he's sight-seeing one day, he decides to check out Central Park Zoo. The sign outside advertises their special exhibit of the month: a pair of Siberian tigers, a male and a female, on loan from San Diego. The tourist is really excited - he's been to zoos back home, but none of them ever had a tiger in it, let alone two. So he goes up to the tiger exhibit and starts taking pictures. He leans in really close over the bar, and just then someones bumps past him. He loses his balance and falls into the tiger habitat. Immediately one of the tigers jumps at him and claws at his throat, killing him. Of course by now there's widespread panic, people calling the police, ambulances, the zookeepers are going crazy, etc. The tiger manages to eat most of the tourist by the time everyone gets settled down. The zoo is immediately closed so things can get cleaned up. The mortician asks the zookeepers, "which one of your tigers ate the guy?" But the keepers can't tell just from looking at them, so they decide to give them X-rays to see which one has bones and clothing bits in its stomach. They put the female tiger on the X-ray machine first, and they find no traces of human remains inside her. So the X-ray technician turns to the mortician and says,
"There you have it. The Czech is in the male."



AbuGrape45 wrote:
TheHumanScreenshot wrote:
What looks like half a chicken?

That joke wrote:
The other half.


Actually, that is incorrect. That punchline would imply that a chicken would have a head or a tail at each end of its body, which is not possible.


Cut the chicken lengthwise.

Author:  Capt. Ido Nos [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 2:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

Dark Grapefruit wrote:
So this tourist from the Czech Republic comes to New York City. As he's sight-seeing one day, he decides to check out Central Park Zoo. The sign outside advertises their special exhibit of the month: a pair of Siberian tigers, a male and a female, on loan from San Diego. The tourist is really excited - he's been to zoos back home, but none of them ever had a tiger in it, let alone two. So he goes up to the tiger exhibit and starts taking pictures. He leans in really close over the bar, and just then someones bumps past him. He loses his balance and falls into the tiger habitat. Immediately one of the tigers jumps at him and claws at his throat, killing him. Of course by now there's widespread panic, people calling the police, ambulances, the zookeepers are going crazy, etc. The tiger manages to eat most of the tourist by the time everyone gets settled down. The zoo is immediately closed so things can get cleaned up. The mortician asks the zookeepers, "which one of your tigers ate the guy?" But the keepers can't tell just from looking at them, so they decide to give them X-rays to see which one has bones and clothing bits in its stomach. They put the female tiger on the X-ray machine first, and they find no traces of human remains inside her. So the X-ray technician turns to the mortician and says,
"There you have it. The Czech is in the male."

Image

Author:  HHFOV [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 2:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

I don't get it.

Author:  gino [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 3:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

HHFOV wrote:
I don't get it.

Quote:
"There you have it. The Czech is in the male."

sounds like "The check is in the mail."

Author:  Real Raamis [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 8:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

gino wrote:
HHFOV wrote:
I don't get it.

Quote:
"There you have it. The Czech is in the male."

sounds like "The check is in the mail."

And that still doesn't make sense....

Author:  Acekirby [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 10:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

It's just a pun.

Author:  TheFacelessEvil [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 10:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

Acekirby wrote:
It's just a pun.

It was a very long set up for a very bad pun. Therefore it's one of those "painful" jokes.

Yes, writhe all of you. Writhe.

Author:  Stinko girl 20x6 [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 10:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Author:  TheFacelessEvil [ Fri Jun 20, 2008 10:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

Stinko girl 20x6 wrote:
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

... I'm SO forwarding this joke to my family.
Thank you.

Author:  DS_Kid [ Sat Jun 21, 2008 12:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

Stinko girl 20x6 wrote:
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
He walks into a bar--okay. Then...?

Author:  TheFacelessEvil [ Sat Jun 21, 2008 12:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

DS_Kid wrote:
Stinko girl 20x6 wrote:
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
He walks into a bar--okay. Then...?

Disca, you aren't blonde, you have no excuse. :)

Author:  ramroad [ Sat Jun 21, 2008 12:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes

How many ramrods does it take to change a lightbulb?

2. One to change the lightbulb, one to run around the forum all fancy prancy and say "look everyone I'm ramrod I'm so great I'm not pathetic at all ooh"

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