Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

I'll be leading a seminar Tuesday, and I"m in need of a good "icebreaker". I'm looking for a classy statement, witty joke, situation, anything along those lines that's not historical, political, scientific, or otherwise too fact based. It'll be around 330 people, ages ~30 and above.

Anyone with something extremely witty to say, please post it . . . . I need all the ideas I can handle.

Darn. I thought this was a topic about breath mints.

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Well, that's your seminar about? If we know what's it's about, then you could use a quote or something that fits along that same line.

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What? No mints? I'm out.

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Representin' since '98.

Alright, it was funny when Fire Bird said it. Now you're just being disrespectful.

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[porplemontage studios]
>>internet entertainment

Yeah, it'd help if we knew what you were talkin' 'bout.

Jokes usually help.

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Well excardon me.

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Representin' since '98.

i believe hes talking about some kinda witty statement to try to get a girl to go out with you...like...ok i dont know any.

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Sister, now that we're grieving
Our fingers will falter
Our lungs will be leaking
All over each other and without even speaking
We'll know that it's over and smile and go greeting
Whatever comes next

Nah no_Toppings, he even stated in his post that he's giving a seminar and wants to start with something that will capture his/her's audience.

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Bring a prop, eg, a cup of ice, tip it on the floor and stomp on it. Then proceed. "Now that I've broken the ice...."

Or bring a life-size cardboard cut out of a movie star (ask for one at a video rental place) and stand it up next to you. Doing something weird is a good way to capture attention!

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IT'S TIME TO REEVALUATE U.S. INVOLVEMENT!

Every day there are news reports about more deaths. Every night on TV there are photos of death and destruction. Why are we still there?

We occupied this land, which we had to take by force, but it causes us nothing but trouble. Why are we still there?

Many of our children go there and never come back. Why are we still there?

Their government is unstable, and they have loopy leadership. Why are we still there?

Many of their people are uncivilized. Why are we still there?

The place is subject to natural disasters, from which we are supposed to bail them out. Why are we still there?

There are more than 1,000 religious sects, which we do not understand. Why are we still there?

Their folkways, foods, and fads are unfathomable to ordinary Americans. Why are we still there?

We can't even secure the borders. Why are we still there?

They are billions of dollars in debt, and it will cost billions more to rebuild which we can't afford. Why are we still there?

It is becoming clear...

WE MUST PULL OUT OF CALIFORNIA!!

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ne day, Mr. Phillard rushed his pregnant wife over to the hospital. As the doctors were prepping his wife, Mr. Phillard's idiot brother Bill arrived to watch the birth. But when Mr. Phillard saw the blood and everything else, he fainted. When Mr. Phillard woke up he was in a bed with the doctor standing above him.

"Mr. Phillard," the doctor said, "you are in the recovery room. Don't worry, your wife is fine and she had twins, a boy and a girl. Because you were unconscious and your wife was still under anaesthesia, she requested that your brother Bill name the kids."

"What! My brother, the idiot! I can't believe you let him! What did he name them?"

"He named your daughter Denise.

"Hey, not bad! I underestimated my brother. What did he name my son?"

"He named your son Denephew."

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A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in a theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, ''Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat.'' The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient.

''Sir,'' the usher said, ''if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager.'' Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly.

''All right buddy, what's your name?''

"Sam,'' the man moaned.

"Where ya from, Sam?'' the cop asked.

"The balcony."

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A joke is the way to go, lemme quote someone who I admire very much

Tom Lehrer said:


That the way to go.

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RIP Nathan "Buz" Buzdor

Thanks for the repsonses, I really like PizzaTrophy's idea!

As to the topic of the seminar, it's "Expansion of Politcal Parties in the US". We'll be discussing the possible division of either the Democratic or Republican party, or perhaps both. However, I'd like to open with something entirely inapplicable to the topic. The literal breaking of ice trick is genius . . . . I just might have to use that.

Or get an ice-cube and smash it with a hammer. It's a brilliant brilliant brilliant plan! Genius I say.

The literal ice breaking stunt went over well . . . . great response. Thanks again PizzaTrophy!

Hehe, what can I say??

Although I've never actually used it myself, I've seen it being done. Literalism at its finest!

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