Stupid Product Rants

TheNintenGenius · **Posted:** Mon Oct 11, 2004 6:56 pm

Yeah, apparently quite recently Target has started selling 12 packs of Jones in cans. Not sure if all of the flavors are being sold in cans yet (the flavors the target I went to had were Strawberry Lime, Cream Soda, Root Beer, Blue Bubblegum, and Green Apple, I believe), but it's a step up. A 12-pack of Jones is still more expensive than a 12-pack of, say, Coke, but for the Jones it's well worth it.

woddfellow2 · **Posted:** Wed Oct 13, 2004 6:12 pm

Shaon wrote:

Yu Yu Hakusho (for gba): who wants a game that put a professional to SLEEP???

It puts professionals to sleep? :eek:

TheNintenGenius · **Posted:** Wed Oct 13, 2004 7:14 pm

I've only had positive rants as-of late in my mind. Perhaps I'm becoming less bitter and cynical, or maybe because Brian Wilson's Smile is making me do as its title says (and I could fill up a very long post about Smile, believe me). I've managed to dredge up at least a couple negatives, though, so here they are:

Action 52: For any of you oldschool NES fans, I'll give you a heads-up right now: this is by far the worst NES game that has ever been manufactured. Consisting of 52 seperate games on one cartridge (produced by a rather shady fly-by-night organization), it manages to be one of the most spectacular failures of coding and graphics that's ever been made. Each one of the 52 games on this cartridge is bad, and not just normal bad, soul-scarring bad. The fact that it wasn't an officially licensed game means it probably doesn't truly count for the title of worst NES game ever, but still, this game makes you want to just curl up and die.

Mini CD-Rs: What, exactly, is the point behind these? Unless there are special CD players that only take these little dinky objects, I'm thinking they're for people who either don't have enough music they like to put on a regular-sized CD-R (despite the fact that the cost difference between regulars and minis is rather small), or just think that the minis are the CUTEST GOSH-DARNED THINGS. I'd rather pay the little extra and get much more music for my money, but hey, if people are stupid enough to buy them, they get made.

InterruptorJones · **Posted:** Wed Oct 13, 2004 7:27 pm

TheNintenGenius wrote:

Mini CD-Rs: What, exactly, is the point behind these?

Well, they're smaller. That's the point. There have been a few MP3 players made that use them (they hold about two hours of MP3 music), but they've found a solid market in digital cameras (because a blank 3" CD-R/CD-RW costs a lot less than a 128MB memory card, and a full-sized disc would make the camera ginormous). They're also very useful for marketing because of their small size. You can put your company's portfolio or a marketing video or something on one and hand them out at trade shows, and passers-by can just slip them in their pocket or purse. They're also sometimes easier to bundle with books and magazines. And they're just so darn cute!

notstrongorbad · **Joined:** Wed Sep 15, 2004 3:09 pm **Posts:** 242

They even make some that are business-card dimensions. But yes, other than in cameras, I'm not convinced that smaller is that much better; you'd just lose 'em more easily!

No Toppings · **Posted:** Wed Oct 13, 2004 8:29 pm

Business Cards: Wow, theyve gotten really low, chopping down forests to make little cards with phone numbers that people never use!! Do you know how many of those things that i find in peoples trash everyFREAKIN DAY?? ( Not that i go rooting through there)

Pokemon, Duel Masters & Yugioh cards Good Gravy! Looka these cheap imitations of magic cards. The costs on these are pretendous!! I mean paying $60 for a piece of shiny paper with some guys severed head on it?? Come on people!!! Well, now that i have em, might as well sell em!

No Loafing · **Joined:** Fri May 21, 2004 12:54 am **Posts:** 718

No Toppings wrote:

Business Cards: Wow, theyve gotten really low, chopping down forests to make little cards with phone numbers that people never use!! Do you know how many of those things that i find in peoples trash everyFREAKIN DAY?? ( Not that i go rooting through there)

I guess I agree.

No Toppings wrote:

Pokemon, Duel Masters & Yugioh cards Good Gravy! Looka these cheap imitations of magic cards. The costs on these are pretendous!! I mean paying $60 for a piece of shiny paper with some guys severed head on it?? Come on people!!! Well, now that i have em, might as well sell em!

I really agree.

TheNintenGenius · **Posted:** Wed Oct 13, 2004 10:31 pm

InterruptorJones wrote:

they've found a solid market in digital cameras

I guess I didn't realize that, as most every digital camera I've ever seen or come in contact with has used memory cards.

woddfellow2 · **Posted:** Wed Oct 13, 2004 10:56 pm

No Toppings wrote:

...Pokemon, Duel Masters & Yugioh cards Good Gravy! Looka these cheap imitations of magic cards. The costs on these are pretendous!! I mean paying $60 for a piece of shiny paper with some guys severed head on it?? Come on people!!! Well, now that i have em, might as well sell em!

Actually, I prefer the Pokémon video games over the cards, despite the fact that I have many cards. I have over 40 Yu-Gi-Oh! cards, and because I have no friends, I don't play with any of my trading cards.

woddfellow2 · **Posted:** Thu Oct 14, 2004 3:01 am

Old Navy: I saw this one commercial where this guy says "I'm going to get some air." or something like that, and then the girl says something along the lines of "I love air! It never gets old and it's free!". Then the announcer says stuff about 2 types of molecules fusing to form the "feel good molecule" (more like caffiene sim molecule), and how it causes "fasion euphoria". Oh, brother. Clothes won't make you extremely happy. You can get the same effect by drinking a huge amount of caffiene. Look what it did to Strong Sad! That is one of the most asinine commercials I have ever seen. There was also this commercial where the teacher says they're going to do history, and the same girl says something along the lines of: "I love history! Something happened, and then something else happened! Thank you, first guy, for writing history down! [sic]", then with the same explanation about fashion euphoria. The advertising department at Old Navy needs to make more sensical advertisements.

racerx_is_alive · **Posted:** Thu Oct 14, 2004 2:44 pm

If we want to flame non-sensical advertisements (which is fine with me), what about that Skittles commercial where some middle-aged guy is in an eagles nest, and then a giant eagle flies up and pours skittles in his mouth? I'd rather have fashion euphoria any day.

woddfellow2 · **Posted:** Thu Oct 14, 2004 5:23 pm

Yes, that is a rather stupid advertisement, even though I haven't seen it.

racerx_is_alive · **Posted:** Thu Oct 14, 2004 5:26 pm

http://www.skittles.com/advertising/index.jsp

It's the 2nd one, called Nest. WMP or Quicktime.

woddfellow2 · **Posted:** Thu Oct 14, 2004 5:30 pm

That is slightly stupid. I would have inspected the trees to see which ones whose leaves I could eat, then maybe save the Skittles for when I want a treat. (I didn't want it to rhyme.)

No Loafing · **Joined:** Fri May 21, 2004 12:54 am **Posts:** 718

"WE INTTERUPT THIS PROGRAM"etc.:Why do they do this? I mean, I want to watch shows in peace with no intteruptions.

woddfellow2 · **Posted:** Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:03 pm

What if there was a tornado warning or a terrorist attack or something?

No Loafing · **Joined:** Fri May 21, 2004 12:54 am **Posts:** 718

woddfellow2 wrote:

What if there was a tornado warning or a terrorist attack or something?

ummm....except for that.

notstrongorbad · **Joined:** Wed Sep 15, 2004 3:09 pm **Posts:** 242

What's possibly stupid about that is saying "WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM," when it's obvious that that's what they're doing. It's like if they didn't we'd think, "Hey! This is an unexpected plot twist! The Enterprise encounters an uncharted spatial anomaly--and a tornado heads for my house!! That's one spooooky anomaly!"

TURKEY · **Joined:** Mon Aug 23, 2004 2:40 pm **Posts:** 337

This has been mentioned by comedians before, but I'm still gonna say it:
Where was the emergency broadcast system on 9/11? If it needs to be tested, they should use it, and that was a good time to use it, don't you think? Where's Freakazoid going "Beeeeeeeeeeee" when you need him?

woddfellow2 · **Posted:** Tue Oct 19, 2004 5:37 pm

Man, this thread is dying.

Music on Web pages: What gives with this crap?! What if someone was sleeping and their compy had no volume control (or it did and it had an obscurely placed/hard to use volume control) and they forgot they had the volume at a non-0 level, and they entered a Web page with music and it awoke the other person? What if they had a disease and needed sleep? Not only that, but what if you were playing music already and it mixed in with your music?

notstrongorbad · **Joined:** Wed Sep 15, 2004 3:09 pm **Posts:** 242

woddfellow2 wrote:

Man, this thread is dying.

Music on Web pages: What gives with this crap?! What if someone was sleeping and their compy had no volume control (or it did and it had an obscurely placed/hard to use volume control) and they forgot they had the volume at a non-0 level, and they entered a Web page with music and it awoke the other person? What if they had a disease and needed sleep? Not only that, but what if you were playing music already and it mixed in with your music?

Or what if you went to a page and NOT ONLY was their background mp3 offensively loud (even relative to your volume level); it was also gag-reflex sappy, AND FROZE YOUR BROWSER!!!! Sorry about the moment of caps, but I was ticked. I'd link to the page in question, but it would FREEZE YOUR BROWSER!!

InterruptorJones · **Posted:** Tue Oct 19, 2004 6:14 pm

TURKEY wrote:

Where was the emergency broadcast system on 9/11? If it needs to be tested, they should use it, and that was a good time to use it, don't you think? Where's Freakazoid going "Beeeeeeeeeeee" when you need him?

Maybe it needs more testing. :cheatgrin:

notstrongorbad · **Joined:** Wed Sep 15, 2004 3:09 pm **Posts:** 242

I think everything was fine. Nothing was ruined. Nonetheless... it did not look good for Homestar Runner.

Didymus · **Posted:** Fri Oct 22, 2004 5:38 am

What the crap is up with Nite-Quil? This stuff tastes like rancid monkey fat cooked in leftover battery acid. Sheesh! Could they make the stuff taste any worse?

They call it "The Sniffling, Sneezing, Coughing, Aching, Stuffy Head, Fever, WHAT THE CRAP AM I DOING ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR?!" Medicine. There's a very good reason why the commercials always show people taking it in bed: THIS STUFF KNOCKS YOU OUT C-O-L-D!! No freaking kidding!

I do have to admit, though, it will fix you up. If there's ever going to be a cure for the common cold, it will probably be derived from Nite-Quil. That is, if it doesn't put you INTO A FREAKING COMA!!

notstrongorbad · **Joined:** Wed Sep 15, 2004 3:09 pm **Posts:** 242

Actually, I think it's abused as a sleep aid far more often than used for colds. I certainly can't say I've never done so.

Cheatcake · **Posted:** Sat Oct 30, 2004 12:33 am

Poke'mon: Stupid show! For idiots -100 and younger! (Note: Name being changed to Ghetto'mon due to lack of inetrest.

Barney(the dino):ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuwhaaaaaaaaaaaahhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

InterruptorJones · **Posted:** Sat Oct 30, 2004 1:51 am

Didymus wrote:

What the crap is up with Nite-Quil? This stuff tastes like rancid monkey fat cooked in leftover battery acid. Sheesh! Could they make the stuff taste any worse?

Have you tried Green Death flavor? Yowza.

I agree with you on all counts. I think Ny-Quil will probably be the basis for the next big biological weapon.

And what about Da-Quil? That stuff is the closest I've ever come to a narcotic high. Wheeeeee!

woddfellow2 · **Posted:** Fri Nov 05, 2004 6:36 pm

This thread is clinically dead. They killed Stupid Product Rants! You <CENSORED>!
nuke'd

InterruptorJones · **Posted:** Fri Nov 05, 2004 7:23 pm

woddfellow2 wrote:

InterruptorJones wrote:

I agree with you on all counts. I think Ny-Quil will probably be the basis for the next big biological weapon.

The people in the Middle East can use it to blow up themselves.

Hi. Bigotry isn't allowed here. If you do it again you'll be banned.

Carry on.

woddfellow2 · **Posted:** Sat Nov 06, 2004 12:59 am

What I meant was that since they kill people over there all the time, that they can use replace the bombs. In fact, I'll nuke that comment. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to be taken as bigotry.

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