Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

Well, I just checked my email and got a message that I am "inheriting" 10.5 million dollars from a deceased relative. I think (know) it's a hoax. It gave me the idea to create a thread where everyone at the forum can share the weird and funny (and appropriate, of course) scammy-spammy (real) emails they get, and discuss them. Here's what I just opened up today (my name deleted):

Barrister Mark Anthony

Mark & Associates

111, Bamgbose street,

Lagos Island, Lagos


Attn:[Ungurait#7],

I crave your indulgence as I contact you in such a surprising manner and I want you to bear in mind that this is not a hoax but I respectfully insist you read this mail carefully as I am optimistic it will open door for unimaginable financial reward for both of us.

I am Barrister Mark Anthony the personal attorney to late Engr.[alleged relative],a foreigner and oil merchant/Contractor, herein shall be referred as my client. On the 21st of October 2000, my client, his wife and their three children were involved in a ghastly auto accident along Shagamu Express road, unfortunately, all occupants of the vehicle lost their lives, Since then I have made several enquiries to locate any of my client's extended relatives and this as been unsuccessful.

After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to track his name over the Internet to locate any member of his family or any close name to his, hence I contacted you, I am contacting you to assist in repatriating the money left behind by my client before they get confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank where this huge amount US10.5million were lodged.

The bank has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin/Relative or have the fund confiscated within the next 21 banking days. Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the the relatives for over 3 years now, I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin/Relative of the deceased since you have the same last name so that this US10.5 million can be transferred into your account and then you and I will share this fund 50/50 for our individual roles in the transaction.

All I require is your honest co-operation and confidentiality to enable us see this deal through, I guarantee that this will be executed under legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.

Please send your reply through my private emailaddress :mark_anthony30@hotmail.com

Thanks and God Bless.

BARRISTER MARK ANTHONY

I dunno, should I email the guy just to see? (probably not, right?)Has anyone else gotten something like this? And don't forget to share your email hoaxes here, too!

_________________
"There's two kinds of people in this world: me, and everybody else. In that order."
-me
"Like you aren't an easy jab for my witty glivers and put-dubs."
-Stong Buh

It's called spam email. I've gotten things like that before.

_________________
[porplemontage studios]
>>internet entertainment

Well, has anyone in your family died recently? I would say not to reply, since I believe it's spam. Report it to your e-mail provider (eg. Yahoo, Hotmail, ect.)

_________________

Oh yes. Plenty.
"Hello, I live in your area, and I was wondering if you wanted to spend the day with me..."

I hate spam mail.

_________________

Actually, that's what's known as a 419 scam.

I've been getting weird spam lately that's nothing but various bits of text from the novel Captain Blood. I'm not kidding.

_________________

I don't think I'll respond to Mr. Anthony. But don't forget, if you get hoaxes like this, post 'em here so we can laugh at them and perhaps raise awareness of it.

_________________
"There's two kinds of people in this world: me, and everybody else. In that order."
-me
"Like you aren't an easy jab for my witty glivers and put-dubs."
-Stong Buh

Okay.

And I’m always getting “Need a low mortgage rate?” or “Surprise your woman” emails. Remember,

_________________
[porplemontage studios]
>>internet entertainment

I said you should email them back, but instead of excepting the offer, just ask a whole lot of noncence-common-sence questions. Then they might send back more smam, or they would just get really annoyed and said the answers back. Then! Send even more questions back!

_________________
Sigs are for n00bs

You should mess with his head but not agree to anything he wants you to do. It might be good for a few laughs.

_________________

Heh heh. I like that idea, Kellan6. I could be like,

Dear Barrister Anthony,

Thank you for taking a personal interest in this case; I'm glad you have contacted me about this unfortunate event.

I make it am point to only do monetary transactions in person. However, since I am an independently wealthy businessman myself, I am very busy, so I will some of my people over to see you in Lagos in my stead. I am sure you all will be able to work out a deal.

I was very reassured that your correspondence was not a hoax; had it been, you would be hearing from the police very soon.

Thanks and God Bless

_________________
"There's two kinds of people in this world: me, and everybody else. In that order."
-me
"Like you aren't an easy jab for my witty glivers and put-dubs."
-Stong Buh

Let's see, I get spam mail on medicine I care not to post about. I also get spam mail about software that I already have. I also get spam mail in Korean.

_________________

Blech, I keep getting "Webcam" spam emails. I try blocking them but everytime to email address is different...

_________________

You guys should read this website

Some people actually trick the scammers into giving them money.

I'd suggest you try something like this one. This guy got $200 from a scammer!

I get a lot of Russian spam. Like, with the cyrillic alphabet and everything. I think it's for, um, medicine, but I really can't tell.

_________________
"There's two kinds of people in this world: me, and everybody else. In that order."
-me
"Like you aren't an easy jab for my witty glivers and put-dubs."
-Stong Buh

I'm gonna send an email to this guy and try to annoy him. I'll post to tell you guys what happens.

(By the way, what was the subject of the email?)

I get either completely random text, or more recently, pro-Islam trolls. I don't have anything against Muslims but it sounds like it was written by an anti-US troll.

When I used my SBC Yahoo email account I would often get spam that had graphics copied off of the Microsoft website and claiming to be the latest patch for that month for every single Windows version since 95 and every recent Office release.

Also, my oldold AOL account (about 3 years ago) was cracked and used to send out porno spam to other AOL members. I got about 6 replies from people that couldn't believe the internet would ever be used for such a function - with the general tone that I had singled out these people to send porno ads to.

_________________

Mine are never fun like those 419 spammies. It's always to enlarge my...Toes...and one time it said "So big they'll call you mister!" I laughed for like, half an hour.

I'm mature.

_________________

Don't feel bad. I don't get any either. The funniest thing I ever got was an IM from one of my old friends... she greeted me with "Hello, tasty children."

Actually, it was a little disturbing... but ah well.

_________________
"A pro isn't someone who sacrifices themselves for a job. That's just a fool." - Reno

That is hillarious!!! Scamming a scammer... That's still gotta be illegal, but, if he's lucky, the judge will have a REAL sense of humor..

I love those "manhood" emails... The best spammail I ever got though was from a company promising me that, for $30,000 they could get me into a program to scam people with fake, ummm, enlargement pills... A scam about a scam.. Lovely.

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

For a time I noticed lots of virus type emails, all of them with about 101k size in data, so of course they all got DELETED! But what was funny was when one came (was it 10k or 100k this time?) titled "You will want to be careful with this".....I saved an image
Have gotten two or three of those 419-type emails but not recently.

_________________
"No, no, no. You gotta get those rings... INSIDE the bottle!"
I'm just an old timer who lurks on occasion. Even in 2020, at least.

I hear you can get lots of them by signing guestbooks with the words "mugu" and "guymen." I'm hoping to get a few soon.

You're hoping to attract spam with the hopes of trying to scam money off of them. I'd be careful though. It might not work for you.

_________________

I got one to enlarge my Wang (not what it said,really)3 inches longer.

Deleted straight away.

My mum got this one too!

_________________

I'm not trying to get money. I just want to have some fun.

I got one today that was in French, and it was an ad for an ice cream parlor. Weird. I wonder how I ended up on that list?

_________________

Score! Here's another one I just received. Why do they always say they're in Africa?

Dear Friend,
I got your reference from a search on the internet and had
intended to hold a personal meeting with you to discuss the
issues contained in this letter but decided to send your this personal
letter instead, so as not to influence your decision to participate in the
project. However to ensure that you receive this letter timely and
confidentially, I have suggested the use of your email address so that uou
can get it,read its content and make up your mind if you can assist me
or not.

This project involves millions of dollars and we require a
partner with unwavering reliability and trust. This is the most vital reason
for our decision to invite you to partake in this project.

The project:

I am Francis Yekoyada Omoto Jnr, a former Permanent
Secretary in the Ministry of Finance, during the presidency of Daniel Arap
Moi and currently a Director in the Energy Ministry here in Kenya. In
the course of our duties, my colleagues and I were privileged to
influence contract decisions and operate consultancy firms to receive
consultation fees and commissions from contractors as well as multi-national
companies that operated in my country.

These commissions in monetary terms
totaled Eighteen million, six hundred and twenty
thousand American Money and are currently held under an escrow
account with the national bank as claims due for an executed contract.

We now desire to move these funds to your country and invest it until our
retirement in the near future. However to ensure minimal attention and tax
implication, I will require your assistance in the transfer of these
funds to your country.

We are handicapped in the circumstances, as the
new reformed Civil Service Code of Conduct does not
allow us to open or maintain foreign accounts hence your importance in the whole transaction.

Funds Origin: The funds Eighteen million, six hundred and twenty
thousand united states dollar American money is total balance of the
commissions and consultancy fees which my colleagues and I charged and
accumulated on contracts executed by foreign contractors building
various multi-million dollars contracts over a 14 year period. While the is
nothing illegal about the funds, the change in political scene has made
necessary our desire to effect the transfer of the money to your
country before any new service reforms affects the funds mobility. We have
all required documentation, certificates and approval bonds that properly
documents the funds origin and receipts.

Your role The whole transfer process will transpire in a matter of
days and your role is to provide a transit account that will receive the
money as proceeds for an executed contract. This processing is
necessary to conform to international financial guidelines and money-laundering
laws as specified for both your country and mine. For your assistance,
we have agreed that you will receive the sum of Three million, Five hundred Thousand
American money.
You will need to provide,

1.A company name (including a confidential telephone and fax number)
2.The bank account (where the contract money will be remitted)

Be rest-assured that there is absolutely no risk involved as the
contract certification and approval bonds have been issue by government and
the money is ready for onward transfer.

Needless to say that some top
officials in the national bank and important ministries are my friends
and will also benefit.

Contact me.

It is important that you inform me on of your decision
without delay at my confidential email address
as my telephone and fax numbers are unreliable but I will be taking
delivery soon of new confidential telephones numbers specially for this
project which I will make available to you.

What is of utmost importance is that you maintain absolute confidentiality
and not inform anyone of this project at any time. I am available to clarify any
questions you may have concerning the project.

I await your fullest cooperation.

Your Faithfully,

Francis Yekoyada Omoto Jnr.
Email-f.omoto100@caramail.com

This one isn't even that convincing. I give it a 6/10.

_________________
"There's two kinds of people in this world: me, and everybody else. In that order."
-me
"Like you aren't an easy jab for my witty glivers and put-dubs."
-Stong Buh

Because they are usually in Africa. 419 is the section of the Nigerian penal code which addresses fraud schemes. I'm still waiting. Why won't this guy reply?

Check this out...

---

Subject: CallMe

July 06, 2005 - 01:32:36


Dear (my email),

I'm new in town and I don't really want to be alone tonight.

Can you help show me around? (some crazy link)

If you are unsure about me, look for my personal photos and videos at this site. (no, not a different link, the exact same one.)

Incredible....how can people expect you to be so stupid!

_________________
"A pro isn't someone who sacrifices themselves for a job. That's just a fool." - Reno

Check This Out

More than 5 million send-me-a-dollar websites.

_________________

You can get your Master's Degree in "Sending Me a $" from Crazy-Go-Nuts University.

_________________