Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

We just had to read a play of it. Half the fun came from making fun of people who cannot read with any inflection at all.

Park's Quest: This book was just so stupid. It was about this kid who didn't know anything about his dad really, except that he had died in the vietnam war. He goes searching for answers, and doesn't like what he finds. it was pretty ironic since he says he hates characters in modern books who keep whining who you want to slap and tell them to stop whining, when he is one.

Nothing But the Truth: This was the stupidest book I have ever read. A kid doesn't like his teacher. One day he decides to hum/sing the pledge of allegiance in class. He eventually gets suspended, people come to his defense and the whole thing escalates to the point where he cant control it. He ends up going to a different school. I really hated EVERYONE in this story.[/u]

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DANTE!? I thoght that guy was just a crazy nut, not a real philosopher.

edit: oh wait I just realized that those are not philosophers just writers, never mind

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die spelling nazis!

Francie - The plot of this book had to do something about an African American girl, Skooter Pies, and some hunters. It involved a lot of doing nothing.

Parvana's Journey - Some girl lives in Afganhistan. She is threatened by the Taliban. Half of this story takes place at a FARM in the middle of a mine field.

That's all I remember for now.

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I cannot believe no one has mentioned the LAMEST school book of all time: Hatchet


I had to read this once in grade 5 then again in grade 7. I had to do two reports with the same criteria, and when I complained to my teacher I had to do Lines. The only book even close to the craptacularness of that is Pit Pony. After reading that we had to drive up to Cape Breton (took 4 hours) look at the outside of a mine (took five minutes) then drive back (another 4 hours). I really hated english.

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I loved Hatchet.

The sequels were just sellouts, though. Sellouts.

Oh, and I liked Dragonwings too, if we're thinking of the same book. The Chinese kid in San Francisco?

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beep beep I'm a Jeep

Surely ye jest. Hatchet is an awesome book, one of my personal favorites.

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I've been afforded some luck, I guess. This year I've already been through some great school-assigned books in English class like The Bell Jar, A Streetcar Named Desire, and The Crucible. It's all American literature this year, so I'll get my share of boring stuff around the romanticism period, but I think it'll all be balanced out because of the studies on Edgar Allen Poe. Poe's poetry does nothing for me, but his short stories are some of my favorites.

And through this independant study course, I'm expected to go through a good number of Shakespeare's plays, which can be pretty hit or miss in my book, but overall his stuff is enjoyable once you know what they're actually saying. I've already read Hamlet, Julius Caesar, Romeo and Juliet, Twelth Night, Comedy of Errors, and Midsummer Night's Dream.

Couple this with all the graphic novels and other books and novellas I read in my spare time. Yeah, I read a lot.

I have read many truly bad assigned books, but they're there.

1. It was like, Dolphin Island or something by something or other. I just remember it being annoyingly simplistic and stupid. Much rather read Junie B. Jones when I was in third grade....

2. The Last Shot, by some guy who went to my school. Last year's summer reading book. The fact that it was a basketball book was just an automatic turn-off, and made for such an uninteresting read. The author had accompanied a couple of these seniors who lived in the projects, who were trying to get scholarships for basketball. BO-RING.

3. Feed. This wasn't such a terrible book, just annoying. It's about how people in the future have these things called "feeds" in their head, which relays onto their brains references books, chatting capabilities, some thing that gets them drunk and/or high, TV shows, and LOTS and LOTS of ads, among other stuff. It was an interesting plot, as you saw how people talked with no grammatical sense and constantly using adjectives, as well as the fact people were too lazy to read and write, bascially not knowing how. But it was just hard to get through. Quite annoying style as well.

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What's this? People talkin' smack about Hatchet and Island of the Blue Dolphins? Those were two of the best books I ever got assigned! They made me want to read ahead... a lot!

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Clearly, you have never been assigned Catcher in the Rye or Roll of Thunder Hear My Cry

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Teh Hatchet is teh awesome, even the sequels. And the not-so-sequels.

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I never even read Hatchet, we read it in 4th grade, it was the most boring book ever!
I remember in first grade we read The Lion, the Waitch, and the Wardrobe, which I saw the movie trailer for, it looks pretty good for something made by Disney.
I hate my current lit class, the fun class gets to read Go Ask Alice, we're reading stupid short stories about quilts and monkey's paws.
So I really need to just go back to 1st grade.

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Can I not get stuck playing bass this time?

Hatchet didn't do much for me...actually, I can barely remember how it went. It was probably similar to My Side of the Mountain, which was similiar to...um...other books of the same "lookies, I can live in the woods and not die!" plot sort of which none of the names I can remember. Anyway, yeah, I guess I didn't like it.
Furthermore, they said it was something like "Dolphin Island", which may or not be "Island of the Blue Dolphins" ...but that O'Dell book is the sort you'd get assigned...in fact, I got assinged (yes, assinged) it oncet, but can't remember much, except it was about a girl. On an island. With dolphins. So it musta not did much for me either.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not that forgetful...I can remember lots of things from books I've been assigned, like The Giver, The Elephant Man, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, etcetuary. But...if a book doesn't thrill me, it don't thrill me at all.
And Edgar Allan Poe! W00tage! I like his poems as well as his stories, but, I'm the sort of person who likes poems. But you know whose poems I don't like? "I hate you, Walt freakin' Whitman!" XD That "Song of Myself" of his is waaaaay too long. As dear Eddy-gar said, "A long poem is..." um...self-contradictory, or something. 'Cause poems are meant to be enjoyed, not trudged through. Oooh! Y'know who's poems rock? e e cummings. "anyone lived in a pretty how town..." I guess I gotta get me a book of his works sometime.
Um. Anyways. What about books that librarians and teachers read to you in like, elementary school? Can we submit our thoughts on those?

Emily had to read that book. She did a hilarious impression of it.

"And then he thought, 'I must eat with my right hand, so it does not get tired.'. So he cut up the tuna. Then he put the tuna in his mouth. Then he chewed the tuna. Then he swallowed the tuna. And then he DIGESTED the tuna! Then he thought, 'Now I must eat with my left hand, so IT does not get tired.'. So he cut up the tuna. Then he put the tuna in his mouth. Then he chewed the tuna. Then he swallowed the tuna. And then he DIGESTED the tuna..."

Personally, I LOVE Poe's poetry (The Raven pwns j00). As for his short stories, we just read The Tell-Tale Heart in class. It's really good. I read it before bed once, which was very stupid of me.

The Secret Garden was prooty good. It was assigned in 3rd grade. We also read The Phantom Tollbooth that year--it's a great book.

Has anyone here had to read Skellig? I never finished that one. I just couldn't get into it.

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Aw man, come on people. I sorta liked the old man and the sea. that type of writing is called stream of consciousness, isn't it? Really lets you get into the character. Now that I think of it, it was very depressing that the fish got eaten after he spent the whole book trying to haul it in. I'd think you would just let the rope go and try to catch a fish that isn't bigger than your boat.

Anyway, some of the worst reading I've done in class was my 11th grade english class when we read "Silas mariner" AND "Ethan Frome." Both very old, slow books where nothing really happens and you spend most of the book wishing the characters had never been born. The All Time Worst Assigned REading ever was the next year with that same teacher, in a class on American lit. Runners up include the story about a cowboy and a sweedish dude who go to a hotel in a blizzard; the sweed gets in a fight and beats up the manager's son, then heads into town, randomly starts a bar fight, and gets a knife in his belly. Also the one about the lazy mexican who gets drunk and kills a guy with a knife. The rest of the story is about him running away from people through the desert, until he finally gives up, stands up so they can see him, and gets shot. The all-time worst was "Bartleby the Scriviner". Some guy has an office of some kind, and this Bartleby shows up and starts working there. AFter a while he decides to stop working but wont leave the office, he just lives there and never goes out, and doesn't do any work. So the guy sells the office, and the new owners call the police and take Bartleby to jail, where he lays down and dies.

I think there's something wrong with my english teacher.

Hey Zephyr, I like your location. I'm right there with you man.

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"CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR AWESOME!!!!"

- Unknown

Hatchet wasn't that bad. It wasn't great, but it wasn't bad.

Let me oversimplfy all of this : If it's an assigned reading, then it's going to suck.

I had to read The Penguin History of The United States for my History 106 class last year. It was really long and talked about Daniel Boones nickname for a little to long. The only plus was that it had Penguin in the title.

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Yay! Penguins!

...and what WAS Daniel Boone's nickname?

Widemouth. It was giving to him by some sort of Indian Tribe. It was because he was very talkative.

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school ruined Frankenstein for me. it's probably a really good book- but- yuck... school..

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Gack. I hated that book. It really dragged on for me.

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There were a whole bunch of books that I had to read in high school that, while I was reading them, I thought they were horrible. But, after finishing them, I thought, "That was really good". Then I went on to read them over again for pleasure. Some examples: Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad, Fifth Business by Robertson Davies, The Stone Angel by Margaret Laurence, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, and that's about all I can think of right now.

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I agree. The only fun I had with that book was joking with my friends about how the guy who got lynched actually escaped the book and took over the author to become a supreme being. He was fun to draw.

Number the stars: A holcaust survival story. The only redeeming factor was talking about pink frosted cupcakes. yum.

Letters from Rifka: I just really hate holocaust survival stories. The format didn't appeal to me either.

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You're wrong about Number the Stars. That was a freakin' excellent book.

I don't think I've ever disliked any assigned book, except Pauvre Anne.

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I had to read Adam of the Road last year. It was the most boring frikin' book ever! And even worse, it was 350 pages. Ugh...

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There is really only one I can remember.

Sarah, Plain and Tall. It was boring and dragged on too much.

That's about it.

You know what, that's actually not funny, seeing as 14-year-old black kids WOULD get hung during that time period, and that's exactly what happens in the next book --;; Great job turning one of the few moments I actually cried in a book to humor.

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Oh how I sympathize. I had to read that book in either 4th or 5th grade, and then I had to watch the movie. The movie was worse than the book.

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I read that over the summer (it was assigned for my new school). Really not all that bad. Number the Stars wasn't bad, either.

And Rifka wasn't a Holocaust survival story per se. It took place in 1919 and 1920.

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Did you read Diary of Anne frank? If not get ready for a book that sucks 10 times more then number the stars.

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Oi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oi! Hangs on now, Establishment Dans! Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry and Number the Stars are--- whdjg-- I mean, maybe they're a little too deep for you, maybe, but they certainly don't suck!

And I agree with Darthman. If you don't like Holocaust stories then you should definitely NOT read anything ever having to do with Anne Frank. Or see any movies. Or plays. Or even that webcomic about her and the Moon Nazis.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go...kick some puppies. Or something. Destroy mankind. Whatever.

Completely off-topic:
This reminds me of that one time I told this one history teacher about how every year in New Mexico peoples do a sort of walky in memory of the Bataan Death March, and he asked, "Why would they do that? I mean, who'd want to remember something so unpleasant?" What I should've said was, "Oh, I dunno. Why do they have those big depressing war memorials around D.C.?" But, me not having yet developed a scathing wit, I instead just sort of screamed and cried at him, thus reinforcing my reputation at school for being some sort of psycho weirdo. or perhaps weirdo psycho. Anyways, Toastpaint, and you should know better than to read anything in size one font.