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So, for English class, I have to write a 15,000 word essay about a book that I read a third of.

So, for English class, I have to write a 15,000 word essay about a book that I read a third of.

The lulziest thing happened today. So, apparently, a "suspicious man" was seen at a neighboring school called St. James. Every school within like, a 20 mile radius was on lockdown. So later I talked to my friend who goes to that school, and guess what actually happened...

SOME THIRD GRADERS AT GYM SAW A KID WITH DOWN SYNDROME STARING AT THEM FROM THE BUSHES. JESUS EFFIN CHRIST.

By my calculations, that's about 40 pages! Are you sure that's not supposed to be 1,500?

Thats very Edgy of you Cheatachu.

I remember having to write a 30 some odd page paper. About half of the pages just repeated "You aren't really reading this, are you?" I got an A on the paper.

I remember having to write a 30 some odd page paper. About half of the pages just repeated "You aren't really reading this, are you?" I got an A on the paper.

If i ever have to do that I will be a failure at life.

I'm doing that. Oh, and on the last page, Well-Thought Out English Paper Will be Included!!!

In case you don't know, that means that someone's in the building with a gun, so everyone hides in a classroom, remains quiet, and doesn't open the door under any circumstances, and wait for the swat team to put a few shells in his head.

Anyways.

So, I was in the bathroom, going to the bathroom, when I hear alot of far-off screams. I think nothing of it, since everyone at my school is a spaz. I leave the bathroom a few minutes later, and start going to my next class. The bell rings, meaning I'm late.

I hurry up and run there. The door to my class is locked. I knock, but no one lets me in. I knock for a bit longer and I notice no one else is in the hall. It's completely empty, which is extremely creepy.

Just then, the PA announces that the school is in "Full Lockdown".

Here I am, standing in the middle of an empty hallway. There's probbly a gun-wielding maniac running around. Everyone else is in the rooms, and refuse to let me in. Yeah, I'm pretty scared.

I abandoned my stuff in an empty locker and look for a place to hide. I Start going to the Drama Theater, since it has a large, dark basement with lots of junk lying around. Perfect for hiding, or barricading the doors if needed. As well, it has a door leading the the trapdoor on stage, good for escapes.

I make my way there, crouch-walking and such. Then a door near me opened up. A kid peaked out and said rather loudly "Hey, who's out there?". I wave at him and run into the room and quietly close the door behind me. He says he thought he "Heard somebody so he decided to check it out".

Now, sure it was fortunate he let me into a nice, locked room, but realize this: He thought he heard somebody out in the hall, so he decided to see who it was, while some Spaz with a gun is running around the school. On recollection, I should have not let him see me and continued to the Theater.

Now, I'm "Safe" in a locked room with a group of my peers. I take a seat on the floor and try to lower my heart rate. Meanwhile, 3 kids go to the class computer and log onto myspace so that they can check their messages. Morons.

I just pull the power plug out of the computer. Then they get all pissy at me, and start saying such stupidities like "Hey, why do you have to be like that man? Not cool"

I whisper at them angrily "What is wrong with you people? There's probbly someone in the school looking for a class full of kids to kill, and you're whining on myspace?"

2 of of them see my point and shut up. One of them Says extremely loudly "...WHAT THE **** DO YOU MEAN BY "YOU PEOPLE"?!?". The other two grab him and make him close his mouth right away though.

Rolling Eyes

Anyways, we sit there in complete silence for about 2 hours. Then some other genius pulls out his guitar and starts playing. Some other kid grabs it from him. Guitar Failure decides to try and wrestle it back, everyone else detains him and covers his mouth. He starts spazzing and tries to fight everyone.

Fortunately for us, just then the PA announced the Lockdown was over, and we could return to our classes. Which didn't last long because it was time to go home anyways.

...So here I am, typing on the internet, very mad off that some people would risk their and many other people's lives to investigate small noises, visit emoland, or play Failout Boy Covers.

P.S: It turns out that This whole thing was caused when some failure set off a giant pack of fire crackers, which sounded like machinegun fire, causing everyone in the general are to go into a sheer, mobish panic.

I'm doing that. Oh, and on the last page, Well-Thought Out English Paper Will be Included!!!

Last year, I turned in the Well Thought Out English paper into the homework basket in my English class. The teacher read it out loud and showed the whole class the diagram on the document camera.

I wouldn't put it on the last page. Bury it in the middle of the assignment. Most teachers will read the beginning and end of a paper.

My webmastering teacher told us that all he ever did was write a really good first page, and a really good conclusion, and all of the middle was that "Lorem Ipsum" thing.

Don't go to college then.

Even more fun are opaque projectors, but you rarely see those anymore, having been replaced by said document cameras.

Wow. Two bonehead things my school did today.

First, my English teacher puts blue tape around her desk and doesn't let anyone cross it no matter what. She does it because she's afraid that something will be stolen.

And since my science teacher retired in the middle of the week earlier this month, we have a 3rd straight sub this week. This idiot lady decides to show "An Inconvenient Truth" that documentary about Al Gore's presentation on global warming. I didn't agree with any of what Gore was saying, so I laughed at the movie. I got in trouble for it.

For me, it's the other way around.

I remember having to write a 30 some odd page paper. About half of the pages just repeated "You aren't really reading this, are you?" I got an A on the paper.

That is all kinds of awesome. I stuck "Hitler was a man with a plan! He got things done and he GOT RESULTS! Had it not been for "The man" trying to "Hold him down" He would have eradicated all the Jews and set the world straight! " into my World War 2 essay and I'm gonna see if my teacher notices haha. C:

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*The Homestar Runner Wiki, it's forum, and probably (but not necessarily) the Fanstuff wiki do not condone this essay, and are not responsible for any meetings to a counselor that may result of said essay.