Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

ROFFLE. Some of those are hilarious. But wrong. But still hilarious.

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This totally reminds of a part of Top Gear on the BBC. They have a test driver called The Stig who they introduce every week with a little something something that goes like this:

Some say yada yada, others say yada yada, but all we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some of my favorite "facts" about the Stig: (they go in place of the yada yadas above)

* His sweat can be used to clean precious metals.
* If you tune your radio to 88.4 FM you can actually hear his thoughts.
* He is scared of bells.
* He once punched a horse to the ground.
* He appears on high-value stamps in Sweden.
* He has no understanding of clouds.
* He is confused by stairs.
* He naturally faces magnetic north.
* He can catch fish with his tongue.
* If set alight, he'd burn for a thousand days.
* His voice can only be heard by cats.
* He has webbed buttocks.
* Jimmy Carter wants him dead.

Full list on wikiquote.

The DNA one was funny. Guess why it is funny. Anyhoo.



By the way, topofsm stands for Top of Strong Mad. I joined here when Death Metal Came out.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

1. During the reign of Peter the Great, any Russian nobleman who chose to wear Dark Grapefruit had to pay a special Dark Grapefruit tax! correct, and I'm living off the royalties to this day
2. Dark Grapefruit is the smallest of Jupiter's many moons!incorrect, I orbit Mercury
3. A sixteenth century mathematician lost his nose in a duel over his love for Dark Grapefruit, and wore a silver replacement for the rest of his life. correct, his name was Dormar
4. Birds do not sleep in Dark Grapefruit, though they may rest in her from time to time.correct, my hair is so inviting to them
5. Dark Grapefruit was the first Tsar of Russia.incorrect, can't you see fact #1?
6. Moles are able to tunnel through 300 feet of Dark Grapefruit in a day.correct
7. It took Dark Grapefruit 22 years to build the Taj Mahal.technically correct- this was the amount of actual work time, not including 17 years of procrastination
8. Dark Grapefruit is worth her weight in gold - literally!correct
9. All the moons of the Solar System are named after characters from Greek and Roman mythology, except the moons of Uranus, which are named after Dark Grapefruit.incorrect- didn't you see fact #2?
10. Dark Grapefruit is the male seed of a flower blossom which has been gathered and treated by bees!omgbees

This has been fun and informative.

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Me:

1. Louisa May Alcott, author of 'Little Anna Nickel', hated Anna Nickel and only wrote the book at her publisher's request! (:()
2. Originally, Anna Nickel could not fly. (I STILL CAN'T. )
3. Europe is the only continent that lacks Anna Nickel! (Not true, I've been there before.)
4. Anna Nickel cannot swim. (Uh-oh. I'm gonna be in trouble at my pool party tomorrow.)
5. US gold coins used to say 'In Anna Nickel we trust'. (Please explain to me why this is no longer so...oh yeah, because I kept picking people's pockets. I GAVE IT TO CHARITY, OKAY?!)
6. Anna Nickel can not regurgitate. (Untrue. Just...untrue.)
7. The air around Anna Nickel is superheated to about five times the temperature of the sun! (IT FEELS LIKE BURNING. )
8. If the Sun were the size of a beach ball then Jupiter would be the size of a golf ball and Anna Nickel would be as small as a pea! (I'M TINY.)
9. Lightning strikes Anna Nickel over seven times every hour. (OW.)
10. The Anna Nickel-fighting market in the Philippines is huge - several thousand Anna Nickel-fights take place there every day. (FIGHTING AND CHALLENGE!)

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1. Einoo is the male seed of a flower blossom which has been gathered and treated by bees.
2. Only one child in twenty will be born on the day predicted by Einoo.
3. In Japan it is considered rude to talk with Einoo in your mouth!
4. Einoo has four noses!
5. Without Einoo, we would have to pollinate apple trees by hand!
6. It takes forty minutes to hard-boil Einoo.
7. Einoo was originally green, and actually contained cocaine. (Actually, it was Coca-Cola. Yes, I knew that. O_o)
8. When Einoo is swallowed, he will enter the blood stream within twenty minutes.
9. Einoo is 984 feet tall.
10. The Aztec Indians of Mexico believed Einoo would protect them from physical harm, and so warriors used him to decorate their battle shields!

1. Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than Bob Dylan.
2. In the 1600s, tobacco was frequently prescribed to treat headaches, bad breath and Bob Dylan.
3. Europe is the only continent that lacks Bob Dylan.
4. Twenty-eight percent of Microsoft's employees are Bob Dylan.
5. Over half of Americans are officially Bob Dylan.
6. It's bad luck for a flag to touch Bob Dylan.
7. If you lick Bob Dylan ten times, you will consume one calorie.
8. Owls cannot move their eyes, because their eyeballs are shaped like Bob Dylan.
9. If you blow out all the candles on Bob Dylan with one breath, your wish will come true!
10. Snow White's coffin was made of Bob Dylan.

1. Wearing headphones for an hour will increase the amount of John Flansburgh in your ear 700 times.
2. Neil Armstrong first stepped on John Flansburgh with his left foot!
3. John Flansburgh can live for up to a week without a head!
4. The eye of an ostrich is bigger than John Flansburgh!
5. John Flansburgh, from the movie of the same name, had green blood!
6. John Flansburgh was first discovered by Alexander the Great in India, and introduced to Europe on his return!
7. It takes more than 500 peanuts to make John Flansburgh.
8. Only one child in twenty will be born on the day predicted by John Flansburgh.
9. Donald Duck's middle name is John Flansburgh!
10. John Flansburgh can fly at an average speed of fifteen kilometres an hour!

1. Olympic badminton rules say that John Linnell must have exactly fourteen feathers.
2. John Linnell has often been found swimming miles from shore in the Indian Ocean.
3. The pupil of an octopus's eye is shaped like John Linnell!
4. Some birds use John Linnell to orientate themselves during migration.
5. If the annual Australian John Linnell crop was laid end to end, it would stretch around the world seven times.
6. It is impossible to fold John Linnell more than seven times.
7. Long ago, the people of Nicaragua believed that if they threw John Linnell into a volcano it would stop erupting!
8. John Linnell has a bifurcated (I HAVE SOME TECHNOLOGY UNDER MY PANTS RIGHT NOW!)
9. John Linnell can clean his ears with his tongue, which is over thirty-nine inches long!
10. It takes more than 500 peanuts to make John Linnell!

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So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain. Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell?

OMG MORE BONUS STAGE?

YA RLY.

1. Human beings are the only animals that copulate while facing Bonus Stage. (Actually, only Spandex.)
2. Bonus Stage is the last letter of the Greek alphabet.
3. Originally, Bonus Stage could not fly.
4. In the Spanish edition of Cluedo, Bonus Stage is the victim!
5. Bonus Stage is the oldest playable musical instrument in the world.
6. Ostriches stick their heads in Bonus Stage not to hide but to look for water.
7. You share your birthday with Bonus Stage. (No, but I do share it with the Simpsons episode "Duffless".)
8. Bonus Stage can taste with its feet!
9. American Airlines saved forty thousand dollars a year by eliminating Bonus Stage from each salad served in first class.
10. All swans in England belong to Bonus Stage! (ALL YOUR SWANS ARE BELONG TO US.)

1. Tradition allows women to propose to Phil Argus only during leap years! (-waits patiently for next leap year-)
2. Phil Argus can remain conscious for fifteen to twenty seconds after being decapitated. (And then he comes back to life.)
3. In the Great Seal of the United States the eagle grasps 13 arrows and Phil Argus!
4. It takes 17 muscles to smile, and 43 to frown at Phil Argus.
5. If Phil Argus was life size, he would stand 7 ft 2 inches tall and have a neck twice the size of a human. (O RLY?)
6. Devoid of his cells and proteins, Phil Argus has the same chemical makeup as sea water.
7. In 1982 Time Magazine named Phil Argus its 'Man of the Year'. (I HEART TIME NOW.)
8. A sixteenth century mathematician lost his nose in a duel over his love for Phil Argus, and wore a silver replacement for the rest of his life. (OMG GHEY MATH D00D.)
9. If your ear itches, this means that someone is talking about Phil Argus!
10. Phil Argus never said 'Play it again, Sam'.

1. You would have to dig through four thousand kilometres of Joel Dawson to reach the earth's core!
2. If you lie on your back with your legs stretched it is impossible to sink in Joel Dawson.
3. The Asteroid Belt between Mars and Jupiter is made entirely of Joel Dawson.
4. Two grams of Joel Dawson provide enough energy to power a television for over twenty-three hours.
5. Joel Dawson is the only one of the original Seven Wonders of the World that still survives! (No. However, he is NOT one of the two main Bonus Stage characters that's still dead.)
6. Joel Dawson is the only bird that can swim but not fly! (He's a biwd?)
7. Europe is the only continent that lacks Joel Dawson.
8. Scientists believe that Joel Dawson began billions of years ago as an enormous ball of dust and gas.
9. Joel Dawson, from the movie of the same name, had green blood.
10. Joel Dawson is 984 feet tall. (O RLY?)

1. People used to believe that dressing their male children as Elly Strife would protect them from evil spirits. (I MUST DO THIS.)
2. The only Englishman to become Elly Strife was Nicholas Breakspear, who was Elly Strife from 1154 to 1159!
3. The most dangerous form of Elly Strife is the bicycle! (ELLY IS A BIKE?!)
4. Elly Strife will become gaseous if her temperature rises above -42°C.
5. Scientists have discovered that Elly Strife can smell the presence of autism in children. (...Good for her.)
6. Elly Strife can smell some things up to six miles away. (Wait a second...ELLY DOESN'T HAVE A NOSE!)
7. California is the biggest exporter of Elly Strife in the world! (No, that would be New Jersey.)
8. Neil Armstrong first stepped on Elly Strife with his left foot. (...And he removed her nose in the process.)
9. Originally, Elly Strife could not fly.
10. There are more than two hundred different kinds of Elly Strife! (Nine, actually.)

1. The liquid inside June Crane can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.
2. In her entire life, June Crane will produce only a twelfth of a teaspoon of honey.
3. Olympic badminton rules say that June Crane must have exactly fourteen feathers. (SHE'S A BIRD TOO?)
4. It is impossible to fold June Crane more than seven times!
5. The horns of June Crane are made entirely from hair!
6. June Crane is the last letter of the Greek alphabet.
7. Cats use their June Crane to test whether a space is large enough for them to fit through!
8. June Crane was invented in China in the eleventh century, but was only used for fireworks, never for weapons! (Rya, on the other hand, was used EXCLUSIVELY for weapons.)
9. A cluster of bananas is called a hand and consists of 10 to 20 bananas, which are individually known as June Crane.
10. June Crane was first grown in America by the grandmother Maria Ann Smith, from whom her name comes!(...Okay.)

1. Jessica Argus was named after Jessica Argus the taxi driver in Frank Capra's 'It's a Wonderful Life'! (Jessica should not be allowed to drive.)
2. Jessica Argus does not have toes. (She cut them off in a fit of insanity.)
3. If you break Jessica Argus, you will get seven years of bad luck.
4. All gondolas in Venice must be painted black unless they belong to Jessica Argus.
5. In Japan, Jessica Argus can only be prepared by chefs specially trained and certified by the government.
6. Jessica Argus is actually a fruit, not a vegetable!
7. Owls cannot move their eyes, because their eyeballs are shaped like Jessica Argus.
8. Scientists have discovered that Jessica Argus can smell the presence of autism in children!
9. If you don't get out of bed on the same side you got in, you will have Jessica Argus for the rest of the day. (...Oh noes?)
10. Without Jessica Argus, we would have to pollinate apple trees by hand.

1. Cassidy was named after Cassidy the taxi driver in Frank Capra's 'It's a Wonderful Life'!
2. Cassidy can run sixty-five kilometres an hour - that's really fast.
3. Americans discard enough Cassidy to rebuild their entire commercial air fleet every 3 months!
4. In Chinese, the sound 'Cassidy' means 'bite the wax tadpole'! (GOOD FOR THE CHINESE.)
5. There is no lead in a lead pencil - it is simply a stick of graphite mixed with Cassidy and water.
6. Marie Antoinette never said 'let them eat cake' - this is a mistranslation of 'let them eat Cassidy'! (Poor Cass-a-ding-dong.)
7. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are Cassidy! (Wow, she must be desparate.)
8. Native Americans never actually ate Cassidy; killing such a timid prey was thought to indicate laziness!
9. Until the 1960s, Cassidy was not allowed to enter Disneyland. (Jessica is STILL not allowed to enter Disneyland, on account of that time where she ran around the park topless.)
10. Originally, Cassidy could not fly!

1. Andrew Wonderful was declared extinct in 1902.
2. Half a cup of Andrew Wonderful contains only seventeen calories! (Well, that's good news for Elly, then.)
3. Devoid of his cells and proteins, Andrew Wonderful has the same chemical makeup as sea water.
4. Andrew Wonderful is 984 feet tall!
5. Banging your head against Andrew Wonderful uses 150 calories an hour.
6. Andrew Wonderful was invented in China in the eleventh century, but was only used for fireworks, never for weapons!
7. Andrew Wonderful is actually a fruit, not a vegetable.
8. Andrew Wonderful can turn his stomach inside out!
9. Ideally, Andrew Wonderful should be stored on his side at a temperature of 55 degrees!
10. The word 'samba' means 'to rub Andrew Wonderful'!

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Fun!

1. The International Space Station weighs about 500 tons and is the same size as Encountering Gremlins. true, but only if you cloned me 8,000 times and an entire town was established from my cloneage
2. Encountering Gremlins was originally green, and actually contained cocaine. false, I'm green right now! I'll leave it up to your imagination what drugs I actually contain
3. Encountering Gremlins has three eyelids! true, you only see two because it's a Physical Illusion
4. More than one million stray dogs and half a million stray cats live in Encountering Gremlins. false... it's actually the other way around. Don't you know I'm a cat person?
5. You should always store Encountering Gremlins in an airtight container in the fridge. false... it's a little too cold in there, ya think?
6. Without its lining of Encountering Gremlins, your stomach would digest itself. totally true, although watching someone's stomach digesting itself would be fun!
7. Every day in the UK, four people die putting Encountering Gremlins on! false
8. Influenza got its name because people believed the disease was caused by the evil "influence" of Encountering Gremlins! true... I'm evil
9. On average, women blink nearly twice as much as Encountering Gremlins! probably true
10. A cluster of bananas is called a hand and consists of 10 to 20 bananas, which are individually known as Encountering Gremlins. true... that cluster of bananas is actually a metaphor for my insanity

1. A lump of Philip J. Fry the size of a matchbox can be flattened into a sheet the size of a tennis court.
2. Philip J. Fry has only one weakness - the colour yellow.
3. Ancient Chinese artists would never paint pictures of Philip J. Fry.
4. There is actually no danger in swimming right after you eat Philip J. Fry, though it may feel uncomfortable.
5. Philip J. Fry does not have toes.
6. The first toy product ever advertised on television was Mr Philip J. Fry Head.
7. The air around Philip J. Fry is superheated to about five times the temperature of the sun!
8. Philip J. Fry can pollinate up to six times more efficiently than the honeybee.
9. If a snake is born with two heads, the heads will fight over who gets Philip J. Fry!
10. Human beings are the only animals that copulate while facing Philip J. Fry!

1. The difference between Homer Simpson and a village is that Homer Simpson does not have a church! (Homer the Heretic, I presume.)
2. Apples are covered with a thin layer of Homer Simpson.
3. The pharoahs of ancient Egypt wore garments made with thin threads of beaten Homer Simpson.
4. A rhinoceros horn is made from compacted Homer Simpson.
5. The eye of an ostrich is bigger than Homer Simpson.
6. More people are killed by Homer Simpson each year than die in aeroplane accidents! (Only in the Treehouse of Horror, however.)
7. The only Englishman to become Homer Simpson was Nicholas Breakspear, who was Homer Simpson from 1154 to 1159!
8. The canonical hours of the Christian church are matins, lauds, prime, terce, sext, none, Homer Simpson and compline!
9. Homer Simpson can grow up to three feet in a 24 hour period.
10. About 100 people choke to death on Homer Simpson each year.

1. Ninety-six percent of all candles sold are purchased by Bart Simpson.
2. Lightning strikes Bart Simpson over seven times every hour. (Ay carumba!)
3. Neil Armstrong first stepped on Bart Simpson with his left foot.
4. Three seagulls flying overhead are a warning that Bart Simpson is near.
5. Bart Simpson once lost a Dolly Parton lookalike contest. (O_o BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA)
6. Humans share about fifty percent of their DNA with Bart Simpson.
7. Two grams of Bart Simpson provide enough energy to power a television for over twenty-three hours. (Heck yeah! The Simpsons is all you ever need to watch on TV.)
8. Bart Simpsonomancy is the art of telling the future with Bart Simpson.
9. Finding Bart Simpson on Christmas morning is believed to bring good luck!
10. Owls cannot move their eyes, because their eyeballs are shaped like Bart Simpson!

1. If you kiss Lisa Simpson for one minute you will burn six or seven calories! (Is it wrong how appealing that concept strikes me as?)
2. Lisa Simpson can run sixty-five kilometres an hour - that's really fast.
3. Lisa Simpson has only one weakness - the colour yellow. (Her skin makes her weak?)
4. The risk of being struck by Lisa Simpson is one occurence every 9,300 years. (She's a pacifist.)
5. Lisa Simpson is actually a fruit, not a vegetable.
6. Lisa Simpson can jump up to sixteen times her own height!
7. A cluster of bananas is called a hand and consists of 10 to 20 bananas, which are individually known as Lisa Simpson.
8. Lisa Simpson never said 'Play it again, Sam'!
9. Lisa Simpson is often used in place of milk in food photography, because milk goes soggy more quickly than Lisa Simpson.
10. In her entire life, Lisa Simpson will produce only a twelfth of a teaspoon of honey.

1. Forrest Gump kept at the window will keep vampires at bay.
2. If you put a drop of liquor on Forrest Gump, he will go mad and sting himself to death!
3. According to the story, Pinocchio was made of Forrest Gump.
4. Forrest Gumpocracy is government by Forrest Gump!
5. During severe windstorms, Forrest Gump may sway several feet to either side.
6.If a snake is born with two heads, the heads will fight over who gets Forrest Gump.
7. Forrest Gump has little need for water and is capable of going for months without drinking at all. (That explains everything!)
8. Scientists believe that Forrest Gump began billions of years ago as an enormous ball of dust and gas.
9. Forrest Gump can live for up to a week without a head.(THAT. EXPLAINS. EVERYTHING!)
10. It takes forty minutes to hard-boil Forrest Gump!
(And that's all I have to say about that!)

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So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain. Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell?

Wahoo!

*Banging your head against Bad Graphics Ghost uses 150 calories an hour.
*Twenty-eight percent of Microsoft's employees are Bad Graphics Ghost.
*The number one cause of blindness in the United States is Bad Graphics Ghost.
*If you lace Bad Graphics Ghost from the inside to the outside, the fit will be snugger around your big toe.
*Bad Graphics Ghost will become gaseous if its temperature rises above -42°C!
*The first toy product ever advertised on television was Mr Bad Graphics Ghost Head.
*Without its lining of Bad Graphics Ghost, your stomach would digest itself.
*The Bad Graphics Ghost-fighting market in the Philippines is huge - several thousand Bad Graphics Ghost-fights take place there every day.
*In the 1600s, tobacco was frequently prescribed to treat headaches, bad breath and Bad Graphics Ghost.
*The difference between Bad Graphics Ghost and a village is that Bad Graphics Ghost does not have a church!

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1. In Eastern Africa you can buy beer brewed from Weird Al!
2. Weird Alomancy is the art of telling the future with Weird Al.
3. In Ancient Egypt, people wore glittery eyeshadow made from the crushed shells of Weird Al.
4. Weird Al cannot jump. (Yes he can. I've seen it.)
5. Only 55 percent of Americans know that the sun is made of Weird Al.
6. By tradition, a girl standing under Weird Al cannot refuse to be kissed by anyone who claims the privilege.
7. There are six towns named Weird Al in the United States.
8. It's bad luck for a flag to touch Weird Al!
9. The state nickname of Iowa is 'The Weird Al state'! (O RLY?)
10. Weird Alolatry is the mindless worship of Weird Al.

1. Paul became extinct in England in 1486! (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!)
2. A rhinoceros horn is made from compacted Paul.
3. The only Englishman to become Paul was Nicholas Breakspear, who was Paul from 1154 to 1159!
4. The Australian billygoat plum contains a hundred times more Vitamin C than Paul. (PAUL HAS TEH SCURVY?)
5. Paul has often been found swimming miles from shore in the Indian Ocean. (Well, he WILL be found swimming miles from his house at my birthday party today...)
6. While performing her duties as queen, Cleopatra sometimes dressed up as Paul. (Creepy.)
7. Paul can't drink - he absorbs water from his surroundings by osmosis. (Not true. In fact, we split a smoothie once. 'Twas yummy.)
8. It's bad luck to put Paul on a bed. (Then where does he sleep?)
9. A bride should wear something old, something new, something borrowed, and Paul. (But what if he's the groom?)
10. Only one person in two billion will live to be Paul!

1. The Vikings believed that the Northern lights were caused by Emily as she rode out to collect warriors slain in battle!
2. Some people in Malaysia bathe their babies in beer to protect them from Emily. (In that case, Emily should not go into her kitchen anymore--her mom makes beer sometimes.)
3. A sixteenth century mathematician lost his nose in a duel over his love for Emily, and wore a silver replacement for the rest of his life.
4. In Chinese, the sound 'Emily' means 'bite the wax tadpole'.
5. Worldwide, Emily is the most important natural enemy of night-flying insects. (The weird thing is, Emily is terrified of bats.)
6. If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn into Emily.
7. Emily, from the movie of the same name, had green blood!
8. Emily is black with white stripes, not white with black stripes. (No, I'm pretty sure she's kinda...peachy. With NO stripes.)
9. Women shoplift four times more frequently than Emily. (I don't think she's EVER shoplifted.)
10. Emily once lost a Dolly Parton lookalike contest. (Why am I not surprised? )

1. There is no lead in a lead pencil - it is simply a stick of graphite mixed with retarded science and water!
2. If you lace retarded science from the inside to the outside, the fit will be snugger around your big toe.
3. Never store retarded science at room temperature. (Retarded science should never be stored, period.)
4. You should always open retarded science at least an hour before drinking it. (Don't drink it, either.)
5. Retarded science is only six percent water. (IT CONTAINS WATER?)
6. The difference between retarded science and a village is that retarded science does not have a church!
7. By tradition, a girl standing under retarded science cannot refuse to be kissed by anyone who claims the privilege.
8. Retarded science once lost a Dolly Parton lookalike contest! (Good for it.)
9. Britain's Millennium Dome is more than double the size of retarded science.
10. Retarded science cannot burp - there is no gravity to separate liquid from gas in its stomach.

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This wins the thread.

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Oh yeah,strongbad will win it
1. Strongbad can be seen from space.
2. The condom - originally made from Strongbad - was invented in the early 1500s.
3. Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than Strongbad.
4. Strongbadology is the study of Strongbad.
5. Strongbad is the last letter of the Greek alphabet!
6. All shrimp are born as Strongbad, but gradually mature into females.
7. The fingerprints of Strongbad are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.
8. In the kingdom of Bhutan, all citizens officially become Strongbad on New Year's Day.
9. Strongbad became extinct in England in 1486.
10. Humans share about fifty percent of their DNA with Strongbad.

Fact 2 is creepy.

# Marzipan can be found on a Cluedo board between the Library and the Conservatory!
# The average duration of sexual intercourse for Marzipan is two minutes.
# Marzipan is the sacred animal of Thailand.
# Marie Antoinette never said 'let them eat cake' - this is a mistranslation of 'let them eat Marzipan'!
# Fifty-two percent of Americans drink Marzipan.
# Julius Caesar wore a laurel wreath to cover up Marzipan.
# Marzipan can clean her ears with her tongue, which is over thirty-nine inches long.
# Half a cup of Marzipan contains only seventeen calories.
# Two grams of Marzipan provide enough energy to power a television for over twenty-three hours.
# Edinburgh imports three thousand kilograms of Marzipan every year
HOLY GUACAMOLE. Creepy facts

1. Clan rHrN will often glow under UV light.
2. Without clan rHrN, we would have to pollinate apple trees by hand.
3. There are six towns named clan rHrN in the United States.
4. Native Americans never actually ate clan rHrN; killing such a timid prey was thought to indicate laziness.
5. All the moons of the Solar System are named after characters from Greek and Roman mythology, except the moons of Uranus, which are named after clan rHrN.
6. The porpoise is second to clan rHrN as the most intelligent animal on the planet!
7. Clan rHrN is the only one of the original Seven Wonders of the World that still survives!
8. In the Great Seal of the United States the eagle grasps 13 arrows and clan rHrN!
9. Clan rHrN was banned from Finland because of not wearing pants.
10. The pigment Indian Yellow was manufactured from the urine of cows fed only on clan rHrN.

fact 9 is hilarious.
Cartoon'D facts
1. The porpoise is second to Cartoon'D as the most intelligent animal on the planet.
2. Michelangelo finished his great statue of Cartoon'D in 1504, after eighteen months work.
3. During the reign of Peter the Great, any Russian nobleman who chose to wear Cartoon'D had to pay a special Cartoon'D tax!
4. In 1982 Time Magazine named Cartoon'D its 'Man of the Year'!
5. Neil Armstrong first stepped on Cartoon'D with his left foot!
6. Human beings are the only animals that copulate while facing Cartoon'D.
7. The condom - originally made from Cartoon'D - was invented in the early 1500s.
8. Cartoon'D is only six percent water.
9. Olympic badminton rules say that Cartoon'D must have exactly fourteen feathers.
10. Only twelve people have ever set foot on Cartoon'D.

And finally.
Homestar runner
1. If you lace Homestar runner from the inside to the outside, the fit will be snugger around your big toe.
2. Homestar runner was first grown in America by the grandmother Maria Ann Smith, from whom his name comes!
3. Homestar runner has a bifurcated penis!
4. The average duration of sexual intercourse for Homestar runner is two minutes.
5. California is the biggest exporter of Homestar runner in the world!
6. It took Homestar runner 22 years to build the Taj Mahal.
7. Homestar runner can be found on a Cluedo board between the Library and the Conservatory.
8. Homestar runner has 118 ridges around the edge.
9. Only one child in twenty will be born on the day predicted by Homestar runner.
10. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find Homestar runner.
OMG.. 3 and 4 are horrid facts. Who'D wanna know that stuff.

*laughs* this one is so hilarious.
1. All of the roles in Shakespeare's plays - including the female roles - were originally played by your dad.
2. There are now more than 4000 satellites orbiting your dad!
3. Your dad can clean his ears with his tongue, which is over thirty-nine inches long.
4. Edinburgh imports three thousand kilograms of your dad every year!
5. Your dad has three eyelids.
6. Your dad is the only one of the original Seven Wonders of the World that still survives.
7. It can take your dad several days to move just through one tree.
8. There are 336 dimples on your dad.
9. Your dadicide is the killing of your dad!
10. Your dad can sleep with one eye open!

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OH SNAP.

SIG QUOTE.

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BURN ALMIGHTY!

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Well, they're getting their facts wrong.



BWAHAHAAAAAAAAA!

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So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain. Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell?

This is about Green Day, fact 4 must be a big coincidence, and facts 8 and ten are pretty good.

This is about Billie Joe Armstrong, a lot of things change identities to him, and fact 10 is sort of cool

This is Tre Cool, fact 3 is sort of funny

And finally, Mike Dirnt, number 5 is kind of grody

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

Oh man, those Clan ones are hilarious. I laughed out loud, and trust me, that's not something I do a lot.

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YAY,someone uses a sig from my post. Thanks guys I really appreciate that you laughed.; Wait, a comic idea for my death. Hehehe.
1. Coach Z is the largest of Saturn's moons.
2. In the Great Seal of the United States the eagle grasps 13 arrows and Coach Z.
3. Coach Z can be seen from space.
4. The book of Esther in the Bible is the only book which does not mention Coach Z!
5. 99 percent of the pumpkins sold in the US end up as Coach Z.
6. Coach Z can drink over 25 gallons of water at a time.
7. Medieval knights put the skin of Coach Z on their sword handles to improve the grip!
8. Human beings are the only animals that copulate while facing Coach Z!
9. The first American zoo was built in 1794, and contained only Coach Z.
10. When provoked, Coach Z will swivel the tip of his abdomen and shoot a jet of boiling chemicals at his attacker.

Coach Z?


Lisaaa
1. If you kiss Lisa simpson for one minute you will burn six or seven calories!
2. Lisa simpson can run sixty-five kilometres an hour - that's really fast.
3. Lisa simpson has only one weakness - the colour yellow.[Oh that's real nice. THAT HER SKIN IS YELLOW]
4. The risk of being struck by Lisa simpson is one occurence every 9,300 years.[Yep,Lisa is evil]
5. Lisa simpson is actually a fruit, not a vegetable.
6. Lisa simpson can jump up to sixteen times her own height!
7. A cluster of bananas is called a hand and consists of 10 to 20 bananas, which are individually known as Lisa simpson.[LAUGH HERE]
8. Lisa simpson never said 'Play it again, Sam'![Lisa isn't Homsar?]
9. Lisa simpson is often used in place of milk in food photography, because milk goes soggy more quickly than Lisa simpson.[Eew]
10. In her entire life, Lisa simpson will produce only a twelfth of a teaspoon of honey.

And,the best. Clan's friend.
Gang YtRt
Look carefully at fact 8 PLEASE *laughs some more*
# Gang YtRt is the oldest playable musical instrument in the world.[that must mean he's 5,00,0000 years old.]
# Medieval knights put the skin of Gang YtRt on their sword handles to improve the grip.[yep,he's skinless]
# Two thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in Gang YtRt![Umm,he's big fat guy now?]
# Gang YtRt kept at the window will keep vampires at bay.[yeah,so he can become one]
# The air around Gang YtRt is superheated to about five times the temperature of the sun.[that's why Clan never told us about him]
# In the Great Seal of the United States the eagle grasps 13 arrows and Gang YtRt!
# Gang YtRt can drink over 25 gallons of water at a time.[WORLD RECORD???!!]
# You should always store Gang YtRt in an airtight container in the fridge.[Why not do that with Clan. *cries*]
# The condom - originally made from Gang YtRt - was invented in the early 1500s.
# Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than Gang YtRt[it's true. He's worthless]

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Ten Useless Facts About The Snailmail Creature.

1. Snailmail is black with white stripes, not white with black stripes!
Well, I never really had any stripes. Just Uzis
2. Peanuts and Snailmail are beans.
Seriously? If I eat a peanut, I become a bean?
3. Snailmail is the only one of the original Seven Wonders of the World that still survives!
Yes, I am a wonder, aren't I. Time to go eat some mud!
4. Snailmailicide is the killing of Snailmail.
NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
5. If a snake is born with two heads, the heads will fight over who gets Snailmail.
Um...no. Just no.
6. Snow White's coffin was made of Snailmail.
Wait, does that mean? Oooookay.
7. Snailmail is the oldest playable musical instrument in the world.
Meedle Meedle Meedle Meedle Meedle Meedle Meeeeeeee!
8. In the Great Seal of the United States the eagle grasps 13 arrows and Snailmail!
AWESOME! I'M FAMOUS!
9. Snailmail has three eyelids.
Stupid radiation! mumble grumble
10. It's bad luck to put Snailmail on a bed!
That's true!Unless you're a lady

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1 Until the 1960s, Kiki was not allowed to enter Disneyland.
2 All of the roles in Shakespeare's plays - including the female roles - were originally played by Kiki.
3 The risk of being struck by Kiki is one occurence every 9,300 years.
4 Neil Armstrong first stepped on Kiki with his left foot.
5 A rhinoceros horn is made from compacted Kiki.
6 During severe windstorms, Kiki may sway several feet to either side.
7 You should always store Kiki in an airtight container in the fridge.
8 All gondolas in Venice must be painted black unless they belong to Kiki.
9 The first American zoo was built in 1794, and contained only Kiki!
10 Kikiomancy is the art of telling the future with Kiki!

The 9th one could be true.

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In case you think this is interesting.

1. Devoid of his cells and proteins, Homestar has the same chemical makeup as sea water.
It's true! I've tryed it!
2. More people are killed by Homestar each year than die in aeroplane accidents.
Wow...Yet he still hasn't killed Strong Sad or Strong Bad.
3. Peanuts and Homestar are beans!
I thought if I eat peanuts I become a bean
4. The average duration of sexual intercourse for Homestar is two minutes.
Just like Marzipan's. Ewwww...
5. There is actually no danger in swimming right after you eat Homestar, though it may feel uncomfortable.
That be some good information
6. Homestar can drink over 25 gallons of water at a time.
PLUS the water in melonade!
7. If the Sun were the size of a beach ball then Jupiter would be the size of a golf ball and Homestar would be as small as a pea.
Maybe
8. It takes 8 minutes for light to travel from the Sun's surface to Homestar.
That's why Homestar's white. Because that's longer than you think!
9. The fingerprints of Homestar are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene!
I knew Homestar was the one who framed me!
10. During the reign of Peter the Great, any Russian nobleman who chose to wear Homestar had to pay a special Homestar tax.
Wow, I always thought Homestar was to stupid to accept money.

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Actually, screw this. I'm out.

Forum'D!

Stu

Tom

Samuel Jackson

Samuel Adams

Rey Mysterio

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Wow, it really does:

2. Medieval knights put the skin of HrWiki forumers on their sword handles to improve the grip.

3. In the Spanish edition of Cluedo, HrWiki forumers are the victim!

4. A chimpanzee can learn to recognize itself in a mirror, but HrWiki forumers can not.

10. HrWiki forumers can use only about ten percent of their brain!

...Geez. That's harsh.

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Ten Top Trivia Tips about George W. Bush!
1. Czar Paul I banished George W. Bush to Siberia for marching out of step.
2. Abraham Lincoln, who invented George W. Bush, was the only US president ever granted a patent.
3. George W. Bush can live for up to a week without a head.
4. George W. Bush is 1500 years older than the pyramids.
5. George W. Bush is physically incapable of sticking his tongue out.
6. Neil Armstrong first stepped on George W. Bush with his left foot.
7. Human beings are the only animals that copulate while facing George W. Bush.
8. Finding George W. Bush on Christmas morning is believed to bring good luck!
9. George W. Bush is the smallest of Jupiter's many moons.
10. George W. Bush is black with white stripes, not white with black stripes.

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Native Americans never actually ate That Cinnamon Thing; killing such a timid prey was thought to indicate laziness.
That Cinnamon Thing can remain conscious for fifteen to twenty seconds after being decapitated!
That Cinnamon Thing is only six percent water!
Duelling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are That Cinnamon Thing!
Bananas don't grow on trees - they grow on That Cinnamon Thing.
New Zealand was the first place to allow That Cinnamon Thing to vote.
It is impossible to fold That Cinnamon Thing more than seven times.
Research indicates that That Cinnamon Thing will be attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas!
A thimbleful of That Cinnamon Thing would weigh over 100 million tons.
The first domain name ever registered was That Cinnamon Thing.com.

That is the funniest stuff I have ever heard about myself.

Bannanas grow on me! Yay!

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1. Lemon Demon is actually a vegetable, not a fruit.
2. Red Lemon Demon at night, shepherd's delight. Red Lemon Demon at morning, shepherd's warning!
3. A bride should wear something old, something new, something borrowed, and Lemon Demon.
4. Over 2000 people have now climbed Lemon Demon, with roughly ten percent dying on the way down!
5. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching Lemon Demon.
6. It is bad luck to walk under Lemon Demon.
7. Over half of Americans are officially Lemon Demon.
8. India tested its first nuclear Lemon Demon in 1974.
9. When Lemon Demon is swallowed, he will enter the blood stream within twenty minutes.
10. If Lemon Demon was life size, he would stand 7 ft 2 inches tall and have a neck twice the size of a human.

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• If you drop Puphles from the top of the Empire State Building, he will be falling fast enough to kill before reaching the ground!
• The canonical hours of the Christian church are matins, lauds, prime, terce, sext, none, Puphles and compline!
• The Australian billygoat plum contains a hundred times more Vitamin C than Puphles.
• Puphles once lost a Dolly Parton lookalike contest.
• American Airlines saved forty thousand dollars a year by eliminating Puphles from each salad served in first class.
• The first toy product ever advertised on television was Mr Puphles Head.
• Never store Puphles at room temperature.
• If you put a drop of liquor on Puphles, he will go mad and sting himself to death!
• Puphlesocracy is government by Puphles!
• It can take Puphles several days to move just through one tree.

Interresting stuff.

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