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Games that never should've been made
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Author:  Simon Zeno [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 2:42 am ]
Post subject:  Games that never should've been made

So, I was looking through some old SNES games, and I found a bunch that should never have seen the light of day. For instance:

Wayne's World the Game
Cool Spot (it's about that red 7-up dot...)
Aero the Acrobat
Aero the Acrobat 2
All of those Bubsy games...

And of course, 3 Ninjas Kick Back...

Have any to add? Not just SNES games, mind you, all the horrible ones.

Author:  Teh Ch8t [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 2:45 am ]
Post subject: 

Tak and the power of JuJu

All I'd like to say.

Author:  Musachan [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 2:49 am ]
Post subject: 

Hey, you know what?

The Cool Spot game was actually ... a REALLY SOLID GAME. It's a fun platformer, odd subject aside. I love it and I still play it to this day x3

ET, the Extra Terrestrial. WORST. GAME. EVER.

Author:  Simon Zeno [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 3:05 am ]
Post subject: 

Mappy, this old arcade game with like, a policeman mouse and some cats and stuff... it really really suxxors.

Author:  Krazed Squirell [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 3:28 am ]
Post subject: 

Musachan wrote:
ET, the Extra Terrestrial. WORST. GAME. EVER.

You mean the old Atari 2600 version that sold so poorly that most of the copies were buried in a New Mexico landfill?

I've been going through my old NES games looking for my next sig, so here's some old school NES suckage.

Wizards and Warriors- A frustrating game with the worst control you can imagine. Most of the game involves jumping and trying to land on tiny ledges while being bombarded by dozens of enemies at once.

A Boy and his Blob- A puzzle/adventure where you feed your pet blob jelly beans to turn him into one of 30 different completely useless objects. Enjoy turning him into an umbrella while enemies kick your butt and laugh at you.

Renegade- Fighting game that took repetitiveness to new heights...er...new lows.

The Adventures of Bayou Billy- A game so bad, you have to play it to beleive it. I never owned this one, a friend did, but I still have nightmares about it every once and a while.

Author:  Alexander [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 3:46 am ]
Post subject: 

Being the Zelda fan that I am.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=9mHw5g55oC4

At least some of the jokes we made where funny.

http://whatiszeldalove.ytmnd.com

Quote:
No! Not into the pit, it BURNS!!


:homsar: Daaaa, I'm so hungry, I could eat an octoroc.

Author:  InterruptorJones [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 3:52 am ]
Post subject: 

Krazed Squirell wrote:
A Boy and his Blob


Oh, come on, that game pwned!

Ooh, I have one: Bronco Trolleys. TELL WHAT U THINK!

Author:  Windee [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 4:36 am ]
Post subject: 

InterruptorJones wrote:
Krazed Squirell wrote:
A Boy and his Blob


Oh, come on, that game pwned!

Ooh, I have one: Bronco Trolleys. TELL WHAT U THINK!


Aw! Come on, bronco trolleys is classic. And I like it because I always win! I still love the Spin-and-Say, too.

Author:  topofsm [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 4:58 am ]
Post subject: 

I hate bronco trolleys cause the tab+enter keys are hard to keep seperate.

Author:  Simon Zeno [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 3:18 pm ]
Post subject: 

So, I decided to go a little more indepth with this one.

I was looking through some old SNES games, and I found one called Total Carnage. I thought to myself, "Hey, I could really go for some total carnage!" and started up the game. Which turned out to be a large mistake.

First off, there was no real "title screen" to speak of, it basically just gave a brief synopsis of the "story." Apparently there was a war in 1999, and I have to go do something... I didn't really read it. Remember, I want total carnage, not total reading.

So, I get in the game, and find it to basically be a Zombies Ate My Neighbors clone, which is fine, since that's one of my favorite games. However, allow me to speak for a moment of the "unique" control scheme for this game. In this game, as in most, when you move around you change the direction you face. That's just common sense. However, instead of making there be one shoot button that shoots in the direction you choose, the ABXY buttons each shoot in a different direction. You can see how this would easily become annoying, and the fact that they couldn't find anything more useful for those buttons is a bit ominous for this game.

Also, Total Carnage is a bit of a misnomer, because none of these enemies really bleed. Some of them seem to turn into some kind of toxic sludge or something, but mostly they just disappear.

But I decide to continue playing, annoying controls and all, because that's how bored I am. I rescue some reporters or whatever (like I said, it's a Zombies clone), then I find some kind of portal. I think "Aha! A bonus stage or something like that!" I go in, and this is what greets me:
Image

Weasel Man... It's like Zero Wing all over again. Then a bunch, and by a bunch I mean hundreds, of dudes carrying axes (what the crap, I thought this was 1999?) come out and attack me. I kill a bunch, but they just keep coming. Then I die. It asked me if I wanted to continue, but I politely declined.

So, in retrospect, Total Carnage=Total Suxx0rs.

Author:  andrew [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 3:32 pm ]
Post subject: 

Journey.

Basically, you were the band of the same name, and you had to like, avoid groupies, and like, record Top 10 singles and stuff.

Author:  Dark Grapefruit [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 4:45 pm ]
Post subject: 

None of these games should never have been made, because if they had not been made, we would not know the joys of Seanbaby. ;)

Author:  StrongRad [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 4:49 pm ]
Post subject: 

Alexander wrote:
Being the Zelda fan that I am.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=9mHw5g55oC4


You know, if it weren't for the horrible body movements while they were talking, that wouldn't be so bad. Seriously, were they dancing or having a seizure or what?

Author:  Alexander [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 6:03 pm ]
Post subject: 

StrongRad wrote:
Alexander wrote:
Being the Zelda fan that I am.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=9mHw5g55oC4


You know, if it weren't for the horrible body movements while they were talking, that wouldn't be so bad. Seriously, were they dancing or having a seizure or what?


Both maby?

I still can't belive it took only one hit to deystroy ganon in those games.

P.S. The voice acting wasn't very good either. This just proves that Link doesn't need a voice.

Author:  Simon Zeno [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 6:09 pm ]
Post subject: 

Ugh... Why does Link (and pretty much everyone else in that video) have to have a mullet? Actually, it looks like a pompadour mixed with a mullet. A pompamullet.

Author:  Obomaru [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 6:18 pm ]
Post subject: 

Santa Zeno wrote:
All of those Bubsy games...
Y'know, it was made after Sonic started the "mascot with attitude" craze. That craze started a few good games (Rocket Knight Adventures and its sequel Sparkster, Bomb Headdy) but most of them sucked. Bubsy was bad, and probably the grandfather of a lot of lame mascots starring in horrible games, but one of his "children" was even worse than Bubsy. I'm talking about Awesome Possum. Jeez, AWESOME POSSUM!! If you want cool possum action, play Sparkster, not this horrible crap!

My other GTNSBMs include Ikari Warriors, Big Rigs, Superman (both NES and N64 versions) and *snickers* Captain Novolin.

Author:  Krazed Squirell [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 6:22 pm ]
Post subject: 

Santa Zeno wrote:
...of the pure evilness that is Total Carnage.

Yeah, I played this one in the arcades way back when. Same type of controls, endless enemies that assured you a quick 5-second death, and you got the added bonus of being insulted in cheesy '90s slang.

Author:  Cybernetic Teenybopper [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 6:26 pm ]
Post subject: 

Alexander wrote:
StrongRad wrote:
Alexander wrote:
Being the Zelda fan that I am.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=9mHw5g55oC4


You know, if it weren't for the horrible body movements while they were talking, that wouldn't be so bad. Seriously, were they dancing or having a seizure or what?


Both maby?

I still can't belive it took only one hit to deystroy ganon in those games.

P.S. The voice acting wasn't very good either. This just proves that Link doesn't need a voice.


Proof that I am a dork: Someone on a game site made a "Wand of Game-On" joke about the supposedly new name of the Revolution, and I still can't believe that I got it. Link has tiny arms. And really freakishly pink lips.

But not all outsystem Nintenspinoffs were bad. Man, I remember back in elementary school, on our old Macs, we had "Mario's Game Gallery" with, like, checkers and go fish and stuff. Silly, I know, but to me, man, that was the awesomest stuff EVER back then. I still love seeing the cute little Yoshies get kinged...

Author:  The Smiling Assassin [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 8:57 pm ]
Post subject: 

A game I think never should have been made?

To the Earth. It was a game on the NES that used the Zapper...I swear it's impossible.

Author:  Simon Zeno [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 9:07 pm ]
Post subject: 

Image
Wayne's World the Game

Yeah, I know I already mentioned it in my first post, but allow me to elaborate.

Apparently, while playing some game at Noah's Arcade (the game is full of unnecessary movie references) Wayne and Garth were transported into a video game world. Then something took Garth. That's about it for storyline.

Basically, you're Wayne, and you have to go find Garth. But of course, you have to battle malicious instruments along the way. Why, look how fearsome that bagpipe is!
Image
Good thing you can destroy them by wailing on your guitar. The enemies, for some reason, all have about as much life as you do.

When you die, which will happen alot, trust me, Wayne starts bowing down saying "Not worthy, not worthy!"
Image
No Wayne. You're not worthy.

One last note: To the makers of this game, whoever you are, I have but two words: collision detection. I can't tell you how many times I died because I fell through a ledge and landed on a tuba or something. Seriously.

Author:  Cybernetic Teenybopper [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 9:09 pm ]
Post subject: 

To the above: Wow. Where the heck did Wayne's neck go?

Author:  Krazed Squirell [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 9:10 pm ]
Post subject: 

The Smiling Assassin wrote:
A game I think never should have been made?

To the Earth. It was a game on the NES that used the Zapper...I swear it's impossible.

I kind of liked 'TTE'. You're right though, it was impossible.

I never liked 'Gods' for the Sega Genesis/Megadrive. It was a really repetitive, dull side scroller.

Author:  Simon Zeno [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 9:14 pm ]
Post subject: 

Krazed Squirell wrote:
The Smiling Assassin wrote:
A game I think never should have been made?

To the Earth. It was a game on the NES that used the Zapper...I swear it's impossible.

I kind of liked 'TTE'. You're right though, it was impossible.

I never liked 'Gods' for the Sega Genesis/Megadrive. It was a really repetitive, dull side scroller.


I remember that. It's on SNES too, I think. Is that the one that has like, a Spartan looking dude that hurls swords?

Author:  Krazed Squirell [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 9:20 pm ]
Post subject: 

Santa Zeno wrote:
Krazed Squirell wrote:
I never liked 'Gods' for the Sega Genesis/Megadrive. It was a really repetitive, dull side scroller.


I remember that. It's on SNES too, I think. Is that the one that has like, a Spartan looking dude that hurls swords?

Bullseye, and he hurled them rather ineffectually I might add. Waynes World: The Game sounds almost exactly like Blues Brothers: The Game for the NES. It was also terrible.

Author:  Acekirby [ Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:25 pm ]
Post subject: 

SUPERMAN 64!
SUPERMAN 64!
SUPERMAN 64!

AAAARRRRRGGGGLLLBLBLLBLBL!!!

Author:  Alexander [ Sat Mar 25, 2006 12:13 am ]
Post subject: 

Acekirby wrote:
SUPERMAN 64!
SUPERMAN 64!
SUPERMAN 64!

AAAARRRRRGGGGLLLBLBLLBLBL!!!


Oh yes, it's the worst game I have yet played and owned. I don't own the CDi Zelda games.

Big Rigs over the road racing had better graphics then this game.

Author:  Susan [ Sat Mar 25, 2006 12:59 am ]
Post subject: 

Who Framed Roger Rabit. GOD this game was so boring and it didnt even tell you what to do...

Author:  SEAN'D! [ Sat Mar 25, 2006 1:21 am ]
Post subject: 

Uh....
Enter the Matrix
Come on, it was ok, but they always expected you to know what to do.
And the driving levels?
Seriously.

Author:  That Cinnamon Thing [ Sat Mar 25, 2006 1:45 am ]
Post subject: 

Well..... SB THE GAME!!! Wait, no, that's not even a game. HRRRMRMRMM. Warcraft 2? No no, somethings gotta be worse than that.....Hmm...Well there is always that stupid ga-no no......ZOMG LOL I CAN'T TELL WHAT I THINK! Wait...Tiny tanks sucked. And, any skateboarding games suck. Wrestleing games, down the toilet. Now, KOL, thats a game!

Conquerers kinda sucked. I mean, its not that bad but not that good either. Oh, and Power Puff Girls: The game ( I don't know the name//title ) for SNES, TOTAL SUCKAGE. Another one would have to be Tekken 1 and 2. The graphics were horrible and the people were impossible to beat. Puyopop for gameboy advanced is horrible. FISHING GAMES SUCK!

I got alot of em, like superman 64. Mario 64 was kinda lousy too. DONKY KONG 64 SUCKED MONKEY BUTT.

Thats all I have to say.

Author:  Tompkins [ Sat Mar 25, 2006 3:24 am ]
Post subject: 

Tompkin's worst game of the week...

Image

Sofel Must have been smoking something when they made "Wall Street Kid"...

Image

Before I start reviewing, I've always wondered why the game is called Wall street "kid". As far as I'm concerned He doesn't look like a kid! And why is his Name wall street kid anyway? What mother would name their kid that? Shame on you!

Image

Well, mister Kid here learns that his uncle has passed away. Although, he isn't upset at all, considering that stupid grin on his face...Little punk...

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The little punk learns that he has inherited 600 Billion Dollars. But there's a catch...

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Looks like this punk will need to invest in the stock market and make 1 million dollars in a month... Sounds fun...


Image

Yep, It's a game about the stock market...Sofel needed help...

Image

The game is a point and click game..althought, there is no mouse, making it extremly difficult to control.

Image

DOES IT LOOK FUN YET????

No, it's never fun! It's about BUYING STOCKS! Oh wow! My stock went up! ZOMG!

I don't think this game should have ever been released. Everything about it is boring! The story is boring, the gameplay is boring, and the character's are bland and boring.

I give this load of crap:
Image

Toon in next week!

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