How to be Goth

Lu Bu · **Joined:** Sun Apr 23, 2006 12:36 pm **Posts:** 1166

Now I feel kinda bad.../i/ is having a field day...

Damn you R&P...

lol toastpaint

JTHomeslice · **Joined:** Tue Nov 23, 2004 2:39 pm **Posts:** 1088

Quote:

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through
meditation.)

Maybe they could be praying?

This is a load of crap.

Rusty · **Posted:** Mon Jan 15, 2007 12:17 am

Choc-o-Lardiac Arrest wrote:

This is a newsletter that St. Mary's church in Colorado Springs sent out this week:

Quote:

If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in.
The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:

-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through
meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very
dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your
child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
-Claims to be a goth.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.

~St. Mary's Catholic Church

ZOMG, I DO MOST OF THOSE THINGS, I MUST BE SHIPPER OF SATANxBUDDA!

All Joking aside, Is this an outrage, an Outcry, or out-right stupid?

Personal, i do think that claiming to be goth makes you more satanic than any of those other things. :rolleyes:

My friend at school showed me this two years ago. She's the last person I would think to be goth, and she got a really high score on it.

It's retarded. :rolleyes:

EDIT: Count DRACULA? BWAAHHAHAHAHAH.

EDIT 2: Let me point out some of the more stupid ones.

-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through
meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your
child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

So, basically, all of them.

Didymus · **Posted:** Mon Jan 15, 2007 12:40 am

BAMPIRES??

ChickenLeg · **Posted:** Mon Jan 15, 2007 3:19 am

Didymus wrote:

BAMPIRES??

OH MY GOD! We're teaching little kids to be Goth!

Had to be done...

Galvenized Nails · **Posted:** Mon Jan 15, 2007 3:23 am

when theyre referring to "goth cereal" dont they mean count chocula?

if they are then thats about the funniest and stupidest thing i ever heard.

wait- im using the internet now...oh god im goth!

Shippinator Mandy · **Posted:** Mon Jan 15, 2007 5:51 am

ChickenLeg wrote:

Didymus wrote:

BAMPIRES??

OH MY GOD! We're teaching little kids to be Goth!

Had to be done...

"BILLY, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO WATCH SESAME STREET ANYMORE! IT MIGHT MAKE YOU TEH GOTHZ0RX!!111 HERE, WATCH THIS FUNDAMENTALIST PROPAGANDA INSTEAD!"

...Sorry.

Mr. Sparkle · **Posted:** Mon Jan 15, 2007 5:55 am

Didymus wrote:

BAMPIRES??

I'm turning kids goth???

Didymus · **Posted:** Mon Jan 15, 2007 9:56 pm

ONE!! ONE Little Goth Child Convert!!
AH! AH! AH! AH! AAH!! *thunder/lightning*

ChickenLeg · **Posted:** Tue Jan 16, 2007 12:02 am

Didymus wrote:

ONE!! ONE Little Goth Child Convert!!
AH! AH! AH! AH! AAH!! *thunder/lightning*

I think there are only four cackles.

PizzaTrophy · **Posted:** Tue Jan 16, 2007 4:47 am

Well, looks like I'm gonna have to leave the forum now. I don't want to be associated with a bunch of Gothic little pre-teens.....

...wait....
*reads list agan*
*tick, tick, tick, tick*

Well, it looks like I'm a Goth too.

Rejoice, my Gothic friends!

Shippinator Mandy · **Posted:** Tue Jan 16, 2007 5:30 am

Didymus wrote:

ONE!! ONE Little Goth Child Convert!!
AH! AH! AH! AH! AAH!! *thunder/lightning*

If that doesn't make it into Mathgrant's sig I am going to be very, VERY disappointed.

lahimatoa · **Posted:** Tue Jan 16, 2007 3:26 pm

I like how this thread has turned into a "lolz christenz r so stoopid lolz" discussion when it has clearly been established that this list is fake and was created to make fun of Christians.

That is all, carry on.

ramrod · **Posted:** Tue Jan 16, 2007 6:40 pm

lahimatoa wrote:

I like how this thread has turned into a "lolz christenz r so stoopid lolz" discussion when it has clearly been established that this list is fake and was created to make fun of Christians.

That is all, carry on.

Now hold on a second. We're not making fn of all Christians here. just the over-zealous types, like Pat Robertson and the such.

StrongRad · **Posted:** Tue Jan 16, 2007 6:54 pm

ramrod wrote:

lahimatoa wrote:

I like how this thread has turned into a "lolz christenz r so stoopid lolz" discussion when it has clearly been established that this list is fake and was created to make fun of Christians.

That is all, carry on.

Now hold on a second. We're not making fn of all Christians here. just the over-zealous types, like Pat Robertson and the such.

Wait, I didn't think we were making fun of anyone here, except the people who think this letter was real (and the people who hold the beliefs in the letter).

lahimatoa · **Posted:** Tue Jan 16, 2007 7:05 pm

Um, have we established that anyone actually believes everything in this?

I don't think we have.

In that case, who is Rusty talking about when he says the list is retarded? And what is JT complaining about when he says "This is a load of -CENSOR'd!!-."?

ramrod · **Posted:** Tue Jan 16, 2007 7:09 pm

lahimatoa wrote:

In that case, who is Rusty talking about when he says the list is retarded? And what is JT complaining about when he says "This is a load of -CENSOR'd!!-."?

They probably said that before they knew it was fake. This list did have a few people convinced it was real.

lahimatoa · **Posted:** Tue Jan 16, 2007 7:45 pm

Oh. So they're either too lazy to read the whole thread or have bad reading comprehension skills.

Got it.

Mike D · **Posted:** Tue Jan 16, 2007 9:25 pm

lahimatoa wrote:

I like how this thread has turned into a "lolz christenz r so stoopid lolz" discussion when it has clearly been established that this list is fake and was created to make fun of Christians.

The list is at best a mild exaggeration of the hysterical stereotyping you'll hear coming from Christian social conservatives. I found it all too reminiscent of the sort of things we were warned against constantly in my church youth group. (One gem from Eddie, my youth group leader: "A guy who gets an earring is probably gay, at least secretly, in his heart.")

The list pokes fun at not-uncommon philosophy (espoused in both religion and in society at large) that any nonconformity, no matter how small, is wrong and a probably a sign of much more serious problems, and that it is acceptable to punish and abuse the "offender" until he or she gets back in line. I think that aspect of the list pushes people's buttons more than anything.

Of course, Christians are stereotyped as well, as we've seen in a few of the responses. I will remind everyone that mindless standards of conformity are not confined to conservative Christians. Even non-conformist groups have their standards of conformity.

Mike

Choc-o-Lardiac Arrest · **Posted:** Tue Jan 16, 2007 11:14 pm

Mike D wrote:

lahimatoa wrote:

I like how this thread has turned into a "lolz christenz r so stoopid lolz" discussion when it has clearly been established that this list is fake and was created to make fun of Christians.

The list is at best a mild exaggeration of the hysterical stereotyping you'll hear coming from Christian social conservatives. I found it all too reminiscent of the sort of things we were warned against constantly in my church youth group. (One gem from Eddie, my youth group leader: "A guy who gets an earring is probably gay, at least secretly, in his heart.")

The list pokes fun at not-uncommon philosophy (espoused in both religion and in society at large) that any nonconformity, no matter how small, is wrong and a probably a sign of much more serious problems, and that it is acceptable to punish and abuse the "offender" until he or she gets back in line. I think that aspect of the list pushes people's buttons more than anything.

Of course, Christians are stereotyped as well, as we've seen in a few of the responses. I will remind everyone that mindless standards of conformity are not confined to conservative Christians. Even non-conformist groups have their standards of conformity.

Mike

Thats our new Mod Nominee.

JTHomeslice · **Joined:** Tue Nov 23, 2004 2:39 pm **Posts:** 1088

lahimatoa wrote:

have bad reading comprehension skills.

That's me!

StrongRad · **Posted:** Wed Jan 17, 2007 1:31 am

Mike D wrote:

The list is at best a mild exaggeration of the hysterical stereotyping you'll hear coming from Christian social conservatives.

Mild exaggeration? That's like saying Iraq was a minor error in planning.

I know this was meant to mock the zeal with which a minority of Christians attack things that they see to be unholy, but even then, it's a gross exaggeration.
The fact that some people thought this was real really scares me and shows the incorrect, almost bigoted, view that many hold of the Church. Of course, people like the crazy lady on Trading Spouses don't really help. A majority of people in this country are Christian, yet you don't see people running through the streets screaming that we're all going to hell. Well, you do see those people, but everyone thinks they're crazy.

Anyway, I'm hoping this was meant as a joke and not an actual attempt to discredit the Church. The first is kind of funny (except that people believe it), the second, an example of bigotry.

Shwoo · **Posted:** Wed Jan 17, 2007 2:09 am

lahimatoa wrote:

I like how this thread has turned into a "lolz christenz r so stoopid lolz" discussion when it has clearly been established that this list is fake and was created to make fun of Christians.

That is all, carry on.

I know it's fake, but it's just so tempting to make fun of.

Mike D · **Posted:** Wed Jan 17, 2007 6:22 am

StrongRad wrote:

I know this was meant to mock the zeal with which a minority of Christians attack things that they see to be unholy, but even then, it's a gross exaggeration.

Of all the items on the list, the only ones I was never warned against in church were these:

-Complains of boredom.
-Requests time alone and quietness.
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Eats goth-related foods.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer. (But probably only because there was no internet at the time.)

Ours was a normal Baptist establishment, very mainstream. Perhaps your church was / is a bit more broad-minded than mine, but mine was in no way out of the ordinary. It was a conservative environment, but not even remotely as severe as, say, Bob Jones University.

Mike

StrongRad · **Posted:** Wed Jan 17, 2007 6:29 am

I grew up in a Freewill Baptist Church and, while a lot of the things on the list were frowned upon and discouraged, they weren't necessarily treated that way because they were "satanic". They weren't exactly quite as broadly defined either.

PianoManGidley · **Posted:** Wed Jan 17, 2007 11:24 pm

Heh...I just noticed that this line...

Stupid Phony Goth List wrote:

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

...doesn't contain "Evolution" as one of their "cult religions." If the person was meaning to attack Fundamentalist Christianity, I would have expected that old flame to be placed in there somewhere. Ah, well...still a stupid list, and an overzealous attempt at attacking an overly-demonized religion, wherein is found many fewer overzealous members than is typically conceived by those not participating.

Atresac · **Posted:** Thu Jan 18, 2007 3:27 am

Ugh, some of these were out right stupid and just made up...

Quote:

-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
-Complains of boredom.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through
meditation.)
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your
child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Masturbates
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

1) Black clothing means you worship the devil now? Wow... that's inconvienient.

2) Self-mutilation part of a Satanic ritual? Do they even bother to look up their facts? It's self-mutilation, but has nothing to do with Satanism.

3) what can I say? Life is boring at times.

4) Also just plain stupid. There is no meditation involved in Satanism and no "talking to spirits".

5) Heh... I just liked how Count CHOCula is all of a sudden satan food now... haha

6) Doesn't like.. just about everyone have cable now?

7) Silly propaganda... goths don't play video games!

8) People need to make time for H*R.

9) Yeah... No comment really... but they act as if it is exclusive to goths.

10) Also act as if it is exclusive to goths... I know many homosexuals who are very religious.

Meh, I'm sure no one needs me to point out how stupid this is, but those I felt were the cream of the crop.

Also, why did they call all those religions a cult? Only scientology is. out of that list.

edit: aw crapsicles, just decided to read some replies and it's only a parody thingie? Bagh. It caught me. I still had fun with it though.

StrongRad · **Posted:** Thu Jan 18, 2007 3:34 am

There are a lot of people who are saying Scientology is a cult. My question to them: "Why is Scientology a cult?"

"Someone says so" is not a valid answer, nor is "because it is".

Weird and wrong as they may be, calling them a cult is kind of unfair.

Beyond the Grave · **Posted:** Thu Jan 18, 2007 3:46 am

StrongRad wrote:

There are a lot of people who are saying Scientology is a cult. My question to them: "Why is Scientology a cult?"

"Someone says so" is not a valid answer, nor is "because it is".

Weird and wrong as they may be, calling them a cult is kind of unfair.

Wikipedia knows all.

StrongRad · **Posted:** Thu Jan 18, 2007 4:02 am

Beyond the Grave wrote:

StrongRad wrote:

There are a lot of people who are saying Scientology is a cult. My question to them: "Why is Scientology a cult?"

"Someone says so" is not a valid answer, nor is "because it is".

Weird and wrong as they may be, calling them a cult is kind of unfair.

Wikipedia knows all.

That's still "someone says so", though. The only people who have determined Scientology to be a cult are the French government.

Even then, I don't think it's fair for them to be labeled "cult".

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