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 Post subject: Abstinence-Only and Sex Education
PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 9:40 pm 
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I'm surprised there hasn't been a topic on this already. What is everyone's thoughts on sex education in schools? Should it be taught? How should it be taught? When should it be taught?

I believe somewhat strongly that "abstinence-only" programs (which seem to be growing more and more popular) are more of a hinderance than a help. They don't teach the mechanics of sex. They don't teach the risks of STDs, which still applies even for married couples engaging in sex. I don't even see a good secular reason to teach abstinence only, since teens are promiscuous, and you won't do away with teens engaging in sex before their wedding night. On a more overall view, school systems are supposed to be centers of learning--of enlightment through education. Abstinence-only programs only keep children in the dark about one of the most basic human instincts, thereby defeating the purpose of creating a well-informed, well-rounded generation.

I know there's a lot of Christian support behind abstinence-only programs (just as I know there's a lot of Christians who abhorr such programs), and if religious values are a leading factor in supporting such programs, I would counter with this: The Christian God gave man free will so that he would understand consequence, coming to appreciate the good in the world. Giving children only one option and keeping them in the dark about sex counteracts this ideal of free will, which contradicts God, from a biblical standpoint...doesn't it?

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 9:51 pm 
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We had an "abstinence" sex ed program at my middle school. Basically, kids from the high school (that we knew were about as abstinent as Paris Hilton) would come to the classroom once a week and tell us not to have sex.

There wasn't a lot about the mechanics of sex, but they thoroughly saturated us with a fear campaign regarding STDs. Basically, the message was: "This is what sex is and what it's about. You shouldn't have sex. If you have sex, you'll catch an STD and die a slow, horrible, painful death."

Personally, I'm in favor of sex ed favoring abstinence. It's the best way to protect against STDs, PERIOD. Think about it, there can't be an STD without the S, can there?

I'm also not opposed to a program explaining safe sex. Still, at least in the middle school level, sex ed should promote abstinence. Middle school students are not, in general, mature enough to be making decisions about their bodies, nor are they equipped (mentally, financially, or otherwise) to deal with a child.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 9:57 pm 
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First of all, I'm not sure your assessment that abstinence-only programs do not address STD's is entirely accurate. It would seem to me that STD's would be very good motive to teach and/or practice abstinence.

Last year, InterruptorJones posted a report from some senator (I forget who) that essentially argued that abstinence-only programs were all severely flawed and should not be taught. However, my own reading of that report raised several objections to the senator's methodology: (1) he focused his attention on blatant errors in only two of the more than 15 available programs, attempting to show these specific errors as being indicative of ALL abstinence-only education; and (2) his complete failure to compare information taught in non-abstinence-only programs, which, from my own experience of public education, seems to indicate that many of the errors he condemns are also being taught in those programs as well. Rather than presenting a balanced concern that all sex education programs be taught using only accurate information, he was essentially using this report to push his own political leanings on the subject.

On the contrary, I believe that sex education, at the very least, needs to encourage abstinence. Teenage pregnancy and STD's are only two of the most vital issues that need to be accurately addressed by all sex education programs, and frankly, I am of the opinion that anyone who intends to engage in any sexual behavior needs to be physically, mentally, and emotionally ready for the relational, medical, and quite possibly familial responsibilities that can result. And let's face it, no matter how "ready" teenagers tend to think they are, the reality is that many of them are just racing where their raging hormones drive them.

Furthermore, I am not convinced that "They're gonna do it anyway," is any excuse for not responsibly addressing such concerns. People still smoke, despite all the reports, ads, laws, and other warnings our society imposes on that habit. But who knows? At least a few might take heed of such encouragement and approach sex with a healthy, responsible attitude.

As such, I think a sex education program should promote healthy, responsible attitudes toward sex, and yes, that includes encouraging them not to simply follow their immediate hormonal impulses, but to wait until such time as they are mentally, physically, emotionally, and otherwise responsibly ready for it.

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Last edited by Didymus on Mon Apr 23, 2007 9:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 9:58 pm 
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StrongRad wrote:
Personally, I'm in favor of sex ed favoring abstinence. It's the best way to protect against STDs, PERIOD. Think about it, there can't be an STD without the S, can there?


Abstinence IS the best way to prevent against STDs. But TEACHING abstinence isn't, IMO. Not when you leave out all the other information regarding the mechanics of how and why. Teaching abstinence in sex ed is like teaching someone to become a germophobe in biology class. It doesn't create a healthy, informed individual--only an ignorant, fearful one. But of course, people in power already know how much easier it is to control masses who are afraid and ignorant.

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I'm also not opposed to a program explaining safe sex. Still, at least in the middle school level, sex ed should promote abstinence. Middle school students are not, in general, mature enough to be making decisions about their bodies, nor are they equipped (mentally, financially, or otherwise) to deal with a child.


I agree that middle school age is too young to be having sex...even high school age, IMO (unless the person is 18, like a senior). I am also in favor of programs that would explain safe sex. That's better than just saying "never have sex!"

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 9:59 pm 
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Yeah, they taught it to us last year. They didn't say "Abstinence is the only way to not get pregnant and STDs, lawlzorz" or anything like that. They told us to do what we want, but to make sure we know of the different types of protection there are. They told us Abstinence was the only sure-fire way to prevent pregnancy and STDs, but they encouraged that we use things like Condoms, Spermicide, and other stuff of the sort. They also told us that we should have sex when we are ready, and when we feel more than comfortable with whoever we are dating at the time, and if they feel the same.

Didn't help much, though, theres still a huge population of pregnant chicks and dudes with STDs. Maybe if they handed out condoms, or something...

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 10:02 pm 
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I don't even think that would help, Cola. Some schools actually do that, and they still have the same problems.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 10:03 pm 
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Didymus wrote:
I don't even think that would help, Cola. Some schools actually do that, and they still have the same problems.
Yeah, I guess there is no sure-fire way to prevent it, but classes like this and stuff can help put a dent in the numbers.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 10:11 pm 
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PianoManGidley wrote:
StrongRad wrote:
Personally, I'm in favor of sex ed favoring abstinence. It's the best way to protect against STDs, PERIOD. Think about it, there can't be an STD without the S, can there?


Abstinence IS the best way to prevent against STDs. But TEACHING abstinence isn't, IMO. Not when you leave out all the other information regarding the mechanics of how and why. Teaching abstinence in sex ed is like teaching someone to become a germophobe in biology class. It doesn't create a healthy, informed individual--only an ignorant, fearful one. But of course, people in power already know how much easier it is to control masses who are afraid and ignorant.

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I'm also not opposed to a program explaining safe sex. Still, at least in the middle school level, sex ed should promote abstinence. Middle school students are not, in general, mature enough to be making decisions about their bodies, nor are they equipped (mentally, financially, or otherwise) to deal with a child.


I agree that middle school age is too young to be having sex...even high school age, IMO (unless the person is 18, like a senior). I am also in favor of programs that would explain safe sex. That's better than just saying "never have sex!"

I'd say we're fairly close to agreement here, PMG. A careful balance must be struck, though, to avoid sending mixed/wrong messages. The "safe sex" portion of our "sex education" in high school seemed to suggest that things like condoms were just as effective as effective as abstinence.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 10:12 pm 
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i agree with gidley and pretty much with Sree.

I had a sex-ed that (besides a fully incompetent teacher) explained that abstinence was the best and only way to be sure not to get preggers or the clap, but then he went on to make sure we all knew about the different options for safe sex, because he (and the administration, course designers, etc.) knew that what they say probably won't stop people from having sex.

i don't know that high schools handing out condoms is the best idea, although i don't buy that kids would start having more sex because of their presence or anything (in my experience, i found out that just about everyone in high school claiming that they were getting laid was lying). i think sex ed teachers should let kids know that they can get them for free at planned parenthood or whatever and that they are a better idea than unsafe sex.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 10:18 pm 
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(in my experience, i found out that just about everyone in high school claiming that they were getting laid was lying).

That was pretty much my experience in high school too. And even my first few years in the military. I knew guys that would flat out lie about some girl they claimed to be with, and then look like total jerks when they got busted.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 10:22 pm 
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I always thought it was funny how the people on the abstinence posters were all fugly. I thought "Man, I don't really think you need to worry too much."

Then I got to high school, and noticed that all the pregnant chicks are, in fact, fugly. Who knew?


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 10:22 pm 
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Choc-o-Lardiac Arrest wrote:
Yeah, they taught it to us last year. They didn't say "Abstinence is the only way to not get pregnant and STDs, lawlzorz" or anything like that. They told us to do what we want, but to make sure we know of the different types of protection there are. They told us Abstinence was the only sure-fire way to prevent pregnancy and STDs, but they encouraged that we use things like Condoms, Spermicide, and other stuff of the sort. They also told us that we should have sex when we are ready, and when we feel more than comfortable with whoever we are dating at the time, and if they feel the same.

Didn't help much, though, theres still a huge population of pregnant chicks and dudes with STDs. Maybe if they handed out condoms, or something...


Then that doesn't really sound like "Abstinence-ONLY". "Abstinence-Only" sounds like (to me) the ONLY thing children are taught is "Don't have sex! Ever! Never ever ever ever ever! It's bad, and you die from it!"

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 10:33 pm 
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This is an opinion coming from an 8th grader, but I personally believe sex ed programs should spend less time telling high schoolers they're not ready for sex and more time letting them know what they need to do if they're GOING to have sex. I mean, not everyone is really going to listen to the abstinence messages.

It is POSSIBLE to be ready for sex. It's possible to know that you want to have it, and it's possible to take precautions so that you don't get pregnant or get an STD from it. I hate the way sex education makes it seem like people who have underage sex are GOING to get pregnant or GOING to get an STD, when in reality there are incredibly simple measures that can be taken to prevent those things from happening.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 10:38 pm 
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Seriously, despite all the abstinence programs, kids are still gonna go at it like squirrels. I'd rather they at least know to use a condom.

Speaking of kids having sex, I heard an interesting story.

At local Caywood Elementary, they'd give out this "Caywood Cash", for being a good student or whatever. You could use it to buy like, pencils and erasers and junk. Well, apparently, some fourth-grade girls started trading sexual favors for Caywood Cash...

They don't give out Caywood Cash anymore.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 10:42 pm 
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Didymus wrote:
First of all, I'm not sure your assessment that abstinence-only programs do not address STD's is entirely accurate. It would seem to me that STD's would be very good motive to teach and/or practice abstinence.
That's definitely true. I used to help teach sex ed to middle schoolers (a few of my high school friends and I would do those plays in front of classrooms of kids), and a lot of it was focused on preventing STDs in addition to other things. Almost all the schools we taught in were public schools, so our reasons were taught from a secular perspective, too, and the students took it very well (they weren't like 'scr00 u i want sex now11').
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I'd say we're fairly close to agreement here, PMG. A careful balance must be struck, though, to avoid sending mixed/wrong messages. The "safe sex" portion of our "sex education" in high school seemed to suggest that things like condoms were just as effective as effective as abstinence.
Yeah, I agree there. We usually at least mentioned what condoms were and what they were designed to do, but that they weren't nearly as effective as abstinence. That way, if they decided not to listen to the abstinence stuff, at least they knew what 'safer sex' was.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 10:46 pm 
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I live in Utah. Our sexual education was "Abstinence is the only way to go! There's no such thing as safe sex! Wait until marriage!" and that was it. I'm serious.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 11:00 pm 
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Jello with carrots wrote:
I live in Utah. Our sexual education was "Abstinence is the only way to go! There's no such thing as safe sex! Wait until marriage!" and that was it. I'm serious.


That's odd. I grew up in Utah and I definitely remember being taught about condoms and whatnot. Where exactly are you, [s]so I can burn your house down[/s] out of curiosity?

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 11:19 pm 
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Simon Zeno wrote:
I always thought it was funny how the people on the abstinence posters were all fugly. I thought "Man, I don't really think you need to worry too much."

Then I got to high school, and noticed that all the pregnant chicks are, in fact, fugly. Who knew?


Zeno, in honor of great truth, i bequeath to you the following: the lulz.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 11:20 pm 
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I definately think they should promote abstinence in schools. Waiting until marriage to have sex isn't just a Christian practice; many of my athiest and agnostic friends plan on waiting until marriage because they believe that is how it should be, not for any reason except their good morals. So promoting abstinence is definately a good thing for schools.

It is also important to teach about "safe sex" and all of the consequences of sex, both physical and emotional. Sure, you may not get pregnant if you use a condom or if you're on the pill, you might not get an STI (I believe they're calling them sexually transmitted infections now), but I think they should also teach the emotional stress that it causes. Yes, teenagers are physically ready for sex, but many of us aren't emotionally ready. You may be at the time, but after the fact, it can be quite the burden.

My only real regret in life so far has been giving up my virginity and I still haven't been able to ask for His forgiveness because I still don't know if I've really been able to accept the fact that I made a mistake. That guilt in the back of my mind has been haunting me for quite a while and I don't want any of my friends to have to go through the emotional burden. I'm not pregnant, not diseased, but I sure as hell am not proud of my decision.

So, the lesson to be learned kids: Sex is bad, if you have sex, your privates will turn purple and fall off and everyone will laugh at you.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 11:25 pm 
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PieMax wrote:
Waiting until marriage to have sex isn't just a Christian practice; many of my athiest and agnostic friends plan on waiting until marriage because they believe that is how it should be, not for any reason except their good morals.


But how are these morals derived, from a secular standpoint?

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 11:29 pm 
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Why, they're completely arbitrary, of course!


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 11:30 pm 
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fall off!? OH -Censor'd-


um. actually, despite my decidedly atheistic sex-before-marriage lifestyle i have to admist i agree a lot with PieMax. I didn't get anyone preggers or get any diseases but i certainly regret my first sexual experience. not from so much of a moralistic standpoint but it was jst dumb, and i chose do so for the wrong reason. that said, sex before marriage doesn't always end up that way but whatever.

i do know that kids will continue to do it though so i'd sure as heck like to make sure they don't go out and get teen pregnant.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 11:32 pm 
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PianoManGidley wrote:
But how are these morals derived, from a secular standpoint?

Maybe because they watch Jerry Springer and don't want to turn out like those folks.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 11:43 pm 
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Didymus wrote:
PianoManGidley wrote:
But how are these morals derived, from a secular standpoint?

Maybe because they watch Jerry Springer and don't want to turn out like those folks.


Because obviously, everyone who commits sex before marriage is a prostitute, redneck, druggie, bisexual, transgendered, or member of the KKK.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 11:44 pm 
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PianoManGidley wrote:
Didymus wrote:
PianoManGidley wrote:
But how are these morals derived, from a secular standpoint?

Maybe because they watch Jerry Springer and don't want to turn out like those folks.


Because obviously, everyone who commits sex before marriage is a prostitute, redneck, druggie, bisexual, transgendered, or member of the KKK.

You're saying that like you didn't know it. :mrgreen: Image

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 12:03 am 
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PianoManGidley wrote:
Didymus wrote:
PianoManGidley wrote:
But how are these morals derived, from a secular standpoint?

Maybe because they watch Jerry Springer and don't want to turn out like those folks.


Because obviously, everyone who commits sex before marriage is a prostitute, redneck, druggie, bisexual, transgendered, or member of the KKK.


a lot of them don't seem very happy though.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 12:04 am 
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And a lot of people are unhappy because they can't even legally get married, even though they and their partner are two consenting adults. So they default into only having "sex before marriage" or remain abstinent with the person for whom they feel a deep, undying romantic love.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 12:09 am 
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that goes in another topic. toastpaint.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 12:17 am 
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I went to a Catholic School so the only Sex-Ed I had was Abstinence Only. They stressed it, but that didn't stop girls from getting pregnant. The only virgins in my grade were the girls that no one would touch with a 10 ft. pole.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 12:19 am 
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You don't have to be skinny and wear a lot of make-up to think you're in love and have sex with someone.


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