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Convincing Parents to Quit Smoking
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Author:  ChickenLeg [ Fri Jul 20, 2007 6:31 am ]
Post subject:  Convincing Parents to Quit Smoking
Originally, this was for the real life decisions thread, but I felt like it deserved it's own. So, if this needs to be merged, put into another category of threads, etc., go ahead.

For those of you who saw me talk about my parents smoking yesterday that greatly affects me after being removed for some time, um... I have no idea how to finish that sentence. I love my parents (although I really have to look a lot deeper into myself to truly feel that toward my mom) and I want them to quit smoking. It'll do them a lot of good, and I won't have to worry about freaking out on the nicotine air and being a very excited, irritated manic no one really notices. (Parents are either really stupid, or never around. Never both![/Cosmo])

I want to know how to convince and help them to stop. I'm pretty sure it'll be near impossible with my mom, so I'm worried about whether I should even bother with it as well. On one hand, no turbulence and relative family calmness by not bothering. I personally don't want to deal with extremely perturbed parents, especially with the fear that they'll start fighting and suddenly decide to divorce. But that's just me over imagining things. On the other hand, both my parents die of lung cancer when I'm 20. There'll be lots of pain and guilt that I never tried to get them to stop, and it could lead to pretty severe emotional anguish. That and I'm sick of not trying even a little on things I feel afraid of doing.

I might be able to persuade them by saying smoking damages not only their bodies, but damages other bodies, the pets, computers, electronics, and important stuff they collect as well. There will be monetary gain by quitting smoking by having more money to spend on essentials and can save more money. However, my mom is nearly impossible to persuade, and I'm a little uncomfortable even mentioning smoking to my dad. I respect him, but I fear his mood will worsen at mentioning considering quitting. I take him much more seriously than my mom, so I'd likely wouldn't touch on the subject again if it doesn't go so well. :-|

I don't want to force them to do anything they don't want to do, and I am afraid of being punished for doing so. I don't want to threaten either. It's totally not my nature to get that aggressive over anything. Heck, when I'm angry, I usually feel assertive, but the anger I show comes back to bite me in some way, and I feel that I should be passive.

And there's another part of me that feels like I'm doing this for my own, selfish ends. That I want them to stop so I won't have to feel the secondhand effects. I feel a lot less stressed and content at my sister's, but I can easily get in a bad mood in a second at my home, and have less motivation to do things because of said mood. For instance, I got a good chunk out of that book I need to read for school in a day, when at home I passed it off as the worst 15 bucks I ever spent. Couldn't even get past a page without feeling majorly ticked and throwing the book on the floor or somewhere before trying again with the same results. However, my mom won't find that as a valid reason, and will pass it off as me being a spoiled teenager, which I believe, despite only getting $2/week and cheap gifts I'm content with. Unless it's a pencil set. No one likes a pencil set. And I literally have over a hundred in my possession. If anything, I'd want a good pencil sharpener. :D

But enough of pencils. My point is that this is something I, and many other sons and daughters, could really use some help for.
Author:  sci-fi greg [ Fri Jul 20, 2007 8:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Wanting to not breath second hand smoke is not selfish in the least. That's like saying, "I feel bad that I want to make my parents not kill themselves just so I don't get hurt too." That is completely reasonable. Why do you not even want to bring it up with your mom? How do you think she'll react?
Author:  PianoManGidley [ Fri Jul 20, 2007 10:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
This may be really hard for you to do, but you might have to consider going to another adult source. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, school counselor...even CPS if measures get drastic. I know that forcing your parents to see that they have a problem that's negatively affecting you and others is never fun or easy. My manager at work just had to forcibly admit his mother to rehab, who was so desperate that she was looking for cab fare just to get to Walgreen's just so she could drink NyQuil. He's 31, and he came out of that really hard. I can't imagine how it must be for someone as young as you to be forced with something so similar.
Author:  Choc-o-Lardiac Arrest [ Sat Jul 21, 2007 1:37 am ]
Post subject: 
Show your parents this:
Image
Author:  Wesstarrunner [ Sat Jul 21, 2007 2:05 am ]
Post subject: 
[sarcasm]Yeah COLA, that right there is the only reason I would want to quit smoking if I smoked.[/sarcasm]

Chicken Leg, tell your parents that you'd like them to quit. Just let them know you don't want an argument or to make them mad or anything and then tell them you would like them to quit. That's all I can tell you, and I really haven't had experience with that kind of stuff. I do have an uncle that has lung cancer at this moment though and it's hard to think he might die from it. Just know, though, that if they die from smoking it's their own fault and you should never feel guilty if you asked them to quit or not, although it is a good idea to ask. If they get mad/ uncomfortable if you tell them it's because of their own insecurities.
Author:  Choc-o-Lardiac Arrest [ Sat Jul 21, 2007 3:22 am ]
Post subject: 
Wesstarrunner wrote:
[sarcasm]Yeah COLA, that right there is the only reason I would want to quit smoking if I smoked.[/sarcasm]
No, but its a good way to convince other people to stop smoking.
Author:  Wesstarrunner [ Sat Jul 21, 2007 3:27 am ]
Post subject: 
Sadly, that is true... and funny!
Author:  ChickenLeg [ Sat Jul 21, 2007 4:14 am ]
Post subject: 
Choc-o-Lardiac Arrest wrote:
Show your parents this:
Image


I would, but they're too old to even think about doing that anymore. I mean, they're from the era that thought of smoking as cool and perfectly harmless. AKA, the late '50's to early '70's.

CPS seems way too drastic. It feels more like threatening my parents, and I never would want to do that.

Basically, my mom can overreact to anything that could slightly inconvenience her in any way. She never listens to reason and does what she wants to do. She'll even drive 10 miles to an out of town post office for her stamp collecting. It's ridiculous. I know the town's post office sucks, but she can live with it. Or better yet, apply for some job there, if possible. If anything, she'll take it completely out of context and continue to smoke behind my back because that would be easier for her.

I think my left lung is aching because of the nicotine. However, my mom could pass it off as me resting on it for too long. But what if I wasn't? Then I'm "lying", "overreacting", or "imagining things". :-|

That's it. I'll promise myself to try tomorrow. I could even say that the money used for their cartons can be used for ice cream bars/sandwiches. Everybody likes those. Or better yet, it can be used for their retirement fund. :D
Author:  Wesstarrunner [ Sat Jul 21, 2007 4:28 am ]
Post subject: 
You could always get one of those cool looking air cleaning towers that used to be advertised on T.V. all the time (I haven't seen the ads recently, have you?) and put it in your area of frequent if you're worried about 2nd hand smoke. Just say you, yourself, are bothered by it and need a way to lessen it's impact on you or something smart like that. It's good you're telling your parent's though, let them know how you feel. That's what parent's are for, to tell them about your troubles and such, right?
Author:  Choc-o-Lardiac Arrest [ Sat Jul 21, 2007 4:44 am ]
Post subject: 
Tell them if they are gonna smoke while you're around, to do it outside.
Author:  Shippinator Mandy [ Sat Jul 21, 2007 6:52 am ]
Post subject: 
Calling CPS is TERRIBLE, PMG. ChickenLeg's parents aren't ABUSING her.
Author:  Dewy [ Sat Jul 21, 2007 7:19 am ]
Post subject: 
Shippinator Mandy wrote:
Calling CPS is TERRIBLE, PMG. ChickenLeg's parents aren't ABUSING her.


Well, if you think about it, putting their child in a life threatening/dangerous situation voluntarily and not doing anything about it kind of is abusive.

I say you just sit down with your parents and tell them you want them to quit. Give them a few reasons, I.E. its harmful for all of you, could lead to earlier death, etc.
Author:  Didymus [ Sat Jul 21, 2007 7:47 am ]
Post subject: 
Shippinator Mandy wrote:
Calling CPS is TERRIBLE, PMG. ChickenLeg's parents aren't ABUSING her.

I would beg to differ on this. My dad and his wife at one time were very heavy smokers, and being around them as a kid was horrible. Long trips were especially bad, because they would both smoke in the truck, pretty much leaving my brother and I to choke on their fumes. And their response? "It ain't hurting you!" (of course, 20 years later, and both of them have been forced to quit due to health reasons).

But here's the thing: ChickenLeg might very well have some sort of medical condition that makes being around smoke even worse. And then, of course, there's the whole second-hand smoke health risk, too.

So basically, for CL, to endure her parents smoke cases extreme discomfort (dare I say, torture) AND puts her health at risk. It may be unintentional abuse, but it is still abuse.
Author:  ChickenLeg [ Sat Jul 21, 2007 8:02 am ]
Post subject: 
To be fair, the main, very noticeable discomfort happens after coming home after being gone for some time. I recently noticed that I seem a lot less stressed and more inclined to do constructive things when staying at a smoke-free place.
Author:  Did he sell eggs? [ Sat Jul 21, 2007 8:56 am ]
Post subject: 
Amsterdam Airport (And other European type places.) have very blunt and entertaining warnings.

But sometimes bluntness is good.
Author:  Amorican [ Mon Jul 23, 2007 9:26 am ]
Post subject: 
Did he sell eggs? wrote:
Amsterdam Airport (And other European type places.) have very blunt and entertaining warnings.

But sometimes bluntness is good.


I don't know if you did that on purpose . . . but that made me LOL, and it reminded me of this guy.
Image

As for the original poster, I think in order to keep the peace, you might have to just leave it alone at some point. You'll just irritate your parents, and the stresses involved in that can't be good for anybody's health either. They aren't going to quit unless they want to quit. Forcing people to change just does not work. For your own health, you should probably just stay out of your house as much as possible, until you are able to move out on your own.
Author:  Dewy [ Tue Jul 24, 2007 8:54 am ]
Post subject: 
Amorican wrote:

As for the original poster, I think in order to keep the peace, you might have to just leave it alone at some point. You'll just irritate your parents, and the stresses involved in that can't be good for anybody's health either. They aren't going to quit unless they want to quit. Forcing people to change just does not work. For your own health, you should probably just stay out of your house as much as possible, until you are able to move out on your own.


Not true. For her (I Chicken Leg is a her) sake, they NEED to do something. Their choice to smoke puts their child at risk, so its THEIR responsibility and obligation to themselves and their kid(s?) to quit.

Quote:
For your own health, you should probably just stay out of your house as much as possible, until you are able to move out on your own.

You're on the right track with that, but it still is just ridiculous to expect someone to stay out of their house for a reason like this.
Author:  ChickenLeg [ Tue Jul 24, 2007 9:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
Dewy wrote:
Amorican wrote:

As for the original poster, I think in order to keep the peace, you might have to just leave it alone at some point. You'll just irritate your parents, and the stresses involved in that can't be good for anybody's health either. They aren't going to quit unless they want to quit. Forcing people to change just does not work. For your own health, you should probably just stay out of your house as much as possible, until you are able to move out on your own.


Not true. For her (I Chicken Leg is a her) sake, they NEED to do something. Their choice to smoke puts their child at risk, so its THEIR responsibility and obligation to themselves and their kid(s?) to quit.


Quote:
For your own health, you should probably just stay out of your house as much as possible, until you are able to move out on your own.

You're on the right track with that, but it still is just ridiculous to expect someone to stay out of their house for a reason like this.


She. Teen. And I pretty much thought that it was selfish in the first place, since I'd be forcing them to do something they don't want to do, and only doing it to satisfy my own ends. Even the serious freakout I had twice when coming back home those two times because of the nicotine'd air doesn't seem like a good enough reason anymore. The one I had Saturday doesn't seem exceptional now, even though I had very violent and unusually sexualmood swings.

But, like Dewy said, it just seems ridiculous to stay out of the house as much as possible, since, well, I don't really have anyplace to hang out. Except the library, but they won't let you do any fun stuff there except study, and that's boring. :D

I suppose I can just fish out an air purifier and just live with it. It is their choice, after all. I mean, I had difficulty starting the conversation when I had my mom's attention, and just simply chickened out all together. I can try to get someone I trust IRL to help me out, but I'm not sure it'll even work. Air purifier just seems the best option, if I can't convince
Author:  Wesstarrunner [ Tue Jul 24, 2007 9:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Some people are just so addicted to the stuff they put it up on a pedestal and worship it. Like my cousin (she's like 20, 30 something, I'm not good with ages). Well my uncle has lung cancer and doesn't, really doesn't, need to be around the smoke. My aunt makes her not smoke around him or inside at all, but she complains. That is what nicotine can do to people. So just remember that. Also, it's not selfish to want to be healthy, it's really weird not to want to be healthy actually. Don't say your selfish for wanting them to quit. At least try to make them buy you an air purifier.

-Just my 2 cents that may have nothing to do with anything.
Author:  Duecex2 [ Tue Jul 24, 2007 10:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
Personally, I wouldn't care if my parents smoked. Just as long as they did it outside. Because that makes houses almost unbearable for me, and I don't even have allergies.
Author:  Shippinator Mandy [ Wed Jul 25, 2007 12:36 am ]
Post subject: 
I still don't think it's the kind of abuse that's worthy of calling CPS. -_-
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