DS_Kid wrote:
Well, isn't that what electives in school are for?
In my school, we have 7 electives to choose from. This would be fine, if it weren't for the fact that 3 of them have to be related to math, science and history. If I'm reading that right. And with the "Excel diploma" (taking 2 foriegn language courses and passing every single class), that means that a person could be confined to as little as 2 electives they can freely choose from. I myself wanted to get all four classes of Art, but out of some thing I can't understand, I might have three or even two.
But I fully agree with the againsters. Let's face it: school can make someone go down a road of perceived glory when it in fact can ruin them on the inside.
I was in school since I was 3 (preschool, where I was pretty happy and perceived other children as friends) and was unknowingly subject to a special class for half of a full school day, when I could easily have gotten half. I thought that I was smart, since I was in this extra class. So, I made it my duty to try my best. In 1st grade, I was in an advanced spelling thingy. It was then I felt I shouldn't associate with "commoners" (the rest of the class). I managed to guess the closest number of mini M&M in a plastic duck jar in 2nd grade. At that time, I started to feel that school lasted too long and I knew everything. I knew what history meant in 3rd when my peers didn't. It was also at that point when I was enrolled in a gifted program. I was enthralled. When 4th grade came along, I was in it again. But I felt the pressure. Homework was starting to dominate my home life and the gifted program was burdening me with extra work I could both care less about. However, I felt forced to do it anyway. Eventually, it got someone's attention that I wasn't supposed to be in the gifted program. I found this an opportunity, but instead lost some of my identity. I also started to feel that classes wer repetitive and boring, and therefore started doing below my expectations. 5th grade came, and I found myself in band. It was really boring, and I wondered why my mom brainwashed me into it until after 6th grade.
Did I ever mention that 6th grade was like a terrible taste of what Superheck had to offer and therefore deserves its own paragraph? For starters, I had a math teacher that literally would yell at us for not understanding something as a class. I forgot my homework, and I felt guilty about it. Therefore, I began to cry. Instead of the usual emotional support I got the past 5 or 6 years, I just got a "Stop it.". I know it was me. She said my name. I then got a hard dose of the fact that people may simply don't care and I should deal with it. She was a yelly teacher, and I tended to cry from fright or guilt up until then. Since I could get yelled at for being rightfully (though maybe out of proportionally) upset, I realized I had to hold it in. While it gave me solace that I managed to keep quiet for a change, it eventually turned into self-hate. That I was a wuss because I happened to be hypersensitive. Homework became such a burden at this point as well. On one hand, I didn't felt like I had to prove some useless facts for the thousandth time, but on the other hand, wanted to keep my identity. So, it took virtually every measure possible to make sure I did all of it everyday. Having school form 8:30 to 3:00 doesn't sound much, but homework from 3 to 10 is. I practically goofed off half the time by fiddling with erasers and stuff since I wanted to do something better with my time. On top of that, there were six perceived bullies (4 happened to be jerks, and the fifth I'm on good terms now) in gym class. I would always have my self-esteem stamped on two days a week, and I even snitched a few times, but to no effect. Even though he's at some other school now, I loathe him to the point where if I ever see his face again, I would literally smash it in. In fact, I recently had a dream where I saw him and kicked him in the crotch. However, I got beaten pretty hard. Then, I had to deal with being on lunch patrol in the same special class for three days a week. I was glad at first, since I now had something to do instead of nothing for recess, but my germphobia got kicked into high gear. I wasn't socialable (I'm naturally that way), and felt like I did a bad job in the end. And there was band, which I didn't care about. And there was the fear that middle school would be full of drugs and bullies. Now, however, I think that some drugs were completely focused on negative aspects instead of potential medical aspects, and therefore a form of urban legends.
Didn't you study health class? You'll microwave the baby!
[s]Urban legends[/s] I mean health class
Mix that all together and I had a breakdown in school. I thought I was consoled, but in fact my problems were passed off as having too much homework, which was part of the problem. The main one was what was the point of doing something over and over again, the bullying going on, the yelling teacher, not doing well in lunch patrol. I realized that nothing could be done and was helpless to do anything about it. And let's face it; learned helplessness is rarely, if ever, good. Ironically, it was also around that time that I had my first period. Didn't want it to happen ever, but it did. Panicked and wanted to believe that it was something else. Didn't work. So, it also kind of enforced the helplessness I felt growing on me.
Middle school came by and my germphobia led me to wear ridiculous, oversized tartans. But I entered feeling I could do nothing about anything except being the smartest. However, that felt thwarted by my inability to understand algebra. Everything was given to me so fast and I couldn't retain anything to the point that I mostly got D's and F's on mmy tests during middle school. Yet, I got a B since I did my homework. Or at least tried to. I had to redo many papers, and having a ton of homework piling up you can't understand can be stressful and demoralizing. Then, there was the phobia of a certain word. I was given no warning, but when I saw it, I was shocked. So, I couldn't read most of the novels I had to since it included that word and whenever I read it would get me into a nauseous stupor. Thankfully, now while I can read it without that horrible reaction anymore, I still have the mental censor to write it. But imagine trying to stumble through worksheets and questions about the book when you're too scared to even open it, since you know that there might be a chance of basically becoming stupefied for an hour. There was also social expectancies that I tried to avoid by showing indifference. In truth, That teacher is not a pedophile, that teacher isn't gay, that teacher may or may not wear a diaper, but why should I make fun of what might be a health problem, and so on. Rules were also feeling ridiculously strict and very, very unfair. In a way, a few people messing around and therefore having the administration not having us have nice things. I also felt like I had to respect everyone, no matter who or if they're torturing me in some way. This happend in 8th grade, when the vice principal started yelling at us since one student happened to push some adult. For all we know, he might've been late to class and didn't want to get punished. No good reason, I know, but he wasn't trying to hurt anyone. And this was yelling completely disproportionate to the situation, and since I "couldn't" cry, you can see where that led.
So, I reached high school. I thought I was in the clear, where I could start experiencing freedom. At this point I was close to broken completely and could at least have some relief after my years of hard work. Sadly, it didn't happen. Gained confidence throughout choir that first term, but was knocked down in an instant. We were tired, and I knew it wasn't the best we could do at that time. Still, I felt useless and a disgrace. Meanwhile, I was overworked in one particular class since I had very high expectations by the teacher (basically his pet). I didn't like the yelling in another class and felt nervousness since the core of the yelling was always there. Not even the one other class had full contentment, since many people thought of her as a weirdo. I did, however, go my confidence in math again. But only because I repeated them. But at that point it became clear that I wouldn't be the smartest. My identity shattered. Eventually, it came to a point where medical resistance (lol, sp) was needed. Couldn't go on with the same crap day in and day out until school ended for good for me, only to work at a dead end office job I didn't want to go into in the first place.
Sophmore year, we had ID tags. I eventually got the feeling that we were nothing more than dogs to the administration and were expected to obey every little thing. What's worse is that they were made for the purpose of our school fitting in with the others. And from then on, the noose of ridiculous rules got tighter and tighter. I would also start falling asleep in chemistry class unintentionally, since not caring about it was clearly overpowering my will to simply shut up and do it.
And that's the full story why I hate school. Note I didn't say I hate learning. I love learning. It's what made me happy in the first few years before I noticed the repetitiveness. However, school has made that curiosity so dulled that I never want to learn anything, even if it's relevant to what I want to do in life. But, normally before school starts, I have that curiosity come again. I can feel the want to learn. However, by that time I have to continue with school. In a way, school has gotten me to a bad start and could potentially ruin my life. I realize now just how detrimental school is when it comes to my well-being. I barely have friends, literally no real life social network, and helplessness of being someone else's subordinate for life. Then again, school made me feel that academics were more important than friends, when they could be the most important thing I could need.
I could have turned out a completely different, confident person IF I had some other form of schooling where I could go at my own pace, felt like a human and equal to my "teachers", and could learn the things that matter most to me. If it wasn't for the confidence that was taken from me from before, I would quit public school and go for the other methods that could work for many, many students for years to come.
This is obviously a type as I went post. I mean, this is pretty huge. But the story of my school life pretty much can show the detrimental effects school has that can literally rape an entire person's mentality. Of course, this is the story of one student.
There can be many happy, productive students instead of any of the other three combinations if needless compulsory education was rid of. I'm not saying no more school. I'm saying a better school. And might as well make sure students have the skills to make sentences and balance their accounts. I'll be honest. After all, basics are necessary for anyone.
And Didymus, stop being harsh on Wes. I hate school, even though I love learning. He does, too. What I'm guessing both of us want is to be educated in what we want to be educated in, instead of pointless, repetitive, and boring work. It may have worked when education was a luxury, but not in this day and age. While I don't think the situation may change in 10 or 20 years, I just hope and know that one day there will be an education system that is clearly in the correct century instead of the first. And I always believe in the worst.