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How would you feel when someone swears at you?
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Author:  Alexander [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:20 am ]
Post subject:  How would you feel when someone swears at you?
I would like to hear your comments before I post mine.

But the question I would like to ask is this. When someone uses language at you, how do you act? And to be more specific, what if it's someone you love and care for very much?

This is very important to me.
Author:  StrongRad [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:26 am ]
Post subject: 
I've been there, man..
It can hurt, depending on how they mean it. My friends call me some offensive names, but, since they mean it as a joke (it's fairly obvious that they are joking), it doesn't hurt, and it's rather funny, actually.

If it's someone you care about (parent/former fiance/best friend) using it in a very hurtful way, then there's no worse feeling that I know of.

The best way to deal with it is to just take it.. I mean it's nice if you can remove yourself from the situation, but don't do that if it'll make things worse (often the case with parents). Talking to them about it CAN help, if it's done right and at the right time (in the heat of battle is NEVER the RIGHT TIME).

I really wish I could help you more, but I'm afraid I'm rather useless. EVERY situation is different, and the things that helped me may hurt you.
I'll keep you in my prayers, though, man.
Author:  AwPi [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:37 am ]
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I don't like it at all when people use swearing unless it's in a joking mood, but even then sometimes it's inappropriate. I used to swear frequently without thinking twice about it, then I decided that there were so many other more intellegent words out there that I could use to portray the same or even a better use.

But when someone uses swearing in a definately negative way, I'm very offended and I decide that person is verbally violent and that they are not worth my time. If the person is important to me, I sit down and talk to them about thier language, but I tell them I can't make them change what they are saying, I would only prefer it if they did.
Author:  Didymus [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:38 am ]
Post subject: 
I hate that you're having to go through this crap, Alec. Really, I am sorry.
Author:  PianoManGidley [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:42 am ]
Post subject: 
I swear on occassion, either out of anger when I'm by myself (like when my computer is screwing up) or when I'm just joking around with friends. Yeah, I should probably watch my language...but it is a means of expression and communication. Swear words CAN serve their purpose to allow someone to know how much weight you're putting on a particular thing or situation--when used sparingly. I've known writers who cry out against censorship for this very reason--they select the language of their texts very carefully, and if they throw in a swear word, it's for a good reason in the storyline.
Author:  Blue [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:56 am ]
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My parents swear all the time, especially my Dad, but that's just how they talk, I think/hope. I really don't have any advice, but would what they were saying be any less hurtful if they hadn't sworn while saying it? Maybe I'm just desensitized to it (I must hear the F word at least twice a day.)
Author:  Jello B. [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 3:04 am ]
Post subject: 
Blue wrote:
(I must hear the F word at least twice a day.)

You haven't talked to Shippinator Mandy, then...

Personally, if they're insulting you, I don't think swearing makes it any worse. It's what they're saying that makes it hurtful, not how they're saying it.
Author:  Capt. Ido Nos [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 3:10 am ]
Post subject: 
I think that in the vast majority of all cases, swearing is virtually unneccesary. Yes, it can add emphasis to some things, but so can a plothora of other words that you can find in the dictionary or thesaurus. From what I've seen, swearing more often than not just make the swearer look stupider, because they're using a cheap filler instead of something more thought provoking and less vulgar.

Now, with people cursing at me, that carries a different tone. It can be very hurtful to hear somebody swear at you specifically. Sticks and stones aside, words to cut deeper than most think they could. While I'm not sworn at terribly often (and when it does happen, it's usually in a joking manner - and we both know that it's a joke, and it carries a different weight to it). I try to keep a reign on my tongue, which can be pretty difficult, considering the saltiness of my peer's vocabs. I still cringe though, when I hear particular swears. People just shouldn't be saying certain things. Some people can cry freedom of speech, but vulgarity isn't covered in that phrase. I always love it when people make the effort for stay polite.
Author:  Alexander [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 3:29 am ]
Post subject: 
StrongRad wrote:
If it's someone you care about (parent/former fiance/best friend) using it in a very hurtful way, then there's no worse feeling that I know of.


I find that comment very interesting Strong Rad.


PanioMan, I will never understand how language will "add" to the content of a book. I make this statement becuase I myself am a writer. And having a very grand knowlege of words, there are many I know of that produce the same idea. And sometimes even better.

Swearing only hurts me. Jokes or not. It has a cold feeling that is the polar opposite of when I found Emily on Feburary 25th. It has a feeling of a shattering picture.

*internet connection to fail in 24 hours*
Author:  Shippinator Mandy [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 3:35 am ]
Post subject: 
Eh. I'm a VERY casual swearer (as Jello pointed out). I think I got that from my mom. But I just view them as words. Like Jello said, it's the message that REALLY matters, not the words. I've been far more hurt by simple insults than by swearing.
Author:  Beyond the Grave [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 3:41 am ]
Post subject: 
I swear like a bloody sailor, I am that person who will link different vulgarites together to make a chain swear. I think the longest chain swear I had was 20 words. So naturally I am not affected by swearing.
Author:  DESTROY US ALL! [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 4:08 am ]
Post subject: 
I typically swear only around friends, not aroudn family at all.
Aroudn friends it's just somethign to laugh about, having fun making up songs using only swear words can be great if you're comfortable with anything.

For me swear words are no different than other words. And I typicaly remove myself whenever my parents begin to yell at me no matter what words. Saying "moron" in the wrong way can be a lot more hurtful towards me than a casual swear word thrown my way.

But using them more often only helps soften the blow of the words. Keeping them shut up in a closet will only make the next time you hear the word even worse. I prefer overexposure to underexposure when it comes to language. In other things in that area I have different views, but that's for another discussion.

I have friends that will turn off the radio if they hear a swear word, I have friends that will do just the opposite. Swear words in music don't affect me at all unless over used, then it just makes the song sound ignorant. But around my grandma I'm not going to listen to The Misfits.
Author:  ButtdanceHR [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 4:30 am ]
Post subject: 
No, I don't swear. At all. I say 'crap' occasionally, and even then, my friends are like :eek: WHAT!!! I've tried to swear before, but just when I'm about to say it, all of a sudden my ability to speak fails. My throat tightens up until I say something else. It's just that my parents raised me well, and I'm very appreciative of it. My parents do swear sometimes, and I have to tell them not to, which is pretty funny.

But hearing cuss words directed towards me or anybody/thing else affects me in no such way. Mainly because they are so commonly used and overrated that they have become part of the human's natural vocabulary.
Author:  StrongRad [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 4:49 am ]
Post subject: 
I really think people are kinda missing the point of Alexander's question, though.. He was asking how you feel when someone is cursing at you...
Author:  Alexander [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:05 am ]
Post subject: 
Strong Rad is correct, that is the question I am asking.

*internet connection to fail in 23 1/2 hours*
Author:  Schmelen [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 8:55 am ]
Post subject: 
I really hate swearing...
Which is not good, because lots of people really close to me swear all the time. Oh well, it's not my place to go telling people to stop being offensive, that happens enough for me to know it doesn't work. Just makes them all angry.
Author:  Code J [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 10:02 am ]
Post subject: 
It doesn't really affect me when someone swears. I mean, sure, it is offensive, and they have a lot of meaning behind them, but think about it. They're just words. If someone is calling me something offensive, I usually just laugh about it. Then if they keep doing it, I can kinda just let it not bother me. But if they just overload the system I totally freak out. There's only so much I can take, ya know?
I swear occasionally, not A WHOLE BUNCH, but a little once every once in a while.

Alexander wrote:
PanioMan, I will never understand how language will "add" to the content of a book. I make this statement becuase I myself am a writer. And having a very grand knowlege of words, there are many I know of that produce the same idea. And sometimes even better.


Of course it can add to the book. If a regular, average Joe is in a dire situation and/or crisis, chances are he's going to be swearing. It adds to the authenticity of the book, to make it seem more realistic.
Author:  Choc-o-Lardiac Arrest [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 10:55 am ]
Post subject: 
simple: Curse back at them, and keep vollying more 1-ups until the other guy cant think of anything good.
Author:  just a username [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 11:39 am ]
Post subject: 
I don't care if anyone says a swear word to me. It's just language, not a gun.
Author:  Prof. Tor Coolguy [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 12:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
Beyond the Grave wrote:
I swear like a bloody sailor, I am that person who will link different vulgarites together to make a chain swear. I think the longest chain swear I had was 20 words. So naturally I am not affected by swearing.


Hahaha! BTG, you win the Internets for today. That was funny.



Alexander wrote:
*internet connection to fail in 23 1/2 hours*


Huh? Am I missing something here? This makes no sense.
Author:  Choc-o-Lardiac Arrest [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 12:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Beyond the Grave wrote:
I swear like a bloody sailor, I am that person who will link different vulgarites together to make a chain swear. I think the longest chain swear I had was 20 words. So naturally I am not affected by swearing.

well, we must have been made from the same block of wood. longest chain swear i got was 14 and a half. by half, i mean i got right in the middle of female dog and got punched.
Author:  StrongRad [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Choc-o-Lardiac Arrest wrote:
simple: Curse back at them, and keep vollying more 1-ups until the other guy cant think of anything good.

Yea... That's REALLY mature. Who woulda thought that getting down on their level is the way to be better than them?

I think Alexander's problem is that someone is saying really bad things to him and he really can't (and/or doesn't want to) say anything like that back at them, to which I say, sometimes, you gotta just take it (as hard as it is to do this) with a grain of salt. It isn't easy, especially with his situation, but sometimes you gotta suck up your pride and take it, knowing (or hoping, sometimes hope is pretty powerful) that the person does not really want to hurt you, but is just trying to vent frustration and doesn't know a better way (just keep that part to yourself, though).
Author:  Duecex2 [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
I don't swear that much, and when I do, it's very mild. I don't drop F-bombs very often. Not as many people swear as often in my grade as they did in 6th grade(it was considered cool). When people swear at me, and they mean it, I just get annoyed. My friends, though, they always joke around like that.
Author:  Badri3211 [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 4:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Swearing, for me, is a very irresponsible thing to do. Espicially that to the god.
Author:  Jitka [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
I don't use bad language, personally, but it's been so prevalent at my school (I must hear the F-word 200 times a day) that it no longer fazes me.
Author:  No Toppings [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 10:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Foul language dosen't bother me. At all.

They're words. If you told a man who knew no english to go f*** off, he wouldn't understand, just as a man who knows no spanish is unphased by the phrase "comes mierda."

A word is only bad if you want it to be. If you lose all desire to censor yourself, then these "swear" words lose all meaning but the textbook definition. So if you really don't want someone saying these forbidden words, all you have to do is stop considering them bad, and whaddya know, no more bad words!
Author:  Marshmallow Roast [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 11:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
It's what you say, not how you say it.

Yes, you wouldn't guess if you've never seen me anywhere but the Forum, but I swear a heck of a lot. I almost swore there, even. It's just how I am.
Author:  Alexander [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 11:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
No Toppings wrote:
A word is only bad if you want it to be. If you lose all desire to censor yourself, then these "swear" words lose all meaning but the textbook definition. So if you really don't want someone saying these forbidden words, all you have to do is stop considering them bad, and whaddya know, no more bad words!


But what about sin?

If everyone stated that sin wasn't bad in anyway, and I accepted the idea that every kind of sin wasn't wrong, would it be right?

No Toppings, I respect you very much, but I'm afraid that advice wasn't very helpful to me.
Author:  No Toppings [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 11:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
Alexander wrote:
No Toppings wrote:
A word is only bad if you want it to be. If you lose all desire to censor yourself, then these "swear" words lose all meaning but the textbook definition. So if you really don't want someone saying these forbidden words, all you have to do is stop considering them bad, and whaddya know, no more bad words!


But what about sin?

If everyone stated that sin wasn't bad in anyway, and I accepted the idea that every kind of sin wasn't wrong, would it be right?

No Toppings, I respect you very much, but I'm afraid that advice wasn't very helpful to me.


Sin is action, which can have ramification. The basis of sin is that someone is going to be VERY unhappy when you do it, if not by the action itself, but by the concequences that follow. If sin were acceptable, and someone just went and killed someone, their loved ones would have a problem with that, right? That's, in my perspective, why sin is considered wrong, because the concequences of the sin will effect not only you, but many around you negativley.

Words are words. There's not going to be any long term physical or moral damage due to what someone says to or about you. Nobody is going to die, have accidental pregnancy or get divorced because you insulted someone. Sin and swears are two different things. If there were no restrictions on swear words, would there be any ramifications? Would anyone be caused long term grief?

Is it really wrong to swear at someone when swearing isn't really swearing any more? If there are no rules about it to be enforced, and nobody has a problem with it, how is it wrong.

If you sin, someone is going to detest, no matter what you do. Otherwise it would not be sin. Sin can NOT be generally accepted, which is why it is wrong, there will always be someone who is unhappy. But swearing doesn't have to be offensive. Swearing doesn't have to be another problem in our society.
Author:  Didymus [ Wed Jun 14, 2006 11:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
The basis of sin is that someone is going to be VERY unhappy when you do it, if not by the action itself, but by the concequences that follow.

Yes, and the primary person who would be so offended is God himself.

Quote:
Words are words. There's not going to be any long term physical or moral damage due to what someone says to or about you.

Not according to Scripture. (James 1:26, 3:5-9, not to mention Ex 20:7).

Whether you wish to acknowledge it or not, words do have power. With them, you can crush someone's spirits, or lift them out of dark despair. And no one knows that better than someone in my profession.

Quote:
But swearing doesn't have to be offensive. Swearing doesn't have to be another problem in our society.

But it is offensive. Just because some people get sensitized to it does not make it acceptible. I don't find it acceptible.
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