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 Post subject: Love triangles, polyamory
PostPosted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 5:11 pm 
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I've rather suddenly found myself in a love triangle. In other words, I'm one of three people who all love each other. (A more precise and proper term would be "ménage à trois".) This is, of course, a controversial sort of relationship in the modern Western world, as is the general idea of polyamory, the idea that a person can love multiple partners. So I'm curious about what people here think of it. I certainly find it a little emotionally confusing right now, but that can happen in any kind of relationship.

While I am an atheist, I don't mind discussion of religious aspects of this issue as well (but please do respect my beliefs and don't tell me I'm going to Hell for them; I already know, thanks ;)).

- Kef


Last edited by furrykef on Sat Jul 29, 2006 6:51 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 5:56 pm 
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ABP'd - more or less.

But my opinion - I've seen more cases of love triangles ending miserably than I've seen survive. Well, I've never seen any love triangles that have survived.

Hmm, I think that there's probably a good reason why you don't see it too often. But that's not to say that you can't make it work. I would just be wary..... but that's just me.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 6:20 pm 
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oh, heh, silly me for not noticing the other thread... although polygamy is more of an issue of marriage, and polyamory is a matter of love, but the two tend to get lumped in together.

- Kef


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 6:49 pm 
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Well, considering that I--and many others--believe that marriage should only happen between people who are in love with eachother, polygamy would be the obvious result of polyamory.

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 12:57 am 
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That makes sense, PianoMan, but only if you assume that a person marries every person with whom they fall in love. Relationships often don't work out, for one reason or another. I've been in love more than once myself, but I've never been married.

I see what you mean, though. Assuming that polygamy is only a result of polyamory. Unfortunately, that isn't always the case.


I think you're in an interesting situation, Kef. I don't see anything wrong with it, myself. So long as all of you are happy, I think it's great. I'd worry about the eventual possibility of a breakup, though. I know how hard a breakup of two people can be... What happens when you throw in a third? I wish you all the best.

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 1:22 am 
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It all depends, are you getting possessive?

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 2:11 am 
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I'm never possessive.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 5:03 am 
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While Didymus will undoubtably say what I'm about to say far more eloquently and intelligently, I'll take a shot. I think that one man for one woman is what God intended. In Matthew 19:6, while teaching about marriage Jesus said "they are no longer two, but one flesh". The survivors of the Flood were four monogamous couples. Adam and Eve were monogamous; polygamy originated in the descendants of Cain. While I don't know as much about the Bible as some, I think what little I have found points towards monogamy as what God intended in respect to marriage.

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 5:58 am 
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Polygamy was never portrayed as something good in the Bible. Abraham and Sarah were just great until they brought in Hagar. And get this: it was Sarah's idea! o.O But once Sarah was in the picture, there was nothing but conflict, and eventually, it ended up with Hagar and her child abandoned in the desert. I'd just hate to know what kind of conversations Sarah and Abraham had about that afterwards.

(Incidentally, I had a friend that this happened to, and he is currently getting a divorce because of the long-term problems that resulted).

Jacob was also (quite reluctantly) a polygamist, and there was nothing but conflict between his wives because of it. And that conflict carried over into his children as well, leading some of the brothers to abduct and sell into slavery the first-born son of Jacob's favorite wife.

Now, I don't quite understand how such a triangular relationship can work. But then again, I haven't exactly made it a point to study up on this particular subject. At least, not from any other perspective than that of pastoral care (such as with the case of my aforementioned friend). But I do know that Christians are discouraged from seeking such relationships in the New Testament.

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