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COLA!

He seems pretty intent on killing you. You're waaaaay too beat up to fight, so you'll have to bargain.

What do ye?

1:Offer COLA the remains of your sammich. (good)
2: Fleee! (neuteral)
3: Bribe him. (evil)

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Bribe him:

With every ounce o' strength, you pull a gold dubloon from your pocket & offer it to COLA in exchange for:

1. Your sammitch
2. Your life being spared
3. That dern Chaos Emerald!

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3: That dern Chaos Emerald!

Cola throws you the Emerald, kicks you in the shins, and walks away.

What would thoust deau?
(remember, you're still really beat up)

1: use the Emerald to fly awwwwway! (neuteral)
2: use the Emerald to feed starving children in China (good)
3: use the Emerald to summon Hilary Duff (pathetic)

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You summon Hilary Duff. She a splodes. Exept for her spleen.

1. Summon Jinzo to put her together (good)
2. Make out with her spleen. (weird)
3. Put her together yourself (Bad)

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

1: Summon Jinzo to put her back together.

You do, but he kinda botches it. Hilary Duff now looks like Linday (spelling?) Lohan. Oh snap! As Clan, devout Duff fanboy, it is your duty to destroy this monstrosity.
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What you do?
(you're still beat up)

1: FIGHT! (good)
2: crawl away! (neuteral)
3: distract her (also neuteral)

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FIGHT!

You attack with a level 5 Dark MAgician, but she counters with a BettleBug magic card and takes out 1500 of your life points with Jar of Bacon.

Wachoo gonn deau?

1)Settle for Lindsday(sp?) and keep her as your pet rabbit.(retarded)
2)Headbutt her chest(retarded)
3)Screw this and eat some YuGiOh cereal.

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Do what Ol' Raddy would do and screw it, since you don't want to hurt Hilary Duff.

Instead of having Yu-Gi-Oh! cereal, you settle in for Captain Crunch.
After having breakfast, you:
1. Play Shadow the Hedgehog on the good side. (Good)
2. Play Shadow the Hedgehog on the evil side. (Evil)
3. Play Shadow the Hedgehog on the neutral side. (Neutral)

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3: Play on the Eeeeevil side.

You do so. Remember, you're still at the bottom of a cliff, beaten up, but you still manage to find a TV and game system somehow.

Anyway, your playing of the evil side attracts some evil types. Of eeeevil.
"Heeey, man. This is our turf" one of them says.
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What to do?

1: Fight! (good, but not a good idea, 'cos you're still beaten up)
2: Crawl away! (neuteral)
3: Offer to join their side (awesome...I mean evil)

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Offer to join their side.

They're not really looking for recruits. In fact, one of them shoves his foot into your stomach in a very non-gentle manner.

What do you do?

1. Summon Pikachu (good, but somewhat lame).
2. Summon the ghost of Rather Dashing (neutral, but very lame).
3. Summon the ghost of General Tsao's Chicken (evil, but also somewhat lame).

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2: Summon the ghost of Rather Dashing.

He appears before you, and, mistaking you for an item, types "GET CLAN" and puts you in his inventory.
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You're inside the Inventory Dimension. Wow, this must be where RPG characters store all their stuff. Items of all sorts float around you.

do you....

1: grab a potion to heal yourself (good)
2: float around the endless void (pointless)
3: grab some weapons and BUST THE PLACE DOWN! (awesome)

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You grab yourself several Katanas (after all, the name of this mysterious dimension is Katana Space). You attack the fabric of Space and Time, and break through the inventory dimension into regular space again. Only now, you're stuck in Thy Dungeonman I've contemplated (and actually attempted) suicide before, and I've never gotten a clear, solid answer if I'm going to hell if it actually works,
II. Ye flask is still right there, even after all these sequals:

1. Make one more attempt to get ye flask, despite previous efforts (totally lamelicious).
2. Use Katana on flask (neutral, but who knows what hilarity might result).
3. Kill Thy Dungeonman (evil, but way more hilarious).

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2.Use Katana on flask.

You slice the Flask off the wall with one clean stroke, and then grab it. You've finally got the flask!

You drink it. It is....

1: Essence of Carebear. (good, you loser)
2: B33R. (neuteral)
3: Evil brew. (eeeevil)

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Listen you, Listen all of you freaks, I DONT WANT MY NAME TO BE UTTERED OR USED IN THIS STUPID GAME.

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2. It's a brewski

You are sitting with three people with a flask full of beer. Who do you share it with?

1. StrongRad(good)
2. Uncle Didy(neutral)
3. Ninti(evil)

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Strong Rad. He says, "Thank you." What do you do?
Say:
1. "Your welcome." (such a good well mannered boy)
2. "I love Hilary Duff and Jinzo!" (Okay?)
3. "F*** off!" (such an evil bad mannered boy)

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

You say "Your welcome." He quotes the Strong Bad's Rhythm and Grammar song "Your/You're," and pwns you. Whatcha do?

1. Admit your failings and do something interesting (Good)
2 Just do something interesting (Neutral)
3 Say that StrongRad is dumb and continue doing boring crap (Ebil)

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2. Do something interesting.

You chug the rest of the b33r, and then wander off. You then promptly collapse.
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You're outside the Thy Dungeonman dungeon. You're still beaten up, and now you're drunk.

What to do?

1: stagger around. (neuteral)
2: Call for help. (good)
3: Call Thy Dungeonman over, and drunk-punch him until he's punch-drunk. (evil)

Okay, geez, sorry.

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You start beating on Thy Dungeonman. But apparently, he has more hit points than you do, so he beats the everloving crap out of you with his Mop +3.

You awake and find your inventory empty. What do you do:

1. Get ye flask (what the crap?)
2. Talk to Huuuuuudge (gross)
3. Summon Creepy Burger King (Jibbly)

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3. Summon Creepy Burger King.

He appears before you. "WHAT DO YOU DESIRE, MORTAL?"

1: A burger (neuteral)
2: Happiness! (good, loser)
3: POWER! (eeevil.)

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You get yourself a nice juicy Whopper with extra cheese. You can just feel the cholesterol coursing through your veins, hardening your arteries, and filling you with...
BURGER POWER!

What do you do?

1. Drink all Deutch Man's Room Temerature Ones (bratwurst)
2. Challenge Simon Cowell to a CHALLEEEEEEENGE! (Idol)
3. Hadoken Fighter (Black Mage)

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Didy, you're a 8-bit Theater fan? That's awesome.

3: Hadoken Fighter

You look around for a Fighter to Hadoken. Unfortunatly, the only fighter you can find is Thy Dungeonman. So, yeah, you blast the crap out of him. Only one problem though: With Thy Dungeonman dead, the game ends! You're hurled out of the dungeonman dimension, and into the endless void between dimensions.
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Where do you go?

1: a shiny-looking dimension (good)
2: a nasty looking dimension (evil)
3: a gooey-looking dimension (eww, neuteral)

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You like shiny! Unfortunately, so do unsophisticated people. You are now in a universe of rednecks. What do you do?

1. Trade them your shiny keys for a dimension transporter(good)
2. Tell them they're rednecks (not good, but not bad)
3. Shoot them all. That's how they take care of stuff (bad)

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

You start a Down Home Shoot 'Em Up Frenzy! YEEE-HAW! [music = very banjo]

All the rednecks kill each other except for the last one. And he accidentally shoots an overhanging branch, which promptly falls on his head, leaving him befuddled by the tiny birds fluttering around his head. Do you:

1. Steal his wallet (Evil, and not too productive).
2. Steal his fried chicken (cholesterol).
3. Flirt with his Sister Mom (Jibbly).

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1: Steal his wallet.

Hmm. Not a good idea. A wallet gnome with a shotgun jumps out and yell "YA'LL BEST KEEP OFFA MAH MASTER'S MONIES, Y'HEAR?"
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Oh crap. He looks pretty angry. People talking in ALL CAPS are usually angry.

What to do?

1: squish him under your thumb! BWAHAHA. (evil)
2: give him something shiny so he'll go away (neuteral)
3: try to make peace with him (good, but not a good idea)

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Try to make peace with him.

You try to, only to identify him as a Kerrek. What do you do?

1. Run away! (Neutral)
2. Buy Kerrek a cold one! (Good)
3. Laugh at him and get pounded to the ground. (Evil)

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2: Buy him a cold one!

Baad idea, Clan. He's a teetotaler, remember? He trys to shotgun you, but misses and blows a hole in the dimension. You're sucked down the hole with a sickening slurping sound as the Redneck Dimension collapses behind you.
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You're back at the void between dimensions again.
Where now, genius?

1: float around aimlessly and wait for something to come by (neuteral)
2: enter the gooey-looking dimension (good, I guess)
3: enter the nasty-looking dimension (evil)

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Gooey-looking dimension!

You enter this dimension, to find it is a teleporter! You end up in the Sonic Dimension. Which zone do you wish to go to?

1. Carnival Night Zone (Good)
2. Marble Garden Zone (Neutral)
3. Scrap Brain Zone (Evil)

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Scrap brains. Unfortunately, the robotnik guy wants to scrap your brain. He comes in a cool looking machine. What do you do?

1. Surrender (good)
2. Fight with honor (neutral)
3. Grand-theft auto! (bad)

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

Grand theft auto!

You find yourself to find you're actually in Castle Oblivion! Scrap Brain Zone wasn't existent. You see some stairs and a Chaos Emerald.

You:
1. Go upstairs. (Neutral)
2. Get the Chaos Emerald. (Good)
3. Laugh at how pitiful Marluxia is. (Evil)

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2: Get the Chaos Emerald.

You do so. Oh, did I forgot to mention that the emerald is floating OUTSIDE the castle? 'Cos it is. You jump out the window to get it.

W
H
E
E
E
....SPLAT.
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When you come to, you're surrounded by guards. What now, genius?

1: Talk with them (good)
2: Insult them and run (neuteral)
3: FIGHT! (evil, but a bad idea)

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