Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

What it says. Think of a weird word problem.

If joe needs to type a 1000 word essay, can type 50 words per minute, and has 3 hours to do the essay, why did he wait to do an essay 3 hours before it was do?

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Because he has horrible spelling!

Mike has 4 apples. John comes up, shoots Mike and takes the apples. Where did the bullet hit?

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(THE ABOVE USER HAS BEEN BANNED)

It hit Mike... somewhere...

ChickenLeg's sig.

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None: he took them to Cassius's house and made apple pie with them, but Antony stole them from the window sill to give them to Augustus "Gloop" Caesar to eat, so they retired to the provinces, married, somehow had fifty children and a strict NO-APPLE POLICY in their household.

(that sig was the first thing I thought of when I saw this thread)

If you fly to Hawaii to fill up your lava lamp with real lava, and you fly back at 600mph on a flight that usually takes 10 hours or something (I don't know how much it really takes.. it only took 2 hours to watch Snakes on a Plane so maybe that's how long it is.. anyway..), assuming the lava eats through your lamp at the rate of .3 mol/min, at what point in the security line will you spontaneously combust?

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ATTN: LOWER BOARD USERS HAVE MOVED TO ANOTHER FORUM. COME JOIN THE FUN!

just at the point when you take off your lava-proof shoes and put on those really nice itialian leather ones that Uncle Kenny got for you at Bergdorf Goodman last christmas, but you never really wore them because you had no occassion.


If i walk around with both of my shoes untied for three hours at a rate of 80 steps/minute, how much does the probability of my falling increasse with every step, AND how many times should i fall on my face...statistically, that is.

Your possibility for falling over is (steps(pi(steps/7)))%, and you should fall on your face starting with your 15th step, resulting in a hilarious 14,386 face-falls. Duh.

In exactly 2 hours, 51 minutes, and 38.193 seconds, how much wood could a woodpecker peck 'cause a woodpecker can peck wood?

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ZEEKY BOOGY DOOG

*winner of RAF9*

A woodpecker would peck about 3 trees, plus a large stump.

When a lion roars, all animals within a 3 mi. radius hear it, but what do the tree's hear?

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(THE ABOVE USER HAS BEEN BANNED)

The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind.

You're driving a bus.



3 people get on at the first stop, 8 times that many get on at the second stop, and the number of people who get on on the third stop is equal to the number of the first two stops divided by two, plus three, and minus one half.

If 7 more than that get on at each consecutive stop for 26! (factorial, not an exclamation point) stops, what color are the bus driver's eyes?

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The trees cant have ears, and since Prop 234 wasnt passed, they wont have ears anytime soon.

If Jane baked an apple pie, and her dad wants Janes piece half as big as her brothers piece, how can she get her brother in trouble enough to not get a iece of apple pie?

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Depends on whether the driver is Frank Sinatra or a wolf. If the former, then blue; if the latter, then yellow.

If 15 college students can take 15 showers in 15 minutes, then how long does it take 15 college students to realize that they need to take 15 showers in 15 minutes?

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Um, about 3 hours. At least, about.

If a tree falls in a forest, hits a guy named Hank, and quacks, what size are Hank's feet?

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ZEEKY BOOGY DOOG

*winner of RAF9*

*Bubble smeared*

How many pickled peppers can Peter Piper pick if a mind flayer is sucking his mind out at 10 IQ points/min? Please show all work and round your answer to four significant figures.

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0.0000, 'cause pickled peppers went extinct 20 years ago.

Oscar had a heap of apples. Alpha had a heap of oranges. If Kilo steals half of each heap plus half an apple and half an orange every day for seven days, leaving nothing at the end of the seventh day, how PO'ed will Oscar and Alpha be when they find out? Or will they even be alive, since they are themselves an orange and an apple?

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They will be so PO'd that-Oh, no! Time's up! I have to hand in the test. Um....23?

If a piano has 61 keys, and Timmy is 4 years old, how annoyed will Timmy's parents be after 10 minutes of Timmy banging on all the keys a minimum of 47 times per key?

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Timmy's parents' aggravation increases exponentially by a factor of 4-x, x representing the number of keys struck per second.

The answer, of course, is 42.

Triangle ABC has side lengths AB=3, BC=4, and CA=5. What is the sum of the interior angles of ABC?

{ I hate trick questions like these. }

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get LOST

If you explode triangle ABC and use the pieces to make a bunny rabbit, the answer is 54+4920 divided by 0. Of course, dividing by zero sucks you into a black hole, so it doesn't matter.

If Bob goes to 4chan at 2:00 and sees 60 anime pictures on the first page of /b/, and if a 4channer posts a horrible picture that makes people want to stab their eyes out at 2:42, at a new topic generation rate of 24 per minute and an age rate of 340 per minute, how long will it be until Bob runs off screaming and kills his computer?

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collect package; save adorable cat; you're really gullible.

Three seconds.

Given Figure 7.4, what is the sine of A?

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A pink anime cat.

If Timmy curses because he lost The Game, what is the probability of Baby Kim learning every swear word possible and repeating them at a high-class dinner party 2 days later?

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collect package; save adorable cat; you're really gullible.

The party was cancelled.

If Willy ON WHEELS! can vandalize the entire Wikipedia in 2 minutes, and Bill WITHOUT WHEELS! can vandalize the entire Wikipedia in 3 minutes, how many people will continue to use Wikipedia as a reference source afterwards?

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42.

If Timmy got 3 apples from Jim, and Jim got 4 apples from Tara, and Tara got 5 apples from the 4Chan Party Van, what is the chance that Jim gets run over by the 4Chan Party Van on Christmas Eve?

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collect package; save adorable cat; you're really gullible.

possible.



If 15 peaple take over the world, how peaple stand up to them?

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Let us assume there are fifteen billion people in the world. At this rate, only twenty would stand up to them.

If one train is moving at 85mph and another train at 59mph, while they are moving towards each other (starting from a distance of 240 miles) why did you steal my pencil?

Because it was shiny.

If Kat drives to Point A at 40 miles an hour and Juan drives to Point A at 20 miles an hour, how long will it take before Kat runs over someone?

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collect package; save adorable cat; you're really gullible.

An hour and a half. At most.

If Alphonse has 27 doorknobs, and Benedict has 1782 small round paisley things that go "poing", and Cecelia has 37 oranges, and Daisy has a bajillion apples, then how many monkeys can Ethel fit in a barrel if the barrel is 1.82 meters high, has a base 80 centimeters in diameter, and is 3 feet wide at its widest point?

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"Japanese cartoons are weird, man! Though I may be on to something with that blue hair."

20 million tiny monkeys.

If Jim is older than Mark, and Mark is younger than Susie, and Bill is taller than Frank, and Joe is uglier than Jim, and Mary is better at tap dancing than Joe, and Fred has a higher IQ than Steve, and Chester A. Arthur was the 21st President of the United States, then how many singing cows does Rachel have in her pocket?

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None. Either that, or I'm deaf.

If there are 12 inches in a foot, 3 feet in a yard, and 1,760 yards in a mile, how much is 2+2?

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1111.




if there are 9 letters in lundibruim, how do you pronouse it and whats 3*3*9*$45

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23.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Dum-Dum Pop?

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Who cares? The taste of a paper lollipop stick isn't really all that great compared to Tootsie Rolls. I've tried. Trust me.

How many tall glasses of melonade could a Homestar Runner drink if a Homestar Runner could drink tall glasses of melonade?

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About 125 considering that's my age.
If JoeyDay goes beserk every tuesday and it's a monday, and it's raining vanilla pudding outside, and you just ate a pickle, and your grandpa just had a stroke and each mod took about 3 aspirins today. how long will it be before twain comes back from the dead and writes a cruddy version of the adventures of tom sawyer (remix) and it ruins his career and goes bankrupt and has to crawl back into his grave.

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If I had posted during the time of COVID, COLA woulda called me worse than the virus.