Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

Yog Sothoth takes a bath. Now all the fish in the lake are dead, and the Old Man at the Inn starves to death. But on the plus side, You Receive Item: Large Pile of Dead Fish.

Type: Throw spoons and yell "BORK BORK BORK!"

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Reply: You have thoroughly BORK'D the Old Man. He doesn't get into the Supreme Court now. Let's all laugh at his failure, shall we?

Command: Eat that eyeball pear!

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i am sorry, i don't know 'eyeball pear'.

go to nearest McDonalds

I order 2 Big Macs, without cheese, and Super-sized fries. For a 14 year old, this is truly amazing at how Clan survives.

Command: Get Cthulhu to eat COLA the next time he decides to PM me a crappy YTMND.

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Just for that, you're no longer his doge. You have to move back in with Einoo and Funky.

Type: Put Clown in Shark Tank.

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Reply: You toss the clown in ye old Shark Tank. The shark devours the clown, but soon spits him up because sharks don't like the taste of clown noses. The clown chases you around and around. CHASED BY A HALF-EATEN CLOWN'D!

Command: Chat with Jhonka.

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Reply: The jhonka tells you of his past love life, and he tells you that he misses his old life, and he thinks he is a failure. How sad.

Command: Throw baby again.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

Reply: At what? I mean, you can't just throw a baby anywhere.

Command: Saw a pigion in half with a stick.

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That is virtually impossible. Use something sharper next time.

Command (a): Vote for Clan as president of H*R Wiki!!!!
Command (b): Bow down to the Yoshis!

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Oh well. At least you didn't vote for Funk. That woulda been... creepy.

Command: Buy me a new car.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Combolations! You are now the proud owner of an Edsil. Have fun!

Type: Chop down tallest tree with herring.

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Reply: A herring?

Well, you try. And you fail. Then these weird guys start shouting "Ni" at you and make you feel awkward.

Command: Allez Cuisine!

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You challenge Queenie C to a Yellow Bell Pepper Eating Contest. The starting pistol fires, and you start chomping them down as quickly as possible. When the finishing buzzer goes off, you have eaten 243 yellow bell peppers, which is only 242 more than Queenie. But she still wins, even after only eating one. Why? Because she looked way cuter than you when she ate hers (big surprise there!). So you lose the Gold Cup Full Of Steak-Umm's, and now all the guys on the forum are leching her (even Didymus, who usually never leches).

Type: Give Steak-Umm Trophy to Knight.

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You gave it to the Knight, the Knight was offended because the Steak-Umm Trophy insulted his country, he tries to stab you.

Type: Pray for mercy

Jesus appears. The knight still stabs you, but at least your eternal destiny is secure. GAME OVER! YOU LOSED!

Type: Hit "Puree" button on Alternate Dimension Portal Device.

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Ye findethes yeself in the pure dimension.

Type: Rock out.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

you throw the rock out your front door. good riddance!

go to nearest shop, buy a can of salty plum soda

You spend all your GP on the soda. But when you drink it, you regain all your HP and MP. Too bad this is a text adventure and not an MMORPG.

Type: Give KISS (the user, not a smooch) to Deep Sea Fangly Fish.

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you try, but you die due to the water pessure.

Get Clan to shut up

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Wow, It's been like three or 4 years since I've last been here

You shoot Clan. Unfortunately, he comes back as always. So you kill him and put Hilary Duff, Jinzo, and a Chaos Emerald in Heaven so he won't come back.

Vote for caramel corn

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

You vote for the Carmel Corn. Unfortunately, Jack Bauer finds out. It's the last vote you cast.

Command: Get Forum members to GROW UP!

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Granted but all of the users become really tall but their maturity levels remain the same.


Command: Tell Trogador to make Peking Duck.

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Reply: Troggie prepares the duck 'till it's ready to cook. To roast it, he uses his flame breath. Unfortunately for you, Trogdor roasts you as well. Guess you really have been BURNINATED!

Command: Cut that meat! Cut that meat!

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We did. We made so many NYStrip Steaks you give 'em all to the KoT.

Command: Add Vexen to the list of people who tell what they think.

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reply: Does not compute.

Command: Give Didymus an atomic wedgie

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Nice try, pal! Ye reacheth down to grabbeth Didymus Maximus' shorts, only to get your hand bitten by a rat trap. And you don't even get a piece of cheese to go with it! That'll learn ya!

Type: Taunt Kerrek.

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Reply: You taunt the Kerrek by doing a dance in front of him. You keep laughing at him and you feel like you're the kind of the world. However, the Kerrek walks toward you. You seem to have forgotten the Kerrek was a rather large and powerful fellow. HEAD POUND'D!

Command: Suplex Baby Lady

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As soon as you make the attempt, the Baby Lady pulls a super-fast Ju Jitsu maneuver and puts you on the ground. She promptly stomps on your face several times. That'll learn ya. BEAT'D UP BY A GIRL'D!!

Type: Attack Jones with Yellow Submarine.

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He just gets his butt stuck. Now the WalMart guy is going to have to climb in the other side and push him out. The WalMart guy is going to get stuck. Jones will have to climb in and push him out. Jones gets stuck... See the pattern?
INFINITE LOOP'D!

Command: Take my Atmospheric Radiation test for me.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

The Old Man takes the test. But for some idiotic reason, all his answers are old man related stuff, like, "Hip Ointment" and "Geritol" and "Ensure." Needless to say, he doesn't pass the exam.

Type: Feed etouffe to alligator man.

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