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You attempt to feed the etouffe to the 'gator man. StrongRad steals it, though, and runs off into the woods, eating it all the while.
StrongRad comes back out of the woods and asks "got any Jambalaya?"

Command: Drink happy drink

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You chug several Chocolate Chip Margaritas. You are VERY happy now. Unfortunately, the police don't appreciate the "Lampshade Song" so much, but they very politely invite you to sing it with them down at the station with them. After you put your pants back on.

Type: SBLounchsk!

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Good move. Y2K Turns out alright. Even though you won't be alive to see it, the residents of the future will be happy.

Command: Throw hot soup on Didymus

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Didymus counters by pouring hot coffee over your head.

Type: Kill that snake thingy that StrongRad PM'd.

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You kill the snake thingy by running over it with a lawn mower.
Locks of Love can't make any wigs from it.
The kidlets revolt.
You've done it now.

Command: Main screen turn on

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

The main screen activates. The Klingons are headed straight for you, firing all their photon torpedoes and plasma cannons. You're pretty much screwed, but at least you get a good view of the action.

Type: Give little mushroom man a burger.

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You go to Soul Burger and get him a Big Daddy Burger.
The lady at the counter calls you a cutie patootie.
Mushroom man eats the burger. The 'Itus sets in.
He falls asleep. You take his hat.


Command: mmm pie!

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Mmmmm! Pie. Pie pie pie pie pie pie pie.
PIE!!!
When come back, bring pie!

Command: You start feeling dizzy... you feel dizzy... you feel sleepy... you feel very sleepy... you're asleep... you won't notice me taking your wallet...

You try that little maneuver on the Kerrek. He's not terribly impressed with your hypnotist act, nor with your pickpocketing skills. Do I really have to spell out for you what happens next? I'll give you a hint: CRUNCH!

Type: Attack Nanna's Back Yard.

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She's got a guard dog. There's a huge hole in your pants now. And your lower back bleeds.

Type: Press the windows key, press up, press enter, press enter.

You turn your puter off. The land of Peasantry disappears. But you were still in the game, so you disappear into the land of nothingness. Now you have to wait for your annoying little brother to turn the game on and try to play Peasant's Quest before you can get back out, and he's not going to. He prefers to play Pajama Sam.

Type: Wear underwear outside of trousers.

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Ta-daa! Wearing your pants and underpants in this combination keeps other people away. Finaly some peace and quiet!

Type: Forget to put your face and your hands on when you get out of bed.

OH NOES!! How can you use your powers for Awexome?

Type: Pour Kerrek into Hitler and wash thoroughly.

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Umm... yeah.... I'm gonna need you to not ever combine those things again.
You mentioned Hitler. You lose the internet. Please turn in your soul, your mouse, and all of your kool-aid points immediately. You can keep the company underwear, though. Actually, PLEASE keep the company underwear.


Command: Wait for it.... wait for iiiiit......

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Total Rofflage! Almost as funny as those "Homeland Security" remarks I made to BTG.

*DOINK! TING! PTFFPT!* (chuckling sounds in background). And I guess that's the way...the cookie crumbles!

Type: SURGE!

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Ye drink ye Surge! Ye heareth "Popeye the Sailor" playing in the background. Ye getteth 5 hp!

Type: Watch Late Night with Conan O'Barbarian.

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Your girlfriend says she would rather go to the store and buy bulk candy and play poker with it.

Type: jump on the couch.

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Ye jumpeth up and downeth on ye couch. Ye couch breaketh beneath thy excessive girth. That'll learneth thee!

Type: Give Meatball Sammich to Veggie Cart Dude.

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Veggie Cart Dude eats the sammich. Now what are you going to give the Trog Guardian?

Type: Give Butter-Da to Giant Flying Sghetti Monster?

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What a Sghetti Monster? A ghetto monster who can't spell? Aw, well. The monster is too ghetto for your Butter-Da, and killz y0u!

> ask for fake grease _ (enter)

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The Old Man reaches in his closet and gives you a big tub of Horse Grease. Now, instead of it falling on your head and catching on fire, you now have the tub in your inventory.

Type: Use Horse Grease on Old Gary.

PS: THIS is the Flying Sghetti Monster.

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You use the horse grease on the horse. That's just evil. Seriously. That's like a chicken omlet or feeding bacon to a pig. You're just one sick, umm, well, you're sick.

Command:Hit the open man on the give and go, and don't end up in the popcorn machine.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You hit the old man on the give and go, but that popcorn machine just appeared out of nowhere! Now all the kidlets will have extra-strong sweat flavored popcorn for supper. That thing sure is tricky to dodge!

Type: Use Pink Tie of All-Up-Ons +5 on Baby Lady.

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You get married to a strange blue girl. Now you have blue children. Your entire family is rejected from society forever. You now live off of grasshoppers and moss in some forest.

Command: Make sprite.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

You gather like a hundred Limons, juice them, mix them with lots of sugar, chemical additilves, and artificial preservatives, and put it all in some carbonated water. Combolations: you now have several gallons of Sprite.

Type: Give Butter-Da to nuclear-powered clown bot.

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The Butter Da is incompatible with the clown bot's Margerine Da powered nuclear reactor. A lot of bad things happen, but rather than go into detail, I'll just say that the entire universe was destroyed, painfully.

Command: Drink Sweet Tea.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You go to the fridge to pour yourself a nice tall glass, only to discover that little tiny blue people are in there drinking it all. PWN'D BY TEA FAERIES!!

Type: Look dress.

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AHH! RAMROD!


Command: Make a Doug the Dino cartoon

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int: dinosaur - day
go dougie!!
RAWR!!
toilet.

Command: Use +5 firecracker of kersplogenation to unclog toilet.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

That worked VERY well. Unfortunately, your downstairs neighbor, Mr. Hammerfist Gorillaman wasn't terribly pleased with the results - he was conducting his morning constitutional when you made your attempt. Needless to say, you get the everloving snot beated out of you. EVERLOVING SNOT BEAT'D OUT OF'D!!

Type: Give Wish Djinni a wedgie.

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