Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

StrongRad steals them from the old man, then climbs up into a tree, where he proceeds to eat them.
As you're walking by the tree, you hear him say "pull my finger". You oblige, and the tree bursts into flames.

Command: Get a basketball jones

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Ye tries to get a Basketball Jones, but yon Basketball Jones does not wish to be gotten. Ye arouses his anger. Yon Basketball Jones attacks. Where will ye hit? BASKET, BALL, or JONES?

Command: Hit ball.

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You cannot hit the ball. It's under the pillow (maybe that's why you can't sleep at night).

Command: Reveal the "Truth" about global warming

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Does ye really wants to know the "truthe" about Global Warming? Fine. Ye "truthe" about ye global warming is that ye human scientists maded it up. Ye global warming is a farse. That be ye "truthe."

Command: Eat Powercrunch.

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Reply: You power up! Exept that with that TV show, society accuses you of steroids! You are fired from flying through space in cool poses and forever seen as a bad children's role model.

Command: Go back in time one day

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

You end up right back in the middle of that Robots vs. Humans war again, and still get totally pwn'd by "teh meatsacks." AGAIN!

Type: Anal nathrak, uthvas bethud, do che-ol di-enve!

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Um... I'm-a have to go with "What is Wisconsin?". I'll take months that start with "Feb" for four hundred, alex.

Command: Stare into sun.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

FEBTOBER! [/sean'd connery]

Combolations. Your retinas are now fried. And you can't see the Kerrek running up behind you with his right shoe off. PUNT! You fly right through goalpost! The Kerreks Win the Superburle! The Kerreks Win the Superburle!

Type: Throw bottle of dehydrated clowns into lake.

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You throw the bottle of dehydrated clowns into hte lake. Fortunately for you, it's sealed rather well. That seal DOES eventually break down, though, several years in the future, during a Coulrophobics picnic at the lake. Too bad you've long since been burninated.

Command: Taunt happy fun ball.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

The dangerous carcenogenic chemicals in the Happy Fun Ball are now very angry with you. The Happy Fun Ball attacks you and gnaws your face off. The rest of you catches several different forms of cancer and dies a horrible, painful death. HAPPY FUN BALL - ONLY $14.95'D! Only at your local Wal-Mart.

Type: Lech PizzaTrophy.

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The trophy of pizza type person lechs you back. "AUGH! You're not supposed to look there!" you say. But that's what you get.

>command: Put on pink tie all up ons + 6

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

You don the tie. However, for some odd reason, the ladies don't seem to be all up ons. Maybe you should try Aerosol Deoderant of Not Smelling Like a Mutant Hog +5.

Type: Use complicated process that involves lots of cheese.

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You see StrongRad at your front door with all types scrambled eggs, tortilla chips, crackers, burgers, and bread.

Command: Use blender of non-suckiness

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You hit the Frappe button. A patch of swirly photoshop magic envelopes you. All of a sudden, ye find yeself in yon dungeon. Obvious exits are North, South, and InterruptorJones. Ye see a flask. What doth ye doeth?

Type: Go InterruptorJones.

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This time you go INSIDE IJ. His liver attacks you then spits out fatty liquids.

Reg had the ball at the top of the key....

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The Kerrek says, "Me not want play-by-play. Me just want final score."

Type: Obtain tickets to The America's Passtime Superburle.

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You obtain ye tickets. Ye art confused. Pasttime Superbowl? You watch the Yankees play the Patriots. The game is really confusing, base runners are tackled, running backs are thrown out trying to steal second. Your head asplode!
You don't really care who wins. Both of those teams are like Nebulon. Nobody likes their style.

Command: Pull uncle Didy's finger.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Bad. Idea. The flatulance be so loud and so long that yelose hearing, and it reaks so that ye eyes waters up and ye can't read the important clues in the rest of this message. Ye should ********** ********** ****** **** *********** ***** ******* ****** ********* ********** ******* **** ********* **** ******** **** *******. *** ************ ********* ************* ******** ********** ****** *********** ***** **** * ****** **** * ********* ****.

If ye coulde do that, ye would probably win the game and yon $125,000,000 prize.

Command: Stop saying ye.

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Ye can't ye stop ye saying ye! Ye haveth no idea why ye can't ye stop ye saying ye, but ye can't ye stop ye saying ye! Besides, what kind of Thy Dungeonman wouldst ye be if ye didn't ye say ye?

Type: Bother Snape.

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He's busy being the voice of God right now... After that, he's gotta kill that Dumbledore guy, then... Tell ya what, come back next month.

Command: Fry waterfall

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

What is ye talking about? Ye can't fry a waterfall! Ye tries, anyway, and ye turns the water into steam, but it just keeps coming. Ye spends hours in the sauna, and ye loses some weight. Now ye looks anorexic.

Command: Steal underdrawers.

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You heat up your grease to a good 400°, then try to put the waterfall in it. First, your hot grease platters all over you. Next, the excessive water douses the flames and causes your grease to grow cold. Now you've got third degree burns, and all your grease is floating down the river. Combolations you accomplished...uh, nothing.

SIMULPOST'D!! Bulldozer, Queenie C beats the everloving crap out of you with her cane, then keel-hauls you, then guts you with her falchion.

Type: Show Jhonka a pic of Ramrod in a dress.

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Jhonka says, "We hates the dress! We HATES the dress! Meesa no like the lechs!" Jhonka takes his chicken leg and smacks it upside the head. Maybe you should try Pizza Trophy.

>Command: Dress up as a milk bottle

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

You dress up as a milk bottle. Feel important now?

Command: Give firecrackers to cat.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Bad idea. The cat takes your firecrackers and tries to use them to blow that mouse out of his hole (you know, that one mouse that he's been chasing for like 60 years). Unfortunately, it blows a hole in your house, not the mouse. As for the mouse? Well, he's just kicking back with some really big earmuffs on his head. Next time, try giving the fireworks to that coyote instead.

Type: Put coffee grounds in Ramrod's gym socks.

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Ramrod has one way to get back at such an evil deed... "It was an itsy bitsy, teeny yellow polka dot bikini..."

Command: Give high explosives to coyote.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

They splow up afore yoy give them to Wile E.

Command: Get Clan to impress Shippinator Mandy by killing Chuck Norris!

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No. Just...no.

Type: Grind Chaos Emeralds into powder and put them in a Pixie Stick.

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'mmm... pixie stick. STRONGRADSUGARRUSH!!!!! StrongRad runs through the walls leaving a perfect outline of himself in each wall.

Command:Give high explosives to coyote.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

The coyote gladly accepts your gift of high explosives. He holds up a little sign that says, "Thanks, Pal!" In return, he gives you a pair of roller skates, an old refrigerator, a meat grinder, and a pair of skis (no, not Skees - keep dream, ya perv!). Maychance these be used to defeat Trogdor?

Type: Challenge StrongRad to a nice game of Calvin Ball.

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