Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

StrongRad is leading Q to 12, but then he forgets to touch the 30 yard base wicket with the flag. He is disqualified for not hopping on one foot. Then again, you don't have a mask on, so the game was never legal to begin with.

Command: Far Side!

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

(What do you mean, "not wearing a mask!" that rule was for yesterday!)

You disappear and end up in a strange land. There's a mad scientist stranded on an island with a duck, "We meet again, my old nemesis, but this time, the advantage is mine!" Then suddenly some vikings run across the drawbridge, and one of them points into the moat, "Goldfish! Look! Goldfish!" Then you pass a group of cows just standing around, until one of them says, "Car!" and then they all drop to all fours again. Except that one with the barbeque grill. He's just Sick! SICK! But when you finally arrive at the crime scene, the victims are all dead: the man trying to catch the snake was swallowed by the crocodile, and the crocodile was aesphyxiated by the snake, and the snake choked to death trying to eat the crocodile! The senior officer says to you, "I've seen this before, and it's never pretty!" Maybe you should just go back to your boneless chicken ranch.

Type: Steal Half-eaten Choco Pants.

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Eww.. Gross. No. Nobody would steal a half-eaten pair of choco pants.

You got SBLOUNSKCHED!


Command: Light fuse and get away.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Sorry, but you already gave all the high explosives to the Coyote. And he's already blown himself to smithereens with them trying to catch that bird.

Type: Market product.

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Ye spends thousands of dollars on marketing ye "product," but "product" is in low demand. Ye made a poor decision. And while ye reels from losing thousands of dollars on marketing, Jhonka steels the rest of ye gold. Ye be as broke as yon camel's back.

Command: Fight Jhonka.

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Ye challenge ye Jhonka to ye fight. Ye Jhonka accepts. Ye spendeth days punching slabs of meat, drinking raw eggs, and running up yon castle steps. Then on ye day of ye bigge fighte, ye enter yon ring with gentleman sports gloves donned, only to find ye Jhonka decked out in chainmail and carrying a huge freaking mace. Ye getteth severely clobberated.

Type: Shanghai What's Her Face (forum user, not TGS character) into Evil Pirate Army.

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She resists, hypnotizing you with her +5 eyes of enchantedness. Next thing you know, you're sitting on a crate of dehydrated water in the middle of the ocean. Oops. Shoulda left that job to StrongCanada.

Command: FInish StrongRad's work for him so he can spend time with the woman he loves.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

I'm not exactly sure what fla-nishing is, so I think I'll just flush instead. All your work are now belong in sewer. But have fun on your date!

Type: Drink it.

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Ye drinks "It." Ye was not quite sure what "It" was, but ye thinks ye has an idea now that ye stomach is convulsing uncontrollably. Way to not read the label on yon bottle.

Command: Kill martians.

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Ye attempts to kill Martians. One of them, a shadowy guy in green Roman armor, is "Getting Veeeery Angry!" He splos you up with his Illudium Pew-36 A Splosive Space Modulator. Maybe nexttime , ye might try a more strategic approach.

Type: Drop Anvil on Martian.

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Poor Marvin.

>Pants

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

Sorry, ye is not Strong Bad, so ye is likely not wearing any. Ye only has ye loin-cheese cloth. What did ye want to do with ye pants, anywho?

Command: Stab Trogdor with Trogsword.

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You've already tried that ending. The Trogsword gets stuck in his beefy arm, and he goes, "Sup, Mortal!" Blah Blah Blah! Statue in the village and all that jive. But seriously, couldn't you come up with a more stupider command than that? Maybe like this one:

Type: Put Chaos Emerald in Jinzo and attack Trogador.

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You tried. Unfortunately, you can't figure out where to stick the chaos emerald. You find a place, but Jinzo points out that an attempt to place a chaos emerald there would result in a painful death for you. You lech Mandy, instead. She kills you painfully, anyway.

Command: Flush cherry bomb.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Please don't go there. Clan's already in trouble with me for making that insinuation. But just for clarification's sake: I AM NOT A HOMELAND SECURITY AGENT!! Only grown-up type lady-types that have things like jobs, college degrees, etc., for me, please.

Conga Rats! You manage to flush the cherry bomb. It a splodes, causing all the neighbor's toilets to overflow. They organize themselves into an angry mob and hanginate you from the nearest tree. LYNCH'D!!

Type: Put hyperactive dancing blond girl in underground secret science lab.

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"OOohhhh......... Button button, who's got the button?"
She starts flipping switches. Things explode, things fall apart, and time starts reversing. "!iD !iD" you yell (er lley uoy).

Command: Do a cartwheel!

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You do a cartwheel. And there was much rejoicing. YAY! *waving flags*

Type: Give Holy Parmesan Reggiano to Giant Flying Sghetti Monster.

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Little problem there, bub. You just want me to do something involving two things that don't exist.
*grabs shotgun and cheese*
ok, make that 1 thing...

Command: Yum-O!

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You have to pour EVOO on it before you can say that.

Type: Pour EVOO on it.

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OH NOES!!! Emeril stole your EVOO!!! NOOOOOOooooooo! All you got is regular VOO.. You just need to sneak up behind him with your GB and give him a "BAM!" of your own.

Command: Replace Granny-C's rocking chair with a +1 FCOT.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You're either a very brave man or a very stupid man. You slip up behind Queenie C as she's rocking away, and snag the chair out from under her. But before you can put the FCOT down, she grabs the rocking chair and clobberates you over the head multiple times. By the time she's through, the FCOT is wrapped around your neck, and your head is stuck in a kitchen sink.

Type: Fix hyperdrive on Millennium Falcon.

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Ye sends the Millenium Falcon to get the hyperdrive fixed. Again. How many times is ye going to break ye hyperdrives, George Lucas? When ye get there, ye finds that the Empire is already there. Boba Fett is smarter than ye thought! They freeze ye in carbonite, and don't even fix ye hyperdrive. What a rip-off, ye thinks. Some friend.

Command: Drive AT-ST

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Ye climb aboard ye AT-ST. It's hard to see where you're going, because the game designers didn't equip it with a 1st person view mode. But ye still haveth fun stomping on Imperial Bucket-Heads! What FUN! [/JK2]

Type: Pour hot soup on King of Peasantry's eye.

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[Way to get the reference! You get 3 points.]

Ye pours hot soup on King of Peasantry's eye. The King of Peasantry isn't happy, and he beats ye face in. Ye loses 3 points.

Command: Jump off high dive board.

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Ye jump off high dive board. Unfortunately, you forgot to make sure the pool was filled. OW! MY CRANIUM!

Type: Bringeth olde man ye colde one

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Here you go, Dids. Sierra Nevada Stout. Liquid bread, just the way you like it!

Command: Launch pizza

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Drum mice! You launch the first pizza in space! Unfortunately, the anti-gravity causes it to float all around. Teh overheated cheeze and pizza sauce splatters all over your face. You scream and start struggling around, and you crash into the control panel. The spaceship goes down, and you overheat the plane. As you burn up in the atmosphere, you crash into the grand canyon and explode into a ginormous fireball. KABLOOIE!

....

The neighbors hear the sound and get in their family car to investigate.

>Command- Turn into a prep.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

You start wearing Americapostale and Fitch. You act like you're better than everyone and your poo doesn't stink, but a trip to the bathroom proves otherwise, big time... Someone light a match. Quickly!

Command: Re-twist oreo cookies

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Too late! All the creamy cream-filled centers have all been eaten.

Type: READ A BOOK!!

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You give a hoot and read a book. It's way over your head. Why the crap did you try to read Global Thermoionic Fluid Dynamical Timeshare Statistical Quantum Analysis?!?!?

Command: Throw bottles at old man

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.