Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

Since you half-way use two sets of magic words, you do halves of two magic tricks. Somehow, you pull a rabbit out of an audience member's torn up $50 bill.

Command: Watch it, bub.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You watch it. For hours. It doesn't do anything but just sit there. Unfortunately, while you are so intent on watching that inanimate object, a very animate Kerrek sneaks up behind you and clobbers you on the head with Jhonka's turkey leg. CLOBBER'D WITH TURKEY LEG'D!!

Type: Throw Bratwurst at Fisherman.

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You throw the bratwurst. The fisherman catches it. He taunts you because he has your lunch and won't give it back. You torpedo his boat. That'll show him.

Command: Go to Denny's.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You go to Denny's and order a whole bunch of foods. You catch a severe case of flatitis.

Type: kltpzyxM!

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Yeah, you go ahead and do that, bub. I'll be here waiting when you decide to play the game.

Command: Tie King's shoe laces together.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

BLING! The king's shoelaces are tied together. You get an extra mans.

(20 points to the person who can tell me what I typed in my last post, and the significance of it).

Type: Turn Trog-Guardians into a hot trio of singing girls.

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You turn the Guardians into a trio of hot girls. You get distracted by the hot girls and fail to notice the Burninator sneaking up behind you. You don't, however, fail to notice that you're on fire.

Command: Gleep Glorp Gloop

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Two white stretchy giant amoeba things appear out of nowhere, going, "NENENENENENENENENE!!" They help you to defeat the Arthraxian Invadors, but the planet a splodes with you still on it.

Type: Rip Clown's Tonsils Out Through His Nose.

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Violent, aren't we?
Seriously, man, I think you need help.
Try buying the Official Players Guide at your local Babbages.

Command: Star Power!

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You call upon the power of the stars. Unfortunately, the stars are several lightyears away, and their power takes several years to reach you.

Type: Feed Aspirin to Piranha Cat.

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You can't give medicine to a cat. Ever try? Seriously, about the only way you can do that is to just shove the pill down the cat's throat. With a normal cat, you're gonna lose a lot of blood. With a piranha cat, well, let's just say that you shouldn't use an arm that you want to keep.

Command: PROOF!

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You read through the text, but fail to identify all the errors. As a result, they misprint your business cards to say "Rather Bashing".

Type: Quiver me cumpence!

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Ummm... Yeah, you go ahead and do that. When you want to, you know, kill Trogdor or win the game, you let me know. OK, Bub?

Command: Call Standards and Practices and complain about Naked Ned.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Several knights arrive on the scene and arrest Naked Ned for Indecent Exposure and Sexual Misconduct. Doesn't really effect the outcome of the game, but at least you won't have to see his pale pink flesh anymore - thank God.

Type: Cheese!

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A giant hunk of Gouda appears at your feet. You've discovered your secret power.
You can summon cheese! That's pretty freakin' cool, but you wish it had been something cooler, like flying or x-ray vision.

Command: Unleash Bell Biv DeVoe

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

The Funky Rhythm is so infectious, the Jhonka and the Kerrek can't help but getting down and boogieing, doing some of those mid-90's hip-hop dances. You use the opportunity to break into the Jhonka's house. Added to Inventory: 1 CD Collection and 1 Giant Turkey Leg.

Type: Kaldi's!

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[music that sounds suspiciously like "Sweet Home Alabama"]Elliott Sloan says he remembers Sunday nights there, but he was never really down with coffee shops, a bunch of beatniks reading Kerouac, he could smell the grass for the parking lot...[/mtsslSHA]**

Command: Let full rudder, reverse starboard engine!


**someone impress me and know what I'm talking about.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You crash the boat on an uncharted desert isle. Now you'll just have to stay there until you learn to build an airplane out of bamboo and coconuts. Hey, at least you have a radio with those lifetime batteries that never need recharging.

The next person once met Don Knots.

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Ye find ye self in wrong forum game. Ye see a flask. Obvious exists are North, South, and Don Knots.

Command: Squash insect.

You squash the insect. Unfortunately for you, it was the Gnat of Infinite Wisdom. You know that bug you've been searching for since the start of the game, the one that all of your buddies died looking for? That was it. Better hit reset.

Command: Explode something worthless

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

The grass beneth you explodes, causing a large crater to form. You fall into it. And incase the fall didn't kill you, large boulder falls on you. SQUISHED'D!!

Command: Print ye self.

Ye cannot print ye self. Apparently, in this land, print means get and self mean flask.

Command: hang out with Will Shatner, Carl Sagan, and Gallagher.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Your head explodes from the awesomeness.


COMMAND: RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACER!

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You race along the ridge. You then proceed to fall off the ridge. Your head explodes.

Command: Bake a cake.

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*BLING!* You have pink hair now. Imagine that.

Type: Ozzie.

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Ozzie appears. However, he rips your tonsils out through your nose and [CENSORED BY DARK GRAPEFRUIT] the he takes 'em and [CENSORED BY INTERRUPTOR JONES] then jams it into the [CENSORED BY JOEYDAY].

Oh, man, I want some Poptarts!!

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I lost the state spelling bee in FIFTH PLACE!!

You ask the Old Man for some Pop Tarts. But all he has are the cheap store-brand knock-offs. They taste like cardboard. You eat them and turn into a box.

Type: Livin' it up!

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Despite your box-like appearance and demeanor, you decide to enjoy life. However, in Communist Russia, life enjoys you... whatever that means...

Command: Elect Alberto A. Alberto

Well you try to anyway. you cast your vote for him. a few weeks later the electionis over and he only got 1 vote. yours. You're so depressed that you run into trogdors cave and make all the noise you can. Trogdor wakes up and burninates the crap out of you. BURNINATED!

type: Roses are red, violets are blue....

... Some users explode, very much like you.
Your head A'splode.

Command: ignite fuse