Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

but then you smell a super smelly sock that melts your lungs

command:Play a real live version of half-life

TR0GD0R PWNS JOO NEWB!!!11!!! or something like that. Then he tells the admin that you hack.

Command: Load up thy truck and move to Beverly... Hills that is.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You do that. Unfortunately, you didn't strike it rich in the oil industry first, so you end up there dirt poor. You keep trying to catch fish in other people's cement ponds, but never get a nibble until those #^$&* Yankee Policemen show up to escort you off the premises. You end up trying to kill and eat coyotes, but somehow all their ACME products blow up in your face. So you pack up your truck and move back to Kentucky, where there is an abundance of coons, possums, and squirrels to keep you happy and well fed for the rest of your life.

Type: Sit in front row and make fun of movie.

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You do that, then, the next morning, you awake to find yourself trapped in space, where you have to sit in the front row of movies and make fun of them. FOREVER!!
Fortunately, it's not too hard, as all of the movies are cheesy Sci-Fi/Horror flicks. What's that? Giant spiders attack Wisconsin? "WHOOOOOOooooooooooo! PACKERS!"

Command: Give you honest opinion of the dude that shares your office to your advisor.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You do. But since you don't actually have anyone else in your office, your advisor confirms his suspicions that you are completely bonkers. LOONY BIN'D!!

Type: Find out how many licks it takes to get to the Toostie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop.

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More than the freakin' 3 licks it takes that stupid owl.. That's all you need to know, bub.

Command: Lick electric outlet

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

figure it out.

kill knight

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I lost the state spelling bee in FIFTH PLACE!!

The knight cannot be killed. Pardon
Command: Make friends with Kerrek and climb on cavewall.

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Crap! Simulposted!!!
Kerrek doesn't want to be friends. He's more into that whole "Pounding you into the ground" thing.



Command: Do my homework so I can study for tomorrow's exam.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Snow Day!
Command: Buy kerrek a cold one.

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More like YOU buy the kerrek a cold one! NERD!!!


type: go make that soup I've been meaning to cook

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The cooker a'sploded. Now hot soup is in my eye..

Command: Y'all watch this!

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Wow. Some guy juggling.

Drum on stuff.

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I do that.. EVERY day. Ask my officemate (is that what he's called?)


Command: Forget to pay the rent.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Your cottage was burninated. Your landlord will just have to eat it. What's he going to do? Evict you? Throw all your stuff out onto the street? That guy really needs to get a life!

Type: Swing vine.

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The vine swings out over the Fighting Growlbacks Bottomless Spirit Pit and snaps right over the middle of the pit. You better be glad you didn't put "swing from vine".
YOU NOT DEAD
HUH?!?? That's not right!!

Command: Command: Roll a 7

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You roll a 7. Unfortunately, you needed at least a 13 in order to survive this Saving Throw. And your Endurance Bonus isn't going to be nearly enough to help. YOU = TEH DEAD'D!!

Type: Write congressman about Trogdor.

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You write your congressman, and he says, quote: "I'd like to help you, son, but you're too young to vote"

Command: Buy the strategy guide

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Sure! Just type in the following information, and email it to lotsofawexomestuff4@didymus.com:
Name:
Credit Card No:
Exp Date:

Type: Sue Napster for Copyright Infringement.

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You do that. A lot of nerds, freeloaders, and college students get mad at you. Lars comes to your house, raids your fridge and sets up home on your couch.. or something like that.

Command: Put baby in old man rub

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You Fool!! That only works on old men!!

Type: Put old man in old man rub.

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Old man says "I can't go in that with my pants on!" Then, as he's unbuckling his belt, you run like there's no tomorrow..


Command: Get those Duke boys!

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

I'm sorry. The proper command would have been, "Git them Duke Boys!" Please remember to use proper Redneck grammar next time.

Type: Git Them Duke Boys!

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You chase them, then they jump over a the lake. In mid air, they stop, and Waylon Jennings says something. 2 minutes later, they stop moving again, and land on the other side. You don't make it. You land in the lake, and Waylon Jennings says "reckon' ol' dashing won't smell like a peasant after that bath"

Command: Mess up Didymus' hair

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Aw, MAN, you must be a sheer glutton for punishment! You get FCOT+3 until your face falls off your head and onto the floor. So your eyes are now on the ground, and all your mouth can do is scream as the FCOT+3 continues to bash your skull in. When it's all over, your body is so groggy, it can't even pick your face back up and put it back on by itself. It has to have help from Acekirby, who uses the opportunity to ridicule your sheer stupidity and blackmail you into being the new comic relief in FORUM'D! Your new name is now "Faceless Joe." And the only person who wants to be your friend is TSA. And Funky, but only if you can score him some R-rated pics of Raven.

Type: Give Dormar matching handbag and shoes.

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Pretty soon you can't tell Dormar from a woman anymore. He changes his name to Dormara.

Diss aliens.

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Kang and Kodos lay the smack down on you. Silly human!


Command: see what that sound is outside.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

It was sort of a deep, gutteral, reptilian roar, followed by the timbre of a rushing high-intensity conflagration, sort of like a huge flame thrower. Oh, now it sounds just like human flesh being seared off of bones. Coincidentally, it also feels that way for some reason. Guess why!

Type: RUN AWAY!! RUN AWAY!!

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You manage to get away. You drop 300 gp and 2 heal potions


Command: Win the World Series

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

The spirit of Babe Ruth appears and gives you a royal beatdown. REDSOX'D!


>distort laws of reality then win world series