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| STUPID COMMAND II: The Death Factor! http://forum.hrwiki.org/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=10677 |
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| Author: | Didymus [ Thu Oct 27, 2005 12:39 pm ] |
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The Braves Win! *Tomahawk Chop* Type: Use Cheesecake of Goodness. |
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| Author: | StrongRad [ Thu Oct 27, 2005 3:47 pm ] |
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The cheesecake of goodness is powerful, but it is no match for the turtle cheesecake of goodness, which is what you really need for what you're trying to accomplish. Command: Lights, camera, umm... |
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| Author: | Xyzzyka Gruefrotzer [ Thu Oct 27, 2005 3:57 pm ] |
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"ACTION!" screams your lead actress. "It's action, you stupid sack of ooze!" She sweeps away from the set in a huff. "I can't work with these hacks! WHERE'S MY EVIAN? BRING ME MY EVIAN!" As she pulls out her cellphone - she has her agent on speed dial - you realize with a horrible sinking feeling in your stomach that you are so fired. >attack vending machine |
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| Author: | StrongRad [ Thu Oct 27, 2005 3:59 pm ] |
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You tackle the vending maching, only, since it's bigger and heavier than you, it falls on you. You get your tater chips, but you're almost crushed in the process. Was it worth it? Possibly. |
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| Author: | Obomaru [ Thu Oct 27, 2005 4:16 pm ] |
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You go nuts. Do: Use candy corn on tv screen. |
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| Author: | StrongRad [ Thu Oct 27, 2005 5:02 pm ] |
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CANDY CORN'D! Ok, so you have found a use for the stuff; it makes good "throw at TV things".. That's a lot better than that baseball you usually throw. Command: Put finger in automatic stapler |
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| Author: | DukeNuke [ Thu Oct 27, 2005 7:21 pm ] |
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Whoa! That was fun. Tough your finger's quite sore now... Command: Raise baby |
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| Author: | StrongRad [ Thu Oct 27, 2005 7:55 pm ] |
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You raise the baby. He grows into a man. You want to hang out with him, but he's too busy trying to kill Trogdor... He's grown up just like you. ..."and the cat's in the cradle..." Command: electrocute notebook. |
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| Author: | Xyzzyka Gruefrotzer [ Thu Oct 27, 2005 8:21 pm ] |
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No matter what your cousin Randolph told you, that is not how they make notebook computers, so don't even try. Everyone knows you need to use a college-ruled notebook. Idiot! >summon John Lennon then say: John, you're a jobbly sprokmonger. |
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| Author: | Didymus [ Thu Oct 27, 2005 11:37 pm ] |
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John Lennon is a sporkmonger? I know that Ringo Star's mom invented White Out, but I didn't know John Lennon had anything to do with sporks! You hear that Einoo? Type: Wear Michael Jordan's shoes. |
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| Author: | StrongRad [ Thu Oct 27, 2005 11:48 pm ] |
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He grabs them from you and says "hey, those are mine!" Ah, it's ok, they didn't make you jump any higher, anyway Command: Get a job, ya bum! |
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| Author: | Didymus [ Fri Oct 28, 2005 12:00 am ] |
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Now what kind of job can you get for your bum? Sitting down? Being looked at by lady types? Making loud smelly noises? That's It! Find a company that needs someone to produce loud smelly noises, and your bum is hired! Type: Fire bum! |
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| Author: | StrongRad [ Fri Oct 28, 2005 12:05 am ] |
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You fire the bum. You're suprised at the range of the bum, as well as the explosion he creates when he hits the ground. The explosion was great enough to destroy as certain burninator.. Too bad that was the last bum. Command: Kick XWin to the curb |
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| Author: | Didymus [ Fri Oct 28, 2005 12:09 am ] |
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You do that. And it does something really cool, but...um...I forgot what it was? Anyway, congratulations! You are now XWin free. Whatever that means. Type: Set coordinates for TCBY! |
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| Author: | Xyzzyka Gruefrotzer [ Fri Oct 28, 2005 3:29 am ] |
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Your crew mutinies and sets sail for Baskin Robbins, leaving you tied to a signpost on a roundabout. >Luke, use the Force |
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| Author: | Hi Guys [ Fri Oct 28, 2005 12:59 pm ] |
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LAWSUITED BY GEORGE LUCAS'D! Eat the Magical Pudding. |
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| Author: | Beyond the Grave [ Fri Oct 28, 2005 1:24 pm ] |
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Eat pudding, magically become lactose intolerant. Go Commando. |
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| Author: | StrongRad [ Fri Oct 28, 2005 2:20 pm ] |
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Waaaay ahead of ya, bub! Command: Steal Didymus' +3 FCOT and replace it with a +1 FCOT |
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| Author: | Didymus [ Fri Oct 28, 2005 2:23 pm ] |
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You *singing* Buy All The Playsets And Toys! *tuba note* SIMULPOST'D!! The above was for BTG. SR: Man, you like to live dangerously, don't you? Which is why you seem to have trouble winning this game! ANYWAY--*carnage too graphic to be described here*! That'll Learn Ya! Type: Steal Coach Z's Bandaid Collection. |
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| Author: | StrongRad [ Fri Oct 28, 2005 2:29 pm ] |
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You're about to make it out of the locker room when he spots you. You have to sit through his "loving a girl" speech AND you have to listen to him sing Snow's "Informer"... With all the extra syllables, it takes a while. Command: Help Kerrek duct tape Jhonka to door. |
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| Author: | Clan rHrN [ Fri Oct 28, 2005 9:43 pm ] |
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You do that, but Kerrek is a teetotaler and won't want a cold one from you. Command: Watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail with Hilary Duff. |
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| Author: | Didymus [ Sat Oct 29, 2005 2:17 am ] |
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Hilary's IQ is too low to appreciate the subtleties of British humor. She roots for the Rabbit. Type: Tell King of Peasantry that Trogdor ate his vegetable garden. |
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| Author: | Acekirby [ Sat Oct 29, 2005 2:27 am ] |
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You tell the king that, but the king is no idiot. Trogdor doesn't eat vegetables. You are killed for lying to royalty. CAPITAL PUNISHMENT'D! Eat sausage patty. |
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| Author: | Didymus [ Sat Oct 29, 2005 2:50 am ] |
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It was from McDonald's, which means it has Meat Clown Artery Clogging Lard (pat pending) all in it. CORONARY'D!! Type: Nail Theses to door. |
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| Author: | StrongRad [ Sat Oct 29, 2005 3:14 am ] |
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As you're trying, they open the door. You, not paying attention nail the theses to the guy that opened the door's head. Command: Set Kyle on fire |
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| Author: | Xyzzyka Gruefrotzer [ Sat Oct 29, 2005 3:27 am ] |
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You hear a muffled cry which sounds vaguely like "NNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!" and watch in shock as a boy in an orange anorak leaps in front of the flaming arrow. "Kenny, no!" cries Kyle, but 'tis too late. You've taken an innocent life. And been accused of being a child born out of wedlock for your troubles. >give 1-up pudding |
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| Author: | Didymus [ Sat Oct 29, 2005 5:30 am ] |
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A generous supply of mucus is excreted through his nostrils. Now you have item: Generous Supply of Mucus. Type: Put Raven Action Figure under giant boulder. |
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| Author: | Xyzzyka Gruefrotzer [ Sat Oct 29, 2005 5:40 am ] |
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Someone resembling Homestar, but funkier, prances up to the boulder. "GASPETH!"  says the Funk Star. "Fear not, tiny replica* Raven! I shall save you!" With superhuman strength, he doth lifteth the boulder and throw it far anon, retrieving the Raven, which he takes home to... *ahem* "nurse back to health".
Meanwhile, the boulder he dothed liftethed and throwethed far anon comes crashing down upon your head. I folk say you dead. >homeowner, do you prefer eggs or tp *tiny replica=REFERENCE'D! |
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| Author: | Didymus [ Sat Oct 29, 2005 5:42 am ] |
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Ye Homeowner says, "Both!" The he proceeds to pelt you with eggs and TP until you can barely move. EGG'D and TP'D!! Type: Throw clown off cliff. |
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| Author: | Xyzzyka Gruefrotzer [ Sat Oct 29, 2005 5:47 am ] |
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Everybody loves a clown, so why don't you? Anyway, even if you're unfamiliar with your trickster mythology, surely you've at least seen your Wile E. Coyote/Road Runner cartoons. It just doesn't pay to try to push the funny, lovable, mischeivous guy off a cliff. Anyway, somehow it backfires blahblahlblah you plummet to your squishy death.  TOTPD!
>poopsmith, sing karaoke |
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