Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

Kerrek appreciates it, but even he asks, "Why bother?" I mean, have you ever tasted non-alcoholic Cold One before? Do the words "Cold None" mean anything to you? Maybe you should have tried Dr. Pepper or something.

Buy Kerrek Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper.

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Kerrek doesn't like that. Now, had it been a regular Dr Pepper, or maybe a vanilla Dr Pepper from Sonic, things might have been differently, but, you'll never know. You pounded into the ground.


Command: Stupid Vikings

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Those are totaly some stupid vikings, singing about spam over yonder. After listening to their singing a few hours, you go insane and start to like spam too.

Command:
ert+
y76p; '0lu8jkyee;u4p;e'/Rh
Strong ba15456 `-------++++++gf
+++++-//==========/*8901ikg

Bubs slightly shotguns your compy.



Watch Bub's Concession Stand

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You watch it. You see it follow Strong Mad home.. Turns out it really did follow him home. Strong Bad should let him keep it.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You sit on your oversized lazy butt and do nothing for several days. What do you think this is, a holiday? Get up off your good-for-nothing hide and get out there and kick some Trogdor butt!!

Type: Hunt Turduckens

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You shoot the Turducken. The tailgaters that were cooking it in the parking lot at Lambeau Field get mad at you for ruining their smoker.
Suddenly, you feel a sharp pain as a football removes your head. FAVRE'D!


Command: fall in love

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You fall in love. Unfortunately, your love goes unrequited. The Jhonka says you're not his type.

Type: Question reality.

Incidentally, Turduckens have been really popular on FoodTV this year. Paula made one, Emeril had one on his show made by some firemen, and Alton Brown mentioned them on one of his shows.

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You find out Your in the matrix, but what is the matrix?

You found god.

You find him. For some reason, he has nail scars on his arms and a puncture wound in his side.

Type: Make Drawrings!

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You make the drawrings.. Now, anyone who wears them gets +4 drawing.

Command: Use +3 FCOT on Knight.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Holy crap, who knew that knights had laser guns!

Fetch Me the head of Willy the mail boy.

The head is fetched.. Unfortunately for you, it's still attached to the conscious and very heavily armed Willie.. You dead, like a million times over.

Command: Don't put on that hideous dress!

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

To bad, look I'm ramrod(sorry for bringing that dumb joke back to life).


Run from China and back.

It would have been easier to dig.

Buy a one way ticket to Hell...and back.

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Error 245: pq.exe will be terminated (hope you saved your game!)


Command: ignite something

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Looks like Troggy has already done a pretty good job of that for you.

Type: Give Genie a Noogie.

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The Genie wastes his last wish, wishing you would stop doing that.

Command: Jump over the moon

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You can't jump that high, so you settle on jumping over a Moon Pie. But you forgot your RC Cola, so it doesn't do you much good.

Type: Buy Jhonka a new DVD player.

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Jhonka scoffs at the $30 DVD player you got him at WalMart..

He shows you his kickin' home entertainment center with a 50 disc DVD changer with progressive scan.

Then, he pounds you into the ground for insulting him with a piece of junk.

Command: It's clobberin' time!

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

It sure is. Jhonka clobbers you.

Type: Put cilantro on fajitas and yell "BAM!!"

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Doc lays down some funky beats, and everyone laughs/claps


Command: Cabo Wabo!

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

you die somehow

order spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam spam, and spam

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Wow, It's been like three or 4 years since I've last been here

It was spam and baked beans. They crush you.

Eat cheese

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Clicky:

The cheese was delicious. Unfortunately, it was made of foam rubber, and the guy whose head from which you swiped it wants it back.

Command: not again

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Yes. Again.

Create an alternate reality where you can see Harry Potter and Rent at the same time.

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You get really confused. Roger has to get a goblet of fire while Snape evicts Harry and Mark from their apartment.
Harry writes a song.


Command: Go Not Dennis

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Pretty much every direction is not Dennis. Except Dennis. You try to go in all these directions at once and end up running in circles. Dizzy'd!

> burn down someone else's thatched-roof cottage and blame it on Trogdor

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You burn down the cottage. Everyone blames it on Trogdor. Much to your chagrin, instead of being mad at Trogdor, they share a good laugh, and bake Troggy a cake. You try to tell them the truth, that you did it, but they just laugh at you.

Command: Attach rockets to Christmas tree.

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If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You can't. It's still Advent. Christmas doesn't start until the 25th. So you end up putting the rockets on the Advent Wreath instead. When the acolyte lights the Advent Wreath on Sunday Morning, it launches and blows a hole in the church roof. A stone from the ceiling buttresses falls on the pastor's head and kills him. The town decides to burn you as a heretic (remember, this is still medieval times, and let's face it, you deserve it this time).

Type: Tie antlers to dog's head and proceed to steal Christmas.

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