Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

Fred: Door, I command you to open.
Door: No.
Fred: Okay, then: lock, I command you to unlock yourself.
Lock: Heck no at all.
Fred: Frickin' uncooperative inanimate objects. I guess I'll just use the key that I have.
*Fred unlocks and opens the door*

Next situation: Stealing a rare gem

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Ed: So, then I used my...
Studge: Hold on, I got a call (answers his cellphone, mutters a bit then put it back into his pocket)
Studge: Okay, I'm back.
Ed: Wait... what was I going to say?
Studge: You were going to tell me how you slayed the dragon in Dn'D
Ed: Oh right! <ahem> er... How did I do that, again?

Darth Vader selling girl scout cookies to Elvis Presley

Vader: (rings door)
E: (throws open door, strikes a pose) Elvis, is in, the building!
Vader: I can see that. The Empire requires 30 bars of gold pressed latinum for these rations.
E: Gold-pressed latinum? Am I all-shook-up, or did you borrow that currency from the Ferengis?
Vader: Star Trek will submit to the Galactic Empire. Now, buy these rations! (extends hand, Elvis begins choking)
E: Now hold on, hold on, man. You're messing up my collar. (strikes a pose)
Vader: I tire of this, white-clad human. I am your father--you are my son, and the one true king.
E: Mercy, man! That's the wrong Jones movie!
Vader: (twists hand, Elvis collaspes. opens box of cookies, tries to fit them through breathing holes in mask)

Strong Sad letting loose on his brothers.

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I could use some salve.