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| Chuck Norris Facts http://forum.hrwiki.org/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=12894 |
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| Author: | The Noid [ Sat Nov 17, 2007 3:10 pm ] |
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Got these from a website: - Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name into concrete. - Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris. - Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants. - Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands. - Chuck Norris can speak braille. - Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds. - Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno. - On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence. - The only reason Chuck Norris didn't win an Oscar for his performance in "Sidekicks" is because nobody in their right mind would willingly give Chuck Norris a blunt metal object. That's just suicide. - The most honorable way of dying is taking a bullet for Chuck Norris. This amuses Chuck Norris because he is bulletproof. - The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears. - We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't believe in magic. - Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye. - Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry. - Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die. - Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Chuck Norris now looking for candy after he kicks his victims. |
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| Author: | Sloshy [ Sat Nov 17, 2007 4:06 pm ] |
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Clouds are in the sky because they're too scared to be on the same ground Chuck Norris is on. Chuck Norris once killed a girl looking out the window at him by staring into her eyes. |
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| Author: | WillPmaster [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:07 am ] |
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The Noid wrote: WillPmaster wrote: chuck norris is pure hate He is pure awesome with a little bit of hot sauce mixed in for zest. He has been rotting though because the facts can get old. Plus I think he shaved his beard, he will eat your children you dork |
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| Author: | Sloshy [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:24 am ] |
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WillPmaster wrote: The Noid wrote: WillPmaster wrote: chuck norris is pure hate He is pure awesome with a little bit of hot sauce mixed in for zest. He has been rotting though because the facts can get old. Plus I think he shaved his beard, he will eat your children you dork Wrong. ... Staring into Chuck Norris' eyes turns you to stone. |
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| Author: | WillPmaster [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:25 am ] |
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Chuck norris will send you where no man has been before if you take his stuff |
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| Author: | Sloshy [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:28 am ] |
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WillPmaster wrote: Chuck norris will send you where no man has been before if you take his stuff
Better. Powerthirst is really Essence of Chuck Norris. (You only get it if you've seen Powerthirst.) |
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| Author: | WillPmaster [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:30 am ] |
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Cuck Norss is the DEval in human form |
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| Author: | Sloshy [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:33 am ] |
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Chuck Norris saw an enemy and began throwing a banana at him and saying "BANG CRASH BANG!" The second it hit the ground. It burst into flames. |
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| Author: | WillPmaster [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:36 am ] |
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Chuck norris Is solid Fire |
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| Author: | Sloshy [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:38 am ] |
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WillPmaster wrote: Chuck norris Is solid Fire
...If he touches you, your fingers melt to the earths core? |
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| Author: | WillPmaster [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:42 am ] |
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And lives in the earth core |
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| Author: | Sloshy [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:43 am ] |
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WillPmaster wrote: And lives in the earth core
...Only comes out at night? |
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| Author: | WillPmaster [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:45 am ] |
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no when ever he wants to beat people up |
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| Author: | Sloshy [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:48 am ] |
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WillPmaster wrote: no when ever he wants to beat people up
Especially his enemies, who he kicks and blows fire breath on. (NOTE: Chuck Norris has fire breath.) |
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| Author: | WillPmaster [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:49 am ] |
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VChuck norris is part robot |
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| Author: | Sloshy [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:53 am ] |
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When Chuck Norris lightly blows you, you're blown all the way to Arabia. |
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| Author: | WillPmaster [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:55 am ] |
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no you pass arabria and end in CHina |
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| Author: | Sloshy [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:56 am ] |
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WillPmaster wrote: no you pass arabria and end in CHina
*Hopes that's geometrically correct* When Chuck Norris swims, the current doesn't move him. He moves the current. |
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| Author: | WillPmaster [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:57 am ] |
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He power a city with his body heat |
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| Author: | Sloshy [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:59 am ] |
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Chuck Norris eats other peoples menergy for breakfast. |
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| Author: | WillPmaster [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 5:00 am ] |
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engry come to him thou diffusion |
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| Author: | IantheGecko [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 5:14 am ] |
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Chuck Norris sweats steroids. |
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| Author: | WillPmaster [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 5:15 am ] |
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He eats stale bread and the mold becomes medicine |
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| Author: | The Noid [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 1:15 pm ] |
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WillPmaster wrote: he will eat your children you dork Oh good job Stanley, taking a phrase from my old signature! Quote: geometrically
Geographically you mean? Chuck Norris knows that the moon landing is fake. He knows this because 3 years before we "landed", he decided to store all of his corpses on the moon. Using the power of awesome, he flew there, stopped at a Burger King, and buried all the corpses in 12 minutes. |
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| Author: | WillPmaster [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 2:43 pm ] |
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He can eat anyting like meteals and wood |
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| Author: | StrongRad [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 3:33 pm ] |
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Chuck Norris is so awesome he can give WillPMaster better spelling and grammar. He can, but he won't. |
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| Author: | The Noid [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 3:51 pm ] |
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Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves. Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin. Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas. Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse. If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef. When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep. Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash. Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face. Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience. |
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| Author: | Sloshy [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 8:52 pm ] |
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The Noid wrote: Geographically you mean?
Oops... um, yes. I do mean Geographically. But that was at 11:30 and my mind was on Death Note... X_X Chuck Norris is the reason George Washington's teeth were bad. |
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| Author: | Color Printer [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 9:39 pm ] |
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StrongRad wrote: Chuck Norris is so awesome he can give WillPMaster better spelling and grammar.
He can, but he won't. That sucks. Chuck Norris hates it when people spell his name "Cuck Norss". |
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| Author: | DIZZYZAP478 [ Sun Nov 18, 2007 11:23 pm ] |
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You know who killed the dinasours? Well you guessed it. Chuck Norris |
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