Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

You and your band became famous, then the cheat tricked you and ran off with all your profits, and your house, and your dignity.

I wish I was a million ladies tall

Granted.

Let's see, ladies are generally about 5'5 tall, so that times a million is....

Congratulations! You are now 5,500,000 feet tall. When you stand up, your head rises about Earth's atmosphere. You suffocate.

I wish I had a single delicious, non-contaminated, perfectly edible, perfectly legal chocolate bar.

Sorry it hasn't been invented yet.

I wish the poopsmith could actually talk..

Granted: I couldn't be bothered being creative so uh... the poopsmith explodes.

I wish I could be more creative

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You decide to salt your own foot and then eat it. Your mom explodes when she sees what you're doing.

I wish the next person would explain exactly how an A* algorithm works.

Granted! I say that A* means a-star.

I wish that someone hot and cool and who I liked asked me to the MORP dance.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

This really cute girl comes up to you and asks you to the MORP dance. You accept. Then the night of the dance, you show up at the school, and it turns out to be a Municipality Organization Recruitment Program dance. Combolations! You are now in the Municipality Organization. You get your own scraggly hair, gas mask, billy club, and shield. Now get out there and disperse those rioters! Oh, and the girl never dances with you. She was just trying to lure you there so you get RECRUIT'D!!

I wish fluffy bunnies would invade China.

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granted, but since giant robots and monsters ALREADY invaded Japan. The bunnies decided to give up and eliminate YOU

I wish alms for the pudgy again

The pudgy get all the alms. That means homeless people, hungry children, battered women, and storm victims don't get any. And the pudgy just use them to buy more Twinkies® and Doritos®.

I wish AgentSeeThroo would fall over and say, "Ow!"

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Granted. He falls on the ground and says "ow", but the vibrations from his exclamation cause an avealanch and it kills you.

I wish everyone in the world hated shrimp.

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I'm the best around
Dubba dubba dubba, can take me down!
I'm the best around!
Dubba dubba dubba, can take me down!

Granted, but since people stop eating shrimp their population increases dramatically and they evolve into a race of super shrimp. They now eat US... with a little bit of cocktail sauce.

I wish I had some cookies.

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Granted, but it turns out the cookies are made out of human flesh and tissues.

I wish that I had a giant mug of frosty root beer.

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I'm the best around
Dubba dubba dubba, can take me down!
I'm the best around!
Dubba dubba dubba, can take me down!

You have a giant mug of frosty root beer. Unfortunately, along comes Old-Timey Strong Bad, and he decides to go for a dip in the Sarsparilla Swimming Hole. "Last one in is a Free Mason!" Now you have an Old-Timey Strong Bad swimming around in your mug of root beer. But hey, if you still want to drink it, you go right ahead.

I wish that the Municipality would finally capture that Bear Holding A Shark.

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Granted! It comes with two minors, and the cops bust you for it.

I wish that I had more cool (real) friends.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

Granted. You get all the coolest friends in the world and become the coolest person in the world. Unfourtionatly, you can't take all the attention, so your head a-splode.

I wish Grape flovored popcicles didn't taste like medicine.

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I'm the best around
Dubba dubba dubba, can take me down!
I'm the best around!
Dubba dubba dubba, can take me down!

granted: now they taste like monkey fur.

I wish for more (good) DS Games.

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Grant'd! Mario Party 9999999999999 is released for DS and is completely new and original. Sadly you're not invited to this party.

I wish my health teacher had herpes...

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[img=http://img53.imageshack.us/img53/2293/handyih8.th.jpg]

Your health teacher now has herpes.
And grosses out the class by complaining about his/her symptoms all the time. Ew.

I wish I could draw better.

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NOT A SIGNATURE!

Crammalation up yo eat hole! You draw the world's best picture...
of Mohammed and get killed by terrorists seven times!


I wish I could get an "A" in AP Physics.

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[img=http://img53.imageshack.us/img53/2293/handyih8.th.jpg]

'terr-A-ble' that's how you spelled it.

i wish i had more chocolate

wish granted. You now have a mountain of chocolate. Unfortunately, the mountain is 50 feet tall, but it is on the equator... so you drown in a sea of melted chocolate.

I wish I lived in Free Country, USA...

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"And everyone lived happily ever after..."
"...Until the giant ants came and slaughtered everyone."

You did live in FCUSA. But sadly, you were shot and killed on your first day there. Dang gangs...

I wish for true enlightenment, and I would no suffer physical or emotional pain because of it.

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GENGHIS KHAN!!!!!

Wish granted. You disapear into a piece of thin air. No one ever gets to see you again, but you'll never die nor feel any pain.

I wish I could die and go to hell.

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It rocks my socks!

Granted

But there's one problem. Since you have been so good in the world, the leader of the hell, hates you and wanted you to got to heaven.

I wish that I am rich.

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If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again.

Improber grammar'd! Past tense! You get sucked into the middle ages where they make you into a peasant!

I wish that I was cool. And not like, temperature cool.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

Wish granted. You are so cool that the superpowers, fearing that you will attempt to take them over, team up and smite you into Fabreeze-scented oblivion!!

I wish I was Stinkoman...because he's THE GUY!

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"And everyone lived happily ever after..."
"...Until the giant ants came and slaughtered everyone."

You become Stinkyman. And you stink. To high heaven. Man, even SKUNKS are afraid of you now. But at least you get your wish.

I wish Tef were floating around upside down.

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Granted; you're in a space station. Oh, and you better do something about those leaks...

I wish I didn't have to do my stupid english paper, or any other paper for that matter eider!

*BLING!* You no longer have any papers to do for the rest of your life. The bad news is that now you have to live on top of a mountain in an old log cabin with nothing but cornbread to eat for the rest of your life. And no Internets access, either. And no TV. Or music. Just an old deck of playing cards with the Jack of Hearts and the 7 of Clubs missing.

I wish wiener dogs had super powers and could save the world from evil.

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Weiner dogs now have a dazzling array of powers, and can fly. however taping dogs to air planes is popular

I wish people would listen to me

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If I had posted during the time of COVID, COLA woulda called me worse than the virus.