Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

Ok, but you get burned so bad that your head exploads. Then someone ruins it again.

I wish that all my dreams would come true.

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Granted! All your dreams come true! And so do all your nightmares.

I wish it was summer.

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Granted. It's summer. Forever. The world goes into an endless drought and everyone dies. Happy now?

I wish I had a star named after me.

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Granted: you get a star named after you, but it doesnt like its new name and turns into a black hole and swallows the universe.

I wish for an old 1930's radio.

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Congratulations, you get a 1930's radio, but the only station it can pick up is the "Strong Sad Whines" station. And when he's off-air, it's full-time chanting. And the power button breaks after you start it, and the plug melts into the electrical socket, so you can't unplug it. It also has a decades-old Wicca spell put on it that makes it impervious to destruction.

I wish I was a world-famous and extremely talented musician.

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Granted! You are Michael Jackson.

I wish that I had the best party ever at my house.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

[Still twitching and writhing in mental anguish from the thought of being Michael Jackson...]

Granted. Now you can clean it up alone.

I wish for a yellow submarine.

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Granted. You now live in a yellow submarine with the Beatles, and they play that particular song every 10 minutes.

I wish I could FLLLYYYY!!!

ok but now you have to live with birds and eat worms!

i wias that my life was exactly like sora's

kingdom hearts

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OK, but you're controlled by a horrible player. You lose/die every five minutes or so.

(I've never played Kingdom Hearts, since I don't have a PS2 - or even a PSX - so I don't know what happens when you screw up.)

I wish my life was super great all the time.

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Granted. After a day of winning the lottery, getting a new puppy, having the significant other of your dreams fall for you, becoming famous and ruling the world, a heavy lourde falls on you. Life was good while it lasted, eh?

I wish I knew how to break dance.

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~*The Only Thing to Do is Jump Over the Moon*~

Granted: You break dance, but in the wrong way. Every bone in your body is broken, and you have a huge bill to replace the antiques.

I wish I could make a wish.

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Granted! You can now make a wish about being dead.

I wish that I could bargain easily with people in Mexico.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

You bargain easily with the Mexicans. In return for giving you a dollar, they are allowed to come in illegally all they want.
I wish I could think of even better jokes.
Go humility!

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GENGHIS KHAN!!!!!

Granted: but you think of a joke so good, the universe SPLODES.

I wish for some Cable cutters to cut the power at the back of that freakin' radio.

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Granted. All of the radio waves have to pack up and find a new home. They choose, YOUR INNER EAR! (muahahahahaha!)

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<(* ) THRUSTER DUCK
( << )<~~~ WANTS
O O YOUR SOUL

You wished for...nothing! *BLING!* You cease to exist. And your evil sister gets all your stuff, and uses it to take over the world.

I wish that alien with the Eludium Pew 36 Explosive Space Modulator would blow up the Dark Lord Williamus Gatus.

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Granted. Williamus Gatus was blown up when he came for a surprise marketing visit to your parents' house. (He felt he didn't have enough money, so he came petitioning for your family's support. He visited 358,275 homes before theirs.) Unfortunately, it not only destroyed the Dark Lord and your house, but it destroyed your whole hometown. You weren't there when it happened. Now everyone you love is dead and you have to live with that. Happy now?

I wish American citizens would finally start looking at the good side of things instead of always focusing on what's going wrong.

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Granted. Then they become so optomistic, that they drive you crazy. You end up shooting yourself. ("Oh well, it'll decrease the surplus population!")

I wish Homestar would pronounce his "r's".

(Lovely Scrooge reference. I enjoyed that.)

Granted. Homestar pronounces his r's. He also grows arms and starts wearing pants, and his skin becomes normal. Strong Bad then takes off his mask and boxing gloves, puts on a shirt, and gets a new computer with Mac OS X. Strong Sad loses weight and gets some anti-depressants, while Marzipan suddenly gets a human body, instead of a broom. The Poopsmith quits and permanently gives up his vow of silence. You get the idea.

The location of Free Country USA is suddenly made known to the public, and everyone there is now normal. H*R is no longer funny, so it fades out of existence, taking HRWiki and the HRWiki Forum along with it. Congratulation. You just ruined the whole world.

I wish I didn't have to take Gen Eds.

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Granted! Because people in fatal squirrel juggling accidents don't have to do much of anything!

I wish I wasn't too lazy to walk across the hall and go to the bathroom.

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You aren't. Unfortunately, you are too lazy to walk back from the bathroom. So you're stuck on the toilet forever.

I wish I didn't have poison ivy.

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*BLING!* Your poison ivy goes away. But now you just have plain old poison. DEAD'D!!

I wish that insurance gecko was a super soldier who fought against the evil forces of terrorism.

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Granted, but his family tracks you down and beats you up for making their most valued family member leave them. WHO'S GONNA READ TO MINDY NOW, HUH?! AND WHAT ABOUT POOR GRANDMA HICKENS? WHO'S GOING TO GET HER GROCERIES AFTER HER OPERATION?!

I wish my teeth didn't feel so plaquey.

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Your teeth don't feel anything now....because they have all fallen out! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

I wish the mode button on my watch wasn't broken.

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Granted. The mode button is fixed, but everything else breaks. There are no digits, the face is cracked, all of the LED's have stopped functioning, and all the other buttons fell off - but hey! You can press the mode button!

I wish that I could wish for something that no one could turn around.

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*BLING!* the button is fixed. But unfortunately, the watch itself is now broken. Shoulda got a Timex!

I wish that puppies would materialize out of mid air whenever I felt down.

SIMULPOST'D! The next djinni answer mine and Bull's.

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Granted. But they're all German Shephards with sharp teeth and rabies.

I wish that I could win a first-class one-way trip to a magical far-away place, where the air smelled like warm root beer and the towels were oh so FLUFFY!

EDIT: And this one too, I guess... (Maybe next time I shouldn't respond to a simulpost...)

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You get a one-way trip to a magical land called "Spilled Root Beer Land," where there's root beer spilled all over the place, and the towels are used to sop it up.

I wish I didn't have to go back to my office today.

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Granted. A heavy lourde falls on you. Now you don't have to go anywhere, 'cuz you're dead.

I that nobody would ever get angry again.

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