Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

Poof! Now you can walk around clocks that are on the floor. What, you couldn't do it before?

I wish I could sell The Cheat's gold tooth on eBay.

Congratulation, you sold The Cheat's gold tooth on eBay. You got $2.50! Unfortunately, The Cheat fights you with his hands tied behind his back and his eyes duck-taped shut, and you have a spear. You lose, miserably, and the $2.50 doesn't even do a thing for the $250 hospital bill. Too bad... the local pawnshop was going to pay $500 for it.

I wish I had another wish.

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Congrats! You have another wish! With that one, you wish for two more...and then double your amount of wishes for each wish...Needless to say, you are soon buried in wishes and die of suffacation.

I wish Poopsmith wasn't so disgusting.

The Poopsmith quits his job, ditches his smelly clothes, takes a looooooooooooong bath with Axe® soap. He puts on a snazzy suit with a Pink Tie of All-Up-Ons. Now all the lady-types love him, and not you. OUT MACK-DADDY'D BY THE POOPSMITH'D!!

I wish the girl I had a crush on was madly in love with me.

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Ta da! However, girls that you only had a slight crush on are also madly in love with you now, and then they all fight over you, but end up fighting you, leaving you bloody and bruised. Then the new and improved Poopsmith bonks you over the head with his Pink Tie of All-Up-Ons because you stole all his lady types.

I wish that McDonalds made better food.

McD's pays Emeril Lagasse, Bobby Flay, Mario Batali, and Giada Delaarentes to redo their menu. Now McD's is a five-star restaurant. Unfortunately, now a Big Mac costs like $800, and the french fries (now called "pommes frits") are like $500 for a small. YOU = VERY BROKE'D!!

I wish the Giant Flying Sghetti Monster would turn all the ninjas in the world into pirates.

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Okay, but now there are no such thing as Kung Fu movies, and Jackie Chan isn't very good at plundering. A horde of ten thousand newly enlisted pirates show up at your door, led by some pirates that were ninjas in the first place. They find you the next day strung up with about a mile of rigging and pieces of eight. SWASHBUCKLE'D!

Make me be able to not ever need sleep.

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Okay, the good news is you don't need sleep anymore. The bad news is that your blood has been replaced by Espresso. And now, you have to spend at least $200 at the local high-class coffee shop type places just to stay alive. One day, the guy behind the counter accidentally gave you a Decaf, and you keel over and collapse. Not knowing how to do a transfusion with espresso, the doctors just bleed you and make cappuccinos. DECAF DEAD'D'D!!

I wish I had an evil army of flying monkeys with which I can take over the world. For when I have taken it over, I will have triumphed. And I will rule the world. Because I will be the leader! For I, and my evil flying monkeys with have conquered the earth! [/mojo jojo]

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Ok, your army of flying monkeys helps you take over the world, and you become the leader. Now you have to handle every crisis that comes up all alone, and everyone asks you to make good laws. You can't handle it all, so not only does the world enter into a nuclear world war, but you go insane. Without sane leadership, I only have to use one of my Death Penguins to destroy your entire army and claim the world as my own. Death Penguins are infinitely smarter than flying monkeys, so, with their help, I start a new era of prosperity, unity, and peace among men. I'm hailed as the greatest man alive, and you are sent to rot in some Turkish asylum. Not that you could understand English anymore, anyway.

I wish Strong Bad would write a song about me, send Trogdor over to my house, and put on a purple thing and dance around.

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Strong Bad writes a song about you, the title of which is, "Oh, Bulldozer, How I Love Thee." Then he puts on a purple thing and dances around. The purple thing being a dress he borrowed from Ramrod, and he's dancing around you in a very seductive way. And finally, after you tell Strong Bad that you don't feel the same way, he runs out of the house crying, then sends Trogdor to burninate you and your house. Way to go, man! Strong Bad ended up with a killer crush on you, and you end up burninated.

I wish for a newer more better apartment.

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You get a newer and more better apartment. Unfortunately, you now have to share it with Strong Bad, who still hasn't taken off his purple thing. When you show up, he starts dancing around seductively and sings his new song, "Oh, Didymus, How I Love Thee More Than Bulldozer!" You don't want to get burninated, so now you're somehow dating Strong Bad in a purple thing. How could you ruin our favorite manly hero like that, Didymus?

I wish for the power to kill a yak from 200 yards away... with MIND BULLETS! (That's telekinesis, Kyle!)

Cookie's in the mail if you know the reference...

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Granted! Unfortunately those bullets bounced off your skull back into your brain... so you died.

I wish I could shoot ferbreze out of my nose and mouth.

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who am i to stop you? like this!
all you can do with your nose and mouth now is shoot ferbreze. in other words, you can't breathe now. haw haw!
unless, you can learn how to breathe like some certain turtles.......



i wish for a misfortune-free wish.

Wish granted. Unfortunately, that's not what this game is about. DISQUALIFIED'D!

I wish for a cookie. I can't choke on it, because I'm not gonig to eat it. It's not poisonous to the touch, and it's got no arbnormalties. No-one will beat me up and take it, no-one will care about my cookie. Just an ordinary cookie.

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You get a very ordinary cookie that nobody cares about. In fact, it's so ordinary, you die of boredom just looking at it.

I wish I could sleep another hour.

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you got it. a cookie. a plain ol' cookie. you could have gotten something better, but you've got a cookie. have fun.


i wish i had a big crate full of popcorn chicken.

granted, but the ckicken rebels
soon it takes over the world
from there, it launches an attack on the mars hideaway
all human civilization is lost
nice going, jenius

i wish the person who ruins my wish dies(not in real life)

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Cheat Commandos O's, Rock Rock On!
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Purple Koopa ruins your wish and dies. However, he becomes a member of the living dead and eats your brain!

I wish Strong Mad had volume control.

Granted. But you can only turn the volume up. Not down.

I wish I had a minion to do my bidding.

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Granted! Your minion buys a zillion different expensive items on eBay which you don't need (get it? BIDDING? haha i r teh funy!!!!!!11111), including one of those novelty kangaroo skin coin purses from Australia. BANKRUPT'D! and GROSS'D OUT UPON DISCOVERING WHAT AREA OF THE BODY THE KANGAROO SKIN IN THE COIN PURSE CAME FROM!

I wish that IantheGecko and I had a million dollars each.

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We get a million dollars, but it's all in Confederate money.

I wish that space aliens were real.

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Granted. Space aliens are now real. You get abducted!

I wish I could digivolve!

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4 8 15 16 23 42

Wish granted! You dig and dig and DIG and DIG underground until at last you find the elusive iVolve. Unfortunately, iVolve is a terrorist organization, and what you found is a poison gas bomb type thing. You die.

I wish Typhlosion was real, and that I could have one that would obey my commands and not Flamethrower me.

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Granted, but it gets defeated in battle, falls over, and crushes you.

I wish for three fishes who cant harm me and cant die.

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Cheat Commandos O's, Rock Rock On!
My Cartoon Board
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Granted. They need extra oxygen to not die abve water though, so they suck up all the atmosphere from Earth. You don't die, because te fish are causing it, but everyone else does. All your friends are dead, so you have nothing to live for. You eat the fish and end the madness.


I wish the Spectral Pickle Factory would appear soon.

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it appears and lands on your house
angry pickles come out and kill your family
then they blow up the earth

i wish for a fluffy puff marmello!

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Cheat Commandos O's, Rock Rock On!
My Cartoon Board
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Granted, but they get angry at you for misspelling 'marshmallow'.

I wish for a cup of water.

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You get a cup of water. It's nasty brown Greenville MS water. It's not even run through a Pur Filter, either. ENJOY!

I wish for a nice big piece of Technochocolate.

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You get the technochocolate, but it's all wirey and silicon chippy. Oh. And there are glass shards in it...to make it more techno lookin'.

I wish for a cute puppy.

you get the cute puppy and he is so friendly he wont stop liking your face and then you choke and suffocate and the dog slobber, to bad.

i wish i had cool superpowers (insert stupid looking goofy smile here)