Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

Granted, but you get kicked. ALOT

i wish than i was semi rich so i could get some nice stuff

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stop poverty NOW!

*BLING!!* You become semi rich. Which means you own a lot of semi trucks. They haul stuff back and forth between various Stuff-Mart stores. They sometimes carry nice stuffs, but they're for customers, not you. You may own the semis, but Stuff-Mart treats you like a standard employee, meaning you get minimum wage, no benefits, and are expected to work at least 50% of your time off the clock. DEAD END JOB'D!!

I wish Cold Ones would pop out of Ramrod's forehead continuously.

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Granted, a Cold bottle of One pops out of his forehead whenever you poke his nose. You and Ramrod decide to open a pub downtown. However, a Mafia style gang comes in to collect "protection" funds. You refuse to pay up, so they break your kneecaps and kidnap Ramrod.

I wish I had Modular Tactical Vest, like the kind that SG-1 uses.

GRANTED! But you found it in a Biohazard facility and it had Goa'uld in one of the pockets. Now you have a deep voice, and you're basically evil. To a human that is, or anything that isn't a Goa'uld. GOA"ULD'D!

I wish my mom would stay away from my candy!

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Now we gotta worry about Dad. He's twice as worse.

I wish I could go into the past and be a better WikiUser than I think I am now.

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DO NOT ATTEMPT TO ADJUST THE JUMBOTRON, veterans, I'm really back.

Well, they didn't have wikis back then, boy. Now sit here down and let me tell you a story of the time when our tele-ma-phones still were connected to the moose with wires made of catgut!

I wish I had three arms.

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*BLING!!* You now have three arms. The third one is growing out the back of your neck, a la Trodgor. However, you now have only one leg, and it has a tentacle instead of a foot. Good luck walking anywhere!

I wish Eh Steve! would catch that worm.

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Eh, Steve! caught that worm. Now Sherlock is really POed at Eh, Steve! for catching his worm, and also at you for making that wish, so he and The Wheelchair kill you.

I wish something other than Finding Nemo were on right now.

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*BLING!!* Now all the channels are showing 24hr. marathons of "The Red Rider BB Gun Movie."

I wish BTG had an endless supply of margaritas.

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Drunk out of his skull, BTG takes a drive around town. However, by "around town" I mean "Through the back of his gargage and into you". You're dead.

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*BLING!!* You no longer exist. You see, you wished for nothing, and that's exactly what you get.

I wish Weird Al would become president of the United States and rule us with peace and justice and funny.

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Granted. Now gangsters must bowl with nerds, Dr. Pepper had 4 more flavors added to it, and you live in an Amish paradise.

I wish I could bring back the life of the Fanstuff Wiki.

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DO NOT ATTEMPT TO ADJUST THE JUMBOTRON, veterans, I'm really back.

*BLING!!* The Fanstuff Wiki comes back to life. Only now it's overrun with a bunch of 4chan wanna-bes. Nothing but endless repetition of the same old cliche memes.

I wish Kaldi's.

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Granted. But you die for no reason

*BLING!!* Now everyone on the whole planet has Rumble-Ball-aphobia. If they even look at a ball, they become extremely paranoid, thinking it might rumble on them and kill them. As a result, all our great sports are completely destroyed, and the state of Wisconsin kills you for destroying their one true love.

I wish a horde of woodpeckers would invade Alberto's house.

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The woodpeckers tried to peck it, but it was made of concrete, so they eat you instead, your flesh tastes feel like wood

Oh, I wish I wish I hadn't killed that fish.

You hadn't killed the fish, but it gains knowledge about technology somehow and causes a massive fish uprising and enlaves humanity.

I wish that I had the freaking Wii.

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>_>
<_<

You have the freaking Wii, but it sure is freaking. It is freaking you out so much, that you jump out of a window at how freakingly freaky it is.

I wish that my friend was here instead of South Dakota so we could hang out.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

BLING! Your friend is there so you can both hang out. And you promptly get arrested for indecent exposure.

I wish the internet was a big truck you could dump stuff on.

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the superhighway tunnel is one inch lower than the truck's height. you have to get out and walk. oh, no! dialup!


i wish for some lazor printer toner.

You get some lazor printer toner. Unfortunately, all you get is the powder, not a cartridge or anything to hold it. It gets all over your clothes and all over the floor, and you now have a huge freaking mess to clean up.

I wish Limozeen were back in Roman times instead of space.

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they drank the water and died. so do you, for no apparent reason.


i wish for an egg.

You get an egg. A veloceraptor egg. And the veloceraptors promptly kill you for trying to steal one of their eggs. VELOCERAPTOR'D!!

I wish telemarketers would disappear into another dimension and never be heard from again.

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They do, but so do all the girls. NO DATE'd.

I wish I had some new batteries for my LED light.

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They're quintuple-A batteries. You need forty-five of them. Each one costs one million Hong Kong dollars.

I wish I was mail.

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you get delivered to a crazy foot doctor whole does weird foot..like experiments on you.

i wish my fish had laser vision

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you suck

Your fish has laser vision! Aaaaaaaand yourfishlooksatyou! ZAPPITY ZAP!! (who didn't see THAT coming?)

I wish The Shoveler and the Blue Raja would start a new team with all new heroes and do a new movie.

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Granted, but it Sucks, just like the first one did.

I wish i had a gecko as a pet.

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Please click "view" on all the dragons listed. Thanks a million.

Please visit my city as well.

Have a nice Ian! You'll have to feed him and walk him 3 times a day and take him to school and teach him to talk and raise him and send him off to college with your pitiful minimum-wage style life.

I wish that I could play guitar well.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

BLING! You can now play the guitar well. That is, a well with strings across it. It's pretty much stuck in the ground, and Granny breaks at least two of your strings when she fetches water.

I wish joy to the fishes of the deep blue sea.

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