Ruin a Wish

barwhack · **Posted:** Tue May 01, 2007 4:57 pm

Your wish is granted. Your body temperature assumes ambient (since you are also in your house). Your hypothalamus doesn't like this and kicks off. The rest of your brain decides its time to move out, and you proceed to have a very severe, VERY brief, VERY eventful psychosis. Then, naked, bleeding, with toothpicks through anything on your body not flat -- you make it outside. Your brain is there, your hypothalamus resurreccts and makes you shiver from being 23.7o too cold and you go into shock. Your last memory before waking up in the hospital is dialing 911 on the cell phone inexplicably functioning, bloody, and toothpick-pinned to your right hand.

I wish to be EXACTLY AS I AM.

STupendous7 · **Posted:** Tue May 01, 2007 5:33 pm

You get to be what you are right now, which just happens to be a little bug which gets stepped on everytime somebody walks.

I wish somebody would ruin my wish.

Didymus · **Posted:** Tue May 01, 2007 6:11 pm

You turn into Clan rHrN. Since your entire world is chaotic and delusional anyway, you have no clue what's going on in reality. So your wish is ruined, but you don't know that it's ruined, thus pretty much defeating the purpose. Have a nice day, and say hello to Hilary Duff, Phil Argus, Jinzo, and Organization XIII for me!

I wish the madness would stop.

Sbemailman · **Posted:** Tue May 01, 2007 7:49 pm

The madness stops, there is world peace, aleins take over because we've thrown away all our weapons.
*Taken from the Simpsons.*

I wish for nine and a quarter gallons of Suudsu.

barwhack · **Posted:** Wed May 02, 2007 2:59 am

Yes, you do. But somebody pokes out your eye with a giant filed-edge spoon and scoops out the nasty curdles of gray matter that lay beneath; you are lobotomized. And you wish no more.

"I have have a hankerin' for a spankerin'." -Homer in "Two Dozen and One Greyhounds"
So I wish for Homer to get his "hankerin'". *chuckles* "spanking season"...

Sbemailman · **Posted:** Wed May 02, 2007 2:59 am

You didn't end the sentience, so the Ginni that was granting the wish to you got confused and blew up.
You are now covered in Ginni guts.

I wish I could beat Stinkoman without cheating.

STupendous7 · **Posted:** Wed May 02, 2007 12:50 pm

You do beat it, but by the time you finish, you're so old, you don't even remember what you were doing, and you die peacefully as your ship explodes in the last level.
I wish for a nicer computer.

Didymus · **Posted:** Wed May 02, 2007 5:40 pm

Combolations! You get the Hal 9000! Good luck staying alive!
Oh, and for some reason, it keeps calling you "Dave".
"Dave, what are you doing? What are you doing, Dave?"

I wish STupendous also had a talking toaster to go with his new Hal 9000.

Sbemailman · **Posted:** Wed May 02, 2007 10:00 pm

He gets it, but than it starts calling YOU Dave. Than the computer does to. Then they get so attached, that they move in with you. Now all they do is sit around all day making a mess and watching TV, and they wont get a job no matter how many times you ask them to.

I wish for an easy bake oven.

Didymus · **Posted:** Thu May 03, 2007 6:28 pm

You get an Easy Bake Oven. And while trying to bake your first muffin, you get your hand stuck in it, and it burns to a crisp. Oh, well. At least the family had crunchy "chicken" fingers for dinner.

I wish Homsar had a brain.

Setsumi-san · **Posted:** Thu May 03, 2007 9:00 pm

Bing! Homsar is now so smart that he has enslaved the entire human race.

I wish my hourly salary tripled.

STupendous7 · **Posted:** Thu May 03, 2007 11:46 pm

It triples, but then the stock market crashes, and the company you are working for loses all it's money, and then you lose all your money, and then you get sued by the company because you wished for more money, and have to give it all back.
I wish for another tree in our backyard.

Didymus · **Posted:** Fri May 04, 2007 1:01 am

You get a new tree in your backyard! YAY! And now you have someone who can tell you boring stories all day long, keep you up all night with his constant "HROUM! HRUMM!" and constantly tell you, "Don't be hasty!"

I wish for a lumberjack.

Wesstarrunner · **Posted:** Fri May 04, 2007 1:12 am

But the lumberjack you wish for decides to cut down all trees which lets carbon dioxide fill the air which speed global warming and we all fry.

I wish for a girlfriend.

Didymus · **Posted:** Fri May 04, 2007 1:15 am

HERE'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND!! Awww, ain't she pretty?

I wish for a car made entirely out of cardboard and duct tape, that actually works and gets great gas mileage.

Wesstarrunner · **Posted:** Fri May 04, 2007 1:22 am

But when you try to sell it nobody except preschoolers that like boxes want to buy it (they will pay 10 cents at best) because nobody trusts this new "Cadbordium Alloy" that your car is made of.

I wish for everything to be perfect.

Sbemailman · **Posted:** Fri May 04, 2007 2:21 am

Everything is now perfect, but now it's too perfect. You go crazy, things stop being perfect, and you spontaneously combust, for no reason.

STupendous7 · **Posted:** Fri May 04, 2007 1:09 pm

your wish is ruined by not wishing a wish of wish.

I wish ramrod didn't post that picture of him in a dress cause it gives me nightmares.

topofsm · **Posted:** Fri May 04, 2007 10:36 pm

Granted! Instead, he posts his picture of himself in a bikini. *STupendous7's eyes explode*.

I wish I could find more time for the forum.

Sbemailman · **Posted:** Fri May 04, 2007 10:39 pm

Poof
You now have no job or life.

Or will ever have a girl/boyfriend.

I wish I could own the newest Homestar DVD before anyone else.

Wesstarrunner · **Posted:** Sat May 05, 2007 3:07 am

But people mob you when you get it and you die of being mobbed/ trampled by mob.

I wish for equality of the species (i.e. animals equal to humans, blah blah, PETA running government...).

ready for prime time · **Posted:** Sat May 05, 2007 3:27 am

everyone becomes pasty and malnourished.

i wish for eight fish fingers. not on my hands or any part of my body. edible ones.

Sbemailman · **Posted:** Sat May 05, 2007 8:18 am

You get them. To bad the only way to get fish to have fingers is to mutate them. You are now FISH MAN! With the ability to drown on land!

I wish my name was Bob.

weer5e · **Posted:** Sun May 06, 2007 4:13 am

your name is BERT stalin hideki hitler mussolini hussian khomeini columbus

I wish I got mewtwo in pokemon

Didymus · **Posted:** Sun May 06, 2007 4:32 am

You get MewTwo. And he eats all your Mudkips. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! [/darthvader]

I wish I had a Margarita.

weer5e · **Posted:** Sun May 06, 2007 4:39 am

sure you can it just has no salt, no mix, no alcohol, just the chpped glass

I wish they amde a South Park: bigger longer uncut 2

StrongKirby · **Posted:** Sun May 06, 2007 4:28 pm

It does. However, since it's rated NC-17 (a step up from R, which is what the last BL&U was rated) and involves the use of 100+ offensive gestures and 250+ swears (50 of which are the F-bomb), the theaters are so packed - with KIDS - that you can't get in. Oh, and don't even think of snatching up the DVD at Blockbuster - they don't carry it, or any other NC-17 rated movie, at all. Not in the past, not now, not in the future. At all.

I wish for whirled peas.

Sbemailman · **Posted:** Sun May 06, 2007 9:22 pm

Okay, but they were whirled in a whirlpool, now you can enjoy them in it!

I wish, for a million pounds of candy, a million pounds!

Chocozuma · **Posted:** Mon May 07, 2007 4:09 am

You will Receive a million pounds of bum candy.

I wish For My Very Own The Cheat.

StrongKirby · **Posted:** Mon May 07, 2007 11:55 am

A vampire The Cheat, that is. It bites you and you know the rest.

I wish for eel-flavored pie. Not electric eel-flavored. Eel-flavored.

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Ruin a Wish

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