Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

Granted. There's only like 4 channels, each crappier than the last.

I wish I wasn't a dead raccoon.

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Wish granted. You're now a dying raccoon.



I wish I didn't join the wiki forum.

Granted. You disappear and everyone throws a huge par-tay.
(JK.)

I wish I wasn't dying or dead, but was still a raccoon.

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Granted. You're a raccoon with cancer.


EDIT: Oh yeah, forgot about wishing.

Um... I wish I was... not... pigeons.

Granted: Though pigeons are the only creatures able to survive the lethal plague in your area.

I wish this submarine would surface immediately.

Granted, it surfaces and subsequently gets attacked from below by a shark.

You die.

I wish I wasn't a raccoon anymore.

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That doesn't make any sense whatsoever. How could a shark be powerful enough to penetrate a metallic hull capable of surviving extreme undersea pressures? And in case you're wondering, that applies to the sub too!

But I digress. Granted: You are now a human... until midnight Central Time Zone when you will promptly be turned back into a racoon. Enjoy your remaining 1 hour and 45 minutes of humanity.

I wish I had some solvent to unglue my feet off of the sub.

Granted. Somehow your feet get frozen in the water.

I wish I were more realistic.

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Granted. You're so realistic that you become the most pessimistic person on the planet.

I wish I could hang out with Bruce Lee for a day.

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Shameless Flogging Molly fan

****

"The next worst word you can couple with the word fan is, you guessed it, the word FICTION."-Strong Bad, "fan club"

*attempts to break ice with metal fists*

Granted: He uses you as a face-kicking target for 24 hours.

I wish myself to be in Chicago.

Granted. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP HONK HONK HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK

I wish I actually knew what realistic meant when I thought of wishing to be more realistic.

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Granted: Though the following definitions from Webster have been translated to Pig Latin for your inconvenience.
1ay: oncerncay orfay actfay orway ealityray andway ejectionray ofway ethay impracticalway andway isionary
2vay away: away octrineday atthay universalsway existway outsideway ethay indmay; ecificallyspay ay: ethay onceptioncay atthay anway abstractway ermtay amesnay anway independentway andway unitaryway ealityray bay: away eorythay atthay objectsway ofway ensesay erceptionpay orway ognitioncay existway independentlyway ofway ethay indmay —ay omparecay ominalism
3nay: ethay eorythay orway acticepray ofway idelityfay inway artway andway iteraturelay otay aturenay orway otay ealray ifelay andway otay accurateway epresentationray ithoutway idealizationway

Well, it may be noisy here in Chicago, but at least my feet aren't stuck in/on anything.
*accidentally steps in quick-drying cement* ... Aw crackles.

I wish I had a Sonic Screwdriver to resonate the concrete.

Granted.

I wish I'd chosen a more recent picture of Sonic.

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Granted: But the joke is neither funnier nor less cheesy because of it.

I wish I had a sonic screwdriver as seen in Doctor Who, the British SciFi TV series.

granted you stat to chip away at the cement but your hand slips and cuts your foot off(darn now we can only glue one foot to stuff)

I wish I was in a rock band that was famous

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"I gut you like sheep."

granted you are randy rhoads, then you die in a plane crash

i wish that i can understand what the cheat is saying

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My Signature is Non Existant, wait, nevermind

Granted. Now you can only speak The Cheat, which only you and The Cheat understand. He has nothing interesting to say.

I wish I didn't suck at Brawl.

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Granted, you rule so much the game crashes.
Forever.

I wish I didn't have such a big craving for agnst.

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Granted. Now you have a craving for pufferfish. Way to go, loser.


I wish I remembered that thing.

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Granted, you remember the thing, but forget when you get hit in the head with a cinderblock

I wish nothing bad happens from this wish

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My Signature is Non Existant, wait, nevermind

Granted. So much good stuff happens that you get sick of it and commit suicide.

I wish I had a punching bag.

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You already have one. Your own testicles.


I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish...

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Nothing happens...exept you get thrown off a building my some yahoo.

I wish I knew what I want to wish for.

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Granted. Boy, what a waste of a wish. Dirtbag.

I wish that Pi ended.

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Granted. It ends in your head.

I wish starcraft maniac would quit calling people names.

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I am deeply affended, good sir. Hmmph!


I wish that this wish isn't worthless.

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Granted, it's worth one penny.

I wish I had more blue in my life.

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Granted. You pour windshield-wiper fluid into your eyes, and you can see all blue for one minute, then die. Way to go.

I wish that 3.14 day was every day.

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Granted. You die from eating too much pie.

I wish I had a little less blue in my eyes.

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Granted. You gouge your eyes out with forks.

I wish that I am God. No acceptions.

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