Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

Granted, some bubble gum appears next to you, and you chew it. Unfortunately, this gum was no ordinary gum-- it was Garthon, the leader of an alien race that happens to look like Earthen foodstuffs. These aliens' planet had been destroyed, so they were looking for a new one. With its final breath, Garthon calls for his military fleet. Enough assessing the planet's weaknesses! They attack! The aliens call for doom weapons and fleets of their warships in immense quantities and swiftly capture all of the human race. The aliens reconstruct the planet to fit their own needs. Humans are now the equivilant of gum to the aliens. Nice one.

I wish for a hang glider.

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64-Chapter 36: Swords Dunce

Your hang glider doesn't work and you fall into the Killing Cliffs of Rl' Yeh!

I wish that I could wish as many wishes as I want.

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Granted. You can wish all you want but they never come true.


I wish I could remember to post a wish.

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The wish gennie shakes his head, since that's something you already know how to do. You just did it. By asking for this wish. Which proves you can remember to post a wish. So there's no point granting you something you already have. But, fine. Your wish is granted, not that anyone can tell the difference. Happy?

I wish to become rich and powerfull, but not famous.

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*BLING!* You turn into the man pulling Bill Gates' strings. You are one of the most powerful and rich men in the world. Unfortunately, every time you go to make a purchase or to use your great powers, people don't believe you're real. They ignore you and accuse you of only pretending to be rich and powerful. They confiscate all the money you try to spend, believing it to be counterfeit. But when they try to have you arrested, they forget who you are, so at least you don't go to jail. But you die on a big pile of money, alone. Only Bill Gates seems to know who you are, but he doesn't really care anymore.

I wish giant squids would solve the world's food shortage.

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Everyone eats giant squids, and becomes obese.

I wish that Shippinator Mandy would stop disliking me for no reason at all.

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She stops disliking you for no reason. Now she dislikes you because you constantly hit on her and creep her out.

I wish Jessica Rabbit would perform in my town.

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Granted. She comes to your town, but you miss the show and all your friends laugh at you.

I wish i had the skills of an artist.

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You have the skills of an artist. You promptly draw like a million pics of Trogdor the Burninator. The Bros Chap immediately sue you for copyright infringement and take everything, including the shirt off your back. Now you will have to spend the rest of your life wearing a barrel, carrying a sign that says, "Will draw for Pocky!" At that point, t0_the_m00n promptly sues you for trademark infringement.

I wish dolphins could talk like Pee Wee Herman.

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Granted. Unfortunately, they almost never speak, and when they do, they just scream obscenities.

I wish I was Robin Hood.

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To bad, You are transformed into william tell.

I wish I could see again.

*BLING!* [/tinkly magic noise] You are now Robin Hood. You now prance gaily around the Forest in tights with your Merry Men. When you aren't robbing from the rich to give to the poor, you spend most of your time doing hair, nails, and make-up.

I wish Darth Jones were no longer the Evil Sith Lord of the Flying Pizza Empire.

SIMULPOST'D!! The next person answer mine and Alberto's.

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Alberto your wish is granted! You walk outside and then the sun blinds you from being in the dark so long!

Didymus! Darth Jones is now the Good Sith Lord of the Flying Pizza Empire. You still support him each time you buy a pizza.

Now! I wish that I was the coolest and also smartest person in school.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

Topofsm, Your school burns down one day when you're sick at home, killing all the other people at your school, leaing you at the coolest and also smatrtest student enroled in that school... as well as the only one. It is a hollow feeling of superiority.

I wish I could shoot lazers from my eyes.

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You can. You burninate everything you look at. You try your best not to let any part of your body in view, but you blink and your eyes burn, you peek at your hands and they burn, you trip and look at your legs and they burn etc...

I wish my old dog would come back to life... Alive, not undead.


Her.

Granted. You dog comes back to life.....as a human. You find dogs are real jerks if they can talk, and there's no way to get rid of him. You go crazy.


I wish I had a bottle of Klatchian Coffee.

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Granted. You drink too much and are forever in a state of knurd. You fall into a deep pit of depression.

I wish I could fly!

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I don't know what I'm doing with my life...I'm thinking of going into...MALE MODELING!

Granted. You are now a fly, and end up squashed by an out of control baseball.

I wish I had all your base.

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http://thedoubledeuce.exoboards.com

Granted. You have all the baseball bases in the world. This is pretty useless.

I wish I wasn't knurd anymore (or drunk for that matter)

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Ah, but you are now tipsy. (Please specify)

I wish everyone would look at the advice that is on my sig.

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Granted. Everyone looks at your sig and gets even more angry at you. Beatdown ensues.

I wish someone who actually knew anything about Discworld (i.e., not clan.) would spoil my last wish.

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Sorry, Clan is impervious to logic, so this is not possible.

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner.

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So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain. Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell?

Granted, you're an Oscar Meyer Weiner. 'Cause that is truely what you want to be. 'Cause if you were an Oscar Meyer Weiner, everyone would be in love with --*BAM* A frenzied crowd of hungry people tackle you and cut you into tiny pieces small enough so everyone in the world can have a microscopic piece. D:

I wish to be faster than a speeding bullet.

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64-Chapter 36: Swords Dunce

Granted! you run faster than a speeding bullet, and run into a stop sign. You should have stopped. You dead.

I wish that I was lost.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

Granted. You get lost in a Wal*Mart produce isle. Some crazy old lady picks you up, thinking you're a head of cabbage. You yell at her, but she's deaf. The other shoppers don't care. You are cooked for dinner that night. Mm.

I wish for a flamethrower.

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64-Chapter 36: Swords Dunce

Granted! Some past roommate of yours asks to borrow it and you never see it again. At least you didn't die.

I wish that I could be half man/half ghost.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

Granted. The left side of your body is man, the right side is ghost. ;P

I wish they'd discover a new planet and name it after me.

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64-Chapter 36: Swords Dunce

Granted! They find a planet and name it "Freakin' Idiot!".

I wish that all the nerds and geeks at my school got transferred to Yugoslavia.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

Granted. Yugoslavia is, that same day, zapped into an alternate dimension in which all of your desires come true with just a thought. w00t.

I wish I was in that alternate dimension right now.

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64-Chapter 36: Swords Dunce

Granted! You randomly desire to be dead.

I wish that I knew every drum beat perfectly to every song ever.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.