Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

Granted. Your brain overloads and a'splodes all over your clean white carpet. Pity.

I wish my couch was on fire.

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64-Chapter 36: Swords Dunce

Granted. That knowedge is more than could posibly be contained in one human brain, though; you head a-splode.

I wish I'd stop having these crazy dreams.

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Granted! You have those crazy dreams. Those are worse.

I wish that I was Strong Mad.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

Granted: You now must cominucate only in nearly inenteligable one or two-word phrases.

I wish I has more Salsa.

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Granted! The salsa burns off your tongue and you miss the superbowl. It turns out whoever you didn't want to win wins. Thats $100 out of your pocket.

I wish that I had a cool pseudoname.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

Granted. Everyone calls you ICE and they used blowdryers to warm you up until you exploded from heat...explosion.

I wish I was alive in the 80's.

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Granted. You were born on the day before New Years in 1989.

I wish my yard suddenly caught fire.

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64-Chapter 36: Swords Dunce

Granted! Your yard catches fire and destroys your priceless Star Trek collectible garden gnome. You knew you should have insured that.

I wish that I owned a cool cruise ship.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

Granted. It's really cool, but not very sturdy. You crash into a rogue ice cube and drown everyone.

I wish for a grand piano.

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64-Chapter 36: Swords Dunce

You get a grand piano. It is very grand. If only anyone within a 50 mile radius could teach you the piano.

I wish that I could punch some of these posters in the face in person and they couldn't hurt me.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

Granted. They can't hurt you, but their lawyers can... in the wallet.

I wish for a giant squid statue.

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64-Chapter 36: Swords Dunce

Granted! It has a lot of tentacles. You trip over one and break every bone in your body.

I wish that I was the administrator of these forums.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

Granted, you now have the burden of maintaining and overseeing the operation of one of the server that these forums rely on. For no pay.

I wish I had a white-light LED flashlight.

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You get the cool flashlight. Unfortunately, the Good Sith Lord (go figure!) Darth Jones mistakes it for a light saber and interprets your holding it as an attempted attack. He chops you into tiny bits. You make good pizza toppings for Hannibal Lector.

I wish the Steelers hadn't won last night.

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Granted. The Aliens won last night. Won the UNIVERSE, that is. We're all taken as slaves. Good jorb.

I wish I could steal money with my MIND.

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You steal lots of money with your mind. The Brain Police come and throw you in Mind Prison. That'll mind-learn ya!!

I wish Hanz and Franz were my personal trainers.

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Granted! but you can't understand their Hanz and Franzian accent, a whole lot of good that does to you. You end up getting chased into a gorilla pit and get mauled.

I wish that I was best friends with Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt, and Tre Cool, the musicians in Green Day.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

Your wish comes true, and you go on tour with the Green Day musicians, only to be inadvertently crushed to death when a enourmous "Green Day" sign acidentaly falls on your during a performance at Wemblem Stadium.

I wish I worked on The Daily Show With John Steward.

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You do. You're that guy who cleans the place after the show.

I wish there was no religion.

Your wish comes true. Um.. I can't see a downside to that one... but I have to, 'cause the game compells me.. so... uh... the pope becomes unemployed and blames you for his downfall. He's a peacfull man, but he's been pushed to his breaking point. He stalks you for twenty years and makes your life a living heck.

I wish AMD would hurry up and mass-produce the Socket AM2 CPUs already.

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Granted. They cost a ridiculous amount of money. Good luck finding one.

I wish I had the crossbow from Oddworld Stranger's Wrath. (and I knew how to use it, and I had ammo for it)

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Granted! But those chipmunks are your only ammo and they run away. The only thing you can do with it now is whack enemies on the head.

I wish that I never had to sleep.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

Granted. Unethical sleep research scientists lock you away an perform various experiments on you.

I wish my Mac 'N Cheese was more cheese and less mac.

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*BLINGGG!!* Mac and Cheese turns into Goldfish and Cheese. And by "Goldfish" I mean actual real-live fish that swim around in bowls, not the tiny fish-shaped crackers. And now you have to swallow your Goldfish and Cheese whole and live, and you can feel them wiggling around in your stummy.


That, and now EVERYONE goes to heck.

I wish I had a nice KeySwordTar.

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Granted: You now have a nice keyswordtar. And no idea how to use it. It collects dust on a shelf.

I wish i didn't have a cold. :achoo:

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You recover from your cold. But now, instead of a cold, you now have the hots. For Ramrod. Jibbly.

I wish turnips could dance and sing.

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They can, but they refuse to. So there's not realy any change.

I wish the next person won't be Clan.

Granted. Um...but I AM Mandy. And because of this, I shall run around singing the Bacon Man song.

But at least I'm not Clan!

I wish Bonus Stage would come back.

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Bonus Stage does come back, but he's old now and he just isn't cool any more.

I wish Firaxis would release a new Civ 4 patch already.

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It comes back, but they have to hire scab actors to play the characters. It's just not the same.

I wish I had a bunch of robots to do my yard work.

SIMULPOST'D!! The next wisher answers mine and Sarge's.

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