Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

They released the Civ 4 patch, and Didymus has a bunch of robots that does his yard work, but then the Civ 4 patch messed up the robots AI so now they're programmed to kill you both. Using a bannana.

I wish I could do anything!

Um, ok. You can do anything. But what you actualy do is sit here and waste your time in an online forum playing text games with people you've never met. loooser!

I wish I wasn't such a looser.

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*BLING!!* You are no longer such a loser. You are now Max Power, a man whose name is so cool, they had to put it on hair dryers. Unfortunately, Homer Simpson takes you to court for trademark infringement, and you end up losing everying. Including your compy. You end up having to buy a new Tandy 400 at Bubs Conces5ion Stand. And it was haunted by a bad graphics ghost.

I wish French Fries were flying around my house.

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They are. Except it's not fries, it's airplanes. And they're not french anymore, they're stolen by terrorists. And they're not flying around your house... Yeah, you died.

I wish the KoT was put on a diet.

KOT is put on a diet, mostly of Nukerwave Turduckens. Somehow or another, he mistakes your username (Duke Nuke) for one of his favorite brands, so he cooks you and eats you. EAT'D BY THE KOT'D!!

I wish I had sent that package by FedEx instead.

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Granted: You were fedexed... but the FedEx guy triped on the sidwalk outside your house as he was delivering it, breaking his arm crushing two of his ribs. He sues you for an unsafe entranceway, and now you have to hire a lawyer to defend against his lawsuit.

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*BLING!* You turn into a fish. For no reason. Except that you forgot to wish for something, and the djinni isn't the most patient guy around.

I wish Space Captainface would come to my town and do a lecture about his adventures in space travel.

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Space Captainface crashlands on your house, killing you and really making a mess of your living room. But you're dead, so you can't clean it.

Now that I'm a fish (for no reason) I wish I could swim like a whale.

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You can swim like a whale. But since you're a fish, and not a whale, you swim wrong and sink. At the bottom of the ocean you get crushed by the immense weight of the water above.

Argh, I wish I hadn't forgotten to make a wish again... >.<

That was very confusing, so...The Wish Geenie's head explodes.
Which, of course, kills you instantly. But next time you won't forget.

I wish I may
I wish I might
fly a brliiant
glorious
magical
kite
Alright?

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Done. You may wish you might fly a brliiant glorious magical kite Alright. You don't, however.

I wish school was fun.

Okie dookie. Shcool was fun, but now it's a living hell. Perhjasp if you spend more time paying attention in school you'd know your tenses and verbs and you wouldn't set up wishes that can be easily ruined in this fassion.

I wish for a Bannana Split from Dairy Queen, extra chocolate sauce, hold the sprinkles.

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Okelydokely, gotta warn ya' tough, the bannana's been lying around since The Cheat's birthdayparty, whenever that was. Not to talk about the chocolate "sauce".

I wish that I knew how you knew that I knew what you know that I know that you knew what you knew when I know that you knew how I know what I know, when you know that I knew what you knew and I know how you knew that you know how I knew what you know that I know.

At the risk of making the Wish Geenie's head explode again: You now know all that you wished for. Oh, look: Your head exploded. Imagine that.

I wish I could make my head explode at will. That'd be so cool.

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Deal. Saves me work.

I wish you can't wish! Ha!

Once again, the Wish Genie is in danger of head explosion. Fortunately, your wishes don't actual affect the next person posting after you. So, some random person (the "you" in your wish) has lost the ability to wish. Since wishing is analous to creativity, you have deprived the human race of some small measure of it's potential. This impacts your life in a small, hardly noticable, fassion. Well, that is, until this "you" person realises what was done to him and hires an assasin to kill you for what you did to him with your wish-depriviung wish.

(Man, that was a long way to go to tap-dance around your logic bomb!)

I wish for a cup of coffee. Warm, delicious coffee. With just the right ammount of sugar. And a drop of cream (the way I like it) IN a cup. On planet earth, in my apartment. Alone. With a bountifull supply of oxygen. And no crazy people trying to kill me. Nor attack dogs, nor exploding heads, nor anything else life-thretening. Just Coffee. Is that too much to wish for?

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You get the coffee, and it is quite grood. You drink the coffee, but you want more. You want it so much that you kill someone for it. The cops find you, convict you, and give you the injection. All this for some coffee...

I wish I am the best golfer in the world, and that this wish can not possibly be ruined in any way.

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GENGHIS KHAN!!!!!

Sorry, but the rules of this thread specificly command me to RUIN your wish. No wishing for un-ruined wishes. It takes the fun right out of it.
So, instead I get to REVERSE your wish. You're now the WORST golfer in the world, but becasue you're so bad people feel sorry for you and make an extra effort to be nice to you.

Ok, that was weird. Let's not do that again.
:ahem:

I wish for my pants to be full of whiped cream whilst I am a circus clown.

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Granted! You are an underpaid circus clown and your friends make fun of you because you have "whipped cream" in your pants. Kids can be so cruel.

I wish I wasn't so cruel.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

Granted. You are now completely submissive and people take advantage of you. You end up going broke.

I wish that I was just a few inches taller.

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I don't know what I'm doing with my life...I'm thinking of going into...MALE MODELING!

You undergo a long sequence of painfull bone-lengthening sugeries to gain just a few inches of height. Hwoever, you acidentaly get infected with hepetitis B during one of the surgeries from a bit of tained blood that sliped through the blood screening system. You're a bit taller now, but you wither away from an incurable disease.

I wish for a fully automatic coffee machine that not only automaticly makes the coffee but also automaticly refills itself and pours the coffee upon demand.

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Done. Tough, you don't like coffee anymore.

I wish that the Wish Genie's head exploded permanently.

Permenent is a relitive thing for a mystical Genie. After all, he can do pretty much anything, so the normal laws of permenence don't apply to him. You, on the other hand, shouldn't mess with things you don't understand. You wished for the Wish Genie's head to permenently explode. Which it does.. sort of. It repeatedly explodes inside your dreams, which can be very disconcerting. You eventualy go insane and need to be locked up in a loonnie bin.

i wish I was I pirate.
I wish I was was going over the Cork and Kerry mountains
where I saw a-captain Ferrul
his money he was counting
I first produced my pistol
and next produced my saber
I said: "Stand and deliver, or the devil he may take you"

I took all of his money
and it was a pretty penny
I took all ovf his money, yea
I took it home to my lady
She said how she loved me,
how never would she leave me
But the devil take that woman!
For you know, she tricked me easy.

I shout a' hey ma-da-du-da-ma-da
Whack for my daddy-oh
whack for my daddy-oh
there's whiskey in the jar-o.

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After your woman left you, you felt so depressed that you drank all the whiskey in the yar-o. Your liver a'splode.

I wish I would invent something so awesome that it causes world peace, yet so suprisingly simple that I could build one in less than a minute using things you can find in your house.

You do this,and it works. Peace breaks out all over the world.
However, this use up all of your mental energy and that sent you into deep psycyogenic feuge; so now you just sorta sit facing a blank wall a drool a bit while the nurse spoon-feeds you pudding. Ocasionaly you twitch a bit. Congratualtions, you're the first vegtable to win the Nobel Peace Prize. I'd ask you how it feels, but it's kinda pointless.

I wish the suburbs had the charms to soothe the restless dreams of youth.

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*GHI-Yoing Yoing!* [/magical genie sound] The people in the suburbs lose all their restless dreams. Life gets really boring. Congratulations: you are now officially bored out of your freaking skull! In fact, you become so bored, your head a splode! And all the boring suburbanites look, and go right back to being boring.

I wish I knew Kung Fu.

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Your wish comes true. You know how to say the words "Kung-Fu" but that's about it. Not very impressive, is it?

I will have a single plum, suspended in a litre of french perfume, served in a man's hat.
(Fifty bonus points if you can tell me what episode of what show that's from)

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Is that from M*A*S*H? It sounds like something Klinger would say.

NEWay,
Wish granted.
The man's hat is infected with a new disease, and you die.

I wish to have a million dollars bill.

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{Nope, it was from The Simpsons. The episode where the B-Sharps appear. It's spoken by Barney's Avant Guard/Zheature of ze Abzurd girlfriend, in Moes. Moe then promptly serves here exactly what she asked for as if he was expectin here to order that.}

There has been an error in the Wish Genie accounting depratment, and you are promptly crushed my a hail of one million dollars... in pennies.

I wish that I find a single, shiney, new penny. You know, for good luck.

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Granted! You find a penny. Then some cops arrest you and they find traces of marijuana on it. You go to prison for 12 1/2 years.

I wish that I had a pencil.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.