Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

You will wake up do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep.

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Dag, yo.

You will explode in a violent boom, caused by a lard...kirby.

Taurus.

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You will light a match, & cause something to explode. According to the stars, your face.

Sagittarius

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It is dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue. (bonus points if you get the reference!)

Pisces

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Somebody will write an electro song about you, & you will be famous. Then the stars will actually laugh at you.

Sagittarius

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Your clothes are trying to suffocate you! Quick, burn them!

Libra

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You will be possessed by Charlie Brown for approximately 12 minutes. The path of Mercury shows that red won't be a good color on you this month.

Sagittarius

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Great news, Sagittarius! When Pluto swings into the seventh house on the 16th, you will cease giving off that nasty odor that has deterred the opposite sex for so long! Lie low, though, as a false friend will try to take advantage of you and steal your wallet and car keys. Beware of carbonated drinks and the urge to scratch your ear. Your lucky color this week is fresh mango!

I'm a Gemini

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~*The Only Thing to Do is Jump Over the Moon*~

Not so good news. Dragons will eat your babies. Your lucky number is seventeen, though, so try to squeeze in as many R-rated movies as possible.

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I'm guessing your a Sag....

You will go to a rave party, and collapse outside afterwards.
After a lengthy investigation, the media will come to the conclusion that you didn't die from eating contaminated easter eggs, but rather a drug overdose

(Ok, this actually happened in my town last night, I just wanted to include it somewhere. I'm not gonna wish that on anyone!)

Virgo

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Now is not a good time to draw all over your mom in Bic pen. Wash down that guilt you're feeling with some expired grape soda.

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Stop stealing from "Weird Al" Yankovic. Make love, not toilets. Don't throw away that expired milk; it's still good!

Pisces

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So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain. Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell?

According to Pluto's position, you should probably get an eye exam. But the stars also say you should throw away all your coasters. Either way, be careful of the color yellow.

Sagittarius

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Sagg-er-eemo- Listen to Bob Marley.Listen to Bob Marley.Listen to Bob Marley.Listen to Bob Marley.Listen to Bob Marley.Listen to Bob Marley.Listen to Bob Marley.Listen to Bob Marley.Listen to Bob Marley.Listen to Bob Marley.Listen to Bob Marley.Listen to Bob Marley.Listen to Bob Marley.Listen to Bob Marley.Listen to Bob Marley.

Cancer.

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Dag, yo.

A plane will fall out of the sky & land on your school, office, or or home. Don't touch $5 bills.

Sag'

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Sage- OK, no one likes you. Befriend animals.

Cancer again. Like it matters.

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Dag, yo.

Someone will attempt to light you on fire this week. The stars will favor your survival-if you're wearing white.

Sagittarius

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All your wildest dreams will come true, then you'll wake up and realize it was all a dream.

Gemini

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The soda machines have it out for you this week. A salseman will come to your door, greet him warmly.

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Blank blank blank, blankety blank blank. Blank? Blank!

Seriously, put your (or at least an) astrological sign in next time.

Pisces

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So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain. Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell?

You're gonna die eventually. Spend time with your toaster tonight.

Aquarius.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

Your Dog will playfully lick you, but he will get a taste for your flesh. Spend the rest of your life using all your money to buy a cat.

Cancer

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Big Brother 2008 - Vote Me in! http://bigbrother.com.au/voting.html?memberId=536931

It is suggested you use the browser firefox for these few upcoming days, if your computer is happy, aren't you happy
virgo

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If I had posted during the time of COVID, COLA woulda called me worse than the virus.

Go ahead & eat that extra piece of cake; your thighs will never look better.

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You'll hear a song on the radio that will change your life for about the first 5 seconds. Then you'll wonder what the crap you're doing listening to that station.

Aries.

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Try not to look at the sky today; you'll have too much positive energy.

Sagittarius

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A friend will try to stab you in the back. Consider purchasing a huge shield and wearing it in the back of your shirt. Either that, or train a Typhlosion monkeroo to set blaze to him. Stupid backstabbin' friend.

Gemini

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Your kidneys will fail sometime next week, say the stars. Don't forget to change the soap in your shower.

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Consider switching phone companies. The stars say that your current one is charging TOO MUCH! Switch to Acme Long Distance, from the same people that brought you Acme Horoscopes!

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Don't go to a karaoke bar this Thursday; a guy who happens to be named Tom Jones will be forced to sing "It's Not Unusual" in front of his drunken friends. This will throw your chi off-balance and cause you to only write in blue ink for the rest of your life.

Sag'

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