WARNING: SCIENCE CONTENT!

I believe you have my stapler?

My mommy says I'll never amount to anything and she regrets ever having me.

Once upon a time, there was a spoon, and it ate an entire bushel of fresh peeled fruit. But wait! Spoons don't eat fruit! So then it decided to eat some veggies and watersauce. But watersauce can't be eaten because then the earth explodes and everything dies horribly and with many kittens. So the spoon decided to cut itself with his friend, fork.
"I'm sorry," said fork, "I can't bring myself to horribly mutilate somebody."
"I'm doing this to release my emotional pain"
"Well... allright." said fork.
Then, Mr. Knife appeared
Knife sweared at us"Why not let me?"
Everyone died. The end.
Now this is about people that are not as smart as Albert Einstein, but they're half dead susicidle grandparents who live in caves thought that the earth was made entirely of pepperoni. So they all ate the most teenagers, but they ate the most pants defying the laws of physics ever found to be very low in sodium. Then they found out that the world was nonsense, so teenagers started to find out that They ate some gross soggy towlettes they found laying in the bathroom and ignorant piece of fat chicken as well. Then they all decided the moon was cheese. They ate the moon by catching it in a giant can of great, delicious diggity-underdrawers.
However, these particular underdrawers

They clean up shop when nobody is waiting for sammiches.
Also, employees get 10% discount.

Stop..calling...me...PUMPKIN!!!

No, that's what Strong Bad would do.

i can haz a garlfrend

Why, I know, Biscuit. I could not... uh... *thinks moar*

Oh, so you're Canadian.

Waking up in middle of the night to a licking sensation on your feet. When you look down at your feet, you find that it's Yoda, who is purring while he licks.

I'm small cheese?

Gameboys? Whatever happened to Gamekids?

Banned because this-guy is right.

I'm gonna stab some burritos.

I'm uhh...here for the giant roach position.

Wow. Maybe it's good my brother forced me to log off for an hour...

Why does my shadow look so manly?

lol, wordfilter.

Uh-oh...is there anything for me to land on?

I just got that.

srsly

Oh..wow. That must have been so rewarding.

O_O

Maby if im cute enough i'll get my own game!

emo = mainstream
its not "undergound" anymore

Biblical Hebrew has some 3,000 words in it's vocabulary (At least it did back then. I'm not sure how much it has grown since the creation of Genesis). This means that some words are going to have more than one meaning. The Hebrew (the author of Genesis was Moses) word for "day" has several different meanings. It can mean "a 24-hour period." It can mean "period of time." It can mean "epoch."

So I guess you can interpret it how you want. We're not sure how Moses intended the word "day" to be used.

My Spring break started in December.

Clan is Clapper?

My Spring break started in December.

I nominate this for funniest quote:

I'm gonna stab some burritos.