Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

I take the stick (which, for some convenient reason, already has a sharp point), mash it into the anaconda's head, pick up the log, throw it at the people playing chess, (how DARE they play chess right in front of me when I'm being killed by a snake!), and run off.

You guest-star in a H*R toon, but you are stuck in the black. All you have is a picture of Lil' Brudder and Strong Sad.

EDIT: TOTPD!!:eekdance:

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"And everyone lived happily ever after..."
"...Until the giant ants came and slaughtered everyone."

Homestar is coincedentelly in the toon. I show the pic of Li'l Brudder, and he starts crying. Then that allows me to walk out of the black.

You're stuck in a forum loaded with a bunch of noobs. Nearby is your admin status on that forum, and a billion ban buttons.

I take my admin status, use that to figth my way through the n00bs to the ban buttons then, FOR GREAT JUSTICE, I press all ban-tons.

You are trapped in an exploding spaceship in space. Nearby is a grimy floor, your trusty mop, and your commanding officer who is shouting at you to clean that floor!!1

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"And everyone lived happily ever after..."
"...Until the giant ants came and slaughtered everyone."

Beat the crap out of that guy with the mop, then wipe himm all over the floor. Die. Hey, at least I got to pwn that dude before I died.

You're stuck in a room with nothing in it except a computer. The computer has internet, but every site except Kidz Bop's is blocked, and you have no control over it. Things nearby are..um...the computer.

Quick! Run out the door!

You are inside an active volcano. The lava is rising steadily. You are on a ledge about 10 feet above the lava. In your pocket is a wallet with several credit cards, $30 in five dollar bills, and a pen. You also have a pack of gum.

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No, I lied. I'm never going to have a good sig. So just forget about it.

Give the lava all my money. Then it's happy and leaves me alone.

You are in the jaws of an O RLY owl. It keeps annoyingly squaking "OOOOOO RLY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Nearby are some twigs, a forum n00b, a hobo, some more grandpas playing chess, and and LOLCOPTER.

Pry yourself out of it's beak with the twigs and put the forum noob in to keep it satisfied. get in the LOLcopter and fly away. I hope the second old person wins.

You are stuck in a refrigerator which will not open. Inside there is old milk, orange juice, 3 apples, two oranges, a bag of grapes, leftover pork chops, butter, and some lettuce. You may also be able to break off some of the "shelves". Outside the refrigerator are two guard dogs and one person, all who want you dead.

I take the year-old milk and porkchops, and threaten a meantally retarded guard to throw them at him if he does not open the door. Once he opens the door, I use the milk and porkchops as toxic weapons, and escape.

You are trapped in a 10x10 foot room. You are tied in a chair, and surrounded by motion-detecting lasers, which will set off gatling guns posisioned around the room if set off. Nearby are the motion detectors, your clothes, and a paper bag.

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"And everyone lived happily ever after..."
"...Until the giant ants came and slaughtered everyone."

Spit at the paper bag, sending gun fire towards it. This creates a hole in the cheap floor boards. Avoiding the lasers, as they are not directly on you, and tie your clothes into a rope. Swing it round at a gun, so that the others aim at it, ready to fire. It senses the other guns moving, causing it to fire at all of them, while the other guns fire at it. They destroy each other. Use the rope to climb down the hole.

You are in a plane. The pilots have parashuted out. The plane will crash if you don't make it pull up. The controls do not work. Nearby there is a rope, a missile, and some M&Ms.

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the back windows. why didn't i think of that?

back to work.
METHOD 1: make the plane fall just beside the pilots. the control's won't work, so you have to jump up and down at ends of the plane. then tell the pilots if they help you, you will give them some M&Ms. if that doesn't work, threaten them with the missile. they're experts, so they can help you.
METHOD 2: ride the missile out the door and jump off before it hits land. eat some M&Ms.
METHOD 3: hang yourself with the rope. it'll be less painless that a horriffic fiery crash. only if the other plans don't work.

Because you didn't post a situation, I do nothing. That still means I win, right?!

You are in a room. Your body and head are tied up to the floor by rope. You can only move your fingers, toes, and head, but just a little bit. Your rival is about to throw a bomb at you, which will blow up (and probably kill you) if it hits something or something hits it. You can reach a paper clip, but out of your reach is a boxing glove and a tennis ball.

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take the paperclip and throw it at the bomb. The bomb explodes before your rival can throw it, and probably kills him. Then squirm out of the room for help.

You are in a totally featureless room. The room is inside a castle in the middle of the ocean, and it is about to explode because some short guy with a metal arm and leg didn't like it. Nearby is a pencil, the walls, and your convenient knowlege of alchemy. ((extreme FMA reference))

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"And everyone lived happily ever after..."
"...Until the giant ants came and slaughtered everyone."

use the pencil as a pick and climb up and over the wall. (you didn't say there was a roof). then, if the metal guy is still there, use his arm and leg to make a boat and row to safety.

now, you are inside a steel vault, with a light in it, so you can see what you are doing. you have an amplifier and an mp3 player with The Mosquito Noise on it.

walk out of the vault. ((you never said the vault was closed or locked!))

Now, you are in some guy's closet, and there are four walls made of iron, a roof made of iron, and a locked wrought-iron door to the weast (he's very protective of his clothes). There is also a very solid floor. Nearby is a lot of clothes, and the hangers that they hang on. There is also a toothpick.

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"And everyone lived happily ever after..."
"...Until the giant ants came and slaughtered everyone."

Go under the door to the weast. (you never said that the door itself wasn't just a few inches tall)

Your ironically crazy psychiatrist (sp?) has tied you to a chair, and strapped a bomb to you that will explode in 1 minute. Neaby is, um...the chair, the rope, and the bomb.

(again, mystery prize for whoever PMs me with the reference I made)

your ironically crazy psychiatrist is also very stupid. he was holding the bomb upside down, so that leaves you 1000 minutes. that should leave you enough time to shimmy out of the ropes.

you re in the anti-universe. you got ejected from the universe, so you are floating in a white space, with nothing. well, except your clothes. there are NO LOOPHOLES!

Tear a hole into Hammerspace, and go through it to the real world.

You are trapped in Hammerspace. You don't know where you are, or how you got there. Nearby is pretty much everything.

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"And everyone lived happily ever after..."
"...Until the giant ants came and slaughtered everyone."

get the transporter, obviously.

you are jammed into a cardbord box, somehow ridiculously strong. so, you can't break out of it. you have a steak knife, but it can't cut open the box.
it has a tiny hole, like 1/4 of an inch in diameter. and if that weren't enough, you're falling through the sky, above the middle of the atlantic ocean. you will hit it in 10 minutes (you're vey high up) and it will let in water through the hole, and drowning. that won't weaken the cardbord, though. BEAT THAT!

Make sure the box hits so the hoel is face down, it shouldn't let in water. Stick the tip of the knife through the whiole and use it as a very small paddle. Run into a tuna fishing boat. Get rescued.


A bomb is about to go off, no timer, no wires to cut. The bomb will explode an entire nursery school and pet store.
You dont know where the bomb is or when it will asplode. You have tinfoil, a half eaten snickers, and a toenail clipper.

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TIRES TIRES TIRES

Inside the pet store is a bomb sniffing dog and a turtle. I get the dog to run around by making him run after the Snickers, but he soon smells the bomb and points to where it is. I use the turtle's shell to uncover the bomb (if it is buried or hidden or something), then throw the bomb somewhere where it won't...blow up the place.

You are about to get pushed off a cliff by an invicible robot that will...push you off the cliff. You cannot walk past the robot, it is too tall to jump over, and it is blocking you from walking past it. You have a feather, a banana, and a whoopee cushion.

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I eat the banana and throw away the skin. What a whole lot of help that was. I then fall off the cliff, but catch my grip on a loose-hanging vine. The invisible robot doesn't see me, and thinks I'm dead. I make a noise with the whoopie cushion that attracts the robot, and he comes running back. He slips on the banana skin and falls down the cliff. I use the feather to jump back on to the top of the cliff, just like in Legend of Zelda!


There is a mushroom on the floor, a needle in your pocket and a headache in your stomach. You are about to get crushed by a cup of syrup. The cup is so big that you cannot run away, as you are paralyzed with fear. A small chicken without any feet is running towards you. What do you do?

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I take out the needle, then pick up the mushroom and stab it with the needle to expose its toxic juices (that are explosive to boot). I pour the juices on the chicken when it gets close enough, then throw it at the syrup cup (before the chicken explodes) to make it blow into a million pieces.


You're in a skyscraper. It's 250 stories high, and it's burning to the ground. All you have is a piece of wood, about 40 feet of string, and a dollar bill. What wouldst thou deaux?

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Way Too Much Of A Midna Fan

ForumRPG be's on hold.

Form the string in the shape of HELP and tie it to the board. Throw the board down to the grund and somebody sees it. They then get the fire department to get a ladder to get me down. Because even Macgyver needs help some times, I pay them with the dollar bill.

You are trapped inside a box in an assembly line. If you don't be quick it will squish you and kill you. The assembly line boxes have a pair of twizzlers, four stickynotes, a toothpick, and a set of matches.

Escape.

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set the box on fire, get out of it, and find a convenient fire extinguisher to douse the fire on you. Then run out of the assembly line.

You are trapped in a iron vault (which is closed and locked, and has three walls, a ceiling, a floor, and a wall-sized door, all made of iron), armed with motion activated machine guns in each corner. Nearby is the chair, the rope, and a mismailed letter from a random guy addressed to McGyver. If you open it, you would find a paperclip, a rubber band, a pencil, and a piece of paper saying:
"Dear McGyver, enclosed is a paperclip, a rubber band, and a pencil. Please save my dog."

You don't know who he is, or why he wants you to save his dog, but you can use the paperclip, pencil, and rubber band to get out of here...Somehow!

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"And everyone lived happily ever after..."
"...Until the giant ants came and slaughtered everyone."

Poke a hole in the box with the toothpick, then make it a little bigger with the tweezers. Crumple up the sticky notes and set them on fire with a match. Throw that fire marshel's nightmare onto something flammable to set off the fire alarm. When it goes off, the assembly line stops to withold to some obscure fire code. You may then use the tweezers to expand the hole at your leisure and escape.

You are paddling down a river rapid when you suddenly see a group of stampedeing horses come hurtling down the river. You drop your paddle in surprise and it sinks instantly. Now you do not have enough time to run or swim to shore. You have a portable fan, 10 feet of duct tape, a blank CD, and a drumstick. What dost thou deu?

EDIT: Grah, Simulpost!

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Duct-tape the fan to the canoe, causing it to sail against the current (i.e. away from the horses). Throw the CD at the horses to injure them to make a speedier getaway. Eat the drumstick so you don't get hungry.

You're in a spaceship that is hurtling towards Earth at 100 miles per hour. There are no spacesuits handy, and the outer doors are stuck. All you have is a hammer, a fishbowl, and a zipcord. What wouldst thou deau?

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Way Too Much Of A Midna Fan

ForumRPG be's on hold.

tie the zipcord into a safety net, and wait in it until the ship crashes and hope not to die. ((nothing else to do!))

You are trapped in a iron vault (which is closed and locked, and has three walls, a ceiling, a floor, and a wall-sized door, all made of iron), armed with motion activated machine guns in each corner. Nearby is the chair, the rope, and a mismailed letter from a random guy addressed to McGyver. If you open it, you would find a paperclip, a rubber band, a pencil, and a piece of paper reading:
"Dear McGyver, enclosed is a paperclip, a rubber band, and a pencil. Please save my dog."

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"And everyone lived happily ever after..."
"...Until the giant ants came and slaughtered everyone."

Tie the chair to the rope, then throw the chair at the machine guns to break them. After that, walk out the nonexistant fourth wall. ween

(Optionally, open the letter for a good laugh.)


You are in a stomach, but of whom you don't know, There are a few sugarcubes nearby, a decomposing hot dog, and a few Funyuns. What wouldst thou deau?

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Way Too Much Of A Midna Fan

ForumRPG be's on hold.

Eat everything. Die full.

You are in a chamber with a nail clippers, chewing gum, and a bottle rocket.

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(THE ABOVE USER HAS BEEN BANNED)

Chew the gum. Accidentally swallow it. Be left with nail clippers and a bottle rocket, and start choking. Use nail clippers to pry gum out of windpipe whilst giving self Heimlich manuever. Success! Now, to get out of the chamber, stick the gum to the wall just because you feel like it. Realize you just ate the nail clippers. Throw up all over the rock on the walls of the chamber. Wait patiently for stomach acids to dissolve the rock. While you wait, eat the rats in the chamber and drink the bottle rocket fuel (hey, it's my bottle rocket and I can fuel it however I want to). Go to sleep. Wake up to find walls weakened. Break off a weakened piece of rock with upchucked nail clippers. Throw rock at the rest of the weakened walls. Break free. Don't forget your gum.

You find your browser stuck at hampsterdance.com. The sound has been irrevocably turned to full blast. You can turn off your computer, but your monitor screen is frozen, and your speakers are still looping, "De-dah de-dah do do!" You are left with a tube sock, exactly 24.7 rubber bands, and fragments of your exploded head.

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