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Ok, here we go, finally. School's pretty hectic this time of year, hope you guys can forgive me.
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Homerun Starrer walked down the street silently. He had a lot on his mind today - what with apparently being the most popular character in the story so far, he had seen a lot of death these last two days. It was terrible - he saw the deformed face of Zombie JD every time he closed his eyes, a giant chunk of Kariia's flesh hanging out of the mouth. He blinked once. "ZOMBIE JD GO TO HOMERUN'S MIND!" screamed the image. Geez, Homerun thought. The guy's dead, and he's still almost as popular as me in these stories! That just didn't quite make sense.
He blinked again. "ZOMBIE JD GO TO-"
"SHUT UP!" Homerun screamed.
"ZOMBIE JD GO TO HOMERUN'S NERVES!" Nothing seemed to quiet that thing.
As Homerun continued down the street, he passed by the house of his good friend, EverybodyLovesStevenRight?. Steven was on the front porch swing, whistling a happy tune and paying no attention to the carnage going on in the world around him. He was totally oblivious - Homerun had to warn him about the zombies! He climbed up the front porch steps, and was just about to hammer out danger, hammer out warning, hammer out love between his brothers and sisters, when he realized he didn't actually have a hammer yet. "If I had a hammer..." he sighed.
"Oh, Homerun, sit down! Everybody loves sitting with Steven, right?" Steven had apparently just now noticed Homerun's presence.
"No time for that, Steven! I have to warn you... You don't have a hammer, do you?"
"Nope, sorry. Everybody loves hammering with Steven, right? Maybe Dr. Noid has one..." He turned to yell into his house. "Dr. No-"
"WHAT?!? Dr. Noid's here?"
"Yes. Why wouldn't he be? Everybody loves visiting Steven, right?"
Just then, The Noid walked out of the house, the right arm of Steven's oldest son in his hand and blood dripping down his mouth. "ZOMBIE NOID EAT CHILDREN!" he screamed. "NOW ZOMBIE NOID EAT YOU!"
Homerun turned to run, but The Noid was too fast, and he caught him by the shoulder. "Run, Steven!" he yelled, but to no avail. Steven was busy not noticing that Homerun was still there.
"That sounds good. Can I join you? Everybody loves eating with Steven, right?"
The zombie finished the arm and tore off one of Homerun's. The pain was immense. He got one final glimpse of the zombie pulling something red and bloody from a gaping hole in Steven's chest before he passed out.
"Everybody... loves...... eat...ing....... Steven........... right?" Steven managed, before falling to the ground.
Homerun had one final thought before memory ceased: "ZOMBIE JD GO TO SAME PLACE AS HOMERUN!"
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ButtdanceHR walked through the church building, wondering why in the world he was in church on a Monday. There was no service today, and he didn't have any other reason to be here - it just seemed like a better place to be than out in the streets under that blood-red sky. He found comfort in the fact that he couldn't see any of the carnage going on outside through the thick stained glass windows of the church. He walked up to a pew and took a seat, pulling out a Bible and opening it to Psalms. There were usually some comforting words to be found there, regardless of what was going on outside.
Just as he was beginning to relax, the sound of gunfire broke the silence of the building, followed by an enormous crash. He turned around to find a hole in the back of the sanctuary that had most certainly not been there before, and, coming through it, a big, purple... thing... that looked vaguely similar to one of Buttdance's old friends, buhubs.
He started to scream, but was interrupted by another burst of gunfire. The zombie stumbled a bit, but was otherwise unaffected as he walked toward ButtdanceHR, sniffing the air as would a dog as he searched for fresh meat. In from behind him ran a soldier - netzen - hoisting an enormous automatic and firing it wildly, trying to find some vulnerable spot on the zombie's body. As soon as he saw Buttdance, however, he stopped firing.
"Exibhit A! We have a civilian!" he screamed into his radio. It responded with something unintelligible, and netzen clicked it twice to acknowledge. "You, get behind me!" he screamed.
Buttdance made a motion to run behind netzen, but the zombie was faster than it looked, and he couldn't get around. When he saw this, netzen dove for the zombie, trying desperately to hold it in place, but his strength was simply not enough to subdue the zombie. buhubs simply drug him along as he stumbled toward Buttdance, eyes fiery with an insatiable hunger and bloodlust.
Buttdance ducked behind a pew, but it was no good - buhubs lifted the entire thing off the ground and tossed it aside like a toy. Buttdance looked wildly for something to hide behind, but couldn't find anything, so he just started running wildly. The zombie was still not deterred, and had almost caught up with Buttdance when a sudden crash sounded overhead, and another soldier, Exhibit A, dropped from the ceiling, landing on the zombie's head and finally holding him in place.
As Buttdance stared in amazement at the skill of the two soldiers, Exhibit A thrust a needle into buhubs neck.
"What's that?" Buttdance asked.
"If my calculations were correct, this serum should reverse the zombifying process - essentially, it'll return your friend buhubs to his former self." It's amazing what one night's work could do with the right equipment.
Just then, buhubs began to convulse wildly, throwing his body around randomly. Huge boils began to well up on his skin. The serum might actually be working!
Unfortunately, Buttdance never got the chance to find out about that, because Exhibit A's dramatic entrance had apparently broken some vital ceiling strut, and the entire ceiling suddenly crashed down on top of them. Just for the sake of keeping the pattern going, a grenade rolled out of the pile of debris, it's pin having been knocked out in the crash. Buttdance barely had time to get out of range before it exploded, leaving absolutely no trace of the three beings behind.
With all that had just happened, Buttdance hadn't really had the chance to grasp what was happening. Suddenly, it hit him. He fell to the ground, nearly drowning himself in his own tears.
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Summary:
Homerun and EverybodyLovesStevenRight? were eaten by The Noid.
netzen, Exhibit A, and buhubs were killed by a falling church ceiling.
JD is still comic relief.
Grenades are in.
Humans, there are only two of you left now, and no soldiers! You'd better be good at hiding - you've got 21 turns left to make it through!
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(Remember, zombies don't turn you into zombies anymore, they just eat you, or whatever.)
