Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

WE'RE BACK, SUCKAS! Read a plot summary here.

Yep folks, more then a month after I said it would be out, the KoL Role-Play is here! For those of you not familar with Role-Plays, they're basically RPGs, without the game. You just post in-character. (the Operation:Storyteller games are a good example of this)

The're aren't a whole lot of rules, but follow them or you WILL be kicked out of the RP:

1. When you're talking out of character, put "OOC:" before your post.

2. Homerun is always right.

3. Try not to control NPCs (non-player characters), that's my job. The same goes for other people's PCs, don't make them do anything drastic.

4. For those of you new to KoL, here's a list of classesand a list of races.

5. KoL is mostly medieval, so don't give your characters guns or anything like that.

Anyway, let's a-go!
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Violence elbowed his way through the crowd that had gathered at the Campgrounds. Something had caused quite a stir, the young Disco Bandit thought.

Poking his head through the throng of people, Violence saw what looked like a herald, although the crest on his hat was one he had never seen before. And besides, ever since the Council took power, there had never been a royal crest, right?

Right?

"That's right, fellow citizens of Seaside Town!" the herald boomed. "The successor of King Ralph has returned!"

...DUN DUN DUN.

[OOC: now would be a good time for someone to join]

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Uh, OK, I'll be Duecey, the sauceror. Umm...what do I do now?

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OOC: Post in character. Introduce your character, have him say something, and maybe talk to Violence.

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A rather large Mob Penguin wearing a purple pinstripe suit and a poker hat stepped out of the shadows.

He was a big penguin. Like he was a penguin-yeti hybrid. He had a cigar that could be seen in his face and held a martini in his hand. Three footed black shoes. Two orange gloves. One penguin that could totally kick the crap out of you.

As he stepped out of the shadows, he crushed the cigar and tossed the martini glass.

"The heir to the throne, eh?" he said. "Where is the little pipsqueak, huh? The mob penguins have sent me to...see him." he said, putting his hand in his suit.

Gasp!

"...until Don P. booted me out for sneaking some pricless rocks to Abe Zapruder".

(OOC:-That would be a good time for an Abe Zapruder to jump out of the crowd and yell "LIES")

"So I quit the mob thing, and now I'm setting up shop at "Mister Macaroni's Trustworthy Skin Cabin" up in the mountains."

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Importante Things:
- My character is an ex-brutish mob Penguin seal clubber named Domovoi Nigel von Macaroni. Call him Macaroni or Nigel though - call him Domovoi and he'll squeeze you.
- While is a great warrior, he's a sucky mage and quite possibly an even sucker sneak- but a good theif.
- He's a famous guy, descended from a long line of fancy elvenacny Penguins named the von Macaroni's.
- He likes sports, long, grueling walks on Arctic Beaches, and dinner by a cnadlelight burning down the table.

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[Rofl, Noid. I like it.]

The herald eyed Nigel suspiciously, but went on. "The new king, Ralphus Ternaldo Mengales XII, shall be holding a cornonation ceremony shortly." Clearing his throat, the herald unrolled a large scroll, with "Da Rulez" written on top in fancy script. "HOWEVER, His Majesty's first decree shall come as a suprise to you all..." he lowered his voice to a barely audible whisper. Everyone craned their necks to hear.

"All adventurers are ordered to leave the city's premises within 2 weeks, or we shall be forced to use lethal force."


You could hear the silence that followed. Nothing moved for a few moments, and the chatter of the crowd grew dead silent.

Then the herald got hit in the head with a brick. "LIKE 'EL WE'LL LET THAT HAPPEN!" someone in the crowd shouted, and soon the people had formed an angry, screaming, writhing mob.

Right in front of the city gates.

Where there were several hundred soliders standing.

"Oh. Crap." Violence said under his breath.

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"Zed...Oh...Em...Gee", said a Gnome, who seemed to have appeared out of nowhere next to Violence.

"ATTACK!" yelled the platoon of soldiers.

The Gnome ran off into a small tent.

Violence readied his weapon, but knew it would be no use against the army.

As they drew nearer, Violence prepared for the worst, when suddenly, from no where, a humongoid Gnom-Magi MechaMech appeared and stomped on them.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HOW'S A FOOT FULL OF OWGNAGE TASTE!" Yelled the Gnome from the Cockpit.

Then, the Gnome looked on the horizon, and saw the second wave of soldiers. And the third. And the fourth. And worst of all, he saw the most feared creature in the Kingdom...

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[OOC: Yeah, My character's called Hal Ancestral. He just happens to be the brother of Hagnk Ancestral (Non-Canon, shut up). He's a wizz with machines and gadgets and stuff. His MechaMech is called Argnold]

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<(* ) THRUSTER DUCK
( << )<~~~ WANTS
O O YOUR SOUL

[OOC: Nice. Could you try not to control me, though?]

Violence clambered up the side of the machine and banged on the cockpit. "Run away, you idiot!" he screamed at the gnome inside. "There's just too many of them!" Dropping off the side of the mech, Violence grabbed Nigel by the arm and started running. "C'mon!" he shouted. "Er, why do you want me? I never done nothi-" Nigel began, but Violence cut him off. "You look like a strong guy, and I need a meatshield." Gesturing at the gnome to follow, the three of them ran north, away from the city gates.

Back at the gates, most of the mob had fled, but some of the dumber adventurers were still putting up a fight. Violence thought he heard someone say "BASHY CLUB SOLIDER LIKE BASHY CLUB FETUS!", but he dissmissed it as his imagination.

[OOC: to get an idea of where we are, here's a Seaside Town map.]

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As Nigel ran in the hills, he talked about past experiences.

"This reminds me of the time I was sent down to Apathica to steal some of the king's loot. Along the way I braved a pirate crew, guards, and even an insane little lizard-" Nigel rambled.

"Okay, that doesn't sound exciting, but this does. It's about how I single handedly broke into Darwin Barro's huge nightclub and stole some of his counterfeit money - of course, he wasn't too happy, so me an' him went head to head in a fist fight. I smacked that lizard around real nice."

"Still not pleased, fellas? Well, would you like to hear about the time I was involved in a great Mysterious Island crime wave? This one guy was trying to sink an old Pirate reserve, and eventually, I chased him down in a motadingy and blasted him to kingdom-come!"

As he rambled on about the time he defeated a great crime lord, and crashed King Ralph's famous ball, and even survived in the desert for 16 days and faced Dogzilla, both Violence and Hal wanted to sock the beak off of this guy.

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15 minutes and countless boring stories later, the group finally reached the outskirts of town, near Little Canaida.

"Geez, I'm glad that's over wi-*CLAUGH!*" Violence collapsed to his knees, panting. "I guess video game characters do run out of breath after all. Anyway, maybe we can sneak back and talk to the Council...."

Violence stopped as he turned to look at Nigel for the first time.

"Oh my Jick, you're a MOB PENGUIN!"

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"AAAAGGGHHH! AAAGGGGHHHHH!! AAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!", screamed Hal.

"AAAAAGGGHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH! AAAAGGGGHHHHH!"

This went on for a minute or so. Then, Hal fainted.

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<(* ) THRUSTER DUCK
( << )<~~~ WANTS
O O YOUR SOUL

Violence prodded the unconcious gnome with his foot. "Ah well, he'll get over it." Turning to Nigel, he said, "Anyway, what's a mob penguin like you doing here? I thought you lot stayed all hidden and sinister."

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Bump.

Come on, people!

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This......




Sucks....


I need to play KoL to keep up with this now. T_T

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As I have said countless times before:

PLAY THE GAME, CH8T.

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Hal rose from the floor.

"Sorry. I had this weird dream that I'd been in Hong Kong for a week and was thus unable to play an RP about a web game..."

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<(* ) THRUSTER DUCK
( << )<~~~ WANTS
O O YOUR SOUL

"Hong Kong?" Violence said, puzzled. "Never heard of the place."

"Anyway, as I was saying, I know of a back enterance to Seaside Town that I used to use for...er...something completely legal. We oughta check that out."

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"But first, I have a question to an'swur."

"Y'see, when the current Don(who is not descended from Psycho whatever I or II,), named Pudgy Tony, heard wind of this new king, he sent me, one of his strongest roughers, up to beat up the littke pipsqueak."

"Truth be told, I don't have much for harming supposed kids like that, so I refused to do it. Then he forced me to do it, and I came down here, saying I would, and now I'm running out of town and-hey, that looks like my old friend, Skinny Lou!"

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OOC: Skinny Lou and some other mobsters are supposed to chase us now.
OOOC: It's also a running gag where everytime someone asks why he's here, he makes up a new story.

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"Great," Violence said. "How tough are these guys, Nigel? D'you think we could take 'em?" Meanwhile, the Mob Penguins were lumbering toward the adventurers, grunting with barely-concealed glee and slapping their kneecapping sticks against their hands. Er, flippers. Wings?

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"'course we can take 'em!"

Hal whistled. Almost as soon as he did, a Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot jumped from off one of the robots.

"SwooshYarrBrainsBeepboop, I CHOOSE YOU!"

The NPZR looked up at the Mob Penguins. Except, it wasn't so much an NPZR than it was an RRRR.

"What?" Hal said, "I got no experience in the feilds of Ninjas, Pirates or Zombies!"

The odd familiar did nothing but pelvic thrust bits of toast at the looming-ever-closer villains, firing the occasional dart at their necks.

"YOU IDIOT! YOU'RE MAKING THEM STRONGER!" screamed Hal, before crushing the thing with his foot.

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OOC: I have a running gag that all of Hal's familiars are made from clockwork, which, despite how cool that sounds, all really suck.

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<(* ) THRUSTER DUCK
( << )<~~~ WANTS
O O YOUR SOUL

[OOC: Heh, nice.]

"Hey mister gnome [OOC: Violence doesn't know his name, remember?], run and get that mech of yours," Violence said. "Me and Nigel will hold them off, right Nigel? Nigel?"

The mob penguin didn't have a change to answer, because Skinny Lou took the oppertunity to charge at him, kneecapping stick flailing!

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Skinny Lou then ran away a few feet, as Duecey jumped in. "Sorry I'm late." Duecey then grabbed on Violence's sholder. "I have no idea what I'm doing!"

"WTF, GET OFFA ME!!" Violence began to run in circles.

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[OOC: Hey, duece. ]

Violence was in trouble. Not only was there a mob of penguins advancing toward him, but he was unarmed and someone had just jumped on his back.

Panicking, Violence reached for the first thing he could use as a weapon-which happened to be Duecey. He chucked him at Skinny Lou, and both of them collided, their heads banging together with a humorous "klok!".

[OOC: now would be a good time for you to do something like cast a spell, duece. oh, and if you're confused as to what we're doing, head the previous posts.]

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There was a scream from off in the distance.

"Hang on, Jade! I'm comin'!"

Violence didn't know who "Jade" was, but it sounded like it was coming from the small Gnomish fellow.

*BOOM*

The building next to the gang exploded in a flash of pink. In came the Gnome, riding on a Mecha Mech. Although it wasn't the same one as before. It was a Micro Mecha Mech.

The Mini Mecha used thrusters to flay all around the oncoming hoard of Penguins, using wave after wave of pink torpedos.

Then, the Gnome spied someone he'd never seen before. He flew the Mecha Mech over to this newcomer.

"Nice to meet you! I'm Hal. Hal Ancesteral" he said, as he extended his hand.
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OOC: THE ARMY DESTROYED MY MECH!

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<(* ) THRUSTER DUCK
( << )<~~~ WANTS
O O YOUR SOUL

With all this going on, Domovoi/Nigel was just looking around and admiring the gnommish fellows keen sandals and not smacking Skinny Lou, Fat Tony, Flatulent Greg, Twitchy Drew, or Raffi-Loving Vinny(ring ring ring, bananaphone!) with his triple bladed mobster axe.

Instead of claiming his dead foes bodies in the name of Spain, he was getting smacked on the head by Skinny Lou.

And instead of picking blood off his fingers with bones, he was being sat on by Tony.

Instead of sitting by a fireplace and reading a nice novel, he was...uhh...you know what Greg does.

And eventually, he was knocked unconcious by this horrible chanting:

"Ring, ring, ring, ring! Bananaphoooooone!"

Then he woke up. However, he was speaking in a dead language.

"Oui!" he screamed as he reached into his Bat-Utility-Belt for his batarang.

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OOC: I...don't get it. Where are we now?

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<(* ) THRUSTER DUCK
( << )<~~~ WANTS
O O YOUR SOUL

Still in the same place, just a minute later.

OOC that was.

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"WAKE UP, YA EEDGIT!" screamed Hal, as he rolled into a Hardy boy ball and hit a couple of Penguins down, like some kind of Bowling Alleyman.

OOC: Okay, there's only so much fighting we can do. I reckon someone should try to progress storyline. That person will not be me.

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<(* ) THRUSTER DUCK
( << )<~~~ WANTS
O O YOUR SOUL

Because Hal was getting tired, he fell over on his back and started to roll down a hill, where Domovoi/Nigel was blabbering some dead language that I don't know how to speak so I won't transcribe ANYWAYS it woke him up from his dead language coma.

"Eh, wassa going on over here?" he said as he took out his axe and slaughnjerened his enemies a new one.

Just as he was about to attack Dr. Dueceylittle(as he calls him), a huge crash sent them flying for a shore where a bunch of the Obligatory Pirates stood.

One of them, wearing a dark maroon suit and a huge purple feather in his hat, stepped forward. he had a tooth made out of zinc, a leg made out of meat, and a really strange unibrow that had another one on top of it.

His name was Captain Quagmire, and he was one strange pirate.

"Yar, I suppose ye be adventurers?" he asked Nigel.

Nigel nodded.

"Then hop aboard me ship, and soon enough, we'll show that stupid heir what's for! But first, we have a bigger monkey to trap in a barrel...."

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[OOC: Uh, Noid, I control the plot. And this whole pirate thing sorta screws it up. Sorry. Could you please stop introducing random characters? I like your ideas and all, but still. ]

The Mob Penguins fled, leaving the adventurers alone. Nigel noticed there was a conspicuous lack of pirates, but thought nothing of it.

Violence helped Duecey to his feet, and conviently lifted a few Meat from his wallet while doing it.

[OOC:he IS a Disco Bandit, remember?]

"'Ey mistah, you gonna be okay?" Violence asked. "Them soldiers did a number on yah and no mistake. Jus' come with us, alright? We need as many people as we can get." Duecey just groaned. He had tried to fight the king's soldiers, and got run out of town.

"Now then," Violence said, "Let's see about that back enterence." Walking up to a weak section of the wall around Seaside Town, he kicked the boards, which swung open revealing a hidden passageway to the Wrong Side of The Tracks...

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OOC: 'K.

JD said to move the plot along, and the first thing I thought of is "pirates".(and controlling the plot by yourself is kind of hard because people will try to turn it into some direction that would not ever lead to anything you planned. That's why I don't plan RPs - I just let the mindless drones decide. )

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