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Suddenly, Nigel flipped over on his back, twitching all the while.

And then a small penguin puppet popped outside of the Toga Ogre, both of them stumbling in differnet directions.

"Oh, wow, that sucked. I was being taken over by a freakin' wrapping boy!" The puppet spoke, apperantly Nigel.

Then the ogre got up and started charging towards the group.

Fortunately, a roofie one of the Frat Boys were flinging around tripped him, and he stumbled. Then some hippie crap flung onto him, setting him on fire. As he ran into the water, he got hit by a cannonball, katana, AND a flare from a flare gun at the same time, killing it.

"That was lucky." One said.

"Hey, I think my clover just dissapeared!" Two said. "Three, give me yours!"

"No way, Two, I'm loaning all of mine to Four. He has to face the in-laws next week and needs all the luck he can get."

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[OOC: whee, five pages]

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The fight raged on for a century, many lives were claimed but eventully, the champion stood, the rest saw their better: Mister Rodgers is a bloodstained sweate - wait, wrong battle.

In reality, the "fight" (if you could call it that) lasted about 10 minutes, and the few survivors had fled to the other side of the island, putting aside their differences in fear of the FRIKKIN' HUGE BOAT.

"Whew, I'm glad that's over." said Violence. "What do we do now?"

"Wait, weren't we here to rescue the Council and free Seaside Town from the unrightful king?" recapped Nigel, who was still cleaning off ogre spit.

"Oh, that's right," said Violence. "Yo, Council, you're rescued."

"Er, that's nice, but we still have no way off this accursed island!" said One.

"Oh yeah. Who wants to go and talk to the nice guys who blew up the island for us?"

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Nigel bravely decided to go talk to them, and a few seconds after climbing up the plank, a burst of lightning hit him and he was knocked off - in his non-puppet form, surpirisingly.

"There's st least one mage on that ship." Then he noticed he was a puppet. "HEY, my body! I got my body back! Wa-hoo-ee!"

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A well-dressed man in his mid-20's leaned over the side of the railing (there's a railing, I guess) and called down to Nigel, "Do you mind terribly, lad? We're trying to make a dramatic enterence here. Oh well, I supposed it's all for nought. Hand me the flag, Kirk."

"Yes suh, Mistah Peace!" said a voice that sounded something like a mammoth with tonsilitis. "Let's get this over with," the man sighed. He exited the ship holding a flag emblazoned with a royal crest. Violence thought it looked familiar, but he couldn't quite place it...

The man stuck the flag into a patch of dirt that wasn't totally destroyed, and produced some offical-looking document. Clearing his throat, he read:

"On behalf of Her Majesty Queen Raplhina XIX, I blah blah blah blah blah hereby claim this island in the name of The Queendom of Loving. Now get out before I have to shoot you guys."

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[OOC: whew, I'm done for today]

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"WHAT? WHAT?" Nigel furiously called out. "There is NO WAY we are letting a vital piece of the Kingdom of Loathing go to you sissies over in the Queendom of Loving? Who needs love, anyways? Fernswarthy proved that it was a small force, and matches up to the knees of, say....stench or hot!"

And with this, Nigel threw a nearby coconut onto the ship, smacking Kirk on the head.

The yeti(Kirk IS the yeti, right?) immediately jumped off of the boat, and started charging with rage towards Nigel....

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[OOC: Ayup.]

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A dwarf wearing a labcoat poked his head out of the ship. "Oi! Do you blokes need some assitance?" he called. "I'd be happy to test my new pet on these rifraff-oof!" Before he could finish, Hal hit him upside the head with a wrench (spanner if you're British).

"Oh that's it, you freakish little party favor!" he snapped. "You're going down!" With that, he ran into the ship and reappeared a few moments later, riding on the back of a huge zmobie.

"Ahahahaha!" he said, laughing like a sterotypical villain. "Meet my newest creation, Edward!"

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[OOC: lol, edward/alphonse]

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Edward started raging and raging, and eventually, some of the Orcs, Hippies, Pirates, and NInjas who survived were all gathering around, looking at the freakish beast.

"Aye, what did you scallywags do to upset such a golem of these proportions?" One of the pirates asked.

"The gnome did it." Nigel answered.

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"OH GNO YOU DIDGN'T!" Hal screamed. "ALPHOGNSE! FROGNT AND CEGNTER!"

"Gno? Frognt? Cegnter? You, sir, have one bizzare speech problem..." Doc. P said.

"Quiet, jerk! Now are we gonna fignish this, OR ARE WE GOGNNA FINISH THIS!" Hal said, has he slipped inside Alphonse's helmet.

"PREPARE TO DWIE, YOU DWIRTY DWOG!" The Doctor shouted.

Unfortunately, Hal didn't have much time to laugh at the silly Dwarven accent, as he was being rushed into a spanner vs. clockwork sword duel on Zmobie/Robot-back.

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<(* ) THRUSTER DUCK
( << )<~~~ WANTS
O O YOUR SOUL

"Sooo...I'll just be going, then." said Violence, fleeing the epic battle. Before he could make it any farther then the shipwreck, though, an arrow whizzed by his head and stuck into a plank.

"Wah!" Violence turned around to see Peace standing there, holding...a violin? "Let me guess, you're supposed to be an evil Disco Bandit, right? How original..."

"Why, how dare you suggest such a thing!" said Peace haughily. "I'm a Violin Vandal, of course." With that, he notched another arrow in his violin and fired it like a bow....

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[OOC: yaaaay, epic fight. just to recap:

Peace Vs. Violence
Hal and Alphonse Vs. Doc P. and Edward
Nigel Vs. Kirk

Also, after this I'm gonna tone down the fights a bit, I know you guys are sick of just finding one enemy after another ]

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{Ooh, Violin Vandal? That would make Kirk a...., what, Sloth Strangler? }

Kirk charged towards Nigel, taking out his stranglin' gloves. Nigel, whom had only faced a Sloth Strangler once, was prepared with a weapon - the Seal Club XJ114237 - a high-tech club that Nigel had [s]stolen[/s] borrowed. But then he noticed that Kirk had some special kind of gloves, with claws sticking out of the fingers.

The two jumped at each other, and then....

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(Okay, here's a plot idea: what if there was an enemy that would show up once every page or two that could be hunting us down? I think that would be a good plot device, so..)

While the fighting was going on, The Councilman all just huddled behind a rock.

"This is worse than the time Ralph sent us on that vacation to Camp Logging Camp. Fourteen grueling and napkin-less days..." Four moaned.

"Be quiet, human. When you have fought outnumbered inside of a place with minimal lighting, then you may speak your silly words." A nearby Ninja Snowman barked at him.

"Hey, frosty - chill. We kicked your guys's butts at the Badlands, so you don't have the right to talk."

"Bras, that was a good fight." An also nearby Orc said.

"Yes, yes, we k-" One began to say, but he got shot by some...plasma...bullet...thing...coming from another spot on the beach.

"Does this mean I'm Number One now?" Two asked.

"I'm not dead yet, idiot!" One screeched.

Turns out that that Troll bouncer hadn't given up chasing the group who fed him to a shark, and it looks like he had some new, unknown gear - particularily some sort of laser gun.

He looked pretty angry and was charging. Then he made a fantastic leap, hovered in the air, and fell back down to confront Nigel.

But Nigel was too busy avoiding Kirk, who was almost ready to slash him.

Kirk ran and jumped blindly, waving his claws around. Nigel rolled out of the way, while Kirk and the troll collided, sending both leaping backwards.

The troll started glowing. "Agh...my continuum..." He said. And then, and then, and then, you'll never believe this voodoo crap that goes on.

The troll turns into a human omgasp!

Well, it LOOKED like a human. This guy was wearing a high-tech looking space helmet, some shiny chrome garb, a jetpack device, some small clockwork thing, and a cape.

WHO WAS THIS GUY?

"Hey, little soon-to-be-extinct-species! What do you think you are, slashing Indigo Jones, the best bounty-hunter from THE FUTURE?" He yelled.

"Who do you think you are getting in the middle of our epic battle?" Kirk asked.

"Well, let's see. Some old man hired me to go back in time to assassinated two seperate groups of adventures, the council, and the whole population of this soon-to-be destroyed chunk of Terra." He spoke in a better-than-you fashion.

"Well, I don't care who hired you to do what, but right now, we don't need anybody else screwing around!" Nigel roared as he ran up to Indigo and smacked him in the face with his club, sending him flying into the air, landing into the mouth of a nearby(and obviously lost) paradox shark.

"I'll be back, jerks, and I'll destroy all of you!" He called out as he was being carried away.

"Now, where were we?" Nigel asked Kirk, and the two quickly got back into battle.

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I just thought it would be an interesting plot point if we had someone else chasing us down that never seems to die. If you want him to die, then he just died. But if not, he ended up killing the shark and floating back to the normal Kingdom.

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[OOC: Actually, I like the idea of a villain who dies a horrible death each time only to come back somehow. He'll stay.]

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Meanwhile, Violence and Peace were having a South-of-The-Borderican standoff. Both had their crossbows pointed at each other, and neither wanted to be the first to fire.

However, this impasse was quickly settled when a bolt of Cosmic Energy (tm) streaked by the pair, nearly vaporizing Peace's head. Violence seized the opportunity and fired, but Peace was quick on his feet and dove forward, grabbing for Violence's ankes. The two of them struggled in the dust for a while, but Violence gained the upper hand and pulled out a knife.

"Ha, looks like you shoulda cut back on the butter scones, ya hoity-toity b-" Violence's taunting was interrupted as Peace brought his violin down on his head....

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[OOC: Also, Peace is a Violin Vandal, Kirk is a Sloth Strangler, and Doc. P is a....Corpse Horker.]

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Doc P. stared at Hal's face. Suddenly, his eyes got all read, and Edward the Zmobie started singing.

"WHAAA, whaaaaa, WHAAAAAA, whaaa, WHAAAAAAA, whaaaaaaa, WHAAAAAAAA, whaaaaa, DUN DAH DUN DA DUN DAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Doc P. and Hal circled each other, occasionally swinging their weapons, but it seemed that the both of them swung at exactly the same time, thus blocking the oncoming attack.

Meanwhile, slightly below the Dwarf vs. Gnome fight, the Zmobie vs. Robot fight wasn't going much better.

Suddenly, Hal and Alphonse remembered the Cruel Tutelage of Gnirf. They reared their hands back, and pulled out their oppenents eye/Pineal Gland.

"AAAAUUUGHGHGHGHHGHGHGHGHG MY EYE THAT'S MY YOU JERK WHY WOULD YOU DWO THAT AAAUUUGGGHHHHHHHHH IT BURNS!" The Doc screamed, as he fell off his Zmobie, who didn't seem all that worried that the center of his brain was missing.

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OOC: So, now Doc. P only has one eye.

Also, will this RP continue even after the plot has been resolved, or will the adventures eventually come to an end?

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( << )<~~~ WANTS
O O YOUR SOUL

[OOC: Well, the plot is far from over. We still have to get back to the Kingdom, and free Seaside Town somehow, remember? Plus I have more stuff planned, muahaha...]

"Gwah, that wasn't cool!" said Doc P. "Looks like I'll have to take more dwastic measures..." He fished around in his labcoat and produced a whistle, which he blew, producing an odd high-piched sound.

"Ha ha, you said dwastic-woah!" Hal ducked as a huge zmobie bird flew down out of the ship and picked up the Doc in its talons. The two of them flew into the sunset, or at least where the sunset would be if it wasn't the middle of the night.

"Come back here, you stupid...average-sized person!" shouted Hal, but it was too late. Turning to Al, he said "Wait here, big brother. I'm not letting this guy get away..." Hal pressed a button on a remote and summoned his MicroMechaMech, and they chased Doc P. into the skies...

Meanwhile, Ed the zmobie struggled to his feet, and continued to fight. Apperently losing the most vital part of his brain didn't bother him that much...

[OOC: Expect a new map thingy next post, btw]

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While the other two groups were fighting, Nigel and Kirk were just prancing around in a circule, "shooting blanks" to see if they could get to the opponent. Eventually, Kirk had enough and slashed Nigel right across the chest, propelling him backwards into the air.

When Nigel landed, he noticed his orange suit had been slashed, and maybe even some penguin blood was spilling out slowly. He then saw a small, blue belt was laying nearby, and he picked it up.

When he picked it up, he noticed several buttons. He pressed one labaled "GO", and suddenly, a large, roaring goat-like monster was screaming it's head off.

"Aw, you're such a cute Goat, yes you are!" He spoke. "I never had a familiar before...maybe this thingy can summon me up some!"

Without questioning this, Nigel jumped onto the back of the goat and started charging towards Kirk, knocking Kirk backwardss. As Nigel gloated, though, Kirk pulled out a fancy chocolate, ate it, and grew 4 times his size(that stuff does that to you. Try it out.). He then charged up towards Nigel, and punched his goat-beast squarely in the eyes, making the thing somehow disintergrate back into the belt.

Nigel, knocked on his back, pressed one called "LE", and a sort of hulking, leprechaun figure appeared. Apperantly the belt had something wrong with it, because all of his familiars were monstrosities...

(Yay, new item: the monstrosity maker! If a team member has it with 'em, they can summon any familiar and use the monstrosity version of it!.)

(Also, when and if Ed dies,l can I steal his pineal glands? it's for an important plot point. Y'see, I plan to-ah, it's a secret. It's not drastic, but...you'll see...)

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[OOC: MAP TIME WOO


Explanitions: Lo Thing is an area I made up, it's supposed to be vaugely Oriental. It's where the ancient arts of Noodlecraft and Saucery were discovered.

The Peculiar Island of Peculiarities is the Queendom counterpart to the island we're currently on. It's populated by three groups; Ninjas, Skaters, and Druggies. Sound familiar?

Regular stuff will resume in my next post.]

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(Woah, that's sweet. I want to go to the Frigid Northlands to encounter some avalanche action or something. Lo Thing sounds cool.)

The hulking leprechaun looked up into the sky and spit out a green ectoplasmic substance. It landed on Nigel, who then...grew ten leaf clovers all over him.

"I have to be the luckiest guy in the kingdom right now." Nigel proclaimed.

Feeling confident, Nigel armed himself and ran towards the Sloth Strangler, who was eventually knocked onto the floor by all the luck Nigel had in his sytem.

Then it dissapeared and Nigel got another slash across the chest.

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So there's the Sloth Strangler, Corpse Horker, and Violin Vandal. The other three should be Squid Stompers(mostly aquatic people), Soul Stealers(possibly steal others will, possessing them?), and Note Ninja.

Actually, those suck, nevermind that part.

(Are the "Lords of LOathing" going to be incorporated somehow? That's Boris, Jarlsberg, and Sneaky Pete, if you can't tell...)[/b]

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[OOC: Arghy, I had a good post and IE ate it. Btw, aren't Boris/Jarlsberg/Sneaky Pete dead?]

Violence stumbled to his feet. "Argh, I feel like I just had a shot of Prehistoric Gin..." he mumbled. Looking up, he saw Peace investigating the Council's makeshift desk.

"Why, what's this?" he asked, kicking down the desk to reveal the 4 cowering Council members (well, 3 cowering and 1 slowly bleeding to death). "It's the very people we were sent to kill!"

"Wait, whaaaat?" asked Violence, still a little groggy.

"It was never our intention to come to this wretched island in the first place," said Peace, entering Generic Villain Monologue Mode. "We were simply restocking our supplies. See, word travels fast, lad. We, the top assassins in the Queendom, had been sent to finish off the Council and complete the plan..."

"Wha' plan?" Violence mumbled.

"Well if I told you that I wouldn't be much of a villain now, would I?"

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Nigel overheard Peace.

"Wait, you guys are assassins?" he asked Kirk.

"Yeah, I'm not onlys in it for yous, big punk." Kirk called out with a grin. "Remember that zombie wave? That was me."

Something Kirk had said made Nigel explode with anger and hatred.

Nigel ran up to Kirk, punched him up into the sky, leaped into the air, knocked him back down, so the now kinda bloody mess of a yeti landed on Peace.

(Zombie wave = important backstory plot point.)

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[Woo, mysterious past]

As Nigel delivered the final blow, an unseen announcer shouted "3 HIT COMBO!"

Peace hauled himself up, cleaning Yeti bits off his suit. "Ye gods, what was that?" he muttered. And then Nigel, who had lost control of himself, smacked into Peace with a cartoony WHAM!

"Ha, you just can't catch a break can you?" taunted Violence.

[Kirk=ded.]

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{My arch-rival died? Freakin' sweet!}

Nigel was still angry. Those mere two words Kirk had spoken to him made him go all renegade crazy like and stuff. He killed the small yeti, and now he was after his cohorts. Smacking Peace upside the head, Violence and Hal(if he wasn't in the sky, anyways) could both see that his eyes had turned pure red. As red as Kirk is right about now, I'd say.

(This is very, very, violent for Nigel. He's a nice guy, but the zombie plague words turned him into a psycho. Whatever Kirk did, Nigel's pretty miffed. Maybe this plagye connects to that Leo guy? *hint*)

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LDP!

Nigel took out his battle axe and started to take a swing at Peace, but Peace took out a violin stick thing and blocked it. The two were axe stick-thing fighting for what seemed like minutes - that's probably because it was.

Anyways, Nigel came back to his senses in the heat of this battle. "Hey, what's going on?" He asked, noticing the dead yeti lying on the sandy beach like area. "Oh my Boris, I killed the little guy!"

"And I won't let you kill me, bugger!" Peace said, smacking him with the stick.

Nigel toppled over with his amrs flailing. His axe flrew right out of his hand, into the sky.

And onto Edward.

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[OOC: waitin' for JD....]

The ax sythed through the air, and in accordance with the law of Movie Coincidences, hit Edward square in the face. Pineal glands and zmobie bits spilled out of him in a totally not kid-friendly way.

Meanwhile, Peace looked on in horror. "You horrible little mammal! You'll pay for this, you'll see..."

"Wait, I thought you guys were the villains-oof!" Nigel was interrupted as Peace tripped him and grabbed of the ex-zmobie's pineal glands. What was he planning to do?....

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While Nigel was down, Peace stuck a pineal gland RIGHT IN HIS MOUTH. AND IT TASTED HORRIBLE MIGHT I ADD.

But you know what happens when you devour a pineal gland, riiiiight?
You turn into a zombie, and thus, are very easy to kill.

Peace, grinning insanely, picked up the axe and took a swing at Nigel.

Nigel was dead.

Violence looked in horror because his comrade was dead.

But our story isn't over yet!

Nigel then became an Astral Spirit, floating up to Vallhalla. He was free, free!

And then one of the spirits up there tossed a hammer at him, brining him back down to the rock. As he fell, he could hear someone say "Oh, Boris, now you've done it!"

Anyways, Nigel's spirit fell back to the Island, and when he was about to hit the place...he went through it. He went straight to the Underworld.

He was in Hey Deze.

As Nigel hovered around, a bolt of plasma shot at him.

"Looks like we can have a fair fight now!" Indigo Jones's voice called out. Looked when Indigo DID die, and he's been waiting here.

"What good would it be completely eradicatin' my soul?"

"Because I made a deal with the big red guy sitting on his throne here. He said whomever wins this fight gets to go back to the Earth. And when I win, I'll destroy all of your friends, too!"

Nigel just sighed. "oh yay. Another battle."

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[OOC: Wait, when your alternate universe self dies, aren't YOU meant to disappear too? Ah well...]

As Hal was about to deliver the final blow to the Doc., an ax went zooming past his head and right into the face of Edward. After a mass of explody zmobie, it was found that the ax had embedded itself in the Doc.'s leg.

"GAH! THIS SUCKS!" The Doc. cried.

"Tell you what sucks evegn more? THE FACT THAT YOU'RE GETTIGNG BLASTED WITH ALL OF THE MAGICAL/MECHAGNICAL FIREPOWER I CAGN MUSTER!" Hal screamed.

The Mech fired an array of pink and yellow lazorz and torpedoes right at the Doc., who, after the dust had settled, was no more. All that was left behind was a ring, which sat at Hal's feet.

"Ooh! Ring! Awesome!" Hal said, quickly putting it on.

But little did Hal realize that within that ring, Doc. P had poured all of his mallace.

"Muahahahahahahaha! Now the Gnome's body is mine! I shall take over this operation from the inside out!"

[OOC: Uh oh...]

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( << )<~~~ WANTS
O O YOUR SOUL

[OOC: Yeah, but Nigel's premature death kinda put an end to that. Besides, you don't actually die when your alternate is killed...all will be revealed in good time. muahaha.]

Violence didn't have time to watch the awesome fights around him, as Peace was back on his feet and firing his violin at Violence. Violence ran from hiding place to hiding place, but it was no use. Peace seemed to always know where he was!

"Alright, I'm gonna have to do this the old-fashioned way." Violence said.

"Cut out his kidneys and put him in a tub of ice?" one of the Council quipped.

"Erm, no...."

"Kick him in the crotch and run away?" volunteered Two.

"Not that either-"

"Surely you're not talking about tying weights to his arms and legs and leaving him at the Docks at high tide?" asked Three in horror.

"No, I was talking about THIS!" Violence said, throwing his cloak into the air. (yes, he has a cloak). As he expected, an arrow pierced it. That gave Violence time to run forward and stab Peace before he could reload...

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[Dramatic conclusion coming when I have more time.]

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Back down in the Underworld, Indigo's spirit was using a gun and shooting at Nigel. But Nigel stretched his ectoplasmic arm forward enough to knock the gun out of Indigo's hands and into lava.

"First you destroy my jetpack with the club, now you slap my gun into lava? You're SO getting it now!" Indigo barked as he took out a sword.

Indigo hovered over, waving his gigantic sword like-thing, and all Nigel had to do was move out of the way, because Indigo didn't look where he was going - and thus fell into the lava.

"You may go, Domovoi Nigel Macaroni. Next time you end up in the pits here, though, you won't be as lucky." A booming voice called out as Nigel floated upwards.

When Nigel was gone, the booming voice's body appeared - a blue, muscley figure - The King of Hey Deze.

"As for you, Indigo. You have dissapointed me. However, I will give you another chance to reap those souls. You have 500 hours, though. If you die again or do not reap the souls, I will reap yours."

And with that, Indigo also hovered upwards....

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Out of nowhere, a penguin wearing a dark, blue suit(Nigel was previously wearing orange and purple) plopped onto the Island.

"Boo-yah! Thank Boris for Ascension!" He said, as Peace turned and saw that, with horror, he would probably get killed by his victim today...

-- Meanwhile, in Seaside Town --

Indigo Jones also plopped out of nowhere, wearing red and green battle armour.

"Augh...where am I?" He asked himself, only to find that a large guard was bringing a spear up at his neck.

"You are in Seaside Town, adventurer. Likely a force of the rebellion, so we'll have to kill you." The soldier barked.

Indigo just smiled and spoke. "Likewise". He then proceeded to take out a much larger, deadlier looking blaster......

(OH CRAP INDIGO'S GONNA LIKE BURN DOWN SEASIDE TOWN OR SUMTHIN)

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Violence plunged the knife into Peace's spleen. (SPLEEEEN) "There," he said. "It shouldn't be immeditaly fatal, though. Before you die, would you mind telling us who the crap you guys are working for? We might save your life if you do..."

"I swear, Violence, sometimes you can be such an evil b-" said a voice from the shadows.

"HOLYCRAPNIGEL!" Violence shouted, running toward his friend. "I thought you, y'know, died horribly."

"Long story," was all Nigel said. "In the meantime, why is Peace dying on the floor there?"

"Oh, I stabbed him," said Violence as if this was an everyday occurance. "Anything you'd like to tell us, Peace?"

"Yep," Peace smiled an evil little smile. "See you in Hey Deze..."

"Wait, what?" Violence turned around just in time to see HAL LEAPING TOWARDS HIM LOLOLOLO

[cliffhangers ftw!]

[we'll get back to Indigo soon...]

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"Uh...Hal, what is your problem?" Nigel casually yelled out.

"Yar, that boy looks a little crazy in the brain. Maybe he's got scarvey." A nearby pirate told Nigel.

"Or maybe he's-" Number One began to spoke, but then he kinda...died...there...'cause of bleeding and all...

"WOO-HOO! I'm number one!" Two said.

'"Are you gonna eat that body? 'Cause I have a plan..." Nigel asked, and soon enough, he was carrying One's husk around, swining it like a whip in the direction of the commotion.

(he was bound to die sometime! And yes, Nigel is using a dead body as a weapon. It's some kinda slick/sick weapon you get from..places...)

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Nigel battle on against the possesed Hal, but it was no use. The ring gave him unusal strength, and all Nigel had as a weapon was a corpse. Not a fair fight, really.

Luckily, it was at that moment Nigel, Hal, and Violence spontaniously vanished out of existance.

Violence felt a swirling pounding sensation in his head, like someone had filled it with booze and hit it with a hammer. When he came to, he was drifting in a formless void. Floating beside him were Hal and Nigel, who were equally confused....

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[OOC: whee, sidequest. ]

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