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"Uhh...okay, I just saw Vallhalla and Hey Deze, and this isn't any of them. I better not be in Hey Deze, though - that old man'll beat the snot outta me..." Nigel mumbled...

(is this like some kinda limbo where lost...souls or something, like Chef, go?)

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[OOC: Yeah, pretty much.]

A door opened up out of nowhere and an Astral Spirit stepped out. It looked quite buff, for a spirit, and sported a military-style crew cut.

"Er, who are you supposed to be?" asked Violence, still in a haze.

"Jah, I am your spirit guide," said the strange ghost in a thick Frigid Northlands accent. "Call me Rahnold Nortzenswaggah."

"Are we supposed to go on a wacky quest of self-discovery or something?" asked Nigel. "'Cause I already did one today."

"Nah mon, I am here to-" Ronold (Rahnold?) suddenly stopped and pricked up his ears, as if sensing something.

"Oh no, they ah alreadeah coming!" he said with dread. "GET IN DE CHOPPAH!"

"Wait, what's a 'choppah'?" Violence asked, and Ronold pointed above them, where an ectoplasmic helicopter was, indeed, hovering.

"Oh. That choppah." Violence sighed.

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Nigel obeyed this guy and got up into the choppa.

"Wait, what's coming for us? I don't want to have to, y'know, retreat to Hey Deze or something, because this thing will be probably shot down..."

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"A vengefahl spirit," replied Ronold, steering the choppah out of the void. "He wants nothing moahr than to see you deahd. Quite simply, eef you are killed here you will cease to exeest." "But no presshar or anything," he added.

"Do we kgnow this guy?" asked Hal.

"Probably," replied Ron. "Look behind you."

Running (or possibly flying or floating, it was hard to tell here) was Chef Boyyouareannoying, readying a sauce spell.

"Aw, it's just another adventurer," said Nigel. "What's he gonna do to us?"

"He ees a mage of eemense powahr," replied Ron. "Here, your physical strength doesn't mattahr..."

It was at that moment a HUGE FLAMING MEATBALL struck the side of the chopper...

[Yeah, this is weird. I was getting kind of sick of island, island, island. ]

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"Holy Germintude!" Nigel screamed as the copter propelled downwards into a spiral, onto an ectoplasmic field of nothingness.

"You jerks somehow brought me to this place, and for an eternity I have been here. I'll destroy all of you!" Chef yelled.

"Hey, Ron, you look like a good fighter. Stay here and help me take care of the nasty guy on the ravioli can. Violet, Hallie-Boy, you guys move on , we'll catch up." Nigel said, in some kind of ectoplasmic battle-stance...

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"Wait, we're in the Astral Plaign?" Hal said, as he grabbed the crazaah monster belt, although on this plain, it looked more like some kind of estoplasmic line of pure light, pulsating in your hands.

He clicked the button that read AS. Suddenly, a monstrous Astral Badger materialized in front of them. Strangely, the badger wasn't just a pile of ectoplasm like everything else. I mean, it looked like an actual badger, except all hunchbacked, had a six rows of teeth and had claws that were 6 feet long.

The badger threw one mushroom each to the party.

"Quick, eat these!" Hal said, as he shoved the mushroom into the hole in his ectoplasmic spherical body.

Suddenly Hal looked like Hal again.

"They transport your body to this plaign, which egnables you to do phisical damage. HURRY UP AND EAT THEM!"

"Hal, how do you know about any of this stuff?" Violence said.

"Let's just say I hung out in the Hippy camp a fair bit when I was a youngun..." Hal said.

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<(* ) THRUSTER DUCK
( << )<~~~ WANTS
O O YOUR SOUL

[OOC: Heh, I like it.]

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The Chef stalked towards the party, a magic ladle in one hand and a book of spells in the other. He wore an empty soup can on his head and robes that billowed dramaticlly behind him, as all good mage robes should.

"Badger! Save us!" Nigel cried. The huge Astral Badger reached up into a higher plane and pulled out some snakes, which he threw at Chef. Unfortunately, they hit Chef's Saucesphere and disintegrated on contact. "Woah, that's not good..." Nigel said.

"I've had it with these motherbleeping snakes on this motherbleeping astral plane," growled Chef, readying another spell.

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Meanwhile, Hal and Violence had somehow stumbled into a city. Huge smokestacks belched plumes of smoke above them, and little clockwork Gnomes wandered the streets.

"Heeey! Sprit guide! Where are we?" asked Hal.

Ron's voice appeared in their heads. "You are in ze manifestion of Hal's mind," he replied. "You mahst escape to ze portahl, we don't have mahch time-!" Suddenly, Violence and Hal heard sounds of struggle, and ran off into the streets.

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Nigel heard that Chef said he hated the snakes, so Nigel made a miraculous spirit leap and punched the top of..infinity, where a barrage of snakes fell out. They engulfed Nigel, turning him into some kind of gigantic snake beast.

"Trying to snake me out, you jerk? Well I know how to turn the tables!"

Chef then engulfed himself in some kinda energy, and became a tall, bald African Man with a purple lightsabre thing.

and then lyk a plane came out of nowhere and they got on it

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"Woah, my mignd? That's awesome!" Hal said.

Then, Hal's face jolted. And again. And again.

"Ow. Ow. Ow. OW! SPIRIT GUIDE, MY BRAIN IS ELECTRIFYING! WHAT THE CRAP IS THIS?"

"You are pheezical beings inside of a plane of pure imagination. Dat's not good for da persons mind, mon."

"GAH, HOLY FRIGGING CRAP! WE'VE GOT TO GET OUT QUICKLY!!!!!" Hal screamed.

"Hey, what's going on over behind that clockwork cottage?" sad Violence. The party walked over and saw...

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OOC: So, Hal's mind will keep deteriorating as long as we're in here. Just so you know.

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<(* ) THRUSTER DUCK
( << )<~~~ WANTS
O O YOUR SOUL

...A tear in the Astral Plane. Appearently the instability of Hal's mind was cause random gashes to open up all over the place. Before Violence and Hal could react, the yawning portal sucked them up...

They appeared in another city, but this one was dark and dank and full of back alleys. It looked rather like the Wrong Side of the Tracks, come to think of it...

"Oh great," Violence said. "This is my mind, isn't it?"

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Meanwhile, Nigel and the Chef continued their epic movie-parody fight...

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(Is this like Psychonauts or something? Because if it is, mine should be some sort of zombie plagued city. Because, y'know, Nigel obviously has a problem with zombies, due to the fact that they killed someone dear to him...)

Back on the place, Nigel was shooting down snakes towards Chef, who was hitting them with his sabre thing.

"You do know that I'll just keep on throwing these snakes, right?"

"You do know that I'll just block them, right?"

And the cycle just continued, until Chef got angry and transfered back to his original form.

He sent a fireball towards Nigel, which caught him off guard, and then he charged towards Nigel with a sabre

AND CUT HIS HAND OFF LIKE LUKE

As Nigel writhed on the floor in pain, Chef charged another fireball and knocked him out of the plane, sending him flying into a rift...

....and right into Violence's mind, apperantly, because he went crashing at their feet.

Nigel got to his feet, and without letting anyone scream at his hand, he just looked in shock to see that the plane was diving straight down towards Nigel...

(I somehow plan for Nigel to get some kind of clockwork hand. Maybe Hal can repair it when this settles down...)

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[OOC: Funny, because I planned to have Nigel's hand chopped off anyway. Weird conincidence, eh? XD]

Fortunately, the plane was high up enough that it combusted in the air. By the time it reached the party, it was nothing but a rain of little burning chunks of metal.

"Fancy meetin' you here, Nigel," Violence said, totally unconcerned by the whole thing. "What happened to that guy who was trying to kill us?"

"Which one?" asked Nigel. "There've been so many I've lost track..."

"Oh, ha ha." Violence said. "I mean the weird chef guy."

"Oh, him? I think he burnt up along with the plane," replied Nigel.


"....then why is he standing behind us, looking really PO'd?"

OSNAP.

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"Alright, now you've managed to make me angrier, if that's even possible." Chef announced, comjuring up a GIGANTIC MEATBALL....

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The gigantic meatball was flung towards them and bumped them all up. Spaghetti was everywhere.

"Hey, I love this stuff!" Nigel announced. "oh, right, I'm supposed to kick the crap out of you."

Nigel took out two wires, a glass bulb, and a beaver. After prearing them all and eating them, Nigel got 25 adventures of the "liek u can use elektricytokyo". Nigel shot a burst of electricity towards Chef, wounding him.

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"So, the way I see it, only one of us needs to reach this portal to save us all," said Violence. "And I know just who that should b-"

"No Violence, don't do it, it's too dangerous!" shouted Hal.

"What? No way man, I was gonna make Nigel do it," replied Violence. "But now that you suggested it, I guess I will. Try to hold them off!" And with that, he dashed off into the streets of his mind.

Meanwhile, Ron joined the fray against the Chef....

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Ron, fighting against this obvious madman, screamed some words at the top of his lungs and immediately had two clones of him pop out of him.

"Slavin! Gleutsgeist!" He barked their names, apperantly making them attack fangoriously.

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The epic fight between the Chef and the party was interrupted as a flood of murky water swept through the alley they fighting in, carrying them away.

"Violence, get your mind out of the gutter!" Hal scolded.

[ba-dum ksh!]

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Nigel noticed that the rimshot guy who made the ba-dum-tish noise was also being washed away, so in the enourmous tide, he swam over, picked him up, and threw him right at Chef, knocking him all the way back to the dry land.

"See you loater, sucker!" Nigel said, with his hand...still cut off...

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Hal looked to the roof of one of the dank apartment buildings within Vi's mind. There he saw a figure clad in a yellow pineapple shirt, wearing shades and a red hat.

"Hey, look! It's ugncle Crimbo!" Hal shouted.

All fighting ceased, as the man stepped forward to deliver his speech.

"That's right, kids! I'm here to wish all of you a very merry Crimboween!" Uncle Crimbo said, as he tossed the adventurers a gift each.

"Woah! I got a Magi-Mech-Tech Gnomech Mech-Mecha!" Hal said, as he set the sherical toy on his lack of a shoulder, where it began shooting specially clockwork'd missiles and centrifically calibrated lasers in green and gold, creating a mini crimbo rave.

"Woah! I got a Crimbo Crossbow!" Violence said, as he equiped the Tree-shaped weapon and fired star shaped shuriken. FOR MASSIVE DAMAGE!

"Woah! I got a spooky Halloween staff!" said Nigel, as he held the snake shaped handle and fired beams of ghosts, goblins 'n' Dakota Fanning.

"See you next time, kids!" Uncle Crimbo shouted, as he tore open a hole in the Astral Plane, pulled out his Time Sleigh, adjusted the flux-capacitor and flew out into the night sky.

"MERRY CRIMBO TO ALL, AND TO ALL A HAPPY HALLOWEEN!"

"Quick! Hurry to the Astral Gash before it closes!" Hal shouted.

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OOC: Merry Crimbo, juys!

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<(* ) THRUSTER DUCK
( << )<~~~ WANTS
O O YOUR SOUL

Chef groaned and hauled himself to his feet. "What, no present?" he mumbled. "Ah well, I still have a chance to stop them. ALFREDUS INVOKUS NOODLUS APPENDAGEUS!" he chanted, channeling all of his remaining life force into a spell. A horde of Flying Spaghetti Monsters appeared in front of the Astral Gash....

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"FSM? The only way to combat a fictional god is with another fictional god!" Hal said.

He reached into his backpack and pulled the tab on a Dyspepsi cola. Although, odly, this cola was labeled, C.O.L.A...

The cola spoke "I SUMMON YOU, EVIL LORD, TO DO MY BIDDING!"

A million Cthchllhylthllklthchuuu's flew from the sky and started beating the monsters.

"Quick, we can escape while they're not watching!" Hal said as he jumped through the void.

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<(* ) THRUSTER DUCK
( << )<~~~ WANTS
O O YOUR SOUL

Violence dove into the portal, action-movie-hero style, and pulled the rest of the party along with him.

"Be cahrful," Ron's voice echoed in their minds. "Zhere may be some side effects to ze wahrp...."

As they whirled through a thousand different dimensions, they fell through Nigel's mind, which was, oddly enough, filled with zmobies....

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Meanwhile, Alphonse was pacing back and forth aimlessly. The master had gone! Vanished! He had no idea what to do....

It was at that moment a gash opened the middle of the sky, spat out Hal, Nigel, and Violence, and then closed again.

"Ooooh, my most of me...." groaned Hal.

"Brother! You're back!" said Al.

"Am I?" Hal said, still a little groggy. "I couldn't tell..."

"Say, don't you look a little different, Hal?" asked Violence. Indeed, Hal had aquired a tool belt and a pair of goggles. As for Violence, he had inexplicably grown an afro and some shades. Nigel had gained a fancy yeti-skin coat, seemingly out of nowhere.

"Maybe this was the 'side effect' Ron was telling us about," suggested Nigel.

"As side effects go, this ain't too bad!" said Violence.

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Meanwhile meanwhile, in the dark recesses of Violence's mind, the Chef was slowly dying.

If I can't destroy these fool's bodies, perhaps I can take over their minds... he thought, in typical villain fashion.

[OOC: whee, long post]

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Bump.

Noid...JD...other person...where are you guys? *tumbleweed*

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"Woah-ho-HOOO!" Nigel was looking at his new fur coat, admiring how it was not made from cubic zirconium and in fact, yeti.

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JD's gone, but he said I had to say that Hal got frozen. Uhh...

HAL GOT FROZEN.

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NOT A SIGNATURE!

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Nigel screamed like Darth Vader. "Hallie Boy is now a frozen chunk of Hallie Boy!"

Suddenly, a rock hit Nigel.

"Who threw that?" He yelled, throwing Hal to the side.

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Violence whistled innocently. "No idea. Anyway, we should probably find a way off this [s]god[/s]jickforsaken island, eh?"

[OOC: Aww, it's just me and Noidy now...]

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Nigel looked around and noticed that Peace's ship was stil docked here. He also noticed that Peace and the Dr. were not here, as they probably got hauled off my the primitive orc witch doctors.

"Well, I say we take the t'ree counciliars, steal off the 'oat, and get ourselves back to Seasidein' Town, yess'n."

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SO THEN THEY BUMPED EACH ONTO THE SHIP AND GOT ONTO THE SEA!

Meanwhile, in Seaside Town...

A merchant from Distant Lands had traveled far and wide, from Lo Thing to The Frigid Northlands, and finally to the Kingdom. He came in search of a cure or something for his peple, but found much more than be bargained for...

Indigo Jones was wreaking havoc in Seaside Town, and this guy could pass off as the game he needed for his grand master plan that probably involves a ransom...

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[Yeah, so. We really need more people, or else it'll just be me and Noidy yelling at each other. ]

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