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The gang walked to dock 4 for what seemed like hours. But then they realized that they were all walking on treadmills (HER IT GOEZ AGEN!).

"This is your boat?" Hal said, as he looked at what was not a very good boat.

"What's wrong with my boat?" The old, noodly man said.

"Where'd you get these plans? Susie the Arena mistress's twin sister?" Hagnk said.

"Erm...Just...get...in...the...boat...".

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"You want us to get in the boat, fine, let's go." Nigel whispered as he picked everyone up and threw them into the boat.

"Why are you in such a hurry, sonny?" Starchy asked.

"Noreasonwhatsoevercanwepleaseleavenowyoucrumbbum?"

In truth, Nigel had done something he shouldn't have in that bar. He got in a very quick poker game, and wagered Hal. And Nigel lost, because he's only good at rummy.

And it just so happened the guy he lost Hal to was Eustace Statler deWaldorf.

The Hermit.

A harpoon hit the ship as they took off.(However, the ship still proceeded to move on.)

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The Hermit should definately be a villain who wnats to eat Hal's legs in this.

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Violence whirled around. Sitting in another boat (made out of worthless trinkets, of course) was the Hermit, who was readying another harpoon, a look of pure evil on his face. Or maybe he was drunk, I dunno.

"Nigel," Violence sighed. "What did you do this time?"

"Why, I'm offended!" said the mob penguin, doing his best to act stuffy and displeased. "Why do you always blame me for these things?"

"Well, it just so happens that every time we've been attacked, it's been your fault..." Violence said. "Anyway, can't you make this tub go any faster, Starchy?"

"I'm tryin', I'm tryin'!" said the pastamancer, wrestling with the controls of the boat.

[OOC: Duece PM'd me and said he's not playing anymore, soooo...]

Just then, a paradox shark leapt out of the ocean, ate Duecey, and disappeared back underwater.

"Well," Violence said. "That was random."

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Suddenly, another boat was pulling up to Starchy's. However, this ship didn't look menacing. It had red and white stripes painted all over it. And there was this creepy Uncle Crimbo statue in the crowsnest.

As the Hermit fired another harpoon, the other ship closed in - and Starchy's ship began to sunk.

Fortunately, the ship was so close everyone could just jump onto it. As thry walked around the ship, they noticed a small elf pirate...person.

"Ahoy, grinches! My name is Captain Candykaine, but you can call me Kaine! I hear of a great group of adventurers, snd I wish to join them!"

{OOC: Woo, new person. ]
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Violence started to back away. "Hey man, I don't know who these adventurer guys are or what they did," he said. "But they certainly didn't kill a bunch of people and wreck a bar, that's for sure."

Kaine looked confused. "I never said anything about that, me good sir. I merely wish to join y-"

"Wait," Violence said. "So you don't want to kill us? Well, uh, in that case, welcome to our group, Captain! You can ignore all that stuff I said about killing people, it was a joke...yeah. Totally. I was bluffing the whole time." Looking visably relieved, Violence went on.

"We were heading to the Mysterious Island. Think you can take us there?"

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"A CRIMBO ELF?", yelled Hal. "A CRIMBO ELF? A CRIMBO ELF? A CRIMBO ELF? A CRIMBO ELF? A CRIMBO ELF? A CRIMBO ELF? A CRIMBO ELF? A CRIMBO ELF? A CRIMBO ELF?A CRIMBO ELF? A CRIMBO ELF? A CRIMBO ELF? A CRIMBO ELF? A CRIMBO ELF? AAUUUGGGHHHHHH! A CRIMBO ELF? A CRIMBO ELF? A CRIMBO ELF? A CRIMBO ELF? A CRIMBO ELF?A CRIMBO ELF? A CRIMBO ELF? A CRIMBO ELF? A CRIMBO ELF? A CRIMBO ELF?A CRIMBO ELF? A CRIMBO ELF? A CRIMBO ELF? A CRIMBO ELF? A CRIMBO ELF? AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!" This went on for a long time.

Although, you know what they say about Gnomes and Elves.

And if you don't, they say bad things...

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AND THEY ALL GOT ON THE BOAT AND THE ADVENTURE CONTINUED!!!

Current Location: The Open Sea!

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"Hmm," Violence said. "I guess hearing about our trip isn't very interesting to the players-OH NO A CUTAWAY SCENE!"

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Meanwhile, on the Mysterious Island, the Council Of Loathing was making stew. Rather unremarkable, I know, but let's see what's happening outside...

Somewhere, in the center of the island, there lied the shipwreck of the Council's ship. (How it got there was a strange turn of events I won't explain here, for brevity's sake.)

This shipwreck was, among other things, filled with priceless jewels, the world's largest keg of beer, and several sacks full of....medicinal herbs. Yeah.

Naturally, this made it desireable to all the parties on the island (the Pirates, Hippies, and Frat Boys.), so they all tried to claim it. Well, one thing led to another, and they started a war. And the Council was literally stuck in the middle of it...

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Back on the ship, the adventurer's ship was approaching the island. "Land ho, me mates!" said Captain Kaine. "And other pirate-y things like that!"

"Er, speaking of pirates," Hal said, pointing to another ship coming right towards them, bearing the dreading stickman and crossbones. "What's that?"

Violence rolled his eyes. "Oh, I'm sure they just want to sit down and have a friendly discussing over a cup of tea-WAH!" he was interrupted as a cannonball almost smashed into the side of the ship.

[OOC: whee, long post]

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"Braaaaaaaa, BA DA DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DA DA DAH!" Hal sang. It almost sounded like some kind of song from a hit movie staring pirates and barnacles and the like.

The head pirate jumped on board the Candy ship.

Man, this pirate was spooky.

And a pirate.

And, as he walked into the moonlight, he was also a SKELETON!!!!!!

"OMG WHY ARE YOU A ZOMBIE THING!?" yelled Hal

"Yarr, me and my crew stole some trey-shar a while back. Little did we know that the trey-shar was laden with an ANCIENT AZTEC CURSE, so we go around stealin' things from people and killing them because they get all scared and stuff."

"Oh. That makes sense."

"ATTACK, ME HEARTEYS!" yelled the Pirate King.

And attack they did...

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"Guys, down here!" Violence said, leading them into the ship's hold. "I have a brilliant plan, as always."

"This isn't gonna turn out like your last 'brilliant plan', is it? 'Cause last time I almost got eaten by a shark..." Nigel grumbled.

"OF COURSE NOT!" Violence said. "Now, we just need to wait a while..."

Abovedeck, the adventueres heard the clatter of dozens of skeleton feet boarding the ship. "Crap, now they're onboard! Violence, what were you thinkin-" Nigel began to say, but Violence interrupted him.

"That should be all of them. Now, follow me..." Violence swung open a porthole and crawled out, landing on a lifeboat below with a splash. Motioning for the rest of the party to follow, he silently steered the lifeboat towards the pirate's ship, which was now abandoned...

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"Hey, I remember this..." Hal said

"The ol' Darkegned Diamond. I built it a while ago out of stuff I fougnd in the basement of the Mini Store, back whegn it was "Hal & Hagnks Antique and Clockwork Mini Store. But I had ambitiogns! So I quit that job and moved back to the ol' Gnomad camp, trying to make it as a freelance clockworker! Then, that Gnorman showed up, and the competition ruined my life. Then, I met some guy, a pegnguin and an EVIL Crimbo elf. But that's a story for agnother time."

Sure enough, the deck of the ship was built out of Asbestos Staff, the mast was made out of Dyspepsi grenades and the mast was sewn together Black Lotus.

"Well..." said Hal, as he climbed aboard the Darkegned Diamond and took ahold of the "Happy Birthday Claude!" steering wheel, "I guess we're off to the mysterious Island!"

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OOC: Eh, I kinda wanted to give Hal a little backstory.

Also, I kinda like the idea of Hal stealing crap from the Mini Store.

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"Hey, I like this place ya got here, Herbie!" Nigel said. "This is a tight ship..unlike the one I blew up last week that was carrying toasters for the starving Gnoll children. Hey, why are you staring at me?"

As they were BOUT to answer, the boat started rocking. And then is started spinning. And the Hermit, somewhere at the docks, was getting drunk off of a stalk of corn he found in a bucket instead of chasing down the adventurers. And soon enough, a groyp of sea monkeys hopped onboard and started attacking.

"AH! APATHICA SEA MONKEYS!" Nigel screamed as he started throwing around nearby barrels.

And if these angry sea monkeys weren't enough, a gigantic OCTOSQUIDTHING rose from the deep, ready to destroy that ship.

"Hey, gnome, get out some bombs. We're having kal-a-mari tonight if we get out alive."

(EPIC SEA-BAAAAATLE!)

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"What are you talking about, Nigel?" said Violence, who was facing away from the approaching horrors. "There's no such thing as-GAH!" A huge tentacle wrapped around Violence's neck, cutting him off. He fumbled for his crossbow and fired a few bolts at the creature, but it just shrugged them off.

"*gak* C'mon, don't you guys have any *gak* harpoons or cursed pearls or...jacked sparrows...*gak*or something like that?" said Violence, who was not well versed in seafaring lore.

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"Yatt-TAH!" Hal yelled, as he kicked the SQUIDOCTOPUSMANLADY sqyare in the kidney, which freed Violence from his grip.

"Octupus, eh?" Hal said.

"Well, the only thing that can get rid of a giant Calamari is...A KATAMARI!"

Hal went offscreen (Yes, there is a screen) for a second, and returned with a purple ball double his size and dressed in a green jumpsuit.



"Doo doo doo doo, doot doot doo doo dah, doo doo doo doot, DOO doo DOO DOO!" Hal sang, as he rolled the ball towards the Octoman.

Unfortunately, the ball, which was twice his size, didn't measure up to the Squidpuslady, which was roughly 20 times his size.

It didn't go so well for Hal...

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OOC:

Hal in his Katamari outfit:

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[OOC: WIN. XD But, wasn't your guy's name Hal?]

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The OCTOSQUIDMANGUY lazily reached out one tentacle and grabbed Hal and his katamari, eating them whole.

Hal slid down the squid's giant esophagus like a tunnel, screaming like a little girl. After a few mintues, he came to a abrupt stop and banged his head into something with a soft squish.

To his amazment, Hal wasn't dead. He was in the squid's spacious stomach, surrounded by carcasses of all sorts of sea creatures. The floor was slowly filling up with acid.

"Yay, I'm not dead! Only being digested alive!" said Hal, and then stopped to consider this.

"OH CRAP, I'M BEING DIGESTED ALIVE! Quick, Hal, what would Ted Stevens do?"

Just then, Hal noticed an odd tube leading out of the stomach. A series of tubes, in fact. If he followed those tubes, he might be able to escape the squid in time...

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"HALLIE-BOY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO1" Nigel screamed as he saw Hal being devoured.

Quickly, he decided to find a faster way to destroy the monkeys and the squid. Noticing a piece of paper lying nearby, he read it aloud and hoped it was a spell.

"Pinnochio, Punch, Gabbo, Charlie, Lambchop Thy!" he screamed and suddenly he turned into a puppet.

"Oh, wait, that says THEY? Oops."

If you were reduced to a weak puppet, being surrounded by a bunch of wood chopping monkeys, what would you do?

You would use your MAD PUPPET MAGIC SKEELZ to summon up some spirits like the summoner puppet you are!

"Thy of most impalement forth!"

A big and burly spirit rhinocerous appeared.

"Thy of most non-puppetry magical, forth!"

A magical djinni popped out of nowhere.

"Thy of most moxious, forth!"

And then a paradox shark swarm swam nearby.

THE STATS:

Good
- A Disco Bandit
- A Puppet
- A Currently Squidthingescaping Gnome
- An Elf
- An Old Man
- A Rhino
- A Djinni
and a buncha sharks

Not So Good
- 856 Sea Monkeys
- 1 Gigantic Squid
- and a buncha sharks(what? They aren't on anyone's side!)

(Nigel's currently a puppet now. He has no strength, but puppet's are pretty skilled in magic.)

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[OOC: um, an old man? who? EDIT: Oh wait, you mean Starchy. I assumed we abandoned him on his boat.]

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Just then, Violence heard an ook behind him and ducked just in time to avoid a horde of sea monkies lunging at him. Pulling out his crossbow, Violence proceed to kill them in some nondescripit way. (Sorry, I'm tired and I can't think of some hilarious death)

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[OOC: Is Captain Homestar still playing? Also, changed my sig to reflect current situation.]

"Yaharr!" Hal cried!

"That taught 'um! Now, let's continue to the Mysterious Isla-Wait...We're already here!"

And sure enough, they were.

They docked in at the Obligatory Pirates Cove.

"Now, if we're going to fit in, we're going to need disguises. Violence, you can be a pirate, Kaine, you can be a hippy. I'll be a Gnomish Frat boy, and Nigel can be our traveling puppet companion.

Pretty soon, they were all in costume.

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[OOC: Not sure, he seems to have died. I'll PM him.]

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Before the adventurers could even set foot on dry land, a band of pirates popped out from some hidden hidey-hole, aiming their crossbows at Nigel, Hal, and Kaine.

"Arr, me pirate bretheren," asked one of the pirates. "What be ye doin' with these filthy landlubbers?"

"Who, me?" Violence asked. "I mean-YARR, I be takin' them captive, so I am. Yarr."

"Wait, we aren't capti-" Hal started to say, but Violence stomped on his foot. "Ssh, just play along!" he whispered.

"Yarr, I be takin' these there hostages to the prison!" Violence said, and the four of them bolted away.

"Wait, we don't have a priso-" one of the pirates started to say, but the adventures were already out of sight.

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"So, where we headed to now, Violence?" said Hal.

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[OOC: Nothing really funny...I was just wondering]

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Violence stopped in his tracks. "Y'know," he said. "I really have no idea. We don't know where the Council is, and everyone on this bloody island wants to kill us... where d'you guys say we go?""

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[OOC: Map! Just so everyone knows where we are now.]

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"Councilors!?" Hal shouted, as the group entered the Hippy Camp.


"Yarr," Violence said, "Yer going to be needing to speak in charrractarrr, if ye want to survive 'round here..."

"Hey, Bra. Where do you think we're going to find those dudes with the table, bra?" [/slout]

"Brothers! Why don't we check over by that sweet drum circle!" said Kain.

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[OOC: I say we kill off Kain. I mean, the guy's posted once...

Maybe Alphonse can take the Hippy disguise, with Nigel riding inside of him.]

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[OOC: 'kay. He hasn't replied to me, anyway]

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"Yarr, Kaine, I think it be best if ye talk to them." said Violence, who threw the Crimbo Elf to the hippies and fled.

They circled around Kaine and inspected him, like some kinda hippie...sharks. "Well, he's got the hair, brothas." said one of them. "Yeah, but I don't think he's a real hippie, maaaan," said another one. "He doesn't have the smell." He picked up Kaine by his collar and sniffed him. Sure enough, he smelled like candy and fake Crimbo trees, but he didn't have the trademark Hippie Stench (tm).

"This is, like, an imposter, man!" said the hippie, throwing Kaine to the ground. "Totally not righteous! MARIJUANA FIREBALL!"

With that, the hippie muttered some ancient incantation (don't ask me how hippies know magic) and shot a burning ball of weed at Kaine, who was simultaniously burned to death and drugged out.

Meanwhile, Violence and the group fled north...

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"Where are we now, Big Brother?" Alphonse asked Hal.

"Oceania, brother! Airstrip One, to be precise. We've always been at war with Eastasia. ALWAYS!" Hal screamed.

The party looked at him, confused.

"Um...I mean we're near a wrecked ship." he said.

"How did the ship get wrecked in the middle of the island?" Alphonse said.

"DOUBLETHINK, MY FRIEND! DOUBLETHINK!!WE'VE ALWAYS BEEN AT WAR WITH EURASIA!"

"..."

"I mean...a wizard did it..."

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Hal's insanity was driving Nigel to insanity. THis was the all-time worst day of his life. First, he had to get in a barfight and didn't get to do any good combo moves. Then an old man tried to shoot him down, sea monkeys, squidguys, and now becoming freakin Pinocchio! He had had it!

Nigel started to scream as he went beserk. He took out his Puppet Magical Wand of Stuff, snapped it in half, and bit down a nearby tree.

After cleaning out the splinters, he quickly ran off, screaming, eventually getting dogpiled by a bunch of Frat Boy scouts, who loaded him into a barrel and ran off.

Everyone else in the party just gave each other weird looks.

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"Ugh...Should we go after him, then?" Hal asked.

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"Hmmm...I dunno." said Violence.

"But think of all the good things he's done for us!" pleaded Hal.

"Lesse...got us attacked by Mob Penguins, started a barfight, and accidently turned himself into a puppet," Violence recounted. "Yep, he's been reeeeeal helpful."

"Well, it's either that or be mobbed by all those pirates over there," said Hal, gesturing to the south where, indeed, a horde of pirates was charging toward the frat boys, with sabers in hand and a cry of "Yarr" in their throats. Or was that "Yar"? Violence couldn't tell. Either way, they couldn't stay here.

"Let's go," sighed Violence.

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And go they did. All the way to the Orcish Frat house. Which wasn't so much a house as it was an Orcish Castle...Frat...House. Anyway, by the time they arrived, it was night time.

"Hey...Aren't you the dudes who hung around with that puppet dude?" an Orcish Frat boy, who was waiting by the door, said.

"Yeah!" Hal said, "And we want him back!"

"No way that's happening, bra." the Orc said.

At that moment, three Orcish Frat knights and an Orcish paddler jumped out of the castle windows and got into battle position.

"What? This is easy! The battles in this RP...I mean world are really, really basic!" said Hal.

"Is that so, bra? COME, ANIMA!" the Frat Boy yelled, as he waved his hand.

Suddenly, an enormous Toga Ogre burst trough the roof of the Frat House, and landed right next to the party.

"Oh. That makes things...significantly more difficult..."

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[OOC: Toga Ogre=win.]
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Violence surveyed their enemies.
The Fratknights were clad in beer-can armor, and were wielding heavy Orcish Longpaddles. Tough customers, no doubt, but they weren't the main problem.

Anima, the Toga Ogre, towered over the party with two huge paddlin' clubs held in each fist. There's no way we can fight this guy alone... thought Violence. We'll have to find some sort of distraction...

Just then, Violence noticed a huge keg of b33r* balanced precariously on the top of the Frat Castle...
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[OOC: *Yes, b33r. Imported from the Valley of Rof' lam' ao'.]

Also, updated map!

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Meanwhile, inside the can ob b33r, Nigel was squrming around, trying to find a comfortable position....

(OH SNAPUH)

(...that means Nigel's about to be fed to the Toga Ogre.)

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