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 Post subject: A Very Abrupt End.
PostPosted: Mon Oct 08, 2007 4:05 pm 
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Location: Inside of a shirt,underwear,pants,shoes and under a hat
*I look down at my dashboard*



70 M.P.H.





"Gotta go a little faster if I want to beat traffic."





*Vroom*







80 M.P.H.




*shakes head*




"Not fast enough"










*VROOM*











90 M.P.H.







*Looks at watch.*




"Only 9 minutes to get there."




*VROOOM*







*Turns on radio*

"....he escaped from the local jail and has been murdering people within city limits. Police are warning people to be on the lookout for him."

"Thank you diane, we'll hear more on that story after a word from our sponsors."



"[darnit]. I alway miss the important details. I dont even know what the guy looks like. For all I know, he might be at the parking garage, waiting to kill me or something. This is why I'm not fond of serial killers."


6 minutes to go.



*VROOOOOOOM*

110 M.P.H.




"Finally, the commercials are over. Now who is this psycho?"



"Bill Storey has escaped from ferros maximum security prison. People are advised to be on the lookout...."

3 minutes.

*VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM*

120 M.P.H.

"...he is mentally unstable and is known best for stowing away in people's backseats and killing them while they are driving..."


I heard a sound in the back seat. At this, a huge chill went through my spine.

"****"

I turn aroun to look at my back seat. There's nothing there. I look back at the road.









OH FU-

And I hit a Building.

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Last edited by bwave on Tue Oct 09, 2007 4:23 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Oct 08, 2007 5:06 pm 
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Alright. I like your style, seems a little bit disconnected, like we don't really know what's going on, but hey, James Bond movies always start that way, so this'll be alright.
Keep it up.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 4:18 am 
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Location: Puttin the voodoo in the stew, I'm tellin you
^ Doesn't get it.

Great story Bwave.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 4:22 am 
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netzen wrote:
Keep it up.

You dont get this opportunity when you hit a building at 120.

Thanks ace.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 10:33 am 
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Hmm......title.


Familiar?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 10:45 am 
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^OH NO U DONT THINK SO DO U???

Good job, I lol'd.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 10:49 am 
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I was thinkin' about doing something like this.

:senor: / :hr:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 3:14 pm 
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bwave wrote:
netzen wrote:
Keep it up.

You dont get this opportunity when you hit a building at 120.

So it was just a one shot thing?

Well in that case, it was awsome.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 7:54 pm 
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I liked the end, but it was kind of abrupt.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 8:37 pm 
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I guess if no one else posts, A Very Abrupt will be facing


*snicker*

...A Very Abrupt End!

Great story, but I think it may have too much spacing, too much quotes, not enough detail.

It was a fine concept, just wanted to hear from the narrator a bit more.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 12:12 am 
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^You don't get it, do you.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 12:14 am 
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buhubs wrote:
I guess if no one else posts, A Very Abrupt will be facing


*snicker*

...A Very Abrupt End!

Great story, but I think it may have too much spacing, too much quotes, not enough detail.

It was a fine concept, just wanted to hear from the narrator a bit more.
Just stop trying. Seriously, you're making yourself look worse.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 1:04 am 
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Yeah, seriously. What's up with you lately?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 1:28 am 
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Beardo wrote:
Yeah, seriously. What's up with you lately?


Please, please, PLEASE!

I've already been through this crap enough on RT, please to be not provoking me again, otherwise I will explode!

It's a bad enough day as it is, just...please, restrain yourself.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 3:07 am 
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I lol'd so freaking hard. You win.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 12:06 am 
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buhubs wrote:
Beardo wrote:
Yeah, seriously. What's up with you lately?


Please, please, PLEASE!

I've already been through this crap enough on RT, please to be not provoking me again, otherwise I will explode!

It's a bad enough day as it is, just...please, restrain yourself.


Lol.

It's Buhubs!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 12:16 am 
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Oh, dude, that was awesome.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 12:21 am 
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This was posted on 8 October.

It is now 1 November.

Just because a lot of people are delaying their responses doesn't mean this isn't great.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 1:27 am 
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Casimir III the Great wrote:
buhubs wrote:
Beardo wrote:
Yeah, seriously. What's up with you lately?


Please, please, PLEASE!

I've already been through this crap enough on RT, please to be not provoking me again, otherwise I will explode!

It's a bad enough day as it is, just...please, restrain yourself.


Lol.

It's Buhubs!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 1:32 am 
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I LOL'd hard.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 4:15 pm 
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buhubs wrote:
Great story, but I think it may have too much spacing, too much quotes, not enough detail.

It was a fine concept, just wanted to hear from the narrator a bit more.


I agree with Buhubs. It is a good skeleton, but it could use some muscles and skin on it. Let us get to know the Narrator a little more before he hits that building.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 4:38 pm 
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The abrupt ending = epic.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 5:12 pm 
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Beyond the Grave wrote:
The abrupt ending = epic.

Bah, you'll win that whole RR thing anyways.

That's what I predict, still depends on The cup of Coffee coming back.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 12:12 am 
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DeathbyChiasmus wrote:
I agree with Buhubs. It is a good skeleton, but it could use some muscles and skin on it. Let us get to know the Narrator a little more before he hits that building.


If you are going to come into this thread, and say something like this, don't.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 12:26 am 
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If you're going to come into this forum, and talk to other people like that, don't. Image


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