Please try to soften the blows of criticism.
If you don't like it don't simply say 'FAIL' and run off into the night, I want an honest, somewhat moderate opinion if anyone has one.
So, ahem, my short, random piece of writing, that had to contain certain words...like made up ones...like flamboozlenate.
Pork In The Sky
When all seemed quiet at Farmer Red’s farming grounds it was an experience to flamboozlenate over when this fateful moment occurred, as he did not expect it, see it coming or even had a hint it was going to occur, he was caught off guard. When Red fed the pigs, there was a lonesome pig that he had named pork chop, mainly because he saw him that way, fattening him up with the slop, and as pork chop ate, Red licked his lips, he got his knife out, he got the salt put, called his wife Muriel to bring in the pigs. The pigs grunted and squealed in woe, for they knew the day of reckoning was upon them, a terrible thing would happen to them, some of them were actually so sick of life that they did not care if they made them into a sausage, but pork chop cared, he cared with all his pig heart that he and his friends would escape from Red and go off to do great things.
“You’ll soon be bacon,” said Red “will you just look at that Muriel? Doesn’t his taste just want to make your mouth water, with a tasty salt to it?”
“Calm down Red!” said Muriel “You’re drooling all over the pig! Now hand that one to me, and let’s kill him, skin him, and fry him up.”
Muriel had been pointing to little pork chop, and the pig gulped, he backed away from Red trying to grab him, from Red chasing him all over the barn with a rusty and jagged pitchfork that made all pigs squeal with fear.
“Get in the godforsaken frying pan, you lousy son of a pig!”
“Red-”
“MURIEL! Will you let me do my job in trying to catch the pig? Now freeze pig, or are you simply chicken?” said Red, making many ‘bawk-bawk-bawk’ sounds right after, intimidating poor pork chop.
As his wife tried to restrain her husband from doing anything else, so she could lure the pig into the house, and kill him and cook him successfully, a comet was randomly appearing in the sky, as it flamed it got closer to Red and Muriel’s house. Red spotted the comet before it traveled any faster, he tried to warn his wife, but she thought he was just being a trickster, trying to fool her into being scared. But the comet was real as the nose...well, at least the chin hair on Red's face, and as it sped up, it tore through the farm air which was filled with the smell of many barnyard animals as well as the sound of them eating their slop, grass, or what have they. The comet, so brightly colored, quickly crashed into the barn and farm house that Red and Muriel lived in, giving a huge bright explosion that ran the horses into the ground, as well as the pigs, sheep, mice and every other animal that you could think of within reason, the comet, containing so much heat, had burned Red Muriel and all the barnyard animals they owned ultimately to a crisp, except for the pig Red was hunting...Pork Chop.
The pig stumbled about, at the ruins of the farm and the house nearby that once stood, the colorful smoke escaping from the crushed ground, coming from the colorful comet that lay within there, fused to the roots of nearby trees. Pork Chop coughed as any pig would do, or at least towards the equivalent of a cough to a pig, his two hooves trembling within the dirt, he clumsily walked away from the wreckage, Chop saw the decaying bones of once lively and happy animals, it was more than he could handle, he had to escape, so he flew. He flew? Even Pork Chop was amazed at what he had just done, he felt a force within him, he felt a great power that pig did, he assumed the comet that didn't crush him, gave him super powers, Chop even started considering that the old statement 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' to be in actuality a great truth.
The pig soared into the bright blue and smoky sky, he hovered about and pondered about how he should use his newfound flying powers, and almost all at once, the answer came to him, the vision of the city that may have been miles away from the farm. It had to be filled with crime and suffering of some sort, some sort of crime and suffering that one single pig who was given super powers, the ones like in Red's comic books that he chewed up, could fix with a single soar. Chop quickly flew exactly around the earth, almost at the speed of light, but of course, not every super hero pig can have exactly what he wants, he flew across the oceans, the trees, the zenith of a mountain, quickly gathered himself, and headed straight for the big city. The pig of course considered every aspect of trouble if he were to become a super hero, he didn't have to cover his true identity since no villain could harm his loved ones because, well, he really had no loved ones. Any animal he had made friends with was already dead.
So as Pork made his way toward the city, he arrived at his first cry for help, it had seemed that the mayor was under gun point in a bank robbery, the robber had already barked at all the tellers to kneel on the floor and surrender all articles of money that they had in any of their vaults, and soon enough, Chop burst into the bank building. He quickly squealed at the robbers to freeze, but those men in ski masks would not bow down to a simple pig, Pork went to action, flying to every corner of the bank, making every dodge of their bullets almost at a cat-like reflex, and even to his own amazement discovered new powers. He was able to turn his teeth razor sharp with a stunning accuracy of cutting as he cut through the ropes that tied up the hostages and the mayor, Chop used his x-ray vision to see through the bank robbers (without going too far) and see where they were concealing the money in their jackets, and used his super pig strength to beat the wind out of the robbers.
As was predicted, Pork Chop was given his own holiday, the town seeing as they had nothing really else to celebrate about, he was given a medal, a huge sum of cash which his sudden manager promised would go to good use, and a congratulatory ham, which was immediately replaced with a congratulatory chunk of tofu, seeing as how Pork Chop wouldn’t eat one of his own. Confetti was thrown and the pig had his own float, that rode through the city in a rather random parade, the parade went through to the long hours of the night, when the alcohol had been drunk and the cake had all been eaten at numerous parties, the people of the town went to all their homes with hard headaches and some with tattoos that even they themselves did not know where they came from exactly. Pork Chop leaped into his manager’s car, hoping that as well as settling his income, he would house the pig too, but the manager threw him out on his little curly tail, and he drove away with the money.
The pig traveled to every door of every building, to the zenith of every complex of tenants, the pig tried to get someone to house him but they all acted as if someone had flamboozlenated them. Soon, every light near every window had turned off and Chop realized that he had nowhere to stay and no one would take him in this town, he was too tired to spend the long flight to another town in another state. He thought of one place more, the farm he once lived in at the edge of the town’s forest, he used his powers to fly all the way to the small farm secluded from the rush and mush of the town roaring with life that Pork Chop had just saved from a bank robbery. Trying with his hardest mentality, he ignored the decay of the farm animals, of Red and Muriel, flew into the kitchen which surprisingly was still standing in almost the center of the wreckage, and tried to sleep.
Pork Chop tossed and turned on the browned floor, which still was heated somewhat from the comet, and visions from the past flashed vividly in Pork Chop’s head, of Red and Muriel, how they always treated the animals so badly, especially him.
“You little runt!” said Red, in Pork Chop’s dream “One of these days I’m going to cut you so bad that your guts fall out of your stomach and your skin falls straight to the floor, I can’t wait to get your bacon.”
“Eventually, Red and I are going to get so sick of you,” said Muriel, in Chop’s dream, almost coming to him like a zombie “that we’re going to chop you up on the spot and fry you to death, and then finally the world will be rid of you, you miserable piece of pork.”
Soon, the dreams started clustering together, Red and Muriel shouting insults at Pork Chop back and forth, and memories of them kicking him flashed all in between.
“SLOB!”
“ANIMAL!”
“PIG!”
The pig finally woke up and flew out of the house on the farm grounds, flying past all the bones and dirt and wreckage, he tried to shake off all the bad memories of the history he had with Red and Muriel and all the other animals simply ignoring him, what scared him the most is those memories were reality just a while ago. He flew into the dark clouds, past all the shining stars and finally flew far enough that the barn, the house, all became small dots on the horizon, Pork Chop had nowhere decent to stay, and was too scared to sleep anywhere else, he had a decision to keep flying until someone else called for his services again, or until someone offered him a place to stay, or he could simply stay within the thick of the forest. Chop made a decision to keep on flying, and that’s just what the pig did, he flew towards the moon and stars that all lay before him,
“You godforsaken pig, I could kick you into the moon, you filth!” yelled the memory of Red.
So there was Pork in the sky, and it flew, it flew as fast as it could.
______________
So yeah, a little fast-paced, a little crazy, but hey, it's practically my first time writing.
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