THE WIKI NEWS: Hot off the press again!

Color Printer · **Posted:** Sun Aug 19, 2007 1:33 am

And now, our letter from Teh Edi-Tor.

Quote:

Articles Needed
The Wiki News, the official underground newspaper of the Homestar Runner Wiki, is in desperate need of news articles. Please submit news articles, relating only the most hilarious facts, along with any related photographs, to this thread.

Stories should meet these criteria:
(1) Try to use good journalistic grammar, i.e., make it sound like a half-way decent newspaper article.
(2) They should be remotely related to H*R, the Wiki, or forum members. However, if an article is funny enough, we can classify it under International News.
(3) No Yellow Journalism, i.e., no using The Wiki News as a whining contest.

Thank you. - Teh Edi-Tor

Posts Deleted into Oblivion
On Thursday, August 16, many posts and topics were wiped out by someone evil. We are not sure who, but our sources are hinting at a certain-

*electrocuted, falls unconsious*

Funkstar · **Posted:** Sun Aug 19, 2007 11:28 am

DRAMA AT HRWIKI FORUMS
DRAMA I SAY
After the XBOX HUEG deletion of random-arse threads the other day, several forum members are being held for suspicion of. . . doing it. No, not that, it; the deletion. Several infamous internet hacker groups are suspected, they call themselves anonymous, they are hackers on steroids, treating the web like a real life video game. This is one of the websites they haven't managed to sack. Investigators made a statement saying they are very close to capturing the ring leader of the INTERNET HAET MACHINE. This group is also under suspicion of VANICIDE, for blowing up several vans.

_______________________________________________________________

OMG CHRIS HANSEN AT IT AGAIN
THE DIRTY BUM

After that one dude "BIGMIKE" posted his desktop, complete with CP folders on the "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD POST YOUR DESKTOP" thread, the lovable jerk Funkstar has sent the images to Perverted Justice.

Why don't you take a seat...

Shippinator Mandy · **Posted:** Sun Aug 19, 2007 11:39 pm

Forum Catches Fire!

It was discovered recently that the Purge was caused by a horrendous fire. Police are investigating it as arson.

"This was one huuuuuuuuuge fire," says Chief Ramrod.

Nobody was injured, but tons of stuff got destroyed, including entire topics, and even entire boards.

In addition, several houses were severely damaged.

Shwoo · **Posted:** Mon Aug 20, 2007 2:44 am

This is a satire, it's not a whining... contest... thing.

NEW USER NOT ACCUSED OF BEING FAKE ACCOUNT

In a shocking development today, one of the hrwiki forum's newest users, who asked that he not be named, was not accused of being a fake account by anybody.
"I don't understand it," said the user, looking nonplussed. "I made all the right mistakes, I made a nonsenscial Homestar Runner poll, I got into an argument with a regular, I even resized my avatar incorrectly. And yet nobody seemed to pick it up. They didn't even try to get me banned."
Some have speculated that this is the end of the forum as we know it, but others believe that it is a natural result of April Fool's Day, when the last fake account was revealed, being over four months ago. "It's almost time for PWNDAY '07," they add. "The mods aren't gonna copy Alberto and Putin's April Fools Day prank, that's just lame."
Upon being asked what he was going to do now, the user replied, "I'm going to try for an account at the wiki. Maybe flood Recent Changes with minor edits to my userpage or spam talk pages."
We wish him good luck.

buhubs · **Posted:** Sat Sep 08, 2007 4:00 am

FORUM NEWS HOROSCOPE
Aquarius:
Something bad will happen
Pisces:
Something bad will happen
Aries:
Something bad will happen
Taurus:
Something bad will happen
Gemini:
Something bad will happen
Cancer:
Something bad will happen
Leo:
Something bad will happen
Virgo:
Something bad will happen
Libra:
Something bad will happen
Scorpio:
Something bad will happen
Sagittarius:
Something bad will happen
Capricorn:
Something bad will not happen buuuut...you never know.

Duecex2 · **Posted:** Sat Sep 08, 2007 4:39 am

This is the only thing buhubs has done that I have laughed at.

Write it down, people.

And Shwoo's was prooty funny, too.

IantheGecko · **Posted:** Sat Sep 08, 2007 4:42 am

Sock Puppet Eats Foot
A&C - In a shocking twist of events, a sock puppet was witnessed eating the foot of the sock from which it came. Local forumer Inverse Tiger witnessed the event.

"The puppet looked fine to me. It told jokes and stuff, then out of nowhere it just chomped off that guy's foot! Scary stuff."

The victim's identity has not been released, but (s)he is expected to make a full recovery.

buhubs · **Posted:** Sat Sep 08, 2007 4:52 am

BUHUBS FAINTS!
In that post that was before Ian's, Deucex for maybe the first time in his life laughed at something one user, buhubs A. hubson wrote!

No, wait.

Buhubs X. Hubson, the 'X' makes it sound cool.

Duecex2 · **Posted:** Sat Sep 08, 2007 4:52 am

SHIZZ IS GOING DOWN IN FUN POLLS

And I like where it's going.

Somm-1 · **Joined:** Mon Feb 13, 2006 4:15 pm **Posts:** 2507

buhubs wrote:

BUHUBS FAINTS!
In that post that was before Ian's, Deucex for maybe the first time in his life laughed at something one user, buhubs A. hubson wrote!

No, wait.

Buhubs X. Hubson, the 'X' makes it sound cool.

What does the 'A' stand for?

Did he sell eggs? · **Posted:** Sat Sep 08, 2007 5:51 am

CHUBBY KID FINDS LOOPHOLE USING INTERNETS

After a thorough discussion in health, noob man Did He Sell Eggs was informed he needed to exercise daily, or suffer consequences of obesity. Not being that of dumb type, he quickly looked up a popular internet person on Google and clicked on the first thing that had a forum about it. In this forum, pointless ramble were made to a point where he achieved the properties of an internet addict. This gave him sympathy of many around him and passed off any exercising. It wasn't until

Continued on A16

buhubs · **Posted:** Sat Sep 08, 2007 6:07 pm

PAGE A16
YOU SPILLED COFFEE ALL OVER THE REST OF THE ARTICLE!
Nice going you klutz! Now no one can find out whatever happened to poor Eggs! Are ya happy now? Are ya happy? Good, now clean it up! And think next time before reading the newspaper, drinking coffee, amd juggling home appliances.

Did he sell eggs? · **Posted:** Sat Sep 08, 2007 8:12 pm

HRWF's Cookies Eaten
After a large crowd of regulars all logged on at the same time, new Cookies were made at the HRWF. "It was just a normal day, with a large amount of members online." Said one witness after a mass Cookie eating was held. "I was taking place in a good ol' forum game, and suddenly I'm logged out. It really ticked me off." Said another. Without any new Cookies, many members were logged out and had to re-type their username and password, a feat which non had to do for a very long time. But with no Cookies to trace who had done it, no suspects have been made. "We really have no clue, but I have a gut feeling it was a stupid hungry kid." Said a trusted admin. "We'll just have to hope the members can repair somehow, and that this doesn't happen again."

buhubs · **Posted:** Sat Sep 08, 2007 8:19 pm

Somm-1 wrote:

buhubs wrote:

BUHUBS FAINTS!
In that post that was before Ian's, Deucex for maybe the first time in his life laughed at something one user, buhubs A. hubson wrote!

No, wait.

Buhubs X. Hubson, the 'X' makes it sound cool.

What does the 'A' stand for?

What A?

Ath-a-late · **Posted:** Sun Sep 09, 2007 3:47 am

Ath-a-late is sad. Sources roll their eyes and mutter "Not again..."

The infamous forumer Ath-a-late, best known for creating the most amazing chocolate chip cookies ever and some comic, collapsed onto her bed in a fit of depression and stayed there for eighteen hours doing nothing. Some speculate it has something to do with her lack of artistic inspiration lately.
When asked for a statement, Ath-a-late simply muttered "Meh," and pretended to fall asleep.

Somm-1 · **Joined:** Mon Feb 13, 2006 4:15 pm **Posts:** 2507

buhubs wrote:

Somm-1 wrote:

buhubs wrote:

BUHUBS FAINTS!
In that post that was before Ian's, Deucex for maybe the first time in his life laughed at something one user, buhubs A. hubson wrote!

No, wait.

Buhubs X. Hubson, the 'X' makes it sound cool.

What does the 'A' stand for?

What A?

You know perfectly well what I'm talking about, Mr. Witness Protection Program.
buhubs A. hubson

buhubs · **Posted:** Sun Sep 09, 2007 2:06 pm

Somm-1 wrote:

buhubs wrote:

Somm-1 wrote:

buhubs wrote:

BUHUBS FAINTS!
In that post that was before Ian's, Deucex for maybe the first time in his life laughed at something one user, buhubs A. hubson wrote!

No, wait.

Buhubs X. Hubson, the 'X' makes it sound cool.

What does the 'A' stand for?

What A?

You know perfectly well what I'm talking about, Mr. Witness Protection Program.
buhubs A. hubson

Alright, alright, the A stands for...

"Always recycle...TO THE X-TREEEMMEE!"

And that's where the X came from.

strongfan · **Posted:** Fri Sep 14, 2007 10:38 pm

Strongfan Locked out of his account!
Minuts ago, strongfan tried to change his email to his wiimail, only to find his activation link not there! Responding quickly, he set up a temporary fake accout, strongfantoo, and hurridly contacted StrongRad in addition to posting his problem on the Help Desk. When we asked him what he would do next, he had this to say!
"Probably play Mario Kart 64 on the Virtual Console."

buhubs · **Posted:** Fri Sep 14, 2007 10:49 pm

strongfan wrote:

This Just In! Strongfan Locked out of his account!
Minuts ago, strongfan tried to change his email to his wiimail, only to find his activation link not there! Responding quickly, he set up a temporary fake accout, strongfantoo, and hurridly contacted StrongRad in addition to posting his problem on the Help Desk. When we asked him what he would do next, he had this to say!
"Probably play Mario Kart 64 on the Virtual Console."

STRONGFAN HAS NO IDEA HOW TO WRITE HEADLINES

It's THIS when it's the headline.

It's THIS when it's not the headline.

Get with teh program dude.

Shishu Hiwatari · **Posted:** Thu Jan 10, 2008 2:38 am

What happen?!?!?!

Long missing in action forum member Shishu Hiwatari finally returns, only to discover that her post count of 900 something has dwindled down to a mere 200 something. She is asserting she will never reach 1000.

Duecex2 · **Posted:** Thu Jan 10, 2008 2:59 am

this just in
jello b deleted half the forum in august

Choc-o-Lardiac Arrest · **Posted:** Thu Jan 10, 2008 4:15 am

HOLY CRAP, MAN WALKS ON Funk MOON
NEIL ARMSTRONGS HISTORIC FIRST WORDS ON MOON: "HOLY LIVING Funk!"

Capt. Ido Nos · **Posted:** Fri Jan 11, 2008 4:06 am

HOLY CRAP, GOVERNMENT MAKES UP CONSPIRACY TO MAKE US THINK THAT MAN WALKS ON freaking eh MOON
NEIL ARMSTRONGS "HISTORIC" FIRST WORDS ON "MOON": "HOLY LIVING freaking eh!"

Rusty · **Posted:** Fri Jan 11, 2008 6:11 am

HOLY CRAP, MOON MAKES UP GOVERNMENT TO MAKE US THINK IT'S A Funk CONSPIRACY!
MOON'S HISTORIC FIRST NEIL ARMSTRONG: HOLY Funk WORDS

IantheGecko · **Posted:** Fri Jan 11, 2008 6:23 am

HOLY CRAP! SECOND MOON MISSION AFTER APOLLO 11 NEARLY freaking eh KILLS SOME GUYS!
Apollo 13: Horrible mistake. Awesome freaking eh movie. It's Sofa King great.

The Noid · **Posted:** Fri Jan 11, 2008 8:45 pm

Hey guys
Remember forum elections? Man, I dont think I do.

The Great Clapper · **Posted:** Sun Feb 10, 2008 2:28 am

THIS HAS OFFICIALLY BECOME THE TALK IN BIG TYPE THREAD!

What a shame...

sci-fi greg · **Joined:** Tue Jul 25, 2006 4:02 pm **Posts:** 1347

EXTRA EXTRA!

That was a month ago.

Choc-o-Lardiac Arrest · **Posted:** Sun Feb 10, 2008 4:31 am

HOLY LIVING Funk!
What the Funk, man, seriously.

Capt. Ido Nos · **Posted:** Sun Feb 10, 2008 4:32 am

EXTRA EXTRA!

Actually, it's pretty much always been like that. MORE ON THIS AT MIDNIGHT, WHEN WE DECIDE TO WRITE MORE.

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THE WIKI NEWS: Hot off the press again!

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