Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

I have a wicked headache.
But that's not my main problem.
I've forgotten everything.
I don't know where I am, who I am, or even why I'm here.
I woke up in a strange room today.
It looks like a cross between a hotel room, a public washroom, and a hospital.
It even smells like it.
But that doesn't matter.
I'm locked in, and I need to get out.
Because I'm going crazier by the minute.

[HOW TO INTERACT: Simply post some kind of text adventure command like >eat cake, or >remove pants. Not too much silliness, please, and I'd like to keep this PG at the most. Note that the example is relevant to the story.
The main objective is to a) get out of the room and b) find out as much about yourself as possible.]
Hints: Some useful commands are >look, >take, and >use

EXAMPLE:
>look around
The room is pretty much square, and surprisingly roomy. The ceiling is made of sheet aluminum, with a grate for a vent, and a single open fluorescent light. The floor is made of tile, obviously made to be durable. On one wall, there's a large steel door, but nothing else. There's a cot on another wall, as well as a table with a suitcase. The other wall has a shelf with a radio. The last wall has a somewhat lighter door--probably the bathroom.

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>Get outta the room.

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I tried the door.
Nuts.
It's locked.

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>Go back to sleep.

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I decided to take a little nap.
When I woke up, I found that a plate of food somehow got through my door.
I'm definitely not the only one here.

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Which door?

Regardless,

>check inventory

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The heavy one.

I empty my pockets.
Got nothin'.
There's gotta be something around here.
Maybe I should check the suitcase.

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>check suitcase

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Are you wearing a belt

this could be important

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If so,

>Check beneath and around belt.

If not,

>We can see you cringe. Just go to the bathroom, PUH-LEEZ.

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>Examine self

>Turn on radio

>Try to remember the past

That's all I've got right now.

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Until the Off-Subject boards are here again, I won't be. Goodbye.

Question, did your shoes come in the plane crash?

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...What?

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Until the Off-Subject boards are here again, I won't be. Goodbye.

No belt.
I would, but I don't know where it is.

I look at what I'm wearing.
I've got a T-shirt on, and some blue jeans. No shoes at all.
I walk over to the radio, and examine it. It can only recieve FM... Anyway, I turn it on.
"<KHHKSSHKKKSHKSHH>s is KPIN<KHHHKKKSHKKKSHKHSKHKK>ing country mu<KHHHKHKKKHKHKHSHKH>..."
The radio proceeds to perform a staticky rendition of some country tune.
Oh well.
I try to remember the past, but my head hurts too much.

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Watch more Office.

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>Look for a window
and if there is one
>Smash it and yell for help

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NEW FEATURE!! Click my signature to go to my wiki page! All my wii codes are there.

No windows.
Figures.

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From what I see, this did not happen. I suggest doing it.

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NEW FEATURE!! Click my signature to go to my wiki page! All my wii codes are there.

>Look through the second door (the not steel one)

>Examine vent on ceiling

And I've been wondering: What's the protagonist's gender?

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Until the Off-Subject boards are here again, I won't be. Goodbye.

>Smash the vent, climb into air duct until you find another vent, smash through that one into the room below.

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I jump up and try to reach the vent.
I manage to grab hold of it.
It falls down.
However, the air duct is far to small for me to fit.

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Search around the room for batteries like in that red room game

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Meanwhile as The Faceless Evil closes in on the hapless, sleeping, populace...
Across town in a shanty one-bedroom, an old woman feeds her parakeet.

After that
>Go Dennis

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NEW FEATURE!! Click my signature to go to my wiki page! All my wii codes are there.

>DANCE!

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Until the Off-Subject boards are here again, I won't be. Goodbye.

> Find water. NOW. Before you die.
Unless there was water with the food. If so
>Eat and drink.

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NEW FEATURE!! Click my signature to go to my wiki page! All my wii codes are there.

Can't let you do that, Star Fox

I danced to the static on the radio for a little bit. That worked up a sweat.

I ate the food. Yum, yum.

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What was the food

and for the fiftith time

>Check the dang suitcase

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>slow down kiddo, sit down and think things over.

>Get a poor man's haircut.

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