Homestar Runner Wiki Forum

"Be sure to drink your ovaltine."? What the crap? A crummy commercial?

Command: Set lasers to plop

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Your laser now shoots cream pies. You fire them at MHG. She's not happy. You get zapped with the Bannination Gun. BANNINATED'D!!

Type: Sift through Bill Gates' garbage to find evidence.

_________________

There is no evidence.. He puts it all in the dumpster at WalMart. That way he can bring down his only competition for world domination.

Command: Eat beans

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Lima, lentil, soy and pinto,
Navy, northern, and garbanzo,
Kidneys and frijoles negros,
I love beans!

I love beans, woo woo woo!
I love beans, how 'bout you?
High in fiber, low in fat,
Hey, I betcha didn't know that!

When I eat beans,
I sit in my own little cloud,
Nobody comes to visit me,
In my little cloud.

I don't know why, maybe 'cause I'm cuttin' muffins. Because,

I love beans, hey hey hey!
I love beans, every day!
Beans are an excellent source of protein,
I love beans, DINKY-DOO!

BRAK'D!!

Type: Put Clown in Nukerwave.

_________________

He won't fit.. You need that one that Jamie tried to build on Mythbusters

Command: Set clown on fire

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

The clown screams in agony as the flames consume his clowniness in a huge conflagration.

Type: Roast marshmallow over burning clown.

_________________

Mmmm, those fumes from the plastic hair give it an extra zing! Yum-O!

Command: Shake Paris Hilton and throw her at knight.

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

The resulting reaction(from all the various chemicals mixing together) cause an asplosion so powerful, it could be seen from outer space. You manage to destroy Trogdor's mountain. Of course, Peasantry becomes a radioactive wasteland inhabited by mohawked bikers.

Type: Steal Pee Wee's Bike.

_________________

That's just mean. What did PeeWee do to you?
You COULD take it, but he would go to all lengths to find it, so you wouldn't get away.
Command: MEDIC!

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

A really hot nurse runs out and treats your wounds. But then when you try to steal a smooch, she clobbers you with a giant mallet. MALLET'D!!

Type: Drive Invisible Steam Roller.

_________________

You would, but you can't remember where you parked the darn thing..

Command: Hey, that midget just insulted us!

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

For not knowing that the correct term is "little people," you are thrown into The Politically Correct Dungeon. You cannot hope to escape. Make your time. All your base. And stuff.

Command: Come, let us dance the tango!

_________________

OMG MY WEBSITE IS YOUR MOMMA!

This is a serious game. You don't dance.

Command: Hug a bunny

What the crap is going on here? I'm pretty sure SR had a post here a second ago. SR, are you trying to pull one of those AgentSeeThroo AAAARRRRGGGGBLBLBLBLBL things on me?

_________________

Ok, I'll fix it!

Hug a bunny
If I can't dance with Christa, I'm not gonna hug your stupid bunny. Deal with it!

Command: Tie Didymus' shoestrings together.

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Didymus kicks you in the face 9 times. Then he kicks you again, because he was saving that for like 2 seconds ago. Perfect Timing! The next time, you might want to try to do it Stealthily rather than while he's looking straight at you. KICK'D IN THE FACE'D!!

Type: Filch Queenie's rocking chair.

_________________

Unless Filch means "make incredibly awesome by adding Johnny Depp, 2 rocket engines, 34 cup holders, and 30 gold bars", I don't think you should do that.


Command: Sell knight to scrap yard

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Lamont comes by with his old truck and picks up the knight. Fred calls him a Big Dummy, while Grady's in the kitchen eating all the leftover chicken. Aunt Esther calls you a heathen, then beats you with her purse.

Type: Throw bucket of water on queen.

_________________

You've drenched the queen. She melts.. Turns out she was actually the wicked witch of the West... What a mean woman. You've killed the Witch, and you click your heels 3 times, and get sent back to Kansas. Only, you're not from Kansas.. You're never going to make it back to Peasantry and kill Trogdor. GAME OVER, MAN!

Command: Take Didymus, StrongRad and Beyond The Grave to a bowling alley.

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Didymus whips the pants off of SR and BTG. Literally. The bet was the losers have to take off their trousers and sing "I'm A Tug Boat, Call Me Mel." The lady types thought it was funny, anyway. Anyway, many Cold Ones were consumed and much fun was had by all.

Type: Eat Monopoly Cards.

_________________

Tastes like the railroads. What the crap? North Carolina is Mint!!


Command: FREE PARKING! FREE PARKING!



EDIT'D! I thought it said "fart monopoly cards"

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

All the cars in Peasantry now park on your land, where your cottage used to be. You really should have considered charging them, though. You could made mega GP.

Type: Okay, I'll do it. FART Monopoly Cards.

_________________

PRRRRRRRRT! "Ooooh! Park Place!" Preeereert! "Ooh, Pennsylvania Ave."
POOOOOOOOoooooooooooooOOOOOOOT!
"WOW! All four Railroads!!"

Command: Play Checkers with Monopoly pieces on a Trouble board.

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You shanked my Jenga Ship!

Type: Go to dungeon. Go directly to dungeon. Do not pass GO, do not collect 200 GP.

_________________

Luckily thou rolls double fives and lands on free parking. DOUBLES GETS OUT OF JAIL'D AND FREE PARKING IS MONEY (although not in the official rules)'D!

Command: Make underwear rocket car

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You make a rocket car that runs on StrongRad's underwear. You collect like 100 pairs of his old TW's and put them in the tank. The blasted thing breaks Warp 11.

Type: Give cheese to rabbit.

_________________

No, I hate rabbits! I would rather tango with Queenie C.

Command: REEEEEEEEEER-EEET!

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Them's not real words! Just for that, you get FOLDING CHAIR'D!!

Type: Tango with Queenie C.

_________________

She's an excellent dancer. Makes you wish you'd taken those "forget to dance like a white guy" classes your mom paid for. STEPPED ON HER TOES'D!


Command: Go to bed, you have to get up to get ready for class in 6 hours

_________________
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

You discover a soft object in the next room that, if you lie upon it for a few hours, promotes regeneration and healing.

Type: Eat Old Man.

_________________