In order to divert the off-topic-ness abound at the Dream Avatar thread, I've decided to create the STAR-LECH thread, which I'll use to host me and Tor's masterpiece in the making. A movie is already in the works, as is the five-book collector's edition. Also, I've made some promo art for it, check it out:
Now for the good, DRUM ROLL PLEASE!
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DUN DUN DUNNA DUNN DUN DUNNA DUN!! DAN DUN DAA DUNN DUNNA DA DUN DUNNA DA!
The story begins when Jones stumbles upon Didymus out in the woods, chanting an odd mantra: Lech, Lech, Lech. He is mystified and asks the meaning of it, and Didymus tells of a story as old as time itslef: The Black Lech against the White Lech, evil and good, wrong and right.
Didymus began telling young Skywalker of the "golden age of leching". "The white lech was a force of good natured fun in the galaxy, a master of the white lech was often the life of the party and a respected member of the community" he said, the expressions on Didymus' face began to fade as if he were going into a trance as he went deeper into his tale.
"Your father and I were partners in leching as soon as we got out of the academy, we just had a strong bond that grew quickly in a short time. I remember many a night when we would be at the canteen, your father looking into a jawa beer as if there was the answer to life and exsistance at the bottem of the glass and i would be scanning the crowd for a sweet young girl that would take no offence to our good natured leching. And boy did we get our share of leching" Didymus opens his eyes and says "and sometimes more" with a wink.
He closes his eyes again and picks up the story where he left off "and trouble mostly because we, as brash young lechlings would sometimes lech on another man's wife. We also had our share of bountys on our heads for leching on the wives and girlfriends of powerful drug and crime lords. We grew out of that phase togther and decided that it was time to truly become masters of the white lech so we studied with the most powerful lecher in the galaxy lech Master Seethroo and in due time and face smacks we became masters of our good natured trade and we joing the order of the white lech, a scocity of white lech masters. And we had some good times, with our luch master's garb the ladies flocked to us hoping for some good natured flattering.
We were happy....for a time" Didymus once again opened his eyes and his face grew grave as he told the next part of his story "untill the day that changed everything"
"The sky darkened that day, and everything felt...dead" Didymus grimly said, trepidation as he ventured deep into his the dark recesses of his memory. ""Twas that day when everything that was golden, that sparkled like running water from a mountaintop turned black and shriveled and cold. Colder than the corspe of a loved one."
Jones looked down at the ground, concentrating on Didymus' story.
"Over the hills they assembled, laughing over the cry of frightened women and children, it was then that I knew Lunch had gone too far."
Jones looked up and met eye-to-eye with the crone, "Lunch?"
Didymus sighed, a deep and heavy sigh tinged with years of living and the hints of a deeper, darker, past. "Yes, Lunchius Nekkad. Once the champion of the White, the good natured, now a jester in the court of evil.
"The story of his turn and the reasons contained within are trivial and pointless," Didymus continued, looking deadpan, "The cold, hard, fact is that he did and the balance was forever upset.
"We had known of the existnece of the Black Lechers for quite some time, but back in the gray years they were few and very far between. If I remember correctly, only 1 in 5,000,000,000,000 was a devotee of the darker art of Lech." Didymus bit his lip, a trace of a tear grew in his eye, "I should have never let him go to Babelion 7. That is where Lunchius found the leader of the Black and was converted. I COULD'VE STOPPED HIM!" Didymus screams at the sky, shaking his fist in white-hot anger and regret, "IF ONLY I HAD THE WILL! IF ONLY...If only your father was still alive to be at my side..." Seeing the err he made, Didymus quickly covers his mouth.
Jones gasped and slammed his fist down on the dirt, the dull sound echoing in the opening. "WHO KILLED HIM?"
"I..I.. uh..I meant-"
Jones roared back, "MEANT WHAT!?!"
"Don't get angry at me, young fool. Yes your father is dead, for quite some time. Why do you think you are living with your Unlce Stu?"
Jones put his chin to his chest, gulping, the look of a decieved man. "Stu told me he left, to...find...."
Didymus eyes him cautiously, "To find what?"
Jones looks up and stares straight into Didymus' very soul, penetrating deep. "You..."
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STAY TUNED!